


Like a Flood

by Shingeki_No_Kill_Me



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Anal Sex, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Dates, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bisexual Bertholdt, Blow Jobs, Camboy Bertholdt, Comfort, Drinking, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mild Angst, Recreational Drug Use, Roommates, Sexual Tension, Smoking, Spoilers up to and including current SnK chapters, They look out for each other, Ymir and Reiner are bros, dick piercings, very mild usage of homophobic slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:13:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 129,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shingeki_No_Kill_Me/pseuds/Shingeki_No_Kill_Me
Summary: A timely coincidence reunites Reiner and Bertholdt, two childhood friends who had fallen out of touch after middle school. They quickly find themselves infatuated with each other and although they attempt to ignore their mutual feelings, their situation seems to be nothing less than perfect. Will they be able to maintain this seemingly perfect reality? Or will it all come crumbling down when details of a past life begin to emerge?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys!  
> This is the first fic that I've worked on in a while so as always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. As stated, this fanfic will be multi-chapter. I'm not sure how many yet, I'll probably have a better idea when I'm closer to finishing. I'll be updating with a new chapter every Saturday starting this week.  
> Enjoy! (:  
> (And please let me know if you like it!)

Senior year of high school had passed quickly and it was now move-in day at Sina U. Although Reiner had friends who were also going to the same school, he opted out of rooming with any of them in order to get the “full college experience”. He wanted it to be so much of a surprise that he hadn’t even bothered to look at his roommate’s name. The blond checked his room number one last time before taking the elevator to the fifth floor and scanning the hallway. He came to a stop in front of room number 543, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door and pushing his way inside. Reiner was greeted by an empty room.

  
He decides to start unpacking and arranging his larger items so he won't impose once his roommate arrives. He starts by lifting his mini fridge off of the cart and places it in the corner on his side of the room. He places the microwave on top of the fridge for the time being. After the rest of his bags have been unloaded, Reiner pushes the cart outside of the room and positions it against the wall so he can take it down to the lobby later. He returns to the room and begins folding his clothes and placing them into the drawers of the dresser.

  
As he finishes up, he hears footsteps leading into the room, followed by a soft “Hi”. He glances behind him to find a rather tall man standing next to the other bed. Reiner stands and turns around to greet him properly. “Hey, sorry I’ve got shit everywhere I’ll get it cleaned up as so-“. Reiner stops speaking to squint at his now very familiar looking roommate. “Bertholdt?” Bertholdt nods as he shifts awkwardly, giving a faint smile.

  
He sets his things down and speaks softly in response. “Yeah, when I saw your name listed as my roommate I kind’ve figured it would have to be you ... y’know since you’re the only Reiner I’ve ever known. It’s been a while, how have you been?” Bertholdt turns to his bed to begin unpacking his things as Reiner answers. 

“Been a while? I haven’t seen you since middle school. You basically dropped off the face of the Earth, man.” Bertholdt nods as Reiner continues to speak. “But yeah, I’ve been doing pretty good.”

  
The two sit in an awkward silence as they both finish unpacking. Surprisingly, Bertholdt is the first to break the silence as he hops onto his bed and pulls his knees to his chest. “So, what’re you here for? Like, what’s your major?” Reiner sits on his bed and faces Bertholdt.

“Engineering. I’m not sure what field of engineering I want to go into yet, I just know I want to be an engineer.”

  
“You, _engineering_ , really?” Bertholdt chuckles softly. “I don’t think I could’ve seen that coming. You always needed my help with your math homework in middle school. What made you decide on engineering?”

  
“Well…I guess I just want to make my family proud of me, y’know. That, and the money is good so, I mean.” Reiner grins wide with a shrug. “What about you, what’s the oh-so-intelligent Bertholdt doing at little ol’ Sina University?”

  
Bertholdt brings his knees down, getting a little more comfortable in the environment, extremely grateful for the familiar face. “Veterinary. But I’ve heard that it can be really hard. So if that doesn’t work out, maybe literature. Or maybe I’ll make my way over to engineering. Who knows, wherever the wind takes me I guess.” Reiner nods slowly as Bertholdt speaks.

  
“Wow…didn't know it was possible to be so laid back but so nervous at the same time.” Reiner laughs as Bertholdt whispers a quick “Hush”.

  
“So umm, what have you been up to since you moved away? Any cool new hobbies I should know about?” Bertholdt worries at the corner of his pillowcase nervously. Well, he did have one new hobby. But he figured it would be entirely too weird and inappropriate to tell his childhood friend and now roommate that he's a CamBoy upon their reintroduction. Bertholdt fumbles for an answer, mentally kicking himself for not being more prepared. 

“W-well, I do umm…photography. I do photography.”

  
“Photography, huh? You’ll have to show me your work sometime.” Bertholdt laughs nervously. 

“Y-yeah. I guess so.” He definitely would not be showing Reiner his “work” anytime soon or ever for that matter. Bertholdt pulls his knees back to his chest, suddenly feeling a little nervous again. He's decided that he 'll refrain from telling Reiner anything too personal until they grow closer. If that’s even a possibility. Hell, Reiner could be a completely different person from the one Bertholdt knew in middle school.

  
A few silent minutes pass before Bertholdt sits up and walks across the room to grab his laptop and check for any pre-course assignments he may have missed. He takes the history pre-test that had been sitting in his “assignments” box before putting his laptop away and laying down with a sigh. He rolls to look at Reiner, sitting up on an elbow and resting his chin on his hand. “Hey, Reiner… what's your number?”

  
Reiner glances back at Bertholdt before continuing to fiddle with the cable hookup for the television. “Hey Bertl, are you coming on to me? Isn’t that a little _gay_?” Reiner smirks as the words leave his mouth. Nope, Reiner definitely hasn’t changed a bit. Well, except for his increase in height and bulky frame.

  
Bertholdt sputters nervously. “N-no it isn’t gay... I would just like to have it if I need to get ahold of you and you’re out.” Bertholdt rolls onto his back once more. “Also, please don’t call me that.” Reiner grabs his phone and tosses it to Bertholdt. It lands on his chest and he jumps at the unexpected contact.

  
“Alright, fair point. And why can’t I call you Bertl? I always used to when we were younger.” Bertholdt pulls up Reiner's contacts and starts entering his phone number before speaking.

“Exactly. It’s kind of a childish nickname.” Bertholdt tosses the phone back to Reiner once he has finished.

  
“Alright, whatever you say…Bertl.” Reiner receives quite the glare in response. “It’ll grow on you again, you'll see.” He sits back as he finishes his work with the television, turning it on to make sure he’s hooked it up correctly.

 

* * *

  
As the week progresses, Bertholdt has become more comfortable with his classes, despite the many icebreakers involved with syllabus week. He's leaving speech when a large cork board covered in papers catches his eye. He walks over and stands back, skimming over the flyers until his eyes stop on a certain one. It's for a call-out meeting at the LGBTQ center, scheduled for six o'clock that night. Bertholdt decides that no matter how much he dreads leaving his comfort zone, attending the meeting would be the best for him. He knows that he needs to learn how to leave his comfort zone, even if only for an hour or two. It’s not like anyone here would know him. After all, college is a lot bigger than high school. Maybe he could even make a few new friends. Bertholdt heads to his next class, trying to push his worries about the meeting to the back of his mind.

  
After classes are over, Bertholdt stops at a small café to grab a bite to eat before heading to the LGBTQ center. He nervously wraps his arms around himself as he enters the rather cold building. A sign advertising the meeting guides him to the entrance of a medium-sized conference room. Bertholdt comes to a table by the entrance where a petite girl stands. She speaks with a smile. “Welcome, please take a pin and take a seat where ever you like.” Bertholdt looks down at the table where various heart-shaped pins, each patterned with a different pride flag, are spread out along with information pamphlets.

  
He smiles shyly before picking up a bisexual pride pin and pinning it to the breast of his sweater. “Thank you.” The petite girl smiles in return before directing Bertholdt into the room. Bertholdt sighs nervously as he enters, worrying at the hem of his sweater. The full room indicates that he may have been more than just a tad bit late and there’s nothing Bertholdt hates more than being the center of attention.

  
He scans the room for an open seat, unable to see one from his position in the room. He slowly walks to the side of the room while everyone else converses. He scans the room once more, sighing in relief as he spots an open seat. Bertholdt makes his way over to the seat, stopping in his tracks as he notices a pair of familiar golden eyes staring back at him. “Reiner..?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward situations and gay awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to release another chapter today because I'm impatient :')

Bertholdt makes his way to the open seat, sitting down and clasping his hands together before shifting to look at Reiner, a flood of relief washing over him after seeing the familiar face. “So umm…what brings you to a place like this?” Reiner opens his hand to reveal the gay pride pin resting there and Bertholdt gives an understanding nod before smirking and taking on a mocking tone. “Pfft. Hey, Reiner, isn’t that a little gay?” Reiner shoots him a quick glare and whispers a “Hush.” as the meeting begins.

  
“What about you?” Bertholdt turns to face Reiner, smiling as he points to the pin on his sweater. Reiner nods before turning his attention back to the meeting. Bertholdt relaxes a bit, once again grateful for Reiner's presence. The director of the LGBTQ Center continues providing general information about events and what services the center provides as Bertholdt twiddles his thumbs. As the director finishes speaking , she announces the beginning of an icebreaker activity.

  
Bertholdt's body becomes rigid as he looks at Reiner. “Can we please pretend that we don’t know each other…I really _really_ hate these things.” Reiner smiles back and gives an understanding nod, all too familiar with Bertholdt's anxiety by now. People begin to leave their chairs and mill about the room as they search for someone to pair up with.

Bertholdt turns to Reiner and smiles cheesiliy as he holds a hand out, “Hi, I’m Bertholdt. It’s nice to meet you.” Reiner laughs softly as he shakes Bertholdt’s hand.

“Oh man, I didn’t think you were going to be _that_ serious about this but oh well, I guess…Hey, I’m Reiner. It’s nice to meet you too, Bertholdt.”

  
“Tell me a little bit about yourself.” Bertholdt clasps his hands together with a smile, looking at Reiner expectantly.

  
Reiner sighs in response. “Bertholdt, really? Come on, we just did this like, four days ago. Can we just talk about something different?” Bertholdt looks at Reiner nervously. “No one will notice, they’re too busy talking to each other. I promise.” Bertholdt nods before turning to face Reiner fully, becoming more comfortable in his environment. Reiner smiles at the change in his demeanor. “So…what were you doing all those years after you moved? You never really told me and I guess I never really found out. I mean, I knew you were moving but I wasn’t sure why.” Reiner chuckles softly as he finishes speaking.

  
“Well…” Bertholdt starts off hesitantly. “My parents wanted me to go to a nice boarding school so we moved down to Trost so they could enroll me…” Reiner nods, thinking for a bit.

  
“You always did dress nice in middle school…I guess I kind of forgot that your family is pretty well off.” Bertholdt nods shyly before wrapping his arms around himself uncomfortably. Reiner notices his change in mood and softly rests a hand on Bert's forearm. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, we can move on. Did you make any new friends in Trost?”

  
Bertholdt smiles at the gesture before frowning slightly once more. “No…not really. I mostly just talked to Annie over the phone. We would hang out sometimes on the weekends, more so when both of us could drive.”

  
Reiner gasps playfully. “You mean to tell me that you kept in touch with Annie for all those years but neglected to even send me a single message on any form of social media?”

Bertholdt takes his roommate a little too seriously, breaking eye contact and turning away from him slightly before speaking. “I-I’m sorry…I just felt like I was a burden when we were younger. Besides, Annie was the one who kept in touch with me. Not the other way around.” Bertholdt takes on a slightly sassier tone before turning towards Reiner once more and crossing his arms. “So, you could’ve kept in touch if you wanted to but, apparently I’m not worth the effort.” He turns his face away from Reiner, sticking his nose up before glancing over at him with a smile, hopefully successfully indicating that he was only kidding. Reiner smiles back before pointing to Bertholdt's pin.

  
“So, you may not have made any new friends per say, but what about any _loooove_ interests?” Reiner wiggles his eyebrows as he teases. Bertholdt blushes bright, getting ready to answer until the director calls the room’s attention back to her so she can formally close the meeting. The two sit forward, ending their conversation in order to pay full attention to the director.

  
As the meeting comes to a close, everyone stands to begin leaving. Reiner and Bertholdt stay seated, making a silent agreement to walk back to the dorm together as they wait for the foot traffic to die down. After mostly everyone has left, the boys stand and make their way out of the center. They walk side-by-side in silence for a few minutes before Reiner looks at Bertholdt, studying his features for a bit as he begins to speak. “So, when did you know that you were bi? Or like, how did you come to that conclusion?”

  
Reiner laughs nervously, hoping that his question didn’t come too sudden or come off as rude or distasteful. Bertholdt smiles at him, reassuring Reiner that it was alright to ask. “Well, at first, I thought I was just gay. I first noticed in middle school when I started getting crushes on guys…” Bertholdt trails off as he looks at the stars.

  
Reiner grins as he listens. “Ooooh middle school, you say? Do I know these guys you speak of? Please, do tell.” Bertholdt pulls his attention away from the stars to respond.

“Well, it all started with this huge crush on my cousin's boyfriend. At first I thought it was just basic admiration since he was just such a handsome guy. And then…and then there was another, more persistent one a couple years later. I’ll tell you but...but you have to promise not to laugh at me or be weirded out or anything.” Reiner nods in reassurance before prompting Bert to continue. “…well, I ended up developing a pretty big crush on _you_ during middle school. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t last for a while. That’s…that’s another reason why I kind of neglected to keep in touch. I think I would’ve died if you had found out...especially with how things were at the time.”

  
Bertholdt laughs nervously and blushes as he looks away. He would also be lying if he said he didn’t have a small crush on Reiner to this day. Reiner pushes his hands into his pockets, smiling at the thought of a small, nervous Bertholdt before wondering: _Was I really that oblivious back then?_ “Bertl, it’s fine. Trust me. I harbor no hard feelings towards you for not keeping in touch with me. Keep telling your story, I’m listening.” Bertholdt nods, still pretty embarrassed.

  
“Alright so, right before I had moved, I realized that I also kind of had a crush on Annie. However, I ignored it because I kept telling myself that I was gay, that I wasn’t allowed to also be interested in girls." He pauses and takes a deep  breath before continuing.

"Anyway...remember how you asked if I had any love interests back in Trost?” Reiner nods in response. “I ended up dating this guy, Marco, for a little while. It lasted for maybe six months if I remember correctly. He actually ended up moving to Sina.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he reminisces. “You actually probably ended up going to high school with him for a few years.”

  
Reiner begins wracking his brain. He only knows one Marco and he _had_ mentioned that he used to live in Trost. “Marco Bodt?” Bertholdt nods. “Yeah, I know him. Nice guy but his current boyfriend is a real dick.” Bertholdt laughs softly.

  
“Yeah well, he kind of taught me that it’s alright to be interested in both men and women and that bisexuality _does_ exist, despite the numerous people who claim it doesn’t. So, between junior and senior year of high school, after we had broken up, I kind of started to explore my sexuality.” Bertholdt clears his throat nervously. “By..by uhh..casually hooking up with Annie.” Reiner turns to face him, grinning wide as he gives him quite a hefty pat on the back.

  
“You left your comfort zone so you could find yourself. I’m so proud of you Bertl!” Bertholdt blushes bright before shaking his head in disagreement. “I-I told you my story, now let’s hear yours.” Reiner chuckles softly as he faces forward once more and continues walking.

  
“Alright, I’ll spill. But I’m warning you, my story is way more embarrassing than yours.” Bertholdt scoffs, wondering how that could even be possible. Reiner starts out pretty hesitantly. “It took me a while to figure everything out. I'm not sure if you remember but, my mom has always been a religious nut. When we were growing up, her and the church both kind of fucked me up, y'know? Hadn't really let me have mind of my own...So when I started having questionable feelings, I repressed them. Like, hardcore. I thought I was ‘defective’ for a really long time…I finally realized what was actually going on with me during junior year of high school.” Reiner pauses, taking a deep breath, visibly uncomfortable with talking about this part of his life. “Do you remember Ymir? From middle school.”

Bertholdt hums and nods in affirmation. “Well, we tried to hook up at one of her parties during junior year.” Reiner laughs as he looks back fondly. “In the end, I couldn’t, ahem, _perform_. She insisted that I was just looking at it wrong, as if there were a correct way to look at a vagina. No matter what, I just couldn’t get worked up. It was just another body part to me, nothing really special about it. Turns out she wasn’t really into it either.” Reiner chuckles softly before tucking his hands back into his pockets as he walks. “We got dressed and just sat on the bed and had the 'Hey, I think we're both gay' talk. She admitted that she’s kind of felt like it for a while, she just wanted a little extra reassurance.”

  
Bertholdt smiles as Reiner finishes speaking. “You’re right…that was more embarrassing than my story.” Reiner scoffs before giving Bertholdt a light shove to the shoulder, holding the door open for him as they enter the lobby of the dorm. “But Reiner…?”

  
“Yeah?” The two step into the elevator to head up to their floor.

  
“This won’t make things weird between us, will it? With us rooming together and all...?”

  
Reiner fishes his keys from his pocket as they exit the elevator. “Of course not. It'll be just like old times...and I mean, just because I'm attracted to men doesn't mean I'm attracted to you.” Reiner chuckles softly and Bert's heart drops in his chest, for some reason slightly hurt with how blunt Reiner had just been.

  
Bertholdt nods slowly as they enter the room. “Right, of course.” He quickly changes into his pajamas, grabbing his laptop before climbing into bed. He logs into Facebook before sending Reiner a quick friend request, the buzz of his phone on the desk an indicator that it was received. Reiner picks up his phone and opens his notifications, glancing over at Bertholdt as he accepts the request.

  
Bertholdt smiles as he opens the chat box, typing a quick message: “Nerd :P”. Reiner hears his phone buzz once more, looking at Bertholdt curiously. He checks the message before setting his phone back down.

  
“Bertl, you’re literally two feet away from me. Why don’t we just talk?” Bertholdt smiles before sending a new message: “don’t feel like it :^)”. Reiner sighs before picking his phone back up and opening his messages to reply. “Alright…geek (:”

  
Bertholdt feels his chest tighten slightly. Maybe he had more than just a _small_ crush on Reiner. Maintaining their agreement was going to be a lot harder for him than he had thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyy let's play a game of "how many more awkward situations can I fit into this fic"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here lies Bertholdt: killed by his own embarrassment

As the next few weeks pass, Bertholdt carefully notes each time Reiner goes out, trying to get a sense of his schedule. He hasn’t been brave enough to host a show in the dorm yet so whenever he plans on scheduling one, he makes sure Annie is alright with him coming over that night. She’s almost always alright with it since Bertholdt is pretty much the only company she keeps around. At first, Bertholdt only has the courage to schedule one show a week before gradually bumping it up to two on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Reiner studies Bertholdt's actions quite carefully. Although they had made an agreement, Reiner has admittedly found himself with a growing attraction toward the taller man. He always tries to avert his eyes while Bert changes but he just can’t help but notice the perfect way the brunet’s back curves when he stretches or raises his arms to put on a shirt or how Bertholdt's body is perfectly toned, something one could only notice if he were wearing the right outfit to show it off, or how nice his ass looks when he puts on a good pair of jeans. Not that he was looking or anything. Definitely not looking.

Bertholdt's increasingly frequent visits to Annie's apartment certainly don’t go unnoticed. Reiner is still curious about their relationship dynamic. Although he would never admit it, he’s jealous. Reiner makes sure to catch Bertholdt the next time they’re in the room together. “Hey, Bertl…can I ask you a question?”

Bertholdt glances at Reiner for a second before returning to his book. “Sure, go ahead. Ask me anything.” Reiner nods, hesitating slightly before beginning to speak.

“So…what’s up with you and Annie? I’ve noticed you’ve been over there a lot lately. Do you guys still…y’know?” Reiner makes the finger-in-hole motion with his hands with a grin. Okay, maybe Bertholdt hadn’t exactly meant _anything_.

Bertholdt blushes bright and lays his book next to him before pulling his knees to his chest “Umm...I-I don’t see why that’s important information.” Reiner shrugs before picking his phone up, trying to seem less awkward.

“Just curious. I like to know what’s going on in my best friend's life.” Reiner smiles as Bertholdt picks his book back up, blushing once more. Bertholdt would’ve thought that Connie was Reiner’s best friend. Sure, he was pretty close with the blond and they had been best friends in middle school but things were different now. Bertholdt isn’t even sure how well he actually knows Reiner at the moment and the comfort he had found within the other man when they were children still has yet to return. Part of him tells himself that Reiner is just fishing for information…for some odd reason.

“Don’t you think that topic is a little too personal?” Reiner just stares at him in return. Of course not, because _nothing_ was too personal for Reiner. Bert shifts awkwardly under Reiner's gaze before turning back to his book, looking back to Reiner quickly to mumble a soft “sometimes” before continuing to read.

“Aww, c’mon Bertl, you can’t just give me an answer like that without an explanation.” Reiner prods persistently as Bertholdt closes his book and sets it down permanently, shrugging as he sighs.

“It’s not that complicated, really. Just sometimes. Whenever one of us is stressed or needs a little…help.” Bertholdt slips his legs beneath his blankets as Reiner nods.

“Ahh, I see.” Reiner continues to fiddle with his phone, distracting himself from the wave of jealousy that’s been blooming in his chest. _It’s not like we’re together or anything,_ He thinks, _What right do I have to be jealous?_ “Every time you go over there...?” Bertholdt sighs before sliding further beneath his covers.  

 _Wow, he really doesn’t know when to stop, does he?_ “No. Can we please stop talking about this?” Reiner gives a nod and a short “yes” in response, now feeling somewhat guilty for making Bertholdt feel uncomfortable. Bertholdt turns his back to Reiner, falling asleep in order to ensure that their conversation is over.

 

* * *

 

After class the next day, Reiner enters the room quite noisily, eyes bright with a flyer in his hand. The blond has been trying to figure out which field of engineering he would enjoy the most so he’s been attending call-out meetings for several engineering and innovation related clubs. Bertholdt looks up from his homework, smiling at Reiner’s excited expression. “Find the one?” Reiner sets his book bag down on the floor by his bed before sitting down to take his shoes off.

He nods with a wide grin. “I think so. I think I really have.” After removing his shoes, Reiner crosses the room to hand Bertholdt the flyer. Bertholdt scans the flyer quickly.

“Robotics, interesting. Definitely something to be excited about.” The taller man smiles as he continues to look over the flyer. He notices that the club meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays. _If Reiner really is as interested in this club as it seems he is, this could be very convenient._ Bertholdt thinks as he smiles, handing the flyer back to Reiner.

 

* * *

 

For the next few weeks, Bertholdt studies Reiner’s routine extra carefully. He’s gone for an average of two hours per meeting; more than enough time for Bertholdt to put on a show and get things cleaned up and put away before Reiner gets back. Bertholdt has finally mustered up the courage to host a show in the dorm, planning it for the next Tuesday that Reiner would be gone. The blond seems to be extra excited for the upcoming meeting. He has excitedly explained that they had just finished developing their blueprints and are getting ready to start assembling their robot.

Bertholdt decides that next Tuesday will be the _perfect_ time since it sounded like Reiner would be gone a bit longer usual. As Tuesday rolls around, Bert does his best to quell his anxious thoughts. He goes through his day slightly more nervous than usual, working on his homework between classes in hopes of distracting himself from any mishaps that could happen that night. After finishing up, he grabs a sandwich from the market and eats it on the way to his last class.

Time seems to fly by and soon enough, Bertholdt is back at the dorm. He sets his things down before laying back on the bed and stretching with a soft groan. He pulls his phone from his pocket, checking his notifications to find a text from Reiner.

“Reiner: Dinner..? (:”

 _Why does Reiner have to be so damn friendly?_ Bertholdt blushes, pushing any ideas of this being a date to the back corner of his mind and like clockwork, another message comes through. 

"Reiner: Not as a date or anything tho. Don't be getting any funny ideas. ;P"

Bert stares at it for a moment before typing out a reply. “Sure, where at? I’ll meet you there.” The two decide on a dining hall located between main campus and their dorm.

Bertholdt sighs in relief and almost disappointment at the fact that Reiner wasn’t actually asking him on a casual date. He sits up and stretches once more before pulling his shoes on and heading out to meet his roommate. Reiner is waiting for him by the main entrance, slightly fidgety with excitement. Reiner ends up eating pretty quickly as each of the boys share the details about their day. Bertholdt eyes Reiner's plate and chuckles softly. “Excited?”

Reiner looks up at Bertholdt before glancing down at his watch, grinning wide. “Maybe just a little bit.” Bertholdt smiles as he finishes eating. “I’m glad you’ve found something that interests and excites you so much. Means you’ll be really passionate about your work.” Reiner wiggles his eyebrows with a grin.

"Passion is already my strong suit." Bertholdt averts his eyes as a light blush dusts his cheeks and Reiner smiles slightly before nodding towards the taller man's empty plate.

“You finished? I have time to walk you back if you would like.” Bertholdt shakes his head in response. “Bertl, c’mon. I haven’t seen you like all day and I need to put some things away anyway. We can talk some more on the way back.” Bertholdt reluctantly agrees, hoping he isn’t seeming too suspicious about wanting to be alone for any afternoon activities he may or may not be planning. He grabs their dishes and takes them to their respective bins before following Reiner closely. On the way back to the dorm, Reiner talks about his club and all of the new people he’s been meeting. The taller of the two begins to feel slightly disappointed in himself due to his lack of social skills. He quickly recovers as he realizes that he’s perfectly happy with his small handful of friends.

Their hands brush a few times before they arrive at the dorm lobby. Bertholdt shifts his hand awkwardly each time it happens, apologizing quickly afterward as he tries not to think anything of it. Reiner brushes it off as nothing as they head to their room. Once there, Reiner sets his things down and grabs his phone charger, waving with a quick “see ya later” as he shuts the door behind him.

The room suddenly becomes very quiet and Bertholdt becomes very nervous. He sits on the edge of the bed, worrying at his comforter as he waits for about ten minutes to make sure Reiner is long gone. He strips completely before retrieving a clean navy blue V-neck from his dresser and pulling it over his head. It’s slightly loose but still tight enough to show off his toned muscles as he moves. He then opens the closet and digs to the back where a skillfully hidden box lies.

Bertholdt pulls out a pair of lacy black panties, a matching set of thigh high stockings, a bullet vibe, and his favorite dildo. He pulls on the panties and thigh highs before covering them with a pair of tight-fitting jeans and tosses his other equipment onto the bed before flipping the bedside lamp on. The brunet grabs his laptop and pulls up the familiar site before logging in and setting up his show.

 

* * *

 

Reiner works with his peers on the beginnings of their robot, far more focused than usual. They search for each part as they begin piecing the contraption together, using their blueprints for reference. Armin, a boy Reiner had recognized from high school, scans the tables for the next part. He doesn’t find it the first time so he looks again, this time becoming a bit worried as he misses it once more. His brow furrows and he rests his chin on a fist. “Reiner…can you help me look? I can’t find this sensor anywhere.” Reiner nods as he stands, placing his arms on either side of the table and leaning slightly as he looks for the missing component.

Reiner squints as he looks over each table another three times, quickly becoming frustrated. Armin squats and begins scanning the floor. “I don’t think it’s here…we’ll have to get a new one.” Reiner lets out a disappointed sigh before turning to look at everyone else, hoping someone will have a solution. He had been having a good time and he isn't ready for it to end yet.

“Is it possible to build around the sensor?” Someone towards the back speaks up to explain that it’s an important component and that it needs to go in before everything else in order to function properly. Armin sighs as he pulls his phone out.

“I’ll order a new one but we'll probably have to wait another week until we'll be able to work on it again. So…I guess the meeting is cut short for today and we'll be skipping Thursday as well.” Armin smiles sweetly as he dismisses the meeting. “Enjoy your free evenings.”

Reiner smiles as he leaves the classroom, grateful for the free time but disappointed about the delay in their work. Reiner checks his watch as he enters the dorm lobby, noticing he’s about an hour early. He doesn’t just want to waste away in the room all evening so he plans on asking Bertholdt on yet another low-key-not-quite-a-date, hoping his subtle flirting will get his message across this time. Reiner takes the elevator up to the fifth floor before walking down the hall to the room.

He opens the door slowly and begins speaking as he enters. “Hey, the meeting was cut a little short, wanna g-“. Reiner stops in his tracks, dropping his keys as the air leaves his lungs. He is greeted with the sight of a naked and flushed Bertholdt, stocking-clad thighs spread to reveal a hand wrapped tightly around his cock and a dildo shoved _at least_ six inches up his ass. Bertholdt chokes on a moan that had already made it halfway out of his mouth before squeaking out a mortified “Reiner!” as he slams his legs shut. Reiner retrieves his keys from the floor before quickly exiting the room. “S-sorry…should’ve knocked.” His eyes are wide with shock as he closes the door behind him.

Reiner quickly paces down the hallway as his pants begin to tighten, unsure of where he should go. He decides to go on a _very_ long walk, hoping the cool night air could calm him down. With that image stuck in his head, he knows that his crush on Bertholdt would not be going away soon. A crush that he wasn’t supposed to have according to their stupid “don’t be gay with each other” agreement.

When Reiner returns, the room is empty, the lights are out, and any evidence of Bertholdt’s presence has completely vanished. Reiner texts him several times to no avail. He quickly sends one last message before bed. “Let me know if you’re staying at Annie's. I just want to make sure you’re safe...” After a silent five minutes, Reiner decides that’s the case before finally setting his phone down to get a restless night's sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this fic seems messy, I didn't really take any time to sit down and plan it out in the beginning :p


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner learns something new about his roommate featuring an awkward not-quite-a-date.

Bertholdt never texts Reiner back and he doesn’t return until the Thursday of that week. Reiner returns from class, closing the door behind him and flipping on the light as he sighs, still downtrodden due to Bertholdt’s absence. His eyes light up as a very casual and calm looking Bertholdt sets his book down to greet him with a soft “Hi”. Reiner sets his things down before pulling out his homework and laying it across the bed, trying to seem more casual than excited about his presence. “Hey…s’been a while.”

Bertholdt nods with a smile, having already prepared an excuse. “Mmh yeah, sorry. I haven’t been feeling too well lately and I didn’t want to get you sick.” Bertholdt continues to act like nothing has happened between the two. Reiner nods slowly, clearing his throat awkwardly as he crawls into his bed.

“A text would’ve been nice…”

Bertholdt is more nervous than he looks. Behind his casual façade, he is panicking. He picks his book back up and feigns reading to act as a distraction. “S-sorry…I’ve been out of cell service for the past few days.” Bertholdt is lying and Reiner can tell. The blond is still curious about what exactly was going on Tuesday night but he refrains from bringing it up just yet. He doesn’t want Bertholdt to run away again.

Reiner works silently on his homework, stealing looks at his roommate every few minutes. Bertholdt notices and clears his throat awkwardly before setting his book down beside him. “Have…have you eaten yet? I’m getting kind of hungry.” He feels bad for disappearing without an explanation and wants to make up for it by attempting to spend a little extra time with Reiner.

Reiner makes eye contact before responding. “Hmm, not yet. I’m getting kind of hungry too though. Anything you’re in the mood for?” Bertholdt becomes more comfortable as their conversation takes on a more casual tone.

“I’m not really sure what sounds good…you can decide but _please_ my only request is that it isn’t a dining hall. I’m so sick of campus food.” Bertholdt laughs nervously.

Reiner grins at Bertholdt from across the room. “Honestly, same.” He thinks for a moment before speaking up again. “How do you feel about Panera Bread?” Bertholdt nods slowly.

“Yeah, Panera is good. But isn’t that on the other side of town…?”

Reiner slides off of his bed to start putting his shoes on. “Yeah but I don’t have an issue with driving for a little bit if I'm getting some decent food out of it.” He chuckles softly before pulling his other shoe on and standing to wait for Bert by the door. Bertholdt gets up quickly and slips his shoes on, grabbing his wallet before heading out behind Reiner. The two head out to Reiner's old beat up truck before getting in and heading into town.

The drive is comfortably silent, the slight hum of the music from the radio enough to quell the awkward atmosphere. When they arrive Bertholdt smiles as he follows Reiner into the restaurant and up to the counter. Reiner orders half of a steak and arugula sandwich and a cup of broccoli cheddar soup before stepping aside and motioning for Bertholdt to order. The taller man fidgets nervously. “U-umm aren’t you going to pay first?” Reiner smiles before placing a hand on Bertholdt's shoulder.

“I’ll get yours too.” Bertholdt opens his mouth to protest but is quickly interrupted. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Consider it a thank you for being a great friend.” Bertholdt nods slowly before approaching the counter nervously. _This isn’t a date, this isn’t a date, this isn’t a date._

“In that case…make that a whole steak and arugula and another cup of broccoli cheddar.” Bertholdt smiles at the cashier as he orders. The cashier reads back the total and Bertholdt steps aside and begins looking for a seat as Reiner pays. He sits on a stool at one of the higher tables, deciding it would be more comfortable than having to cram his legs under the table at a booth. Reiner returns shortly with their food and they begin to eat in silence.

Bertholdt hums and smiles around a bite of sandwich. “Thanks for the meal. Guess I owe you next time.” Reiner flashes a wide smile in return, cheeks dusted with a light pink hue as he taps Bertholdt's foot with his own. _Oh god, maybe this is a date._

“You don’t owe me. But if you want to buy me a meal some other time, I won’t say no.” Bertholdt notices the flirty way that Reiner grins at him and he blushes, hoping the blond won't be able to notice under the dim light.

The two exchange details about their days as they eat, heading back out to the truck after they finish. Bertholdt is comfortable once again, although part of him knows that he'll have to give Reiner an explanation about the night before at  _some_ point in time. He throws a hand over his stomach and slides down the seat as Reiner drives. “Oh man, I really think I ate too much.” Reiner chuckles softly.

“Really? I think I could’ve eaten both of our meals and I _still_ would be hungry.” Bertholdt looks at him and smiles. Reiner has always had quite a large appetite, even when they were children. He looks for maybe a touch too long, appreciating the Blond’s features. Bertholdt's eyes trace the edge of Reiner's firm jawline, flowing up to his sharp cheekbone and then to his stunning golden eyes. Which seem to be staring back at him.

“Is there something on my face?” Bertholdt blushes as he shakes his head rapidly.

“No, sorry…just kind of spaced out, I guess.” Reiner smiles as he pulls into a parking spot by their residence hall. He parks before turning the truck off and turning to look at Bertholdt.

“Got something on your mind? Wanna talk about it?” Bertholdt blushes softly, shaking his head “no” as he leaves the truck, walking to the lobby doors and leaving Reiner behind him.

Reiner jogs to catch up, hoping he didn’t do anything that might scare the other man off. They head up to the room in silence. Bertholdt sits on the edge of his bed, flopping back and closing his eyes to relax while Reiner grabs his things for a shower. He heads down to the communal bathroom and picks a stall before hanging his things up. He takes his time, thinking about whether or not he should bring Tuesday night up just yet.

Reiner steps out and wraps his towel securely around his waist, deciding that he'll bring it up while it’s still relevant. He walks back to the room and steps in. He pretends that he doesn’t feel Bertholdt's eyes on his large muscled form as he turns away to get dressed. The blond has yet to read his roommate correctly. It seems that the other man could be attracted to him but Reiner doesn’t want to get _too_ close just in case he's been mistaking Bertholdt's friendliness for something more. He decides that must be the case since Bertholdt is clearly only interested in Annie.

Reiner sighs as he pulls on a pair of boxers and socks, toweling off his hair after he is decently clothed. He turns to look at Bertholdt. “Is it alright if I turn the light off?” Bertholdt responds with a nod and Reiner steps over to flip the switch before climbing into bed, the light from the full moon peering between the blinds to highlight his abs. Reiner lays in silence for a few minutes before sighing softly.

“Bertl…can I ask you a question?” Bertholdt breaks into a nervous sweat. He knows he can’t avoid confrontation forever. He takes a shaky breath before rolling to face Reiner.

“Y-yeah…what about?”

Reiner looks at him before lowering his voice. “I think you know what about…”

Bertholdt wills himself not to shrink away and shut Reiner out. “U-umm…T-Tuesday?” Reiner nods in response, the room silent for a good minute. Bertholdt worries at the edge of his comforter before breaking the silence. “Well, what were you about to ask?” Reiner sits up fully to face Bertholdt who is still half hiding beneath his comforter.

“I’m just curious about what you were doing.” Reiner shrugs as he speaks. “That’s all…” Bertholdt blushes brightly as he mumbles.

“I…I think it was pretty obvious what was going on.” Bert chuckles nervously. "I don't ask you about the way you masturbate so I'd appreciate it if you didn't ask me." Reiner shakes his head before leaning his back against the wall.

“No, I mean…you had your laptop out and I mean…sorry if this is weird but you looked pretty uhh…pretty _lewd_. Like, over-the-top sexy. Like, the most inappropriate thing I think I’ve ever seen.” Reiner laughs nervously, willing himself to keep his seemingly calm composure. Bertholdt sits up slowly his blush spreading to his chest as he realizes that Reiner had just called him sexy. He knows he doesn't have an excuse this time. Bert decides it’s time to come clean, no matter how disgusted Reiner may be with him.

“W-well…I umm…I kind of umm…” Bertholdt pauses nervously before deciding to get it over with. “I do CamShows…but I-I'm not a slut or anything…” He pulls his knees to his chest, curling in on himself. Reiner's eyes widen slightly.

“O-oh. That explains…a lot, actually. And hey…” Reiner looks up to catch Bert's eyes. “Bertl…that doesn’t make you a slut. You shouldn’t be ashamed about it, okay? You can even…you can even keep doing your shows here. Just uhh…just let me know next time so I can plan to be gone long enough. Don’t wanna…umm… _intrude_ again.” Reiner laughs nervously once more and Bertholdt looks up to smile faintly. _That went a lot…better…than expected._

“I’m sorry you had to witness that…” Reiner shrugs before sliding back under his covers, cursing himself for the half-chub he’s been sporting for the past minute. He clears his throat awkwardly before turning away from Bertholdt.

“No, don’t be…I really should’ve just knocked.”

“No, really. You shouldn’t have to do that. It’s your room too. I should’ve been more careful, really. I’m sorry.”

“Bertl, I told you it’s fine. Just try not to let it happen again.” He laughs nervously. Bertholdt sighs, worried that things with Reiner will start to go downhill after this conversation. He pulls his covers back up to his neck before turning to face the wall.

“Goodnight Reiner…” Reiner is silent for a bit before responding softly.

“Goodnight, Bertl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive criticism is always welcomed! (:


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!WARNING!!!  
>  MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD

Bertholdt doesn’t sleep much that night. His anxious thoughts and the pressure of midterms weigh on his mind too heavily. Bertholdt is still awake when Reiner gets up to leave for class. He pretends to sleep until his roommate is gone before rolling onto his back and sighing. He knows that with midterms coming up in a week, he should really get out of bed and head to class but he doesn’t. Bertholdt can’t bring himself to leave the secure feeling of his bed and tells himself that going to class won’t even mean much if he's just going to end up sleeping through it.

Bertholdt is asleep when Reiner returns from his last class. He had realized that the brunet was still awake when he left this morning and moves carefully about the room as not to wake the other man. Reiner figures that his roommate must be having a pretty hard time lately. He gives him his space considering the awkward conversation they had had the night before. He sits on his bed, crossing his legs comfortably to start in on his homework.

Reiner glances at Bertholdt after completing every few questions. He tosses and turns as he sleeps. Reiner notes that this is quite uncharacteristic considering the man usually sleeps in unusual yet quite still positions. Reiner figures that his roommate must be having a pretty bad dream. He slides his book from his lap before swinging his legs off the bed, moving to wake Bert. As Reiner’s feet touch the floor, Bertholdt quickly bolts upright in bed, panting heavily, his skin covered in a cold sweat.

Bertholdt had dreamt of a large wall and four young children tasked with a mission that was much larger. His eyes widen and everything comes rushing back. Horrid memories of a life too vivid and too grotesque to have not been lived. First comes anger, then fear, and finally sadness. Bertholdt shakes as he turns quickly to wretch into the waste basket by his bed, his senses completely overwhelmed.

Reiner quickly pulls his legs back onto his bed. “Holy shit, dude. You really must've been getting sick…” Bertholdt chokes back a sob, nodding as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He looks up at Reiner but quickly turns away. He can’t stand to look at him knowing what they had once had and what had ended it all. Bertholdt slides out of bed to sit on the floor, hugging the waste basket before throwing up for a second time.

He lifts his head just enough to mumble. “Call Annie…don't wanna get you sick.” Reiner nods, grabbing Bert’s phone and heading out into the hall to give him some space. He dials Annie's number and waits as it rings. She picks up two rings in. “What’s up, BurntToast? School giving you troubles again?” Reiner chuckles at the nickname before responding. “Not quite.”

“Ahh, I see. This isn’t BurntToast, it’s Reindeer. What’s up? Long time no see. Why’d you call from Bert's phone?” Reiner sighs softly.

“He’s sick…like, _really_ sick. I think he wants you to come get him.” Annie is silent for a good minute.

“How sick?” Reiner cringes as he hears Bertholdt heave through the door.

“Pretty damn sick. Like, nightmare-inducing and then nightmare-interrupting-to-throw-up-his-guts sick.” Annie is quiet once more. It’s longer this time, and Reiner almost thinks she’s hung up.

“I’ll be there in ten. Take care of him until then.” The line goes dead silent and this time Reiner knows she's hung up. He slides the other man’s phone into his pocket before heading down the hall to get a cup of water and an individual pack of ibuprofen. He slips back into the room quietly, placing Bertholdt’s phone on his desk before slowly approaching him with the water and medicine.

Bertholdt is still hugging the waste basket. Reiner hands him the water first. Bertholdt does not lift his head and does not open his eyes. Instead, he gratefully swallows big gulps of water, allowing Reiner to tip the cup for him. The blond rips open the package of medicine, tipping two pills into the last bit of water in the cup. “Last sip. There’s ibuprofen in this one so make it a big one.” Bertholdt nods as he does as instructed, careful to keep his eyes closed. “Annie will be here soon, do you need to pack a bag?” Bertholdt shakes his head before pointing to his closet.

Reiner walks over to find a bag already packed before pulling it out and setting it on his bed. “Always prepared I see..” Reiner smiles even though Bertholdt won’t be able to see it. Reiner's voice sounds like music to Bertholdt’s ears at the moment. He wants to listen to it for as long as he can, as if it’s the last time he'll ever hear it. However, the taller man knows that he isn’t in a state to handle it right now and he needs to leave as soon as possible. A few minutes later, there is a soft yet firm knock at the door. Reiner answers and warns Annie about the disaster inside before she enters.

She huns as she walks over to Bert, kneeling down next to him to slide a hand down his back. “Hey…you doing alright?” Bertholdt nods slowly in response. He’s shaking, his skin cold and clammy. Annie sighs before standing and grabbing Bert's bag, looking at Reiner before motioning to Bert. “Care to help me out?” Reiner nods before stepping closer to the taller man and speaking softly as he crouches.

“Relax, okay? I’m going to pick you up.” Bertholdt stiffens as he feels Reiner’s strong arms wrap around him, a feeling so new yet all too familiar. He whimpers as his body leaves the floor, allowing himself to go limp as Reiner carries him out of the room and to the elevator. Annie follows closely, running a small hand through Bertholdt's sweaty hair. Reiner observes her actions closely and tries not to think about how much they look like a couple. He carries the taller man out to Annie’s car as she opens the back door, allowing him to lay Bert across the back seat.

Bertholdt whines at the loss of Reiner’s embrace before tucking his legs to his body so they can shut the door. He turns to face the seat, opening his eyes slowly as he listens to the other two trade a few words before Annie gets into the car. She is quiet as she drives and Bertholdt works to calm himself down. When they arrive at her apartment, Annie grabs his things from the passenger seat before pausing. “Are you good to walk?”

Bertholdt hums softly with a faint nod. “Y-yeah..” He sits up weakly before stepping out of the car and following her up the staircase. Annie unlocks the door, shoving it open before slipping her shoes off and handing Bertholdt his bag as he slides in behind her. He immediately heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth before climbing into the shower. He is calm now for the most part, trying to keep his mind off of what he has just experienced.

Bertholdt jumps, startled as the curtain is pulled back suddenly. He hisses through his teeth. “A- _Annie_. Privacy...” He does his best to cover himself as she speaks. “Do you want anything? Hot cocoa, chicken broth, crackers?” He nods slowly, speaking softly as he begins to pull the curtain closed.

“Broth, please…and maybe a few crackers.” He relaxes as he hears the door close behind her, finishing his shower quickly before toweling off and pulling on a fresh set of pajamas. He exits the bathroom to find a mug of broth and a pack of crackers waiting for him, Annie nowhere to be found. He looks out the window to find that her car is gone.

Bertholdt sighs in relief, secretly grateful for the time to himself. He stands in the kitchen to slowly sip on the broth, munching on crackers between sips. He finishes and cleans up his mess before heading to the bedroom and pulling the covers aside, climbing in and sighing softly. He doesn’t want to think about anything so he closes his eyes and drifts into a much-needed sleep.

 

* * *

 

When Bertholdt wakes up, he rolls over to find Annie sleeping soundly beside him. He isn’t sure what time she got home the night before but he’s guessing it was pretty late. He carefully slides out of bed and tiptoes to the kitchen. Bert pulls a loaf of bread from the cabinet and grabs the carton of eggs and package of bacon from the fridge before finding a small skillet. He cracks a few eggs into the pan and scrambles them before pushing them to the side of the pan, beginning to cook the bacon in the other half.

He hears the bedroom door creak open as he puts the bread in the toaster and glances over his shoulder to find Annie leaning in the doorway. “You aren’t really sick, are you?” Bertholdt looks away quickly as she steps closer. He begins flipping the bacon as he replies.

“Not...not really. I don’t know, I’m not really sure.”

Annie is quiet for a good while, lightly running a hand over his back as he cooks. He reaches for two plates once everything is done, plating a small serving for Annie before handing it to her. They head to the couch and eat in silence. Annie is the first to speak up. “You remember, don’t you?” 

Bertholdtchokes on the bit of egg he had been chewing before clearing his throat and setting his plate in his lap. “R-remember what?”

Annie looks up at him through her bangs, giving him the “you know what” look. He moves his plate to the coffee table and pulls his knees to his chest, laying his cheek on a knee before nodding. Annie continues to eat. “I figured.” She pauses for about a minute. “Do you want to talk about it? I don’t…I don’t know anything about what happened after well, y’know…” Bertholdt is quiet. He doesn’t speak, unsure if anything will come out even if he tried.  
  
“Actually…I don’t know what exactly happened to you.” He takes a shaky breath. “They told us that they were torturing you.” Annie laughs softly, the sound unfitting for the tone of their conversation.  
  
“No, no. I crystallized myself. They only wish they had gotten the pleasure of torturing me.” Bertholdt sighs softly with relief. At least Annie hadn’t experienced quite what he and Reiner had. “But we aren’t talking about me right now, okay? Tell me what happened to _you_.”

He speaks in a whisper at first. “Well, umm…as far as I know, the mission failed…” Annie nods as she listens. “Reiner got his head blown off and…and after that I lost control, fought recklessly, and I…” Bertholdt chokes back a sob as Annie slides a hand over, brushing her fingers over his reassuringly. “Annie, I died. They…they captured me and made Armin eat me.” He holds a hand against his mouth, willing away the nauseous feeling as he closes his eyes once more.

Annie sighs, setting her plate aside as she clears her throat softly. “Did Reiner die too?”  Bertholdt allows the tears that had been gathering in the corners of his eyes to fall, rolling down his cheeks in thin streams.

“I…I’m not really sure. I was unconscious for a while and didn’t really see what they did with him. I failed him. I failed all of us.” Bertholdt speaks between sniffles, wiping his eyes every once in a while. “Annie, I can’t…I can’t even look at him anymore. There’s no way he knows. He would've told me and he’s…he’s just so different now." He sobs harder and Annie squeezes his hand softly. “How is it possible to miss someone so much even when you know they’re _right there_.”

“Calm down or you'll start hyperventilating.” She walks to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. “It was hard for me too at first but…just keep in mind that things are different now, okay? Nothing like that can ever happen to you here. You’re safe.” Bertholdt nods as he begins to calm down, sipping on his water after regulating his breathing.

“Annie…I know it’ll take a while but I need to stay away for a bit…just until I can feel alright being around him normally again.” He sets his water down before speaking quickly. “ B-but only if it’s alright with you.” Annie flashes Bertholdt a very rare half smile.

“Yeah, that’s fine. But you know the drill, clean up after yourself and help with groceries and gas while you’re here. That’s all I ask. Stay as long as you need, just don’t expect me to be home all the time to take care of you. I have things I like to do too, y’know?” Bertholdt hums softly before responding quickly.

“Y-yes of course, I understand.” Bertholdt spends his day reading before deciding to set up a last-minute camshow, doing the most he can in order to keep his mind off of his past life.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner and Bertholdt are both big awkward babies. Featuring: One of Reiner's bad habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smoking

Bertholdt has been staying at Annie's for about two weeks. Reiner has texted him a few times but the brunet has only replied once with a: “Sorry, I’m not sure when I’ll be home. Don’t worry about me, I’m in good hands.” Annie drives him to campus most days but when she isn’t home, he takes the bus. Bertholdt has learned to enjoy his days on the bus. There's a cute old lady that talks to him about her grandchildren when they ride together. He wonders if they had crossed paths in a past life.

Bertholdt's feeling calmer about his situation now. He has accepted what has happened and he does a better job with keeping calm when he thinks about it. He misses Reiner and notices an all-too-present ache in his chest whenever he thinks of the other man. Bertholdt knows there’s something there, he just isn’t sure whether or not to call it love. He’s hesitant to act upon any of his feelings because he isn’t sure if the feelings from his past life are interfering with his current feelings. He wants to be absolutely sure that it’s _this_ Bertholdt that is making the decisions, not the other.

He feels like he’s ready to go back to the dorm but he wants to make sure that he’s extra prepared for anything unexpected. When Bertholdt returns from class, the apartment is empty. Annie has been gone a lot lately but Bertholdt never asks where she’s going. He already feels like he's imposing by crashing at her place for so long. The last thing he needs to do is keep tabs on her all the time. Bertholdt enters the apartment and sets his backpack down by the couch before turning on the stereo.

He sits down and pulls his laptop out from under the coffee table to work on his homework. About halfway through, he starts to get distracted. He pulls up Facebook and scrolls down his feed. The brunet alternates between doing homework and scrolling through Facebook until he stumbles upon one of Reiner's posts. It’s a picture of the robot that the club has been building, paired with a very excited caption filled with smileys. Bertholdt suddenly feels guilty about being gone for so long. He really hopes Reiner doesn’t think he’s avoiding him, even though that’s really what he’s been doing. He sighs and closes his laptop before tipping his head back to rest on the couch. He drifts into a light sleep only to be woken up about ten minutes later by his phone buzzing.

Bertholdt picks up his phone and feels his chest clench as he realizes that it’s Reiner who has been texting him. Reiner hasn’t messaged him in a while, presumably giving up after only receiving short and infrequent replies. Bertholdt unlocks his phone to read the message and reply.

"Reiner:Hey, Bertl. Feeling any better today? (:"

Bertholdt sighs softly. "Yeah, for the most part. I’ve just been tired lately. I’ll probably stay a little longer, just to make sure I’m completely healthy before I come back."

"Reiner: Haha, you’re kind of a nerd, you know? I wouldn’t even really mind if you got me sick. ;) But anyway, are you feeling good enough to go out? Maybe destress a bit before midterms."

Bertholdt's heart races. He doesn’t want to blow Reiner off, not again. _And what’s with that winky face?_ Not to mention, Reiner had a point. Doing something fun would help distract him from the stress caused by midterms. He thinks for a bit longer before replying.

"Sure, sounds fun. ^^ what did you have in mind?"

"Reiner: bowling maybe? Idk, how about I just pick you up at 8 and we decide then?"

"Alright, deal. See you in a few hours"

"Reiner:see ya (:"

Bertholdt has realized that Reiner has been asking him out on dates for a while. He’s noticed that the other man usually goes out of his way to make it seem more casual than a date. However, it’s still clearly a date. It’s clear that the blonde has feelings for Bert but Bertholdt still feels nervous when he thinks about taking anything further. Especially since he knows things now that he’s sure Reiner is still oblivious to. Bertholdt picks his homework back up and finishes it, packing it away before standing and stretching. He feels good about his plans for tonight and for the first time, he doesn’t think he'll freak when he sees Reiner.

Bertholdt walks over to the stereo and shuts it off before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. He makes it quick, wrapping a towel around his waist before exiting. Annie is still gone when he walks to the bedroom and digs through his bag for something to wear. He pulls out a pair of black jeans and a blue sweater before searching for his white button-up. He finds it and pulls it out, wrinkling his nose as he notices that the shirt is wrinkled. He sighs softly as he heads to the living room in search of the iron. He gets out the ironing board and plugs in the iron, starting just before Annie enters the apartment.

She shuts the door behind her and turns around to find Bertholdt ironing his shirt, still only wrapped in a towel before eyeing him oddly. “Pfft, hey Bert. Got a hot date tonight?” her voice is laced with sarcasm. Bertholdt looks up quickly to meet her gaze as he continues to iron his shirt before turning his attention back to the task at hand.

“Mhh, yeah. I mean…I guess so? Kind of…but neither one of us will really admit it.” He continues ironing his shirt as Annie’s eyebrows shoot up in mild surprise.

“Well, sounds like you’re admitting it right now.” She snorts before laughing softly. “You guys are dorks, just get it over with and fuck each other already.” Bertholdt blushes before holding his shirt up to the light, checking it for any wrinkles he may have missed. He folds the shirt and hangs it over his arm as he puts the ironing equipment away, satisfied with his work. Annie follows him into the bedroom as he speaks.

“I…We can’t. It doesn’t feel right to even think about it, Annie. He isn’t _my_   Reiner.” Bertholdt pauses. “Plus we kind of agreed to not act gay with each other.” Annie eyes him oddly. “Don’t ask, the circumstances are weird, I honestly just think we agreed on it so we wouldn’t overstep boundaries or awkwardly hit on each other but that’s exactly what we’re doing and now there’s all this awkward tension between us and now it’s just worse because I know that I _loved_ him once and…and…” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck as he finishes his rambling. “I just don’t know.” Annie gives him a worried look before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You’ll figure it out, you always do.”

Bertholdt smiles before thanking her, the comment calming him slightly. He starts getting dressed before checking the clock on the nightstand. Seven forty-five, he still has some time to fix himself up before Reiner arrives. He finishes dressing quickly before shuffling to the bathroom, blow drying his hair and fixing it before putting on his watch and applying the faintest spritz of cologne. The doorbell rings as he fixes his collar and he rushes to get it before Annie can. Bertholdt opens the door with a wide grin but it falls quickly.

His breath escapes him and his heart feels like it’ll fall right out of his chest as he opens the door to find a _different_ blond waiting there. Annie tugs on Bertholdt’s sleeve, motioning for him to move before she greets Armin and invites him in. Bertholdt looks at Annie with panicked eyes as Armin awkwardly passes by him. She owes him an explanation but it’ll have to wait for later because Bertholdt can hear Reiner honking from the driveway below.

He heads down the stairs, trying to appear composed as he walks toward the truck. Reiner leans over to open the door for him with a grin. “Bertl, I haven’t seen you in so long! You look so different!” Bertholdt scoffs before stepping in and buckling up.

“Reiner…it’s only been like two weeks.” He chuckles awkwardly, still a little off due to his encounter with Armin. Reiner quickly looks away as he backs out of the driveway.

“But two weeks is a long time when you usually get to see someone every day.” He pauses. “I missed you, Bertl.” Reiner blushes softly before clearing his throat awkwardly. Bertholdt doesn’t know how to react. He plays with the bottom of his shirt as he looks out the window, watching houses pass by as they progress down the road. Reiner glances at him as he drives.

“So…I was thinking. How do you feel about a movie instead of bowling?” Bertholdt hums before nodding.

“Yeah, a movie sounds nice. I haven’t seen anything in a theater for a while.” Reiner changes directions as the two decide what movie they’re going to see. Bertholdt pulls up the show times on his phone and reads them off as Reiner keeps his eyes on the road. The two end up deciding on a campy-looking horror movie, one that looks all too cheesy to scare Bertholdt. When they arrive, Reiner pays for tickets but Bertholdt insists on paying for the concessions. They find seats in the center of a row that’s about halfway up.

They talk softly as they wait for the previews to start.  Bertholdt is talking about how his week has been and lies about what his illness could’ve been when Reiner notices a familiar bald head sitting a few rows down. He taps Bert’s shoulder lightly, grinning before pointing down at Connie. They watch Sasha slide in next to him, returning from who knows where. Reiner looks at Bertholdt with a grin and the taller man eyes him suspiciously.

Reiner holds his hand out for the bucket of popcorn and Bertholdt hands it to him slowly. The blond pulls a few pieces from the top before tossing one down, laughing as it bounces off of Connie’s head. Connie looks at Sasha quizzically and she laughs as another piece bounces off, followed by two more. He turns quickly, searching for the perpetrator and grinning as he spots Reiner. Connie and Sasha rush up the aisle to squeeze in next to the two men.

Connie grins as he jabs at Reiner with an elbow. “You two handsome men out on a date tonight?” Reiner blushes softly but still enough for Bertholdt to notice under the dim light.

“Nah, not a date. Just a couple of dudes hangin' out.” Connie takes a quick glance at Bertholdt who is sweating nervously.

“I dunno man, you both look pretty nice and…” Connie sniffs the air. “Is that cologne I’m smelling, Bertholdt?” Bertholdt blushes as Connie and Sasha begin to snicker. The lights begin to dim and Reiner and Bertholdt are both thankful for the interruption.

The movie is a little scarier than Bertholdt had anticipated and he spends most of it with his legs pulled up into the seat, face hiding behind his knees. At one point, Connie had jumped so high that the bucket of popcorn had tipped out of his lap, sending kernels everywhere.

Bertholdt wants nothing more than to hold Reiner's hand so he has something to squeeze during extra scary parts. He settles for wrapping his pinky around the other's instead. He figures that it would be easier to play off than a full-on hand hold. He squeezes occasionally and mumbles a soft “sorry” after each one, earning a smile from Reiner

Reiner starts to feel nervous once Bertholdt begins holding his pinky. He doesn’t expect it but he isn’t complaining. What Bertholdt has been doing with his pinky is pretty cute and Reiner has to admit that he’s felt a strong pull to his roommate since they had reunited. Reiner clears his throat awkwardly before lifting his hand and sliding it against the other man's palm, lacing their fingers together before giving a soft squeeze. _To hell with the agreement._ Bertholdt looks at him, clearly surprised with a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. Reiner meets his gaze before smiling, squeezing his hand once more before turning his attention back to the movie.

Bertholdt’s heart is racing. This is way closer to Reiner than Bertholdt had intended on getting tonight. The movie ends a few minutes later and Bertholdt releases his hand from Reiner's grasp as the lights come on. Reiner is looking at him but he avoids the other man's gaze. The two get up to leave, saying their goodbyes to Connie and Sasha who are more than likely planning on sitting through the credits before attempting to sneak into a different showing.

Bertholdt walks beside Reiner with his hands in his pockets, trying to forget about how soft yet calloused his hand was or how perfectly it slotted against his own. The blonde speaks up as the two get in the truck. “Wanna go for a little drive?”

Bertholdt smiles as he looks at Reiner. “Mmh, yeah. Sounds nice.” He relaxes as Reiner pulls out of the parking lot and heads toward the gas station on the corner. He pulls up to a pump and heads in to pay before returning to the truck to fill his tank. He climbs back into the truck after he’s finished, receiving a curious look from Bertholdt. “Where to?”

Reiner thinks for a moment before pulling back out onto the main street. “It’s a surprise.” The ride is quiet. Bertholdt listens to the hum of the engine as they exit town. He wonders where Reiner is taking him as he stares through the window into the dark night. He sighs softly before tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

A few minutes later, a tap on his shoulder wakes him from the light slumber that he would never admit to falling into. “We’re here…” Bertholdt hums sleepily as he opens his eyes. He begins to wonder just where they are. Reiner has pulled the truck off to the side of an old country road to face a field. The sky is clear except for the hundreds of red lights flashing in unison.

Reiner has noticed Bertholdt’s confused yet curious look. “Wind turbines. They’re nice to look at any time, day or night.” Reiner smiles as he stretches his legs out. “I like to come out here when I need to relax…thought I would share it with you.” He gets out of the truck, motioning for Bert to follow him as he lowers the door to the bed, sitting on it with a creak.

Bertholdt watches the lights flash as he perches himself next to Reiner. “It’s so peaceful.” Reiner smiles before pulling a thin wood-tip cigar and lighter from his pocket.

“Mhh, yeah. I’ve never brought anyone out here before so it’s kind of weird having someone to talk to...” Bertholdt watches the blonde as he unwraps the cigar, holding the wooden tip between his teeth as he's about to light it. Reiner feels the other man's eyes and lowers his lighter before turning to him. “Sorry, forgot to ask. You don’t mind, do you?”

Bertholdt shakes his head in response before chuckling softly. “No, just…I didn’t really pin you as a smoker. Definitely not a cigar smoker.” Reiner laughs around the cigar in his mouth and brings the lighter back up to light it, taking a long drag as he stares off into the distance.

“Yeah well, not all of us have a cute blonde to fuck around with when we're stressed out. And it’s not like I do this all the time, only when I _really_ need it. As for the cigar instead if cigarettes, it keeps me from chain-smoking.” Bertholdt nods, blushing at Reiner's comment as he shifts awkwardly. The blond lays back with a heavy thud, sighing as he rubs at his eyes.

Bertholdt twiddles his thumbs as he continues to look out into the field. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen you stressed. You’re usually pretty laid back about everything…” Reiner stretches his arm out, seemingly reaching for the stars before letting it drop down to his chest.

“Yeah well, you’d see a whole lot more of it if you weren’t too busy railing Annie all the time to actually pay attention to what’s going on in other people’s lives.” Reiner's tone is bitter and it hurts. Bertholdt watches Reiner as he ashes his cigar, opening his mouth to speak before closing it once more, at a loss for words. “No, go ahead. Say whatever you have to say.”

Bertholdt takes a deep breath. “First of all, I’m not _railing_ Annie. Or at least not anymore. Not for months. And second, I’m pretty sure a cigar is worth like three cigarettes so _technically_ …” Bertholdt trails off as Reiner props himself up on an elbow to watch him.

“I don’t buy it…two whole weeks to recover from a stomach bug? Something’s up and I know it.” Reiner ignores his roommate’s other point. Bertholdt rubs his sweaty palms against the thighs of his pants as he looks away from Reiner.

“I-it’s nothing, I promise.” Reiner raises an eyebrow before throwing his hands back to rest behind his head, deciding to drop the topic for now. A few awkwardly silent minutes pass before Bertholdt slides off of the truck to stand. “Reiner…let’s go home.” Reiner nods as he puts his cigar out on the side of his truck, tossing the end before getting in to take Bert back to Annie's.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agreement? What agreement?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm heading back to Uni tomorrow so I've decided to post this chapter a day early just in case tomorrow is a little too hectic.

Reiner pulls into Annie’s driveway before parking his truck. Bertholdt looks up the stairs at the light that is waiting for him before looking back to Reiner. His hands are clenched around the steering wheel. Bertholdt hopes Reiner isn’t angry. The brunet opens the door and slides a leg out, mumbling a soft “Goodbye, thank you for tonight.” as he turns away from Reiner. He isn’t even all the way out of his seat when a large hand catches his bicep firmly.

He turns back to look at Reiner who is now avoiding his gaze, a light blush spreading across his face under the light of the street lamp. “Bertholdt…can…can I talk to you for a second?” Bertholdt hesitantly pulls his leg back into the truck and nods as he shuts the door.

“Sure, what is it?” He watches as Reiner’s hands clench and unclench around the steering wheel a few times. He opens his mouth to speak but it closes soon after. Reiner takes a deep breath before turning to look at the other man.

“I’m really sorry…for being kind of unpleasant earlier. It’s just been a little rough lately.” Bertholdt gives an understanding nod.

“It’s fine, I understand. If you don’t mind me asking though, what’s been rough lately?” Reiner releases a stressed sigh as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Well, I’m pretty close to failing calc.”

“Reiner…why didn’t you tell me? I can help you, we’ve still got a few months left. There’s still time to fix this.” Reiner nods before responding.

“That would be nice but school isn’t the only thing that’s been getting to me. I’ve been having some kind of confusing feelings lately…”

“Do you feel comfortable explaining? I may be able to help you sort some things out.” Reiner’s heart begins to pound in his chest as he attempts to collect his thoughts.

“Well…how do I put this? Have you…have you ever felt like, a weirdly strong pull to another person? Like, being with that person just feels _natural_ and their presence is calming and all you want to do all day is lay down and hold them and play with their hair even though you made a stupid agreement to specifically _not_ do that.” Reiner wasn’t planning on letting that last part slip out but he may as well be blunt while he has the courage.

The air is sucked from the taller man's lungs as he realizes what Reiner has been implying. He makes eye contact with the blond before taking a shaky breath. “Yeah I…I think I know what you mean.” The two silently stare into each other’s eyes, each man trying to read the other.

“Are we on the same page? Or do I need to explain a little further?” Bertholdt nods slowly.

“Yeah, we’re on the same page.” He rubs his sweaty palms against his thighs before looking back up to the blond. “So…uhh…are we calling the agreement off?”

Reiner blushes softly, turning his attention to the lights on the dash as he tries to seem a little more nonchalant. “Yeah I mean, I don’t see why we shouldn’t.” Bertholdt nods in response. The air between them is tense and it feels like their conversation is over but Bertholdt can’t quite bring himself to leave Reiner. Reiner’s voice cuts through the silence. “Bertholdt…can…can I kiss you?”

Bertholdt gulps, feeling his skin heat up as he turns to fully face Reiner before nodding. Reiner leans in to press a faint kiss to the corner of Bertholt’s lips, holding it for a few seconds before beginning to pull away. Bertholdt freezes, the feeling so familiar it is startling. He wants more. He _needs_ more. Bertholdt follows Reiner’s movements, leaning in closer to press his lips to Reiner's fully. Reiner's hand slides up to gently caress Berthold’ts arm. Bertholdt hums softly as he slides a hand up to cup Reiner’s cheek, willing away the small tears gathering at the outer corners of his eyes, appearing to celebrate a feeling that he’s missed for so long.

Reiner pulls away for a split second, only to turn the truck off and unbuckle his seat belt, before turning to catch Bert’s lips with his once more. This time he parts his lips slightly, slipping his tongue out to slide along Bertholdt’s bottom lip. Bertholdt sighs softly before sliding his tongue out to meet Reiner’s. Reiner leans forward slowly, pressing himself against the taller man as the kiss is intensified.

Bertholdt realizes that he is mostly laying down before sliding a hand into Reiner’s hair, tousling it gently. His other hand finds its home on Reiner’s hip before he pulls away to catch his breath. Reiner is looking down at him as he pants, appreciating the bright flush covering the other man's face. “This okay…?” Bertholdt nods quickly before catching Reiner’s lips once more, this time sucking his bottom lip into his mouth before giving it a light nip.

Reiner sighs in response before sliding a hand up Bertholdt’s shirt to admire his toned chest and when the other man's hand slides down to cover the nape of his neck, Reiner feels safe and oddly at home. They’re making out hot and heavy, the heat from their warm bodies fogging up the windows. Bertholdt pulls away to breathe once more and Reiner moves his attention to the side of his neck instead.

The blond sucks a spot into the side of his roommate's neck, the other man writhing beneath him. Bertholdt doesn’t want Reiner to leave too visible of a hickey so he pulls his mouth to his once again. The kiss has slowed but still remains unexplainably passionate. The two lay in the cab of Reiner's truck, making out lazily until a sharp knock on the window above Bertholdt's head startles them apart.  Reiner quickly works to fix his hair and Bertholdt tugs his shirt down before rolling the steam-covered window down slowly.

It’s Annie. “Hey, no fucking in my driveway.” Bertholdt sputters, eyes wide.

“W-we weren’t!” Annie eyes the quite impressive hickey forming at the base of Bertholdt’s neck before meeting his eyes again.

“Uh-huh. Right. You planning on coming up anytime soon?” Bertholdt nods before moving to step out of the truck, stopping in his tracks as he notices Armin’s figure by the door at the top of the stairs. Bertholdt shoots Annie an ice-cold glare before returning to his position.

“Reiner, take me home.” Bertholdt’s eyes don’t leave Annie’s as Reiner replies.

“We’re already here…” Reiner chuckles softly. “Did you forget?” Bertholdt shakes his head in response.

“No, I mean…take me home _with you_.” Reiner freezes nervously before nodding, noting the tension between Bertholdt and Annie before waving a quick goodbye to the short woman as he starts the truck and heads in the direction of their dorm. The ride home is comfortably quiet. Reiner can tell that Bertholdt is on edge and the last thing he wants to do is make it worse.

It’s pretty late when they get back and the only thing on Bertholdt's mind is sleep. He begins to change after they enter their room, feeling self-conscious about the action for the first time in a while. He makes it quick, climbing into bed and making himself comfortable after he’s finished. Reiner locks the door and turns out the light before climbing into his own bed. The two lay silently and Bertholdt thinks his roommate has fallen asleep until the other man begins to speak.

“Hey, Bertl…?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna cuddle?” Bertholdt smiles softly, hesitating slightly before responding.

“Yeah…” Reiner holds his covers up as an invitation and Bertholdt slides from beneath his own to climb into bed next to Reiner. He snuggles close and both men realize how little room they actually have. Bertholdt presses his forehead to Reiner's with a smile as the other man slides an arm around him. Bertholdt closes his eyes and lays silently, approaching sleep quickly.

He feels Reiner shift away slightly and he peeks an eye open. Bertholdt notices that he looks quite troubled and opens his eyes fully to study his face. Bert turns his head to look at Reiner before giving him a quizzical look. “What’s up?” He hums softly as he nuzzles closer.

“Just thinkin'.”

“Thinkin’ about what?” 

Reiner reaches a hand up to absentmindedly play with the other man's hair. “Thinking about how I wouldn’t be opposed to picking up where we left off.” 

Bertholdt meets Reiner’s eyes with a smile. He watches a faint blush spread across Reiner's cheeks. “Oh…o-okay, yeah. I’m fine with that.” 

Reiner slides a little closer, not sure how to initiate. He's done this before but never with Bert; never with his best friend. Bertholdt closes the gap between them, sliding a hand over Reiner’s back as he presses his lips to the blonde's. Reiner hums softly, grateful that Bertholdt had initiated instead. He rests his hand on the brunet's side as he kisses back slowly.

They fall into each other quickly, all teeth and tongue, soft sighs filling the quiet air. Bertholdt is rolled onto his back before Reiner slides his hand down to rest on a hip. The blonde slides his thumb under the waistband of Bert's pajamas, slowly stroking it over his hip bone. Bertholdt groans softly in response.

He can feel Reiner hard against his thigh and all he wants to do is tell him to do whatever he pleases, take whatever he wants but he knows things are moving too fast. Up until now, he’s been acting instead of thinking, allowing his past feelings to interfere. He may have shared this experience with the other man in a past life but up until today, _this_ Bertholdt hadn’t even openly acknowledged his feelings for _this_ Reiner.

He weakly presses at Reiner’s chest, whimpering softly. Reiner takes a moment before pulling away to look at the man under him “Too much?” Bertholdt nods and Reiner rolls off of him with an apology. He turns to face the wall and Bertholdt rolls to face his back, sliding an arm around him and nuzzling his neck. Reiner sighs softly, uncomfortably aroused and slightly embarrassed but still content. He allows himself to melt into the taller man's embrace before drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

 

* * *

 

Reiner wakes up the next morning with a stiff neck and his legs tangled in the sheets. It takes him a moment to awaken fully but when he does, he realizes that he’s laying on the floor. He rolls to find Bertholdt sprawled out next to him and chuckles softly. Reiner sits up slowly, wincing as he hears his back pop before nudging Bertholdt softly. “Hey, Bertl…wake up.” Bertholdt grumbles softly before sitting up and climbing back into the bed.

Reiner is pretty sure Bertholdt is still completely asleep when he slides in beside him. He wraps an arm around the taller man’s waist, his other hand coming up to play with his hair. Bertholdt stirs slightly, grumbling once more before peeking an eye open to see a sleepy and shirtless Reiner. He eyes the stubble that has appeared along the other man’s jawline and closes his eye once more before mumbling a gravelly “Mornin’”, voice still hoarse with sleep. “You should keep the look…s’nice on you.”

Reiner blushes slightly, not expecting the compliment. Bertholdt isn’t usually the one to be forward. Reiner buries his face in the nape of the other man's neck and is overcome with an unexplainable need to protect him. He kisses the spot softly and feels Bertholdt tense. Reiner pulls away, mumbling an apology for making him feel uncomfortable.

Bertholdt rubs his eyes sleepily. “S’okay just wasn’t expecting it.” He sits up slowly, hair sticking up in all directions. “Sorry about last night…must’ve rolled out of bed and pulled you with me.” Reiner sits up and smiles at him happily, not seeming to mind. Bertholdt looks around the room for a second before stretching and pulling the covers off of his legs. He stands and puts everything back on the bed before pulling some slippers on and heading to the bathroom. He does his business and stares at himself in the mirror as he washes his hands.

Bertholdt still isn’t sure how he feels about everything that had happened the night before. He knows for sure that he’s pissed at Annie and he has a few choice words for her but he hates confrontation so it’ll have to wait until she approaches him. He also knows that he enjoys being intimate with Reiner but he still doesn’t feel quite right about it. Part of him feels as if this is just a casual endeavor for the other man, Bertholdt being a perfect target since he’s engaged in relationships like this before. He wants to get closer to Reiner but knows he'll get himself hurt if this doesn’t turn out the way he wants it to.

Bertholdt parts his sweat-soaked hair from his forehead with a grimace before deciding to take a shower. He makes it quick, toweling off and changing before heading back to the room to find a clothed and (unfortunately) clean-shaven Reiner working at his desk. He sits on the edge of his bed silently, eyes fixed on the floor. The atmosphere in the room grows tense. Bertholdt is looking out the window, watching people walk by when Reiner speaks up.

“I’m sorry.” Bertholdt is looking at him now, a confused look on his face. “About last night, I mean.” Bertholdt clears his throat awkwardly as he rubs his palms against his knees nervously.

“It’s fine, really. I don’t mind.” The brunet flashes his roommate a nervous smile. “I kind of had a part in it too, remember?” Reiner nods in response but Bertholdt can tell he still has something on his mind. The room becomes silent once more and the taller man averts his attention back to the window.

“Hey, Bertl…?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember your offer? About calculus?”

“Yeah.”

Reiner clears his throat awkwardly. “Can you umm…can you maybe do that today?” Bertholdt smiles as he slides off of his bed.

“Is that what you’re doing now?” Reiner nods as Bertholdt pulls his chair over, sitting by the side of Reiner’s desk. “Of course I can help.” Bert looks over the blonde's work before speaking up. “Everything looks good except...these are differentials but you solved them as integrals.” He looks up at the other man who is now rubbing his temples, clearly stressed.

“I always get those two mixed up.” He laughs bitterly before crumpling up the paper and pulling out a clean sheet, copying down each problem for the second time. “I just…I really don’t want to do this anymore.”

Bertholdt looks at him quizzically. “What, your homework?” Reiner sighs before leaning back.

“No just college in general.” Bertholdt mouths a soft “oh” before sliding closer.

“If it’s because your classes are difficult, I told you I can help you…” Reiner looks at him with tired eyes.

“No, no. One class is fine but you have your own classes to worry about. You don’t need to be worrying about mine too.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise. I can still help you with your homework and if you don’t see any improvement then we can talk about how you feel about school.” Reiner nods slowly as a thought comes to Bertholdt. “Tell you what…you start your homework and for every problem you do right, I’ll give you a kiss.” He smiles slightly and Reiner grins back.

“Deal.” Bertholdt watches as Reiner completes the first two correctly. He slides away to give him his space, only returning once Reiner has finished. He checks over the work, noticing some incorrect signs and a few problems with the same mix-up mistake as earlier. He points out the mistakes and Reiner works quickly to fix them. By the end of the hour, Bertholdt owes Reiner fifteen kisses.

This could be the start of something good.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have some fun at Ymir's party. Bertholdt may or may not be in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smoking & drinking

As the days pass, Reiner spends more mornings waking up on the floor. He doesn’t mind though as long as he gets to sleep in the same bed as Bertholdt. Even if it is just a few hours before one of them falls and takes the other with them. Each day usually ends with a slow make out session accompanied by the occasional grope or grind. Bertholdt usually ends it at that, rolling over to sleep before anything can become more physical. Reiner doesn’t quite understand why. He's frustrated but he doesn’t push it because he respects Bertholdt’s boundaries.

It's a cool October morning. Reiner has already left to hang out with Connie so Bertholdt has snuggled himself into the warm spot his roommate had left on the bed. He hums softly, taking in Reiner’s scent as his eyes slip shut. He allows himself to sleep in for once.

Bertholdt is woken up by the sound of the door latching. He sits up sleepily and stretches before rubbing his eyes. “Mornin’.” Reiner grins at him before stepping closer, tilting Bertholdt’s chin up to kiss him softly. Bertholdt can taste tobacco on his lips. It isn’t the first time and Bertholdt has learned that Reiner smokes more often than he had first let on. “You slept awfully late.” The taller man nods before wrapping the blanket around himself.

“I’m cozy.” Reiner smiles before ruffling Bert’s hair and turning to find his phone ringing. He picks it up and answers it with a large grin. Bertholdt lays in his spot, quietly listening to Reiner speak. The blonde pulls his mouth away from the phone as he turns to look at Bert. “Hey, Ymir is having a thing tonight, wanna go?” Bertholdt thinks carefully. He hasn’t seen too many people from middle school in a while but the thought of a crowd makes him feel uneasy.

Reiner is looking at him with pleading eyes and Bertholdt frowns slightly. “C’mon, I’ll be there…it’ll be fun I promise.” The taller man pouts for a second more before silently nodding. He lays his head back on the pillow, ears perking up after hearing the last few words Reiner speaks into the phone. “Yeah, my boyfriend said he'll come.” He blushes softly and looks at Reiner intently, anxiously waiting for his call to end. “Alright, yeah fuck you too, buddy. See ya later.” He laughs loudly as he hangs up the phone.

Bertholdt is sitting up again, nervously rubbing the edges of the blanket between his fingers. Reiner turns to look at him and instantly notices how nervous he looks. “Bertl…What’s up? Everything okay?” Bertholdt averts his eyes as he pulls the blanket around himself tighter.

“U-umm…is…is that what we are? Like, officially?”

“What? Boyfriends?” Bertholdt nods shyly, the mattress dipping as Reiner sits next to him with a soft chuckle. “Dude, we’ve been making out and sharing a bed for like a month and you’re _just_ now asking me if we're boyfriends?”

“Well…I mean…we never really talked about it before. Plus, you just called me 'dude'.” Reiner leans on Bertholdt’s shoulder before sliding his arms around him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right…and I call everyone ‘dude’.” He plants a small kiss on the other man's cheek. “So since we're talking about it, do you _want_ to be my boyfriend?” Bertholdt curls bashfully into the blanket only leaving his eyes above the edge as he blushes softly. He can’t believe he’s acting this way. It’s only Reiner. He whispers softly as Reiner begins to nuzzle his shoulder with his cheek.

“Yes, of course…” Reiner grins wide as he squeezes him tighter.

 

* * *

 

Reiner has changed into an old _Soundgarden_ Tee that fits a little too tight around his torso, not that Bertholdt is complaining. He wouldn’t have thought that Reiner was into the nineties grunge scene but Bertholdt has learned that there are a whole lot of things he still doesn’t know about the other man. Not that he doesn’t enjoy discovering new things about his boyfriend, he just misses the feeling of knowing everything about him. It’s almost as if Reiner is a complete stranger now compared to in their past lives despite the three months they’ve spent as roommates.

Reiner calls Ymir as Bertholdt finishes getting ready, giving her a heads up that they’re on their way. They arrive shortly since it’s not far from campus and as they sit in Reiner's old beater, a devastating thought enters Bertholdt’s mind. Any of the people at this get-together could have already awakened their past memories including who Reiner and Bertholdt really are and what they had done. Bertholdt feels his chest constrict as he exits the truck, throat becoming dry. He hopes he’s wrong.

Reiner leads him along, bounding up the steps and barging in with a loud “Honey, I'm home!” Bertholdt hears an equally loud voice coming from what he presumes to be the living room.

“Hey, asshole. There’s a doorbell for a reason…and close the door, you’re letting all the cold air in!” Reiner grins as he hangs his coat, holding his hand out for Bert’s.

“C’mon baby, I know your doorbell only rings for Krista.” Bertholdt is fairly certain what Reiner means by that but tries not to think about it. Ymir laughs from the other room.

“You bet your ass it does. Drinks are in the kitchen, help yourselves.” Reiner leads Bertholdt to the kitchen silently. The first thing Bertholdt notices as he walks through the house is that Ymir's ceilings are low. His hair brushes the top of the doorway as he enters the threshold of the kitchen. There are several bottles of liquor laid out across the counter and Bertholdt gulps.

He doesn’t have an issue with alcohol, he just has an issue with drinking too much of it. He thinks back to the first time he and Marco raided his parents' liquor cabinet. The night had ended with Bertholdt’s face in a porcelain bowl while Marco patted his back comfortingly. He shudders at the memory before rubbing his forearm nervously. Reiner is already pouring a drink when he looks at Bertholdt. “Pick your poison.” He looks over the bottles before nervously glancing at Reiner.

Ymir starts to shout again. “If you aren’t into straight liquor, Reiner makes a killer piña colada.” Bertholdt meets Reiner's eyes and the other man nods.

“It’s true. I’ve got a heavy hand when it comes to rum though so they can be pretty potent. You’d have to take it easy.” Bertholdt hums softly before nodding, letting Reiner know that he'll have one. Reiner plugs in the blender and lines up his ingredients before getting to work. After he’s finished making the drink, the blonde leads his roommate to the living room. Bertholdt stands in the doorway behind Reiner, slightly less nervous with a bulky boyfriend to hide behind. Sasha, Connie, Ymir, and Krista are sitting in a circle in the middle of the floor.

Bertholdt sighs softly. He’s pretty sure Sasha and Connie are still oblivious and if Ymir or Krista know, they could care less. Ymir whistles as she eyes Bertholdt. “Holy shit dude, last time I saw you Reiner had you beat by two inches. Now you’re like, _colossally_ tall.” Bertholdt breaks out into a sweat as he looks into her eyes, a certain glint shining from them. She knows. She doesn’t say anything else, just pats the floor next to her. “Don’t be shy, sit.” Bertholdt sheepishly follows Reiner into the room, wedging himself between him and Ymir. He takes a sip of his drink, coughing slightly as he swallows but recovering quickly as Reiner runs a hand over his back soothingly. He eyes his cup before taking another much smaller sip. Reiner wasn’t wrong when he said it would be strong.

Sasha pipes up from across the circle. “About time you two made it official.” She smiles sweetly as Connie chuckles softly.

“Yeah, I could feel the sexual tension radiating off of Reiner when we ran into you at the movies. Dude had it bad.” Reiner sticks a foot out to reach across the circle and kick Connie, earning him a loud “Ow!” Bertholdt hums softly as he nods, taking another drink to ease his nerves. He’s starting to feel like he’s fitting in when Ymir speaks up again.

“Yeah, and I was getting sick of all the sappy texts from Loverboy over there. ‘Ymir he makes my stomach do somersaults, Ymir he looks so cute with bedhead, Ymir I wonder how big his dick is.’” She cackles after she finishes her sentence, holding her hands on her stomach as she rolls back. Reiner looks at Bertholdt with wide eyes and they both blush.

“Ymir!” He leans closer to speak to Bertholdt more personally. “I-I never told her that.” Ymir sits up, wiping her eyes as she recovers from the amusement caused by her teasing. Krista shoots Reiner a look, smiling sweetly yet devilishly.

“Sure you did. She showed me the texts.” Her gaze pans to Bertholdt. “Reiner’s too gay to function but I’m sure you’ve learned that by now.” The brunet suspects that the alcohol has well worked its way into his system because instead of feeling nervous as usual, he actually feels relaxed and allows a bubbly laugh to slip past his lips. Reiner is still staring at him, blushing a deeper shade as Bertholdt falls into a fit of laughter, nodding at Krista in agreement. Reiner quickly realizes that he's about to become the main subject of his friends' teasing for the night.

Ymir smirks at Bertholdt. “If you think _that's_ embarrassing, you should hear the story of his gay awakening.” Bert leans back casually as he makes eye contact with her for the first time that night.

“I’m afraid he already beat you to it.” Ymir gasps dramatically.

“ _Really_? He must care about you a lot because I've usually gotta force that one out of him.” She thinks for a moment. “Has he told you about his profession as the personal mailman of lesbian love letters?” Bertholdt can hear Reiner huffing behind him, almost certain he’s rolling his eyes, and laughs as he shakes his head. “Well, when Krista was still with her parents, Reiner used to pretend to date her so he could get my love letters to her house without her parents knowing.” She grins wide. “I’m proud to say that Reiner Braun has hand-delivered my nudes to my girlfriend on several occasions.”

Bertholdt is laughing and as he looks at Reiner, he can tell that he’s getting pretty annoyed. “That’s…that’s actually kind of cute. That’s a really sweet thing to do, Reiner.” He slides his hand over Reiner's and squeezes softly, still noticing a hint of frustration in his demeanor. “Hey…wanna go outside for a second?” Reiner smiles and nods before standing, lifting the taller man with him.

Bertholdt stumbles as he stands and follows Reiner out, realizing that he’s more intoxicated than he had initially thought. He tugs his jacket around himself as he steps out the door, sitting next to Reiner on the porch step and huddling close.

Bert's eyes follow Reiner's hand as he pulls a box from his jacket pocket, tugging out a cigarette and allowing it to hang loosely from his mouth as he lights it. “I thought you only smoked cigars…”

Reiner glances at him quickly with a sigh. “Yeah well, nicotine sucks.” Bertholdt nods as he stares out at the street. He's been taking heftier sips of his drink, the burn of the alcohol dulled by his intoxicated state. It’s comfortably quiet as the brunet watches the tendrils of smoke flow from Reiner's cigarette.

“Hey, Reiner? Why would you ask Ymir if she thinks I have a big dick if you already know?” Bertholdt’s speech is slurred as he speaks and he ends his sentence with a goofy grin. Reiner chokes on the inhale and catches the cigarette between his fingers before it has the chance to drop into his lap. Bertholdt sure is bold when he’s drunk. Reiner is a little tipsier than he might like to admit but at least he can actually hold his liquor, unlike his roommate.

“I-I umm…it’s not like I-I looked at it or anything that time I caught you…well…yeah. I’m not a perv or anything so don’t be getting any funny ideas.” He takes a long drag from his cigarette, quickly recovering his cool. He feels a hand slide along his thigh to rest on his knee and he is suddenly very aware of how close Bertholdt has become.

“Well maybe…maybe we could change that.” Bert's voice is low and breathy and it sends a shiver down Reiner's spine. He looks at Bertholdt and catches him looking away quickly, a bright blush dusting his cheeks. It seems that the move was somehow too bold for the alcohol in Bert’s system to block his nerves.

Bertholdt looks up slowly as he hears the sound of crunching gravel and squints as a car pulls into the drive. The car looks familiar and his stomach drops. It’s Annie. He hasn’t talked to her since the night she’d caught him and Reiner in her driveway.

Reiner eyes the look on Bertholdt’s face before putting his cigarette out in the ashtray and heading inside. “This one's on you, babe.” Bertholdt nods and gulps hard as the car shuts off. He quickly downs the rest of his drink as the car door slams and Annie calls up the driveway.

“Bertholdt Joseph Hoover, I would like to have a word with you!” Bertholdt fights the urge to turn and run inside. He’s always been scared of Annie when she’s angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wanted them to have middle names solely for the purpose of "you're in trouble".  
> Reiner's is Theodore, btw :^)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, it was way too long without the split and this was the best possible place to split it at.

Annie stomps up the driveway, looking more annoyed than anything else. “Why’d you disappear on me for so long?” Bertholdt realizes he’s way too drunk for this.

“Oh, go fuck yourself. You know why.” He isn’t sure if he’s shouting or if it just feels like it but judging by the surprised look on Annie’s face, he had at least raised his voice. He leans against the side of the house as she comes closer.

“You’re being childish. Stop it.” Annie rests a hand on his shoulder, motioning for him to sit with her. “Jesus dude, you’re trashed.” He nods as he slides down carefully to sit on the step.

Bertholdt's speech slurs slightly as he speaks. “What’re you doing here?”

“Reiner invited me. And I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

Bertholdt laughs bitterly. “Yeah, you’ve really got some explaining to do. And really, how…how could you…bring that monster that…that _murderer_ over? At least…at least have the courtesy to do it when I'm not there.” Annie scoffs before turning to look at him.

“Really? Like you’re one to talk. We're all just normal people now, Bert. I know it’s hard but you need to chill out.” He’s silent for a while, trying to collect his thoughts. “I want to talk to you properly so, call me when you're sober…” She stands before offering him a hand. Bertholdt wobbles as he stands, wrapping his arms around Annie and leaning on her slightly once he's upright.

“Sorry I'm such a shitty person…”

“You’re not a shitty person.” She pushes at him gently. “Now get off of me, you reek.” He leans back against the wall as she takes his hand once more to lead him in. She drags him into the kitchen where Reiner is pouring himself another drink. “Babysit while I go greet the others.”

Reiner agrees as Bertholdt makes his way across the kitchen, grabbing a shot glass and the bottle of vodka. He’s about to pour a shot when Reiner grabs his wrist. “Hey, I heard you shouting out there. That means you're cut off, buddy.” Bertholdt pouts slightly.

“But…”

“No buts.” The bottle is removed from his hand to be replaced with a pack of crackers. Reiner slides a bottle of water across the counter. “Sober up a little bit, okay? You’ll already probably have a killer hangover in the morning.” Bertholdt nods as he twists the cap off of his water, taking small sips. “I don’t think either of us are good enough to drive tonight so Ymir offered to let us stay in the guest room, that okay?” Bertholdt nods as he pulls a cracker from the package, leaning on the counter in an attempt to keep his balance.

He follows Reiner into the living room as he eats. Sasha and Connie have passed out on the floor and Annie, Ymir, and Krista have since migrated to the couch. Reiner hands Ymir the cup he had been holding.

“Aww, how sweet. I didn’t even have to ask. Thanks, _buddy_.” She grins before taking a sip.

“Well, technically, it was supposed to be mine. But I cut Bertl off so it’s only fair if I cut myself off too.”

Ymir wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, I can tell. Whisky is fucking trash. I don’t understand why you drink this shit.” She shrugs as she continues drinking before sitting up. “And what's the deal, guys? Do you trade personalities when you’re drunk or something? Here I have quiet little Bertl about to wake my neighbors. Meanwhile, you’ve gone all timid on me because you’re scared someone is going to embarrass you…”

She takes another sip as Krista sits on her knee, handing her the cup to take a drink before squinting and pointing between Reiner and Bertholdt. “Something weird's going on here and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.” Bertholdt begins to look nervous and she laughs to let him know she’s only kidding. “Anyway, the night's still young and the fun isn’t over yet.” She shoots Krista a look before taking the drink back to sip slowly. “Boob luge?”

Krista nods quickly, a grin spreading across her face. She turns quickly to Annie. “Anniiiie will you do boob luge with me?” Annie shoots her a soft glare.

“I dunno, I don’t really want to smell like beer for the rest of the night.” Krista slides off of Ymir's lap and widens her eyes, pleading with the other blonde.

“Pleeease? Pretty please? I haven’t done one in so long and Ymir's cleavage is nonexistent and Sasha's asleep.” She receives a blank stare at first, pouting cutely before receiving a quick eye roll.

“Alright, fine. But only one and you’re drinking.” Krista grins as she stands and everyone but Bertholdt starts to head out to the back patio. He grabs Reiner’s elbow gently.

“Where’s everyone going?” Reiner smiles as he takes the other man's hand, leading him along.

“Boob luge.”

“What’s boob luge?” Reiner steadies Bertholdt as he takes the steep step down to the patio.

“I think they’re gonna show you.” Ymir is standing beside Annie, holding a can of beer while Krista looks at her giddily. Bertholdt shoots Reiner a confused glance before turning back to the scene and _oh_. Annie has her shirt off and Krista is crouched below her, mouth positioned between her breasts. Ymir opens the beer and pours it down Annie’s cleavage, allowing it to trail into Krista’s mouth.

Bertholdt’s growing nervous because this _definitely_ was not what he was expecting. This doesn't seem like something Annie would do but apparently she's done this with the girls more than a few times. He only notices he's been staring, specifically at Annie, when Reiner's hand tightens around his own. He can hear Ymir cheering in the background as Krista chugs before he turns to look at Reiner. His jaw is set and Bertholdt can practically feel how jealous he had been about his drifting gaze.

Ymir is shouting from the other end of the patio. “Hey Bert, you next? I’m sure Annie would agree to another round if you asked her nicely.” She shoots Reiner a glance before quickly catching herself. “Or I mean, I’m sure Reiner would let you do one. After all, he's got the biggest set of tits here.” She cackles before crushing the can and tossing it in the trash can by the door.

Bertholdt releases a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding as he feels Reiner relax. “Hey! Although true, still mean.” He grins wide, looking up at the taller man. “What do ya say?” Bertholdt tugs at his shirt nervously.

“I-I don’t know…I’m cut off, remember? Maybe another time?” Reiner can tell that the effects of the alcohol are starting to wear off as Bertholdt’s usual nervousness begins to show through.  He's still drunk but his speech isn’t slurred anymore so he isn’t _completely_ hammered like he had been earlier. “I think I’d rather just go in and settle down.” Reiner nods as he squeezes his hand softly before heading inside to leave the girls to their shenanigans.

They head back into the living room where Bertholdt sits on the couch, continuing to eat his crackers as Reiner rummages through Ymir's movie collection. “What do you wanna watch?” Bertholdt shrugs before stretching.

“You can pick. I have bad taste in movies.” Reiner sifts through a little longer before finding _Harold and Kumar go to White Castle_. He pops it into the DVD player before joining Bert on the couch.

“Have you ever seen this one?” Bertholdt shakes his head and Reiner laughs. “It’s kind of a stoner movie but I would think it should work the same way for people who’re drunk too.” He curls into the taller man's side as the movie begins.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The situation escalates and Bertholdt finds out a thing or two about Reiner that he hadn't known before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Here there be (pierced) dicks

The movie is quickly forgotten. The girls had left to get food about twenty minutes ago and have yet to return so Reiner and Bertholdt had decided to take advantage of their absence. Reiner is laying back on the couch, lips connected to Bert's with a hand slotted in his back pocket as the taller man straddles him. His other hand is gripping Bertholdt's other ass cheek, squeezing softly as their tongues meet. They’ve been at it for a while now, making out slow but heavy. It had started with Bert giving him a soft peck on the lips but it had quickly escalated from there due to the heavy tension that had formed between them over the past few hours. Bertholdt grinds down hesitantly and Reiner tips his head back with a groan. The taller man looks down at him, not quite meeting his eyes as a bright blush spreads across his cheeks.

Reiner grips his hips softly as he gently presses Bertholdt down once more. “S’good. I promise.” Bertholdt nods shyly, leaning down to continue kissing the blond before beginning to steadily roll his hips. Bertholdt feels Reiner’s hands squeeze his hips encouragingly. He presses back harder in response as he pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead on Reiner's in order to catch his breath. Reiner starts to kiss along the taller man's neck, pausing to leave a hickey as he slides his hands back to Bert's ass, encouraging him further.

They’re grinding shamelessly when Ymir's voice breaks the silence in the room. “Oh, wow. I sure hope you two’re using protection in here.” Neither of them had heard her come home and they scramble apart frantically to find her leaning in the doorway, snacking on a bag of chips. There's no telling how long she’s been there. She grins wide as she looks them over. “Fucking on someone else’s living room couch…and with Connie and Sasha still asleep on the floor? For shame.” Reiner tugs his shirt over his erection before crossing his arms.

“We weren’t…I’ve got more decency than you’re giving me credit for.” Ymir laughs softly before digging around the bottom of the bag to get the crumbs.

“Pfft, yeah you’re right. Sounds like something I would do.” Krista enters the room with a smile, tone sarcastic.

“Charming, isn’t she?” She shoots Ymir a look before returning her attention to the two (still very embarrassed) men on the couch. “We brought some pizza back for you guys if you’re hungry.” Reiner turns to smile at Bertholdt before taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. Ymir smirks as they pass.

“Yeah, Reiner’s hungry alright but definitely not for pizza.” He pretends not to hear her comment as he grabs two paper plates from the cabinet. He gives Bertholdt an apologetic look as he hands him a slice before taking his own. Bertholdt's embarrassment subsides as they lean against the counter and eat their pizza quietly. Reiner smiles warmly at him before shifting closer.

“I hope that getting caught isn’t a reoccurring theme for us.” Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“Yeah, but in her defense, we _were_ kind of right out in the open.” Reiner shrugs because he has no shame. Bertholdt eats his first slice before reaching for a second. Reiner cleans up the kitchen after finishing up and heads back to the living room, stopping in the doorway as he finds Krista and Ymir already asleep on the couch. He turns to look at Bertholdt as he swallows his last bite of pizza.

“Ready for bed? Looks like everyone's already turned in for the night.” Bertholdt nods as he throws out his paper plate before following Reiner to what he’s assuming is the guest room. He closes the door behind the two of them as Reiner crosses the room to switch on the lamp on the nightstand. He slowly approaches the blond, becoming slightly more confident in his still buzzed state. The other man turns to the dresser, digging through as Bertholdt approaches.

The taller man cups Reiner’s elbow and gently turns him to face him. “Hey…” He leans down to kiss him softly. When he pulls back, Reiner is smiling.

“Hi there.”

“Thanks for convincing me to come out tonight…it’s been fun.” Reiner slides an arm around his boyfriend, locking him into an embrace.

“Anytime, baby.” Bertholdt blushes and looks away.

“Anyway…I was wondering…” He clears his throat awkwardly before sliding a hand along Reiner's back. “…since…since umm. Since we were interrupted so abruptly earlier…I was wondering if you maybe, _possibly_ would like to continue?” He averts his eyes as Reiner's hand trails down to hold Bertholdt's.

“That sounds nice.” He chuckles softly before leaning in to press a soft kiss to the taller man's jaw. “At least we'll have some privacy this time.” He plants a second kiss and a third before trailing them down to Bertholdt's neck. Bert rests his arms on Reiner’s shoulders, sighing softly as the other man walks him backward. He feels the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed and slides his hands down to rest softly on Reiner’s hips as he sits. Reiner slowly climbs into his lap before placing a hand on his boyfriend's chest, pressing him back slowly before sitting up to straddle him.

“This okay?” Bertholdt looks at the man above him and he swears this is the best Reiner has ever looked. _This is more than okay_. He nods, followed by a soft “oh yeah” as a grin spreads across Reiner’s face. “Good.” Reiner hums as he leans down, planting a soft kiss on Bert's lips.

It doesn’t take long for them to get back to where they had left off, only with Reiner on top this time instead of Bert. Bertholdt has been gripping Reiner's hips firmly, grinding against him as they meet halfway, somehow trying to hint that he wants more. A particularly hard roll of Reiner’s hips elicits a loud groan from the taller man, causing him to freeze. He sits up on his elbows, taking a moment to listen for any movement that may be coming from the other side of the door. None. He feels Reiner push him back before leaning close to press kisses against his neck. “Don’t worry. The walls are thick. If we can’t hear them fooling around, then they can’t hear us.” Bertholdt nods before nervously eyeing the door for a second time.

“But in that scenario, they would already have to be fooling around…” Reiner chuckles before planting another soft kiss to the column of the other man's neck before speaking against it.

“They’re always fooling around. Literally like, 8 hours a day. It’s like a job for them. They can’t hear us, I promise.” He smiles as he sits back up before rolling his hips in slow circles. “Wanna keep going?” Bertholdt nods as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and Reiner stills once more. “Bertl, I’m not too big on non-verbals. Especially not when drinking has been involved so I’m going to need a firm 'yes' before I continue.”

Bertholdt smiles before sitting up to kiss Reiner's cheek. “Yes, I would like to keep going.” Reiner resumes his motions, leaning closer so he can speak into Bert’s ear.

“Do you just wanna do this or do you…umm...want more?” He grins, punctuating his sentence with a harder roll. Bertholdt groans as he slides a hand down from the blond’s hip to his ass, groping gently.

“More, p-please…” He tips his head back and his eyes flutter shut as he feels something grip his cock through his jeans. Reiner is touching him and not just with a (maybe not so accidental) knee or thigh but with a hand. He feels the other man trail a finger from tip to base, attempting to become familiar with him. Bertholdt speaks breathlessly. “Does that answer your question from earlier?” Reiner nods before taking a moment to stare at the outline through Bertholdt's jeans.

“Mhm…big.” Reiner grins and licks his lips, causing Bertholdt to blush with a soft groan. He’s heard that before from within the comments on his shows but he had just figured the audience only said that to get him worked up. He never really believed it but now that it’s coming from Reiner, it’s doing all kinds of things to him. Reiner leans down to kiss him slowly as he continues to rub his cock. Bertholdt attempts to speak against his lips.

“Can I?” He rubs at Reiner’s hip, trying to get his point across. Reiner mumbles a soft “yeah” against his boyfriend’s lips before continuing the kiss as he slides his unoccupied hand up the other man's shirt. Bertholdt hesitantly rolls his hips into the touch as he moves his shaky hand down to rest just above Reiner's waistband. Reiner sits up and removes his hand from Bertholdt’s shirt as he feels him tremble. He gently places his own hand over the one that’s touching him.

“Bertl…are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah, I-I want to…just nervous.” He laughs nervously before averting his eyes. “It’s just been a while.” Reiner nods before rubbing his thumb over the back of Bertholdt’s hand reassuringly. _Been a while since I’ve been with you_ _like this; nearly an eternity_. He takes a shaky breath before sinking back into the mattress. He could never say something like that to Reiner, he wouldn't understand. Well, not at the moment anyway.

“Take all the time you need.” Bertholdt nods before sliding his hand beneath the hem of Reiner's shirt, rubbing it over his abdomen before looking up to meet his eyes.

“Can I take this off?” Reiner grins.

“Of course, I can’t believe I've still got it on.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly as he lifts Reiner’s shirt over his head before leaning back to admire his boyfriend. He’s seen Reiner shirtless countless times before but for some reason, this time is different. His body is perfect, always has been, and it takes Bertholdt's breath away. He calms down as he starts to let his hands roam over Reiner's body and slides his hand back down to the waistband of his boyfriend's pants, toying with the button.

“Can I take these off too?”

Reiner reaches a hand down to start undoing the fly of his own pants. “Only if you strip down too…don't really wanna be the only one in my undies.” He chuckles somewhat nervously as he meets Bertholdt's gaze before becoming a little more serious. “You…you don’t have to though…if you don’t want to.” Bertholdt steadies Reiner as he sits up with a smile, ensuring that he doesn’t fall out of his lap as he pulls his own shirt over his head. He pats Reiner’s hip, motioning for him to stand as he starts to shimmy out of his pants. Reiner slides his own off as he stands before looking up at Bertholdt with a snort. “When did you start wearing briefs?”

“What? They’re comfortable.” Bertholdt eyes Reiner's black boxer briefs before scoffing. “Yours are the same thing but with legs!” Reiner grins as he climbs back into Bertholdt's lap.

“Alright, guess you got me…” He grins wide before leaning in to press a sloppy kiss to the taller man's lips. It doesn’t take long for them to fall into a comfortable rhythm and it isn’t long until Reiner feels a hand on his cock. His breath hitches as Bertholdt grasps him with a firm hand. The brunet gives a few slow strokes before furrowing his brow in confusion. Something doesn’t feel quite right. He feels Reiner grin against his lips before pulling back as he tries to figure out exactly what's going on down there.

Bertholdt toys with each of the five bars lining the underside of Reiner's shaft before looking up at him with wide eyes. “Are these what I think they are?” Reiner is grinning down at him proudly.

“Maybe.” Bertholdt just stares at him as he feels around and Reiner starts to become slightly self conscious. “But…if you don’t like them, I can take them out.” Bertholdt rests his empty hand on Reiner's reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, I like them…just unexpected.” Bertholdt starts to give long, slow strokes, his eyes moving down to admire the outline through Reiner’s underwear. “How long have you had them?” Reiner groans as he presses into the touch, reaching back down to return his hand to Bertholdt's cock.

“They were kind of a first act of rebellion…a few days after I turned eighteen. So a little over a year.”

“Wow…uhh…that’s quite an intense way to start off.” Reiner grins wide.

“Yeah well, go big or go home.” Reiner gives a shaky sigh as Bertholdt squeezes him once more. He hesitates before making eye contact with the taller man. “Wanna see...?”

Bertholdt nods enthusiastically. “Yes, please. If you’re comfortable with it.” Bertholdt moves his hand away and Reiner groans at the loss before sliding his hand into the opening of his underwear and tugging out his cock. Bertholdt pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he stares.

“Oh…wow.” Reiner shies away slightly, moving to tuck himself away when Bertholdt's hand stops him. “You’re gorgeous, Reiner…” Reiner starts to tug at the opening of Bertholdt's briefs, a bright blush spreading down his chest.

“Am I, though? Really?” Reiner has a confident personality  but he's never really been good at taking a compliment. Bert nods as he lifts his hips, giving Reiner easier access. Reiner pulls Bertholdt from his underwear and stares with a blush before whistling.

“Oh my God, Reiner.” Bertholdt covers his face with an embarrassed groan.

“What, you’re allowed to praise me but I can’t praise you?” He grins wide as he ghosts a fingertip along the underside of Bertholdt’s cock, causing it to twitch.

“No, it’s not that…It’s just, I don’t know…embarrassing? I guess.” They continue to stroke each other lazily as they converse.

“But you do those shows still, right? Aren’t they full of people praising your body?”

“Yeah but it isn’t the same…they’re strangers and I can’t even see them and they aren’t…they aren’t _you_ , Reiner.” Reiner scoots closer, pushing himself further into Bertholdt's hand.

“I’m special?” He grins down at the taller man. Bertholdt glances away as a few more intimate memories from his past life fade into view. He looks back up to meet Reiner's gaze.

“Yes, very.” They silently stare at each other as the tension between them thickens. Reiner is visibly taken aback for a moment before regaining composure and leaning down to pull the other man into a sudden kiss. He slips his tongue past Bertholdt's lips as he tightens his hand around the other man's cock, stroking it with purpose now. Bertholdt groans into the kiss before applying more pressure to Reiner's dick, pumping his hand at a slightly quicker pace.

Reiner pulls back, resting his forehead on Bertholdt’s as he pants softly. He swipes his thumb through the slit of the taller man's cock, collecting the precum that had been gathering there on his thumb. The spot is sensitive and the motion causes Bertholdt to arch slightly with a whine. He quickly covers his mouth with his free hand after the sound escapes. Reiner tugs the hand away to replace it with his mouth as he quickens his pace. He chokes on a moan as he feels the taller man squeeze his cock firmly.

Bertholdt toys with Reiner's piercings, rolling his thumb over them before tugging each one gently. Reiner groans as he sits up straight, pulling his lip between his teeth as he looks at the man below him. “God, Bertl…” Reiner gently knocks Bertholdt's hand out of the way before scooting up to line his cock against the other man's and holding them together with a loose grip. He strokes slowly at first, smirking as a groan escapes from Bertholdt's lips.

Bertholdt lays a hand over Reiner's, moving it with his before stopping for a moment and leaning his back against the headboard to sit up straight. Reiner repositions himself to sit comfortably in Bertholdt's lap, smiling as he slides an arm around the other man's neck and kisses him softly. He pulls back and looks into the taller man's emerald eyes. There's an odd sense of familiarity surrounding their situation and Reiner's heart skips a beat. He looks away quickly before reaching back down to take both cocks into his hand.

He holds his hand there, just staring with an odd look on his face. He still can’t shake the unsettling feeling from earlier. _What was that?_ He's pulled out of his trance when Bertholdt's hand wraps around his own. “Everything alright?” Reiner nods slowly as he looks up to meet the other man's eyes.

He clears his throat nervously. “Yeah, sorry. Just…admiring.” Bertholdt smiles with a nod but can still sense that something is off.

“Wanna keep going?” Reiner nods in response.

“Yeah, just…just got a little distracted is all.” He smiles at the other man before shifting closer to catch his lips on his own. He resumes their activities with a slow roll of his wrist, gradually working back up to the rhythm they had fallen into before. Bertholdt groans as he feels the hard press of metal against the underside of his cock with each stroke. His breathing quickens as he feels an all-too-familiar feeling start to rear its head. His stomach clenches as he begins to rut into the blond’s touch. 

“Fuck…Reiner, I-I'm really close.” It hadn't taken long to get him to this point and Bert is slightly embarrassed by it. Reiner groans as he drops his head to rest on Bertholdt's shoulder.

“Y-yeah, same.” Reiner tightens his grip and quickens his pace, both men now grinding into the touch. Bertholdt cums first, jaw hanging slack as he coats both cocks as well as Reiner's hand. “Shit…Bertl…” Reiner groans as he watches, hand still pumping lazily, the byproduct of Bertholdt's orgasm slicking him up. Reiner follows soon after, rutting into his own hand and catching most of his release in his free hand as not to make an even bigger mess.

They sit with their foreheads pressed together, panting heavily. Reiner feels at peace for the first time in a while. Once the after effects of his orgasm wear off, he remembers the mess quickly growing cold in his hand and grimaces. “M’gonna go clean up…if you want to join me…” Bertholdt sighs sleepily before nodding, sliding his legs off of the edge of the bed after Reiner slips out of his lap. Reiner pads over to the door, opening it with his clean hand before peeking out. “Looks like everyone’s in bed. The coast is clear.”

Bertholdt follows Reiner closely as he darts from the bedroom to the bathroom down the hall. He closes the door behind them quietly before turning to face Reiner with a smile. The blonde has already rid himself of his underwear and is now rinsing his hands in the sink. Bertholdt stands awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Reiner glances at him through the mirror. “You can go ahead and start the shower if you want.”

Bertholdt nods before stepping towards the rather spacious shower. He bends to inspect the faucet, trying to figure out how to adjust the temperature. He fiddles with it for a bit until the water is just about perfect and steps out of his briefs before cautiously stepping into the shower. He allows the warm water to run over him as he washes up quietly. Reiner steps in behind him and Bertholdt shifts aside to let the other man wash himself up. Reiner's been pretty quiet since they'd finished their business in the bedroom and it’s been making Bertholdt nervous even though he knows it’s probably just because they’re both tired.

Reiner rinses himself off before stepping aside to allow Bertholdt to do the same, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips as the taller man passes. He steps out of the shower and grabs a towel, patting himself dry as he waits for Bertholdt to finish up. He turns to hand the taller man a towel once he hears the water being shut off. Bertholdt dries off before wrapping the towel around his waist and turning to find Reiner peeking through the slightly cracked door, his own towel already wrapped around him. “Just checking to make sure we're still good…let’s go.”

Reiner nods down the hall and Bertholdt collects their underwear from the floor before turning off the light as he tiptoes behind Reiner. They’re almost all the way into the room when the door adjacent to theirs begins to slowly creak open. Bertholdt all but shoves Reiner into their room before closing the door quickly and gently. The last thing he wants is an awkward and nearly-naked confrontation with one of the girls. Reiner chuckles softly as he steadies himself.

“It was close but we made it.” Bertholdt smiles in response before shivering slightly, removing his towel from around his waist to wrap it around his shoulders instead.

“Oh yeah, give me a sec.” Reiner turns to the dresser to fish through the drawers, pulling out a garment or two before holding each up to inspect it. He rolls the clothing he had been searching for into a neat ball before tossing it to Bertholdt. The taller man fumbles slightly, causing the ball to unravel. The clothes he had just been tossed end up on the floor and he bends over to pick them up, inspecting them before eyeing Reiner skeptically. “Don’t worry, they’re mine and they’re clean. The shirt's a little big on me so I think it should fit you fine and I don’t think you’ll have any problems with that pair of boxers but the pants will probably be a little short on you.”

Bertholdt nods before tugging the towel around himself further, preparing himself for total exposure to the cold room. He takes a deep breath before dropping the towel and quickly slipping into the clothes that Reiner has provided for him. Reiner was right, the pants were definitely short on him and although he said the shirt was big on him, it was still a little short on Bertholdt.

After clothing himself fully, Reiner turns to look a Bertholdt with a snort. “Dude, where do you even find your clothes? It’s a pain to find somewhere that even sells _my_ size.”

Bertholdt laughs before humming as he pads over to the bed. “Big and talls. Only all the way over on the ‘talls’ side.” He pulls the comforter back, turning off the lamp before climbing into the bed. It’s definitely more comfortable than the beds back at their dorm (not surprising in the least) and Bertholdt is pleased to find that there’s still extra room between him and the edge of the bed even after Reiner has slipped in behind him.

He soon feels an arm slip around his waist and is quickly lulled to sleep by the quiet rhythm of Reiner's breathing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath and a much-needed confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm going to do my best to keep the current schedule going but I've just started working again on top of going to Uni so I'm not sure how possible that's going to be. :/  
> I'm sure there'll rarely ever be a delay but I'll be sure to give prior notice.

When Reiner wakes up he's surprisingly still in the bed and even more surprisingly, so is Bertholdt. He’s still sleeping peacefully beside Reiner. The blond sits up and stretches before gently sliding his hand across Bertholdt’s forehead, pushing the hair from his face. The strange feeling from the night before returns and Reiner quickly moves his hand away. He isn’t sure why he’s been having such a strong sense of déjà vu lately but it’s starting to make him feel a little uneasy. Reiner stretches his legs out one last time before quietly slipping out of bed, careful not to wake the man sleeping soundly next to him.

He can hear Ymir and Krista chatting in the kitchen and decides he should do a little damage control before waking Bertholdt. Reiner yawns as he heads to the bathroom to relieve himself. He washes his hands once he's finished and takes a moment to fix his hair before making his way to the kitchen. He finds Ymir in front of the stove, cooking breakfast as she converses with Krista who is sitting on a stool at the island.

Ymir grins wide when she hears the floor creak as he enters. “Mornin’, stud.” Reiner is silent as he takes a seat next to Krista. She flips the pancake she had been cooking before turning to smirk at him. “Something tells me you got laid last night.”  Reiner silently stares at the counter while he decides whether he's going to lie or not. He figures he’s been quiet for a little too long when he feels a small foot tap his own. He looks up at Krista to find her looking back at him expectantly, no doubt wanting to hear the details as well. Not many people would expect her to be such a gossip due to her cute looks and polite nature be she could be even worse than Ymir most of the time.

Reiner twiddles his thumbs awkwardly before looking up to meet Ymir's gaze. “Well, kinda…I guess.” She gives a long whistle before turning to continue cooking. “Don’t get too excited, no 'big stuff' happened. Y'know, just fooling around.” Ymir hums as she plates up a couple pancakes and hands them to Krista before turning back to start cooking some more.

“This is serious, right? You aren’t just fucking around like you did with those other guys, are you? Because I can tell that Bertholdt cares about you too much for you to do that shit to him.” Reiner's brow furrows and he scoffs as he sits up fully.

“Of course it’s serious. I’m not this shitty person you’re making me out to be. You know I've changed.” Ymir rolls her eyes as Reiner clasps his hands before frowning slightly in confusion. “How would you even know how much he 'cares' if the first time you’ve seen him since middle school was last night? Not to mention, the only time you even talked to each other was to poke fun at me.” Ymir sighs as she hands him a plate full of breakfast before shooting Krista a knowing look.

“Intuition.” Reiner rolls his eyes at her reply before beginning to eat.

“Ahh yes, of course. That’s what it always is every time you say something you don’t want to explain. _Intuition_ , right.” Ymir sighs before turning to look at him once more, pointing the spatula at him dramatically.

“Shush. Have I ever been wrong about something anytime I’ve ever chalked it up to 'intuition'?” Reiner sighs before hanging his head as he eats.

“No…”

“Then please stop complaining. I just know, okay?” She smirks slyly as she lowers the spatula. “What do they call me?” Reiner mumbles something inaudible around a bite of pancake. Ymir cups her ear with her free hand. “I’m sorry, what was that?” Reiner rolls his eyes before swallowing.

“The all-knowing Ymir…” He takes another bite as he speaks. “Damn, such a drama queen.” Ymir looks to Krista with a grin before returning her attention back to Reiner.

“Nah, Krista's the queen. I’m a drama _goddess_.” Krista chokes on the food in her mouth before shooting Ymir a piercing glare, letting her know that she may have crossed the line just a bit. “Anyway, you should go wake beanpole up for breakfast. He'll probably be pretty hungover since he apparently can’t hold his liquor so you might also wanna prepare for that.” Reiner nods as he finishes up and stands.

“Alright, I’ll go get him but you have to promise me that you won’t bring up anything that may or may not have happened last night. I’m sure that you’re _intuitive_ enough to know that it makes him uncomfortable.” Reiner scoffs as he stands and sets his plate in the sink.

“No need to worry my friend, we've got some business to attend to. We'll be heading out in a few minutes. You know I don’t care what you do while we're gone just please, _please_ clean up after yourselves.” Ymir smiles sweetly and Reiner mumbles a “yeah, yeah” as he shuffles down the hall. He opens the bedroom door quietly before walking over to the edge of the bed. Reiner gently slides a hand against Bertholdt's cheek, cupping it softly as the other man begins to stir.

“Baby, get up. We've got breakfast out here.” Bertholdt grumbles in response before rolling to face away from Reiner. The blond pouts before shaking his boyfriend gently. “C’mon, Ymir made pancakes.” Bertholdt waves his hand around weakly before curling further into his pillow.

“Nnh…headache.” Reiner chuckles before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, that tends to happen when you drink a little too much.” He pats the other man's legs softly. “Come on, get up and I’ll help you out with it.” Bertholdt holds his head as he sits up groggily. He peeks an eye open before looking around the room with a confused look on his face.

“Wait…I’m still in the bed.” Reiner grins as he helps Bertholdt up.

“Yeah, I know. I was surprised too. I think we're both just too big to fit in a twin together, especially with your sleep habits.” He follows behind the taller man as he shuffles out of the room. Bertholdt walks down the hall, squinting as the light from the kitchen comes into view. Reiner stops in the bathroom to grab the bottle of ibuprofen before returning to meet Bertholdt in the kitchen. He’s sitting quietly next to Krista, looking pretty nervous. Bertholdt smiles awkwardly as Ymir slides him a plate of pancakes. She eyes his tight clothes oddly but already knows not to ask.

Ymir turns the stove off before removing the pan from the burner to let it cool. Reiner crosses the room to pour Bertholdt a glass of water as Ymir repeats their plans for the day to Bertholdt… “We’re heading out for a bit, not sure when we'll be back. I don’t mind how long you guys stay, just clean up after yourselves. Connie and Sasha have already left so you don’t have to worry about feeding them today.” She chuckles softly before grabbing her wallet and keys from the counter. She follows Krista to the door, turning to wave at Reiner and Bertholdt before heading out behind her girlfriend.

Bertholdt takes the ibuprofen before eating silently, making sure to take large sips of water between bites. He finishes quickly and sighs with relief as he lies his head on the cool counter. Reiner collects his plate and starts in on the dishes. “So, what’s on the agenda today? If you don’t have anything particular in mind we could…oooooh, I don’t know…make out and watch scary movies?” Bertholdt groans before lifting his head slowly.

“As much as I'd like to take you up on that offer, it might have to wait for later. I promised Annie I would have a proper conversation with her once I’d sobered up.” Reiner nods as he continues washing the dishes. He isn’t normally this quiet so it’s pretty easy for Bertholdt to tell that something’s up. “That’s all it is though, I promise. Our friendship has been kinda rocky lately and I want to fix it. We haven't been umm...intimate..in months. I promise." Reiner sighs as he drops the pan he had been cleaning back in the water. He dries his hands off with a hand towel before turning to look at Bertholdt.

“Bertl…I know that’s all it is, I trust you. I don’t…I don’t want you to think that I don’t, okay?” Bertholdt nods and smiles as Reiner runs his slightly damp hand against the back of Bertholdt's dry one. Reiner flips Bertholdt's hand before running his fingertips along his soft palm. Reiner slides his hand away slowly and turns away as an uncomfortable pressure begins to build in his head. He usually never gets hungover and it seems a little late for that anyway so he just chalks it up to the weather changing and his sinuses.

Reiner hums as he continues washing the dishes, stopping to glance over at the island once he hears Bertholdt get up. “It’s going on noon. I’m going to go ahead and get dressed.” Reiner glances at the clock as he starts to dry the dishes.

“Hmm, later than I realized. Alright, I’ll be back there in a second.” Bertholdt makes his way back to the room before realizing the only clothes he has are his dirty ones from the night before. He looks at himself in the full-length mirror hanging on the back of the door and chuckles at the sight of Reiner's clothing hugging his body. He decides that wearing his clothes from yesterday is the best option. He’s just pulled his jeans on when Reiner enters the room.

“Hmm…crop top. Good look for you.” Reiner grins wide before holding his arms up to shield himself as Bertholdt playfully swats him with a sock. The taller man tugs the shirt over his head and throws it at Reiner, sticking his tongue out before pulling his own shirt over his head. Bertholdt yawns as he stretches before sitting on the edge of the bed to pull his socks over his feet.

“Could you just drop me off at Annie's on the way back to campus? I’ll find a way back, don’t really wanna inconvenience you _too_ much.” Reiner huffs softly as he changes his shirt before turning to look at Bertholdt.

“It won’t be an inconvenience if I need to come get you. I care about you, okay? If you need a ride back to the dorm, text me and I’ll be there.” Bertholdt smiles when he feels the mattress dip beside him as Reiner sits next to him. He wonders if Reiner cares about him because he's grown to or if remnants of his past life have been shining through. Bertholdt almost hopes for the latter. He doesn’t think he'll be able to properly help Reiner through his memories when he hasn’t even sorted out his own. Bertholdt hopes Annie can give him some answers later.

Bertholdt realizes he's been spacing out when he feels Reiner's hand cover his own. He smiles at him and Bertholdt smiles back until he catches Reiner's brow begin to furrow. “What’s up?” Reiner shakes his head before pulling his hand away.

“Nothing, nothing.  Just a headache.” He feigns a smile but Bertholdt can tell that it’s forced. The taller man scoots closer, a worried look on his face.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” Reiner nods before returning his hand to the palm of Bertholdt's, attempting to calm him.

“I’m sure.” Reiner stares at their hands as their fingers interlock before sighing softly. “Every time I hold your hand; I feel like I’ve held it a million times before…” Reiner smiles slightly before squeezing Bertholdt’s hand. Bertholdt's heart drops. Maybe Reiner's memories really are filtering through. Bert looks up to meet Reiner's gaze, green eyes frantically searching gold. “Ahh, sorry. Cheesy, I know.” Reiner chuckles before removing his hand and Bertholdt sighs softly with relief. The blonde stands and Bertholdt is quick to follow.

He watches Reiner as he cleans up the room before looking around for something to do. His eyes fall on the bed. “Does Ymir want the sheets washed?” Reiner hums as he picks up the last few articles of clothing from the floor and stuffs them in his bag.

“Yeah but she's picky about the way it’s done. Just go ahead and make the bed and she'll wash them later.” Bertholdt nods before turning to make up the bed, turning back when he’s finished to find Reiner waiting on him. “Ready?”

Bertholdt smiles at him sweetly. “Yeah…did you get everything?”

“I think so, but you might want to double check for anything I may have missed.” Bertholdt turns as he looks over the room before quickly checking under the bed. He nods with a sweet smile before stepping towards the door.

“Yep, looks like everything.” Reiner returns the smile as he leads Bertholdt through the house, locking the door behind him before heading out to the truck. Reiner climbs in the driver's seat shortly after Bertholdt gets in on the passenger side and hands him the bag containing their items after he’s gotten his seatbelt on. Bertholdt positions the bag neatly on his lap before pulling out his phone to text Annie. He lets her know that he'll be there in ten before pocketing it once more and situating himself comfortably.

He leans his head back and enjoys the ride. Reiner's been talking about how excited he is for the robotics club to finish their robot. From what Bertholdt understands, they’ve just got a little bit of programming left and more than a lot of testing to conduct before it’s entirely finished. It makes him feel warm to see Reiner so passionate about a subject.

Bertholdt knows they’ve arrived at Annie’s when he hears the crunch of gravel beneath the truck's tires. He’d been so distracted by Reiner that he hadn’t realized how close they had gotten and now he’s reluctant to leave the blonde. Reiner parks and Bertholdt sets the bag on the floor before leaning over to press a quick kiss to Reiner's lips. “See you in a bit...?”

Reiner smiles as he nods. “Yeah, I’ll be back at the dorm. Let me know if you need a ride back.” Bertholdt returns the smile as he steps out of the truck, reluctant to leave Reiner's presence. He walks up the steps to the front door, turning to wave at Reiner before opening the door and stepping inside. He closes the door behind him and slips his shoes off before finally looking up. The living room had been quiet but he can now see that it is less than empty. There are five pairs of eyes staring back at him. He immediately feels nervous and his chest begins to tighten. _Oh, no…what have I gotten myself into_?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt is involved in a much-needed conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an absolute SLUT for feedback because I'm trying to improve my writing. I don't mind if it's good or bad, I just like to hear how you guys are liking (or not liking) the fic so please pleeeease feel free to let me know! :)

Bertholdt takes a shaky breath as he leans against the door. “H-hey…everyone.” Annie hadn’t mentioned that there would be more people than just her here. Armin is on the couch, sandwiched between Annie and Connie while Ymir and Krista lounge on the floor across from them. Ymir pats the floor next to her with a grin.

“Come, sit.” Bertholdt nervously tugs at the hem of his shirt as he shuffles over and takes a seat beside Ymir. The room is silent as Bertholdt’s eyes dart around, attempting to read each person there. He becomes increasingly nervous as the silence drags on way longer than it already should have. Connie looks to the two blondes beside him and clears his throat before speaking up.

“Will one of you two 'masterminds' say something to the poor kid? He’s freaking out here…” Annie hums before clasping her hands together.

“Alright, Bertholdt. Welcome to the club. Sorry for acting so ominous lately, it was kinda due to this.” She gestures to the room, or rather the people, surrounding them. Bertholdt shifts nervously.

“So uhh…y-you all know?” he looks around the room to receive several nods before taking a shaky breath. “I-I’m sorry guys, I’m really sorry. That’s not who I am, who we are, and I just-” Armin cuts him off.

“Don’t worry about it, Bertholdt. We know. The first rule of our little club here is 'No hard feelings, no matter what happened in our past lives.’.” He smiles sweetly at Bertholdt who quickly looks away as he nods. Annie leans over to whisper something into Armin's ear and he nods in agreement before standing. “Uhh, Bertholdt? Would you mind switching me places?” Bertholdt musters up a smile before quickly moving to sit beside Annie. She hopes being next to her will make him feel more comfortable.

Bertholdt settles into the couch as Annie leans a little closer. She turns to him, seemingly addressing him personally. “Each person is going to tell you how we 'awakened' our memories and then we'll go over our thoughts and theories and anything we've learned so far. You're free to share if you’d like but I know how nervous you can get so you’re not obligated to. Just sit back and listen for now, yeah?” Bertholdt whispers a soft “yeah” as he faintly smiles at Annie. She decides to tell her story first.

“Mine happened over the summer. I’m not sure if you remember but I was mugged on the way back from the convenience store around the block one night.” Bertholdt remembers. She was pretty shaken up. She stayed away from people for a while, hadn’t cut him off completely but now that he thinks back on it, he hadn’t seen her much around that time either. “Guy ended up pretty beat up but his buddy still got away with my shit before I could make my way over to him. Nothing better than getting home after having your credit card stolen only to be thrown into a traumatizing episode. It was bad for a while and I didn’t leave the house often. I thought I had been going crazy until I ran into Armin on the street one day on my way to the store and something just _clicked_.” Armin hums as he picks at the carpet.

“Yeah, my memories came back around the time that my grandfather passed. I’d also thought that I was losing my mind until I had seen Annie. Something in her eyes just told me that she was going through the same thing. That she understood. We shared our concerns over some coffee and sure enough, everything added up. Since then, we've been trying to help everyone out as they come around.” Armin finishes and Bertholdt looks to Connie expectantly.

Connie has become distracted and Armin reaches his foot across the space to the couch to tap him. “Huh, what? Oh, me?” Armin nods, prompting Connie to continue.  “Not much to it really, mom got sick and dad didn’t want to deal with it. He left and money got kind of tight. Had a nervous breakdown and soon after, my memories came back. Sasha told Annie I was acting funny and she confronted me about it.” Bertholdt turns his attention from Connie to the two girls on the floor. Krista pipes up first.

“My parents kicked me out.” She turns to Ymir and Ymir looks up to lock eyes with Bertholdt.

“After Krista’s parents kicked her out she started living with me. After a few weeks, my memories came back too.” It’s silent for a moment and all eyes are on Bertholdt. Armin speaks up and Bertholdt turns his attention to him.

“It’s completely fine if you don’t want to share but I’m guessing you’ve noticed a common factor?” Bert nods as he compares each story alongside his own.

“Stress.”

“Precisely. If you don’t mind me asking, did a stressful situation also trigger your memories?” Bertholdt blushes softly as he thinks back to the events prior to awakening his memories; Reiner walking in on him and the embarrassing conversation following a few nights after paired with the stress of midterms must have contributed somehow.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Armin nods as he looks at Annie.

“Alright, Annie. Looks like we're five for six on stress being a common factor. It seems that it could be easier for the memories to be awakened when the mind is vulnerable. We've also discovered that it doesn’t always instantly occur after a high-stress situation. So other factors may be involved.” Annie hums as she scribbles some notes in a notepad she had picked up from the side table during Bertholdt and Armin's conversation. Bertholdt thinks for a moment before turning his attention back to Armin.

“Ymir said she awakened her memories after living with Krista for a while…Do you have any idea why? Could it have possibly been a proximity thing?” Armin stretches his legs out before clasping his hands together and watching his own thumbs as he twiddles them.

“We were thinking it could've been but Connie and Sasha live together and I'm around Eren and Mikasa enough that we practically live together but none of them have even shown the slightest sign.” The blond thinks for a moment more. “You and Reiner are roommates, yeah?” Bertholdt nods in response. “Could you let me know how he’s doing? We’ve been trying to keep track of everyone so we can help them through it when it happens. I only see him at the robotics club and I’m afraid that doesn’t give me enough time to properly analyze his emotions. You of all people know how good he is at hiding them.”

Bertholdt noticeably stiffens. He doesn’t want to think about how Reiner tore himself apart. Ymir punches the side of Armin's leg lightly and he notices he may have overstepped a boundary. He speaks quietly. “Mhh…sorry.” He pauses for a second before giving Bertholdt a curious look. “How _has_ he been? Anything weird happen lately?” Bert thinks for a moment before rubbing his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“Well, not really but…kinda? He'll just give me funny looks sometimes and he said something _kind of_ weird this morning but I really wouldn’t worry about it.” Armin looks at him expectantly and Bertholdt realizes he's waiting for him to tell him what Reiner had said. Bertholdt worries at the hem of his shirt before shooting Annie a look. He fidgets nervously before leaning over to quickly whisper something in her ear. She grins wide as he finishes whispering.

Bertholdt blushes brightly as Annie begins to speak. “Reiner said that every time he holds Bertholdt’s hand, he feels like it’s the millionth time.” Connie chuckles softly.

“God, Reiner is such a cheese ball.” Ymir grins as she looks to Connie.

“You’re just now figuring this out? I think it should’ve been more than obvious considering he learned from the best.” Ymir grins proudly as she puffs out her chest. Their bantering dies down a bit and everyone turns their attention back to Armin as he speaks.

“You’re right, that’s kind of weird. However, Connie has a point. Reiner _can_ be pretty cheesy. Just keep an eye out for anything definitely weird.” Bertholdt nods as the blush begins to fade from his cheeks. Once he calms down, he looks around the room solemnly.

“Who all knows?” Krista hums softly as she turns her attention to the tall man on the couch.

“As far as we know, just us. But like Armin said, we’ve been trying to keep tabs on everyone. Connie sees Jean and Marco at work most of the time and I’ve been taking piano lessons from Levi. Annie was keeping an eye on you and Ymir on Reiner but since you’ve come to, I think you could do a better job than she had been doing.” Krista giggles softly as Ymir nudges her playfully. “Lately we’ve been trying to get in touch with most of the veterans. We figured they would already know since there’s quite the age gap between us but it seems that isn’t the case since Levi still seems pretty normal.” She pauses to take a drink. “Armin says Hange works in the science department at the University but he hasn’t had a chance to confront her. As for the others, we really have no clue where they’re at or what they’re doing.” She pauses once more and Armin picks up where she left off.

“I was hoping that once I get in touch with Hange, she would know the whereabouts of the others since it seems that we all tend to gravitate towards each other anyway, no matter the timeline.” Bertholdt hums softly, shifting uncomfortably as his phone buzzes in his pocket. The others continue talking to each other. Bert listens absently as he feels his phone buzz against his leg once more. He slides his phone from his pocket and unlocks it to find four missed texts from Reiner.

“Reiner<3: What time do you think you’ll be back?” Bertholdt checks the time stamp. 12:54. It seems Reiner sent the first text not long after he had dropped him off. Bertholdt checks the current time. Quarter til' 3. _Shit_. He hadn’t realized how long he’d actually been here.

“Reiner<3: Bertl…?” _1:32 pm_

“Reiner<3: You must be busy, just wanted to let you know I might not be able to pick you up” _2:40 pm_

“Reiner<3: Sorry to bother you again babe, at the store, won’t be able to pick you up until later” _2:43 pm_

Bertholdt nudges Annie’s leg gently before tilting his phone toward her to allow her to read the messages. She nods slightly, the faintest smile crossing her lips. “Don’t worry, I can take you back. Were you wanting to leave soon?” Bertholdt types a quick reply to let Reiner know that he has a ride and will be home soon before returning his attention to Annie.

“Mhh, yeah. I should probably be getting back.” He stands slowly before heading to the door to slide his shoes on. Annie follows suit.

“I’m going to run Bert home really quick.” She squints and points around the room, specifically at Ymir and Krista. “Behave while I’m gone.” Armin stands and meets Bertholdt’s eyes as he makes his way to take his spot back on the couch.

“Ahh, Bertholdt. One more thing. We one hundred percent absolutely _do not_ do anything that could potentially trigger someone's memories. It’s kind of common sense that you shouldn’t knowingly throw someone into a traumatic episode but we tell everyone anyway just in case.” Bertholdt replies with a soft “Yes, alright.” before smiling and waving to the others in the room as he exits.

On the way home, Bertholdt and Annie chat comfortably about what has happened since they had last seen each other on good terms. He's thankful that she hasn’t brought up the events from the night before. Bertholdt makes sure to apologize for being angry at her and then avoiding her for close to a month. Annie assures him that there are no hard feelings and she understands the position he was in. Annie pulls in front of the residence hall shortly and Bertholdt turns to smile at her.

“Thanks for talking some sense into me. And once again, sorry for being an ass.”

“It's fine, it’s the least I could do. I guess I should’ve just told you what was up instead of bringing him over like that. We don’t want anyone bearing any grudges from past lives against each other.” Bertholdt hums softly as he opens the car door and swings his long legs out.

“Understandably so. See you again soon?” Annie smiles back at Bertholdt.

“Yeah, definitely.” Bertholdt hugs her quickly before exiting the car with a wave. He slowly makes his way up the steps to the front door. Reiner had said he was at the store but Bert hopes he’s back by now. He's grinning by the time he reaches the elevator, excited to see Reiner again. The brunet exits the elevator on his floor and swiftly approaches their room. He jiggles their doorknob and frowns. It’s locked. Bertholdt fishes his keys from his back pocket before unlocking the door and stepping inside. He tosses his keys to the spot where his desk should be but instead, they land on the floor.

His brow furrows in confusion as he looks around the room. It’s an absolute mess. His bed is sitting askew in the center of the room and both desks are shoved haphazardly against the wall where his bed once resided. Reiner's bed is still in place. _What on Earth is he doing?_

Bertholdt closes the door behind him before sitting down on his entirely out-of-place bed. He decides that he'll address Reiner about the condition of their room once he gets home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner has a surprise for Bertholdt.

Bertholdt fiddles with his phone for about twenty minutes before growing bored. He sighs before laying back on the bed and continuing to scroll through various feeds of social media that he already must’ve checked at least ten times by now. He stretches and yawns, the evening light shining through the blinds making his eyelids feel heavy. He tries his hardest to stay awake. _Reiner should be home anytime now._ It isn’t long before Bertholdt succumbs to his growing fatigue.

 

* * *

 

Bertholdt wakes up to a calloused hand softly caressing his cheek. It’s dark now, the only source of light shining into the room from the hallway through the open door. Bertholdt sits up slowly to sleepily look up at Reiner. “What’re you doing to our room? You goofball…” Reiner smiles before pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Bert's lips. Bertholdt checks the time on his phone. It’s almost eight.

“Sorry I’m back so late, made a few more stops than I was intending to.” He grins wider. “Did you fall asleep waiting for me?” Bertholdt nods slowly as his eyes adjust, allowing him to see the shopping bags Reiner has left on the floor. “Cute…” Reiner presses another soft kiss to his cheek before pulling back and moving to turn on the light. “Lights.” Bertholdt quickly tucks his face into his sweater before the lights come on, allowing his eyes to readjust before emerging to take a better look at the room. The large bags that he had noticed were scattered around the room earlier are filled with what seem to be household items.

Reiner speaks as he digs through the bags and pulls out a new set of navy blue sheets, throw pillows to match, what seems to be a mattress pad made from memory foam and a few smaller items. “So, since you enjoyed sleeping in Ymir's bed so much and y'know, actually staying in it instead of ending up on the floor…” He pauses to chuckle softly. “I decided to surprise you with a little something once you got home from Annie's.” Reiner stands back to examine the items he had purchased. “But it looks like I was a little too late. So in that case, wanna help?”

Bertholdt slides off of the bed and stretches, his hands almost touching the ceiling as he raises them. “You still haven’t told me _exactly_ what you’re up to…” Reiner grins before lightly resting a hand on Bertholdt's hip, gently shifting him out of the way.

“I’ll show you.” Reiner leans down and places both hands on the edge of Bertholdt’s bed, still askew in the center of the room. He pushes it across the room until the opposite edge is flush with the edge of his bed. The blond stands up straight before motioning to one of the mattresses. “Can you slide one off and just hold onto it for a second?” Bertholdt nods before stepping forward to carefully pull the mattress from the bed frame. He leans it against the wall before turning to watch Reiner.

He's turning the second mattress to lie horizontally on the bedframe. Reiner motions for Bertholdt to put his mattress back down beside the other. “I wanted to turn them so the beds wouldn’t split if one of us were to end up in the middle.” Reiner grins slightly and places his hands on his hips once the mattresses are in place. “How’re you liking it? Good idea?”

Bertholdt smiles at Reiner before standing back to observe their work. “Very good idea…” Reiner hums as he crosses the room to pick up the mattress pad. He unwraps the packaging and tosses it on the floor before rolling the pad out across their makeshift king-sized bed.

“Thought we'd want to make it a little comfier instead of having to continue to sleep on those shitty, flimsy mattresses the university provides.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he reaches for their new bedding.

“Yeah, definitely.” When he lifts the package of bedding, one of the new throw pillows is knocked over to reveal a box of condoms and a bottle of lube. Bertholdt almost squeals as he turns at least three different shades of red. _Oh no, he’s definitely expecting something._ He quickly kicks the imposing items back into their hiding spot beneath the pillows before turning to look at Reiner. The blond is still observing their handiwork. _Thank God he hadn't noticed_. Bertholdt holds the bedding close when Reiner turns to look at him.

“Should we keep it in the corner or move it to the center?” Bertholdt wills his embarrassment not to show.  He's sure that Reiner would've wanted to keep those purchases hidden for the time being, wouldn’t he? Sure, they had been intimate the night before but they hadn’t quite talked about boundaries or anything yet. Bertholdt is pulled out of his thoughts by a soft touch to his forearm. “Bertl…?”

Bertholdt shakes his head before turning his attention back to Reiner. “I’m sorry, what was the question?” Reiner smiles softly, figuring Bertholdt had just gotten lost in his own thoughts as usual.

“Corner or center?” Bertholdt stares at the bed for a second, squinting as he imagines it in a different position.

“Hmm…if we leave it in the corner, it’ll leave more room for our desks on this side of the room.” Bertholdt motions to what used to be his half of the room. “But it’ll be kind of hard for whoever sleeps against the wall to get out of bed without waking the other. We’d have to crawl over each other.”

“Good point…” Reiner thinks for a moment before coming up with another idea. “Ahh! How about…” He trails off as he steps forward to pull the bedframe closest to him out before moving closer to the wall to shift the other back against it. He fixes the mattresses and the mattress pad before grabbing his small dresser and pulling it away from the wall. He pushes it into position between the bed and the other wall. Reiner turns to Bertholdt with a grin. “Not quite in the center but just enough room for both of us to be able to conveniently get out of bed and ample space for us to work comfortably at our desks.”

Bertholdt smiles before placing the still-packaged bedding on the bed. “Looks good, but…” He crosses the room to move his dresser to the other side of the bed before pushing Reiner’s fridge into the spot where the blond’s dresser had been before. He carefully picks up the television and places it on top of the fridge. “Better…?” Reiner sits on the edge of the bed as he looks around the room.

“Oh yeah, it’s really coming together.” Bert steps over to the edge of the bed so he can start unpacking their new bedding. He separates the sheets from the comforter and pillowcases before stacking everything but the fitted sheet neatly and placing them atop the dresser beside him. He hands Reiner the packaging and the blond stands before tossing it with the packaging for the mattress pad. Bertholdt shakes his head with a smile as he unfolds the fitted sheet.

Reiner moves to the other side of the bed and takes half of the sheet when Bertholdt hands it to him. Bertholdt smiles at him as he stretches the sheet out completely before neatly laying it atop the mattress. Reiner returns the smile as he copies the taller man's motions. Bertholdt begins pulling the corners of the fitted sheet over the corners of the mattress and smooths the sheet out after Reiner has done the same. He takes the flat sheet from the top of the neat pile of bedding and unfolds it before flipping it into the air and allowing to lay across the mattress. Reiner moves around the bed to grab the pillowcases and starts pulling them over their pillows as Bertholdt straightens and smooths out the sheet. The comforter is the last of the set to make its way onto the mattress.

After Bertholdt has straightened everything out, Reiner comes over to lay their pillows at the head of the bed. Bertholdt heads to the spot on the floor where the throw pillows have been laying (along with those _other_ things). Reiner rushes over, pointing to a bag on his desk as he speaks. “Ahh, I’ll get these. There are some other things you can help with in that bag.” Bertholdt smiles as he turns his back to his boyfriend to fish through the bag he had been directed to. _Yep, definitely trying to hide them from me_.

Bertholdt hears one of the dresser drawers open and close quickly before Reiner returns to his side. Bertholdt grins wider as he pulls a few boxes of plain white string lights along with a box of colored string lights and several Halloween decorations from the bag. He looks at Reiner who is grinning back at him. “So I know we're only like a week into October but it’s never really too early to decorate, is it?”

“Never…” Bertholdt turns to face Reiner before sliding his arms over his shoulders. He pulls him into an embrace and nuzzles his face into the shorter man's neck. “Thank you…” He feels Reiner's arms slide around his waist to hold him tight.

There’s nothing more Bertholdt wants to do at this moment than tell Reiner how much he loves him, that he’s never going to let go. Not this time. But he won't because he can't. Their relationship is all too new for proclamations of love and there's no way for Bert to explain to Reiner that they've been through this before. Bertholdt avoids being as affectionate with Reiner as he usually would’ve been. He doesn’t want him to think of him as clingy or needy. He just wants Reiner to _remember_.

Bertholdt slowly pulls away before turning his attention back to the decorations. He's planning out where they should each hang when he realizes Reiner hasn’t spoken for a while. Bert looks back to Reiner to find a confused look on his face. “Reiner…everything alright?” Reiner's attention snaps back to his boyfriend, an obviously forced smile creeping across his face.

“Yeah, sorry babe. Just another headache coming on. The weather must be changing or something because they’ve just been so damn frequent recently.” He laughs nervously after finishing his sentence. Bertholdt nods as Reiner crosses the room to grab some ibuprofen from their medicine box. Now that Bertholdt thinks about it, Reiner _has_ been having headaches quite frequently lately. A wave of worry and almost panic washes over him. _Could this be a side effect?_ He makes a mental note to text Annie about it later.

Reiner sits on the edge of the bed while Bertholdt stands at the window, hanging the colored lights around it with some putty. “Have you eaten dinner yet?” Bertholdt finishes hanging the lights and begins to pull the window clings from their sheet as he responds.

“Hmm, no. Haven’t really had time.” He carefully places each cling on the window until a cute Halloween scene has been formed.

“How do you feel about Chinese takeout? I could order it.” Bertholdt turns to grin at Reiner.

“That would be wonderful. Maybe we could watch a movie while we eat?” Reiner smiles as he crosses the room to grab his laptop, sitting on the bed before pulling up the menu for a local Chinese restaurant.

“Yes, of course.” Bertholdt hums softly as he pulls his desk chair out before carefully standing on it to hang the white lights around the perimeter of the room. Once Reiner has opened the menu and selected his entrée, he speaks up. “What would you like?”

Bertholdt replies as he continues to hang the lights. “Do they have orange chicken?” The room is silent as Reiner scans the menu.

“Yep, got it…white rice, brown rice, or lo mein?”

“Lo mein, please.”

“Alright, in that case, I’ll just order a larger one to share.” Reiner adds the item to his online order before scanning the menu for a final time. “How do you feel about crab rangoons?”

“Is that even a question? I _love_ crab rangoons. They’re possibly the tastiest non-authentic Chinese food to ever grace my existence.” Reiner chuckles softly as he adds the appetizer to their order. Before finalizing the order, he repeats it back to Bertholdt quickly before receiving an affirmation from the other man.

“Alright, everything should be here in about 45 minutes.” Bertholdt steps off of his chair after hanging the last few lights, stretching after comfortably grounding himself.

“Oh goodness, so late yet so _so_ hungry.” Bert grabs a spool of black and orange garland from the desk and unravels it as he walks to their door. He opens the door and begins hanging the garland around the perimeter of the outside. After the garland is in place, he tapes a few paper pumpkins onto the surface of the door before hanging a cute ghost decoration from the hook in the top center. He stands back to observe his work with a smile and closes the door once he’s satisfied.

He turns to face the room to admire the new layout. “Thank you…for all of this. You really didn’t have to go to the trouble.” He hears the bed creak as Reiner stands and a strong set of arms slide around his waist from behind soon after.

“It’s fine, I knew it would make you happy and seeing you happy makes me happy so it’s beneficial for the both of us.” Reiner smiles as he presses a soft kiss to the base of Bertholdt's neck. Bert hums as he leans back into Reiner's embrace. He feels Reiner's lips press against the side of his neck once more. He sighs comfortably before tilting his neck, giving the blond more to work with.

Bertholdt has a feeling he knows where this is going. It isn’t that he doesn’t _want_ to have sex with Reiner, he just knows that he'll get way too caught up in it if he does. Bert internally cringes at the thought of uncontrollably chanting “oh god I love you” while being fucked senseless by a man that he’s in a (practically) new relationship with, even if that man _is_ Reiner.

Bertholdt turns to face his boyfriend before sliding his arms over Reiner's shoulders with a smile. The shorter man continues to kiss along the column of Bert's neck after he has resituated himself. Bertholdt hums softly as he tilts his neck further. He feels Reiner begin to suck but doesn’t make much of a move to interrupt him, a few hickies wouldn’t hurt.

Bertholdt grins as he feels Reiner's hand slide down to knead his ass gently, the other beginning to toy with the hem of his shirt. “What do you think you're up to?” Reiner pulls off of his neck slowly and is silent for a moment. He’s seemingly at a loss for words and a blush begins to spread across his cheeks as he realizes he’s been found out.

“O-oh, sorry. I’m not up to anything.” _Pfft, yeah right._ Bert gives him a look that lets Reiner know he isn’t buying it. Reiner smiles sincerely as he steps back, holding his hands up as a sign that he’s going to keep them to himself. He looks a little dejected. Bertholdt chuckles softly and decides he might have to surprise him later.

“I don’t really mind but I figured we shouldn’t really be getting caught up in anything. The food should be here soon, after all.” Reiner nods before leaning his back against the wall.

“Good point.” He thinks for a bit before standing straight and heading over to his desk. “So I know they’ll call me when they’re here but I wanted to go outside for a moment if you would like to join. We could just wait for the food by the front entrance.” He tugs his jacket from the back of his desk chair and pulls it on as he walks to the door before turning to give Bertholdt an expectant look.

“Yeah, I could go for some fresh air.” Bertholdt grabs his own jacket and puts it on as he follows Reiner out of the room, pausing to turn off the light and lock the door behind them. They head down to the lobby and through the main doors together, hand-in-hand. Reiner picks a picnic table to the left of the main doors. Bertholdt smiles as he sits beside him.

Reiner fishes through his jacket pocket, a satisfied look crossing his face as he locates his pack of cigarettes. He finds his lighter in his other pocket and places both items on the table in front of him. “Does it umm…does it bother you that I do this?” He gestures to the pack of cigarettes as he pulls one out and holds it between his lips before bringing a hand up to light it.

Bertholdt pulls his jacket around himself tighter, looking at the table for a moment before turning his attention to Reiner. “Not really. I mean, it isn’t really good for your health but it isn’t like a turn-off or anything and I’m not going to make you stop if you don’t want to.” Reiner nods after taking a drag.

“See, that’s the thing. It’s not that I _don’t_ want to quit, I’m just scared that if I do then I’ll pick up some other stress-relieving habit that could somehow be worse for me.” He smiles somewhat bitterly. “And then there’s the whole deal with nicotine withdrawal…I just don’t know if I’m ready for it.” Reiner puts the end of his spent cigarette out on the edge of the table before laying it in front of him. He opens the pack to pull out another.

“If you want to quit, you don’t have to just go cold turkey. You could always gradually cut yourself back. Like, smoke one less each day until you feel comfortable enough to let them go. Or you could always switch to patches.” Reiner hums before slowly pushing the withdrawn cigarette back into the pack.

“You’ve got a pretty good point…” Reiner clasps his hands together before looking up at the moon. He soon feels Bertholdt's body lean against him, the other man's hand coming up to take one of his. Reiner smiles as their fingers weave together. They sit in comfortable silence as they continue to gaze at the stars.

The moment is interrupted by the sharp ring of Reiner's phone. He pulls his attention from the sky and notices a delivery guy bounding up the steps before answering the call. “Yeah, I’m outside. I think I see you, be there in a sec. Thanks.” Reiner smiles as he stands before motioning for Bertholdt to follow. “Food’s here.” The blond rushes towards the steps before bounding up them to meet the delivery driver. Bertholdt takes a moment to text Annie.

“Reiner said he’s been having headaches lately. Side effect?” He knows it’ll probably take her a while to answer so he pockets his phone before heading towards the main doors of the residence hall.

Reiner is almost finished with his transaction by the time Bertholdt catches up to him. He signs the receipt and tips the driver before thanking him and taking the food. Bertholdt holds the door open for him and they return to their room in silence. Once inside, Reiner sets the food on his desk before shucking off his jacket. He picks the food back up before cheerily hopping onto the bed. Bertholdt grins as he takes his own jacket off before picking up a paper plate for the noodles and joining his boyfriend on the bed. “Excited?”

Reiner has already pulled his food from the bag and started eating it. “Yes, very.” Bertholdt reaches for the container of lo mein and scoops about half of it onto his plate before pulling his entrée and the bag of crab rangoons from the paper bag. He puts two on his plate before opening his entrée and beginning to eat. They make a game of tapping each other's feet as they eat silently.

Bertholdt smiles sweetly as he watches Reiner's foot sway over to tap his own before returning the motion. “Thank you…” The blond looks up at him with a noodle hanging from his mouth. A joyful laugh is pulled from Bertholdt's throat and he quickly covers his mouth. Reiner slurps the noodle into his mouth and Bertholdt lowers his hand once he’s finished laughing. “For dinner and just…all of _this_. You really didn’t have to.” He gestures around the room.

“It really isn’t a problem. I’d do anything to see you happy.” Bertholdt’s heart flutters in his chest as a goofy grin spreads across his face. He looks away quickly and continues eating until he’s had his fill. He closes the box containing the remainder of his orange chicken before walking to the fridge. Bertholdt puts his food away before returning to the bed and flopping back. He tucks his arms behind his head and stares at the ceiling as he thinks.

He’s about to say something that he may very well regret. Bertholdt fidgets nervously, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again. His heart is hammering in his chest and he takes a deep breath to calm himself. Once calm, he works up some courage before finally asking his question.

“Can I blow you after you’re done eating?” Bert hears Reiner choke on the food that had been in his mouth but other than that, he is silent. Reiner is silent for a little too long and Bertholdt worries that he may have overstepped a boundary with his question.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt has a surprise for Reiner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm going to be super busy tomorrow so I thought I'd go ahead and give you the chapter a day early. :)

“Can I blow you after you’re done eating?” Reiner chokes on his food. _Maybe I heard him wrong_. The blond wracks his brain for anything else Bertholdt could’ve said and comes up with nothing. He still refuses to let go of the idea that his ears have betrayed him. Reiner puts his fork down and remains facing the room, a little too embarrassed to address Bertholdt face-to-face.

“I’m sorry, I was a little distracted. What was that?” He feels Bertholdt sit up and shift towards the edge of the bed, returning to Reiner's side.

“I-I uh…I wanna give you head. Is that okay?” Reiner thinks his heart might stop.

“Y-yes of course…more than okay.” He feels his face grow hot and hopes he isn’t coming off as too enthusiastic. Bertholdt pats Reiner's knee gently.

“Finish eating first, alright?” Reiner nods in response. He begins to eat quickly, earning a soft laugh from Bertholdt. “Slow down, you’re going to make yourself sick.” Reiner slows down and closes everything up once he’s finished. He begins to stand to put the leftovers away but Bertholdt puts a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back down onto the bed. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”

Bertholdt stands and crosses the room to put Reiner's food in the fridge. He can feel the other man's eyes on him as he moves and it sends a shiver down his spine. Reiner's always been a little different whenever he's worked up. The only word Bertholdt can think of to fittingly describe it is 'hungry'. He smirks slightly before making a show of swaying his hips as he moves to turn off the overhead light.

The bright light that was once covering the room is replaced by the dim light radiating from the string lights. Bertholdt returns to the edge of the bed to stand in front of Reiner. He parts the other man’s legs with a knee before standing between them and pressing close. He's trying to be sexy and it usually comes naturally thanks to his performances but it seems to be a little harder for him to do it for Reiner. Maybe it’s because the blond is the love of his life (whether Reiner knows it at the moment or not) and not just some stranger watching him through a webcam.

Reiner gasps softly as Bertholdt traces his jawline with a finger and tilts his chin up slowly. Sounds like Bertholdt's doing a decent job. He leans in until his lips are just barely touching Reiner’s and stays there for a moment. Bert really wants the anticipation to get to Reiner and since he isn’t very patient, it’s pretty easy to get him riled up. Reiner leans up in an attempt to catch Bertholdt’s lips but fails when the taller man pulls back with a grin.

Reiner huffs in frustration but is quickly distracted when Bert’s hands begin to slide along his thighs. The blond hooks his fingers in the belt loops of his boyfriend’s pants and tugs him closer. Bertholdt shifts his touch to Reiner’s sides and gasps as he is surprised by two large hands groping his ass. Bertholdt loves being manhandled as much as the next person but he wants to make a point that sometimes he also likes to be in charge.

Bertholdt reaches around his own body to grab Reiner’s wrists before slowly pulling his boyfriend’s hands away and guiding them to the edge of the bed. “No touching.” Reiner frowns before opening his mouth to protest.

“But...but…please?” His frown turns to a pout but Bertholdt remains vigilant.

“No ‘buts’. I told you no touching.” He grins wide before returning his hands to Reiner’s thighs and continuing to rub them, slowly creeping inwards. Reiner groans and rolls his hips up in search of friction. Bertholdt pulls his hands away in response.

“Nn, fuck. Bertl…”

“What do you say?”

“Please… _please_.” Bertholdt nods, satisfied with Reiner's response. His hands resume their almost torturous rhythm. Bertholdt bends slightly to press a chaste kiss to Reiner's lips before dropping to his knees, leaving his boyfriend wanting more. Reiner looks down at him, anxiously waiting. Bertholdt grins as he meets the other man’s gaze before dropping his eyes to observe Reiner's cock bulging through the fabric of his jeans.

Bertholdt's grin fades slightly and he begins to feel a little less confident. It looks quite a bit bigger than the night before. Bertholdt figures that it must partially be due to the angle he’s viewing it at along with the fact that Reiner may not have been fully erect the night before due to the waning effects of the alcohol. He isn’t _huge_ per say, just larger than what Bert's used to working with for his shows.

From Reiner's angle, Bertholdt looks quite concerned. “Hey, babe…?” Bertholdt’s eyes snap up to meet Reiner’s. “Are you sure you still want to do this?” Bertholdt nods with a smile.

“Yeah, of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Just checking, you had kind of a weird look on your face.” The blond chuckles softly and Bertholdt blushes, grateful that the dim lighting is able to hide it.

“It’s nothing, I promise.” Bertholdt reassuringly kisses the inside of Reiner's thigh. It’s kind of hard to feel the kiss through the thick material of his jeans but Reiner enjoys it nonetheless. Bertholdt reignites the mood by gently tracing the outline of Reiner's cock with a finger. The blond is caught off guard and tips his head back with a groan. When Bertholdt wraps his hand completely around his boyfriend's length, Reiner rolls his hips into the touch. Bertholdt allows it. He figures he’s already teased Reiner enough.

He squeezes lightly before moving his hand away to unbutton and unzip Reiner’s jeans. Reiner sighs as some of the pressure is relieved and wiggles his hips slightly to show that he's ready for more. Bertholdt hums as he lightly runs his hand over Reiner's cock before reaching into his underwear and gently tugging him out. “So impatient…” He smirks before beginning to stroke lazily.

Reiner huffs because he knows it’s true even if he isn’t willing to outwardly admit it. He leans back on his elbows in an attempt to get comfortable before Bertholdt really gets down to business. The taller man circles his hand around the base of his boyfriend's dick, slowly tugging up before squeezing and moving his hand back down. He scoots a little closer and rests his head on the inside of Reiner's thigh as he strokes. Reiner sighs as Bertholdt begins to add pressure.

He runs his thumb along the piercings that line the underside of his boyfriend's cock. “Do these ever get caught on anything…?” Reiner hums as he looks down, his eyes following the rhythm of Bert's hand.

“Nahh, not really. Well, not anymore at least. The barbells the piercer put in after piercing me were kind of long so sometimes they would get caught on clothes and stuff but it hasn’t been an issue since I’ve healed and have been able to switch to shorter ones.” Bertholdt nods as he continues to toy with the ball at the end of one of the barbells. He's still curious and wants to ask more questions but is afraid he'll spoil the mood. He decides to keep quiet for now.

Bertholdt leans closer before holding Reiner's cock upright to teasingly slide the tip of his tongue between the beads of his piercings. The taste of metal in his mouth is foreign but it should be easy to become accustomed to it. Bertholdt earns a groan from the blond and he begins to wonder if Reiner still enjoys the same techniques that he had in their past life.  Bertholdt holds back a smirk as he takes the head of his boyfriend's cock in his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it a few times before sucking lightly, his eyes trailing up to meet Reiner's as he does so.

Reiner thinks his heart might stop when Bert's green eyes meet his. “Oh fuck, you’re perfect.” Bertholdt feels Reiner's cock twitch slightly. He'll take that as a "yes". Reiner exhales heavily and leans further back. He can feel himself getting flustered but can't stand to look away from the sight before him.

Bertholdt breathes through his nose as he slowly takes more of Reiner into his mouth. He’s just a little further than halfway down but can already tell that fitting absolutely _all_ of it in might be a bit of a struggle. It’s been a while since he’s had an actual dick in his mouth so he knows he should pace himself. Bert wraps his hand around what he hasn’t taken yet and hollows his cheeks before beginning to bob his head slowly.

He can still feel Reiner’s eyes on him, to no surprise at all. The blond has always been one to watch. Bertholdt feels his jaw begin to grow tired and pulls back slowly to suck on the head of Reiner's cock as he pumps the shaft with a firm grip, his left over saliva allowing his hand to glide smoothly. Reiner groans above him and grips the edge of the bed tightly, ignoring the urge to push further into Bertholdt's mouth.

Bertholdt smirks around the dick in his mouth as he becomes more comfortable. He looks up to meet Reiner's eyes once again, maintaining eye contact as he takes him in further than before. Reiner gasps and sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he attempts to keep himself grounded to the bed.

There's only about half an inch left to go but Bertholdt isn’t sure if he'll be able to manage it. The amount of cock in his mouth already has him dangerously close to gagging and he really doesn’t want to push himself, not yet. Instead of forcing the rest, he wraps his index finger, middle finger, and thumb around the remainder of Reiner's dick, his other two fingers resting against his groin as he bobs his head.

Bertholdt uses his fingers to spread his saliva around the base of Reiner's cock before beginning to suck with a little more force. He feels a hand card through his hair and the bed squeaks as Reiner sits upright with a moan. Bertholdt follows his motions, doing his best to keep his rhythm. Reiner's hand hasn’t moved from its spot on top of Bertholdt's head. Bert doesn’t mind, the contact is nice. Reiner isn’t gripping or pulling his hair, his hand is just kind of resting there.

Bertholdt pulls a deep breath in through his nose before lifting the pointer finger that had been wrapped around Reiner's cock. He looks up to his boyfriend as he slides down, his mouth now resting on the last finger separating his mouth from Reiner's groin. Bert knows if he holds here for much longer, he's going to gag. He decides to pull back and work with what he can fit comfortably before removing his hand from the base of Reiner's cock.

Bertholdt’s eyes dart up to meet Reiner's and he holds eye contact as he slides down until his nose is pressed in the curly blond hair surrounding the base of Reiner's cock. The man above him groans loudly and his grip tightens in Bertholdt’s hair. “O-oh fuck…you’re perfect, you're so god damn perfect, I’m close, I’m so close...” Bertholdt steadies his breathing before sucking a little harder while pulling all the way back to the head only to slide back down to the base.

Bertholdt can hear Reiner's breathing pick up and can tell he's about to cum. He knows he should pull off, that he’s never really been a fan of swallowing, but he wants to do it for Reiner. He pulls back a bit, pausing once he feels Reiner's cock twitch. Reiner curses as he finishes, eyes slipping shut as he fills Bert's mouth.

Bertholdt swallows around Reiner's cock and pulls off once he’s finished, attempting not to gag. Not all of it had gone down on the first try and the texture of what is left is starting to make his stomach churn. Bert fails to hold back a gag as he swallows the remainder of his boyfriend's cum. He's quick to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

Reiner startles slightly at the noise. “Hey, you okay?” He leans down quickly to cup Bertholdt's cheek with his right hand. Bertholdt nods and gives him a reassuring smile before speaking, voice raspy from having a dick in his throat just moments before. Reiner takes a second to tuck himself away, not caring to refasten his pants.

“Yeah, just not a big fan of swallowing.” Reiner pushes his bottom lip out in a slight pout.

“Aww, baby…you don’t have to do it if you don’t like it.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly.

“But I wanted to, I thought you'd enjoy it.”

“Trust me, I enjoyed it. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do things you don’t like because I enjoy them. Got it?” Reiner smiles as he ruffles Bert's hair.

“Yeah, got it.” Reiner grins wide before holding his hand out to Bertholdt.

“Alright, now get up here. It’s your turn.” Bertholdt smiles as he takes Reiner's hand and uses it to pull himself up slowly, legs shaky from sitting on them for so long. He’s grateful for the offer. Getting Reiner off had gotten Bert pretty worked up himself but he hadn’t really had too much time to think about it since he had been doing his best to focus on Reiner. He climbs onto the bed and flops onto his side beside Reiner, allowing his legs to stretch out a bit. Reiner lays back beside his boyfriend. “Do you want the same thing or just hands orrrr…?” Reiner runs his hand along the taller man's side as he trails off.

Bertholdt hums as he shifts closer. “Hands are fine.” Bertholdt almost wants to ask what Reiner means by 'or' but he decides to leave it at that. Bert hums softly as he feels Reiner begin to trace his hip. The blond slides his hand up slightly to push Bertholdt's shirt up past his belly button. Reiner slides his hand down to slip a few fingers beneath the waistband of Bertholdt’s pants, smiling as the taller man hums and raises his hips in response. He leans in to press a kiss to Bertholdt's neck as he unfastens his pants.

Bertholdt hums as he grips the fabric covering his thighs, tugging as he shimmies slightly in order to slide his pants down and kick them off. Reiner shifts closer before pressing a soft kiss to the other man's lips. Bertholdt reciprocates needily as he guides Reiner's hand back to his hip. Reiner smirks as he slides his hand around to grip Bert's ass. He squeezes before sliding his hand down to the back of his boyfriend’s thigh, pulling Bertholdt's leg up to rest on his hip.

Bertholdt lightly nips Reiner's lip before reluctantly pulling away from the intense kiss, panting softly. “Reiner, please.” Reiner smirks before pressing his forehead to Bertholdt's.

“Come on baby, you know I’ve gotta set the mood.” Bertholdt shifts impatiently before gripping Reiner’s shirt.

“Hasn’t it already been set?” Bert pouts cutely and Reiner sighs in defeat. He'll have to tease Bertholdt another time.

“Mmh, yeah. I guess so…and you say _I’m_ impatient?” He grins wide before sliding his thumb beneath the waistband of Bertholdt's underwear. Bertholdt raises his hips and helps his boyfriend remove the article of clothing before returning his leg to its spot over Reiner's hip.

“In my defense, I’ve been hard pretty much since we started. So, technically…” Bertholdt is quickly pulled from the conversation by an unexpected pressure being applied to his cock. He gasps softly as he presses against the thigh that has made its way between his legs. The fabric of Reiner's jeans is rough but the pressure feels nice enough to compel Bertholdt to grind against his boyfriend for a second time.

Reiner hums as he slides his thigh away and lightly grips Bertholdt's hip, his other arm sliding between the taller man's shoulder and the bed. “M’gonna roll you on top of me, okay?” Bertholdt nods in response, somewhat upset at the loss of friction against his cock. Reiner positions him with ease and Bertholdt steadies himself once he's in his boyfriend’s lap. Reiner's strength is something that Bertholdt has always greatly appreciated.

The blond hums softly as he slides both hands along Bertholdt's thighs, grinning as the taller man squirms. “Hey, baby…?”

“Mmh…yeah?” Bertholdt takes his cock into his own hand and begins to stroke slowly, too impatient to wait for Reiner to do it. Reiner notices and knocks Bertholdt’s hand away to replace it with his own before replying.

“Is it okay if I finger you?” Bertholdt squeaks, the question unexpected. His face grows hot as he mulls it over. No one had really ever offered to finger Bert prior to this unless it was for the sole purpose of preparing him for intercourse. Well, no one except for himself at least. In their past lives, they hadn’t had enough time to enjoy elaborate foreplay or lengthy sessions of fooling around as they have been lately. Of course they would try, only to be interrupted before they could finish. Bert enjoys the thought of getting fingered just to get off.

“I-I guess…yeah. I would like that. As long as you want to…” Reiner grins wide as he sits up and steadies Bertholdt before turning to fish through the top drawer of his dresser-turned-nightstand.

“Oh yeah, I want to.” He closes the drawer once he finds what he needs before turning to face Bertholdt and laying back down. He sets the container of lube beside him before placing his hands on Bert’s hips and soothingly rubbing circles into them. “How do you wanna get this started?” Bertholdt hums softly as he leans a little closer.

“Kiss me more?” Reiner nods as he loops an arm around the back of Bert's neck and pulls him down into a kiss. It’s slow at first but gradually picks up until they’re heavily making out. Reiner grabs the lube and slicks up his fingers when Bertholdt pulls away to catch his breath. Reiner smiles and waits patiently for the taller man to give him the signal. Once his breathing has evened out, Bertholdt leans down to softly press a kiss to Reiner's cheek. “Go ahead.”

The blond reaches behind his boyfriend and rests his wrist on the cleft of his ass. Bertholdt groans as he feels Reiner slowly slide a finger over his entrance. Reiner hums softly as he moves the lube around before pulling his hand away. Bertholdt whines at the loss of contact before realizing that Reiner is just reaching for more lube. “Nn...I think you’ve got enough, Reiner.” He lifts his ass slightly, eager to feel Reiner's fingers again.

Reiner smiles before smearing more lube over Bertholdt's entrance. “You can never have too much lube.” Bertholdt moans as he feels the tip of his boyfriend’s index finger slip in. He chuckles breathlessly.

“Yeah, guess you’ve got a pretty good point.” The finger retreats and the taller man pushes back, following its motion. It returns to plunge deeper and Bertholdt whimpers Reiner's name. Reiner wraps his free hand around Bert's cock and begins to stroke slowly, timing it with the thrusts of his finger. The taller man is torn between thrusting forward into Reiner's hand and pushing back onto his finger.

Reiner awes as he watches his boyfriend's face contort between pleasure and frustration. “Let me know when you’re ready for two.” Bertholdt replies quick and breathless.

“Two…. two. Yes, _please_. I want two.” He groans as he pushes back, the need to feel fuller overwhelming him. He feels Reiner’s middle finger join his index and wiggles his hips in an attempt to adjust to the stretch. Reiner scissors his fingers as he soothes Bertholdt with a kiss.

“Comfortable?” Bertholdt nods in response as he rolls his hips back. He whines impatiently.

“Reiner, _please_.” Reiner grins as he slowly slides his fingers back, waiting a second before pushing them back in. The blond speeds the pace of both of his hands, picking up a pleasing rhythm. The first thing Bertholdt notices is that Reiner is good with his hands. Really good. He's had practice. Part of Bertholdt wonders when and with who but he quickly pushes the thought from his mind. He doesn’t have the right to be jealous of what happened in the past. Besides, it isn’t like he didn’t sleep with Annie or Marco before this. It would be ridiculous to hold Reiner to a standard that he hadn’t even bothered to hold himself to.

He's brought back to the moment when he feels Reiner wiggle his fingers. He's searching for something and Bertholdt has a feeling he knows what it is. “Whatcha thinkin' about?” Bertholdt hums softly as he rolls his hips back.

“Nothing, you’re just r-really goo- Ahh!” _Found it_. Reiner softly presses his fingers to Bert's prostate once more. The taller man feels another wave of pleasure wash over him and Reiner grins wide when he shudders and moans.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch what you said.”  He continues to slide his fingers over the gland, thoroughly enjoying the whimpers coming from the man above him. Bertholdt refuses to speak, not sure if he’d even be able to if he tried. Reiner tightens his grip on Bertholdt's cock and continues to stroke before sliding his fingers away from the sensitive area.

Bertholdt whines at the loss. “No, no, please. Keep going.”

“You gonna cum soon if I do?” Bertholdt nods quickly as he continues to roll his hips back, fucking himself on Reiner's fingers. He whines as he feels Reiner slowly draw his fingers out.

“Please, baby. Please, please, please, _please_.” A shiver runs down Reiner’s spine and he quickly obliges. Bert moans as he feels the digits return to their place on his prostate.

“Alright…b-but only because you asked so nicely.” Watching Bertholdt come undone is starting to get Reiner worked up again.

“Yes, _yes_. Thank you.” Bertholdt leans closer as he moans breathlessly. Reiner squeezes Bert’s cock softly as he slowly massages his prostate. The taller man leans down to sloppily kiss Reiner a few times before pulling away to rest his head on the blonde’s shoulder as his breathing begins to quicken.

“You gonna cum for me?” Bert tips his head back with a soft moan.

“Yes, yes, oh _fuck_ yes.” He switches between fucking Reiner's hand and riding his fingers, not sure which feels better. Once he feels himself tip a little closer to the edge, Bert sloppily shoves Reiner's shirt up in hopes that it will stay dry. “J-just a little more. _Fuck_.”

Reiner curls his fingers _perfectly_ and Bertholdt cries out as he finishes, spilling himself over the blond's hand and stomach. His legs tremble and he tries his hardest not to collapse but makes sure he tips away when he does, landing on the bed instead of on top of Reiner. Bert pants softly, eyes slipping shut as Reiner cleans himself up with tissues. Once he's finished, Reiner slides closer to his boyfriend. “I’m gonna clean you up, okay?” Bertholdt nods as he attempts to catch his breath.

By the time Reiner has finished, Bert has calmed down significantly. He sits up before leaning down to the top drawer of his dresser/nightstand and pulls out a clean pair of underwear, putting them on before shucking off his shirt and tossing it to the floor. He curls up under the covers and is nearly asleep when Reiner slides in behind him.

He’s hard. Bertholdt opens his eyes and sighs. “How are you _already_ hard again? Too horny for your own good, I swear.” Reiner chuckles nervously.

“You look really good when you’re a mess for me… but don’t worry about it, it’ll go away.”

Bertholdt huffs before mumbling something along the lines of “Gonna be kind of hard to fall asleep with you poking me like that.” Reiner smiles and kisses the back of Bert's neck before curling closer.

“Give me five minutes and it’ll be gone, promise.” Five minutes pass and Reiner's erection is gone, as promised, but Bertholdt still hasn’t been able to sleep due to a certain thought that’s been creeping up from the back of his mind since he had first discovered how skilled Reiner really is with his hands.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt learns about Reiner's past "relationships".

Bertholdt tosses and turns in an attempt to get comfortable but the thought still weighs on his mind. He knows he shouldn’t ask and he knows he shouldn’t care but it’s a topic they haven’t even touched on yet. Bertholdt’s curiosity gets the best of him and he knows he'll probably regret it. He slowly rolls to face Reiner. “Hey…Reiner? You awake?” Reiner hums softly.

“Mm, yeah. Just barely. Why?” Bertholdt takes a shaky breath.

“I uhh…I had a question.” Reiner peeks an eye open and Bertholdt starts to get a little more nervous.

“Go ahead, ask.”

“U-umm…well…I was wondering how you uhh…got so good at _that_.” Reiner sucks a deep breath through his teeth. He should’ve expected Bertholdt to bring it up at some point in time, he just didn’t think it would be so soon.

“I guess I should tell you…probably should’ve sooner.” He nervously runs his fingers through his hair before dropping his hand. “But before I tell you, I want you to know that I’m not really proud of that part of my life. I’m not the person I once was. I’m not…I’m not like that anymore. I promise, Bertholdt.” Reiner never calls him by his full first name. This must be serious. Reiner takes a shaky breath. Bertholdt is slightly nervous about how mysterious Reiner is being but soothes the blond nonetheless.

“Reiner, I masturbate in front of strangers for a living. There’s nothing I can really judge you for.” He chuckles softly in an attempt to lighten the mood. Reiner forces a smile before shifting away to lay on his back.

“So uhh, so Ymir and I had that ‘we’re gay’ conversation and I laid low for a while, really didn’t believe it myself at first and sure as hell didn’t want anyone else to know. Eventually, I started to get curious. Around the end of junior year, I heard a rumor that Jean Kirstein was ‘experimenting’ and I took the chance and asked him about it. We ended up fooling around for a bit, as long as he could keep my secret and I could keep his. That is until he decided to pursue a legitimate relationship with none other than your ex-boyfriend. I didn’t mind, I wasn’t looking for a relationship anyway.” Reiner pauses for a second, trying to even out his shaky breath. Bertholdt smiles before weaving his fingers between Reiner’s.

“I’m not sure why you were so worried. It isn’t _that_ bad, Reiner.” Reiner slides his hand away from Bert's. He figures Bertholdt probably won’t even want to look at him after he finishes his story.

“That’s not all. It gets worse.” A worried look returns to Bertholdt's face. _What could Reiner mean by "worse"?_ Reiner takes another deep breath before continuing.

“So like I said, I didn’t really care. I was happy for him for finding someone. But I guess he felt guilty for leaving me hanging when I was still very much in the closet. He let me know where I could buy a fake I.D. and told me about this nightclub downtown that he used to frequent. At first, I would just go to hang out. Ma works thirds so she never knew when I was gone. After about a month of testing the waters, I started bringing guys back to Ymir's place, just in case Ma came home early. It became a habit and throughout the summer prior to Senior year I’d bring a guy back every Friday, occasionally Saturdays.”

Oh. Oh no. It dawns on Bert that neither of them had ever even talked about getting tested. Bertholdt hadn’t even thought about it. A bad move on both of their parts. Reiner notices that Bertholdt has become more nervous and picks up on exactly what he's thinking.

“Don’t worry, I’m clean. I’ve never done anything without condoms. Well, until last night at least. And I get tested regularly.” Bertholdt nods, slightly upset but still ready to listen to Reiner's story. “I’d give my number to anyone who asked but when they'd call back the next day, I’d just ignore them. I got kind of sick of getting so many calls so I decided to have a little 'fun' and started giving guys Ymir's number instead. They were so shocked to hear a woman on the other end of the line that they’d either hang up or go off on a tangent about how 'your husband/boyfriend/fiancé is a lying cheat'.” Reiner sighs softly before sitting upright and leaning his head against the wall.

“It quickly backfired. Ymir decided that if I wanted her to be an angry wife, then she would start acting like an angry wife. One morning after I had brought a guy over the night before, she came in and poured a pitcher of ice-cold water over both of us.” Reiner does his best to imitate Ymir's voice. “’What the fuck Michael! Are you fucking kidding me?!' I'm confused, the other guy is _really_ confused. He looks at me and says 'Michael…? I thought you said your name was Reiner.’ I’m so confused that I can’t even figure out how to explain, all the while Ymir is still yelling. 'You're going to throw away fifteen years of marriage just like that? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!'.” Reiner chuckles, the memory quite humorous to him at the moment.

“I don’t think I look _that_ old but he bought it. So now this guy’s like 'Fifteen years of MARRIAGE?? You told me you were only twenty-two years old!' So he's pissed, picking up his clothes and whatnot, and then Krista comes to stand in the doorway. She’s got her hair in pigtails and she's wearing a nightgown that makes her look _at least_ ten. She’s fake crying.” Reiner puts on his best Krista voice. “’Mommy, why are you yelling at papa? Please don’t fight again!' What’s-his-name runs out of there quicker than I’ve ever seen someone run before. Ymir and Krista got their laughs. Ymir confiscated my fake I.D. and revoked my privileges to her home until I could clean up my act. Needless to say, I learned my lesson.”

Bertholdt hums softly, not sure how to respond at first. “How many? If you don’t mind me asking…”

“Before you? Thirteen…fourteen maybe…” Reiner shakes his head as he twiddles his thumbs. “You probably think I’m disgusting.”

“No, there’s uhh…there’s nothing wrong with 'exploring'. But what you did to those guys was mean and wrong. And honestly, I’m disappointed in you.”

“I know, and I totally deserve any bad karma that’s coming my way. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I mean, it’s fine I guess. Telling me later is better than not telling me at all, right?” Reiner hums softly before laying back down.

“Right…” He rolls to face away. “It's fine if you’re not really interested in me anymore. I’m a really shitty person.” Bertholdt scoots closer.

“No, no Reiner I am.” His heart aches at the thought of leaving Reiner's side for a second time. He may have been a shitty person at that point in his life but it’s nothing that isn’t forgivable. “You’ve changed. I know you have. I’m happy you told me and I’m happy to be with you. Now, let’s just lay down and relax, get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning, okay?” Reiner nods and begins to relax as Bertholdt wraps his arms around him. Although his heart aches, Bertholdt soothingly slides a hand through Reiner’s hair to calm him down and lull him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Bertholdt wakes up in an empty bed and the spot where Reiner should be is cold to the touch. He panics for a moment before quickly calming himself. There has to be a completely rational explanation for why Reiner is gone, there’s no way he would run off. He reaches to grab his phone from the nightstand and checks his notifications. One missed text from Annie, nothing from Reiner. Bert's heart aches slightly but he quickly pushes the feeling away as he opens the text from Annie.

“Annie: Ymir said she experienced headaches every once in a while but not all the time. Usually when her and Krista felt strong feelings of affection towards each other at the same time. How often we talking?” Bertholdt types up a reply before rolling onto his side.

“Not exactly sure, maybe four-ish a week.” Annie replies almost immediately.

“Annie: K, I’ll talk to Armin. Might have another meeting soon. Stay strong, Bert.” Bertholdt smiles. Annie's always been good at comforting him. Bertholdt sets his phone down beside him and rests his hands on his stomach as he relaxes. After a few minutes, he hears a set of keys jingle from the other side of the door followed by the sound of the lock turning. He sits up quickly with a grin. Reiner comes in with a paper grocery bag and a box of donuts in hand. He kicks the door closed behind him and grins when he looks up to find Bertholdt awake.

“Morning, baby. You’re up a little earlier than usual.” He seems to be in a good mood despite their conversation from the night before.

“Yeah well, I slept a little easier thanks to some help from a certain someone.” He does his best to hide a blush as Reiner sits on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. The blond grins and shakes his head.

“I got us some breakfast.” He smiles as he slides the box of donuts over to Bertholdt before pulling two small bottles of orange juice from the paper bag. Reiner tosses one to the taller man, opening his own and taking a drink of it before grabbing a donut. “How long you been up?”

Bertholdt munches on his donut and checks the time on his phone before answering. “Maybe about ten minutes. Not long, really.” Reiner hums as he starts to eat. It’s silent for a few minutes before Bertholdt speaks up. “You doing okay?” Reiner nods silently.

“Yeah, I think so. But while we're working through these awkward topics…I actually had a few questions of my own.” Bertholdt nods to let Reiner know it’s fine to ask. He figures this conversation won’t be as intense as last night’s. “Last night you mentioned something about masturbating in front of strangers for a living…meaning, you still do those shows?” Bertholdt finishes eating and takes a drink of his orange juice before wiping his hands on a napkin.

“Yeah, I thought you knew. You even mentioned it at Ymir's.”

“Well I mean, I guess I did, yeah. I guess I just kind of ignored it until now because thinking about that uhh…” Reiner clears his throat awkwardly. “…that _one_ night kind of gets me worked up.” Bert chuckles softly before lightly placing his hand on Reiner's

“Well yeah, that’s kind of the point.” Reiner hums softly.

“Anyway, I was wondering…if I could maybe…possibly…watch you sometime?” Bertholdt is pleasantly surprised.

“Of course you can. I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner.” He smiles and squeezes his boyfriend's hand before stretching his legs out. Reiner smiles nervously.

“Hey, I’ve been doing my best to take it slow. It’s not like I was gonna ask if I could watch you wank before I knew for sure that you'd be alright with it." Reiner laughs as he stands to clear the bed of the leftovers from their breakfast before sitting beside Bertholdt. Bert soothingly rubs Reiner's hand with his thumb.

“Were you thinking about just watching from the site? Like on your laptop from a different location? Or did you want to sit in the room and watch live?” Reiner feels a blush spread across his cheeks.

“I was thinking maybe I could just watch from the site first. Make it a little less personal and a little less embarrassing for me.” He squeezes the taller man's hand softly. “And then I'll think about maybe doing it the other way.” Bertholdt nods in response. He grabs a notepad and pen from the dresser before scribbling down the site URL and his username along with the times and days he's usually on. He hands it to Reiner with a smile. The blond holds the slip of paper in his hand for a moment before turning to tuck it into the top drawer of his dresser.

“Maybe once you’re comfortable enough you could join in…? My viewers have been dying to see you ever since the fateful day that you caught me and I yelled your name. All I got after you ran out was 'Who's Reiner?' followed by a string of seriously awkward questions typed horribly by a bunch of guys with one available hand. Ever since then, they've asked about you at least four or five times a show. You’re popular.” Reiner chuckles softly.

“I’m not so sure about that. I don’t think I’m really cut out for the camming lifestyle. I’m a little _too_ shy on camera. But thanks for the offer and if it'll satisfy your audience, I’ll send you a super-secret but definitely sexy picture that you can show them.” He grins wide before leaning on his boyfriend's shoulder. Bertholdt turns to Reiner, a curious look on his face.

“Am I allowed to see this super-secret but definitely sexy picture that you're speaking of?” Reiner pulls his phone from his pocket and opens his photo gallery before scrolling to the bottom. He opens the aforementioned picture and tilts his phone toward Bertholdt. Reiner is standing clearly drunk and completely naked in what appears to be Ymir's Christmas-decorated kitchen with both arms raised high above his head, each hand brandishing a bottle of whiskey. Ymir is in the background of the photo and the look on her face indicates that she has just realized that Reiner is completely naked in her kitchen.

Bertholdt covers his mouth as a goofy laugh bubbles up from his throat. “You’re ridiculous, oh my God. Shy on camera _my ass_.  What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that it was too fucking hot in that house.” He chuckles softly as he fondly looks at the picture. “Damn…I can't even remember who took this picture. All I remember is that Ymir shoved me back to her guest room and put me to bed.” Reiner locks his phone and drops it into his lap before smiling bitterly. “God…I’m kind of a mess, aren’t I?”

“We’ve all had our moments…” Bertholdt nuzzles closer and shuts his eyes, still slightly drowsy.

“Hey, Bertl?”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s more than a month away but, you wanna come to my place for Thanksgiving? It’s only just me and Ma anymore. I bet she'd like to see you again.” _Doubt it._ Bertholdt hums softly at the thought before coming to a realization based on a few things Reiner had mentioned the night before.

“Reiner?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re still not out, are you?” Reiner sighs before leaning down to kiss Bertholdt's forehead.

“That’s pretty much a one-way ticket to the curb for me. So no, she doesn’t know I’m gay. You’d have to just come as a 'friend'.” Bertholdt hums softly.

“As much as I dislike the thought of you lying to your mother, I understand. I’d love to have Thanksgiving with you guys.” Bert smiles sweetly but he's actually quite nervous. _As long as I won't have to be there for long._

“It'll only be for a few hours. Then we can take my car somewhere and make out or something.” The blond grins wide. “I’m not planning on hiding forever though…I’m just waiting until coming out won’t directly affect my well-being.” Bertholdt nods in full understanding. It had been hard enough for him to come out to his parents and they aren’t even particularly religious. He can’t imagine what it’ll be like for Reiner but he has a feeling that it’s not going to end well. “Everything’s going to work out, I promise.” Bertholdt hopes Reiner is right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the dumpster fire that is this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few unexpected accidents press Reiner to make tough decisions.

The next few weeks pass smoothly. Reiner’s grades have been coming up and he doesn’t need much help with his homework anymore. Bertholdt wishes he could say the same for himself. His exams have been killing his grades. He's going to need to pull better grades than C's to get a shot at transferring out of first-year veterinary and into his concentration.

Bertholdt's been studying hard for his comparative anatomy exam. He looks up at the clock. _4 am_. If he doesn’t get any sleep, the studying he's done won’t make a difference. Bertholdt decides it’s time for bed. He flips his desk light off before walking over to the bed and slipping in behind Reiner, who's long asleep by now. It doesn’t take long for Bert to fall into a deep slumber.

 

* * *

 

Bertholdt is woken up by the shrill sound of Reiner's phone ringing throughout the quiet room. He groans as he opens his eyes. The faint blue light filtering through the blinds indicates that the sun is just beginning to rise and he hasn't been asleep for long. Reiner is still sound asleep. Bertholdt nudges his leg with a foot and he stirs slightly. “Hey, phone's ringing.” Reiner groans as he slowly comes to. He reaches for his phone, missing a few times before finally succeeding in retrieving it from the nightstand.

Reiner answers groggily. “Hello…?” Bertholdt tries to pick up on the tone of the voice on the other end of the line and it sounds uncomfortably professional. He feels Reiner’s muscles stiffen and quickly becomes worried. “Yeah, uhh…yeah, I’ll be there. Give me like, twenty minutes. Okay, thank you. Goodbye.” Reiner sits up as he speaks and Bertholdt places a hand on the blond’s arm.

“What’s up, everything okay?” Reiner stands and heads to the closet to fish out a hoodie and a pair of clean pants.

“No, uhh…not really I don't think so.” He dresses quickly. Bertholdt realizes he's a little shaken up so he doesn’t press for an explanation. Reiner checks his hair in the mirror and decides to throw the hood of his sweatshirt up instead of taking the time to fix it. “Ma’s been in an accident, gotta head over to the hospital. I'll let you know if I'll be back tonight.” Bertholdt nods as Reiner grabs his keys and wallet from the nightstand before bending down to give him a quick kiss. He leaves without another word.

 

* * *

 

Bertholdt lays in bed for the next few hours. He’s worried about Reiner and has been holding onto his phone since his boyfriend had left, hoping for an update. The blond had left at around eight, meaning Bertholdt has only had about four hours of sleep. He knows he should get some shut-eye before his exam later but can't bear the thought of missing an important text from Reiner.  He decides to turn his notification volume up and sets an alarm for two hours prior to his exam before rolling onto his side and falling asleep.

The first time Bertholdt's alarm goes off, he snoozes it. The beeping returns five minutes later and he groans before throwing an arm over his eyes to shield them from the afternoon sun. Bertholdt stretches his legs out with a yawn before sitting up to turn off his alarm. He has a missed text from Reiner.

“Reiner<3: should be back around eight, kind of busy so I’ll talk to you then” Bert doesn’t bother to reply since Reiner is more than likely dealing with a lot at the moment. He rubs his eyes sleepily before throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting there for a moment. Reiner's mom is pretty much all he has. Bertholdt hopes she's alright. Reiner hadn’t exactly told him the details of her accident but he's hoping it wasn’t too bad.

Bertholdt stands and heads to his closet to change clothes before microwaving a cup of ramen. He sits down to eat as he tries to get some extra studying in for his exam but finds it hard to concentrate. He picks up his phone and twists it in his hand as he contemplates texting Reiner. He tells himself that he shouldn’t since Reiner is busy but he ultimately gives in to the temptation. He sends his boyfriend a single heart before setting his phone back down on the desk. He checks the time and decides that studying won’t help him now. Bert grabs his jacket and his backpack before heading out to walk to his exam, making sure to lock the door behind himself.  

Bert gets to the exam right on time and takes a seat near the edge of the lecture hall. He takes his time and surprisingly feels good about the work he's done. He makes sure to check over his answers a few times before turning his exam in to the instructor at the front of the room and walking back to the dorm. Bertholdt eyes the spot where Reiner usually parks his truck and feels a small burst of excitement once he sees it’s there. He heads up to their room to find Reiner sitting on the bed next to a packed duffel. He looks tired. “Hey, everything alright?”

Reiner hums softly, smiling a bit before standing to hug Bertholdt. “Yeah, I think so. Ma got in a wreck on the way home from work this morning but it wasn’t anything super serious. She’s got a broken arm and a fractured leg…” Reiner is still holding him and Bertholdt has a feeling there's more coming. “Bertl… I'm all she has. I think I'm going to have to live at home for a while. Until she's better.” Bert nods as he feels Reiner hold him tighter. Bertholdt pulls back to look at his boyfriend.

“How long? Are you pulling out of your housing contract?” Reiner rests his head on Bertholdt's chest. He doesn’t want to leave him but knows it’s necessary for his mother’s sake.

“Doc says it’ll take between six and eight weeks for her leg to heal and her arm should be fine by then. I’m just helping her out until she's capable of being independent again so no, I shouldn’t have to pull out of my housing contract. Ma should be all healed up sometime around the end of November if everything goes well so I might just wait until after Thanksgiving to come back.”

“What about your classes?” The blond sighs softly.

“Most of my classes post their lectures online and I only have one that takes attendance. I’ve already worked something out with the professor for that class. She’s going to let me do all of my work online as long as I can keep up and get everything turned in on time. I’ve decided I’m going to just drive to campus for my labs each week since there's no way around going to them.” Bertholdt nods as he runs a hand through the blond’s hair.

“Do you think you'll be able to keep up?”

“Yeah, I hope so.”

“You’ll call me if you need help, right?”

“Yeah.” Bertholdt rests his chin on top of Reiner's head.

“Where’s your mom now?”

“She’s asleep at home, should be out for a while. We've had a busy day.” Bertholdt hums softly.

“Yeah, I bet.” The brunet shifts slightly in an attempt to break free from Reiner’s embrace. His backpack is growing heavy on the shoulder its been hanging from and his legs are getting stiff from standing still for so long.

“Bertl…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to leave you.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly.

“Yeah, I know. But you've gotta go help your mom, okay? I'll be fine by myself for a few weeks, I promise.” Reiner nods silently before pulling back.

“I’ll try to call at least once a day. If I can get some privacy, that is. Being confined to a wheelchair won’t even keep Ma from being nosy.” Reiner chuckles softly before leaning up to press a soft kiss against Bert's lips. “Maybe you could drop by sometime?” Bertholdt smiles in return.

“Maybe. It could be like the good old days, y’know? You invite me over and I never talk and avoid eye contact with your mom because I’m secretly afraid of her.” Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“Hey, she's not as scary as you've always thought. She’s just…different.” Different is right. Bertholdt vaguely remembers the few times he'd been over to Reiner's while they were in middle school. The walls of his house had been adorned with crosses and framed paintings of Jesus- whose eyes seemed to follow your every move. A copy of the Bible could be found in every room. Bert distinctly remembers Reiner's mother's piercing stare that had never failed to make him feel uneasy. After the first few times of visiting, Bertholdt had suggested that they go to his house from then on and Reiner had quickly agreed, eager to get his hands on some of Bert's mom's award-winning snickerdoodles.

Bert sets his backpack down beside him before wrapping his arms around Reiner in a final embrace. “You should get going. Go home and get some sleep. I’ll text you.” Reiner smiles before stepping away to grab his duffel bag.

“Alright, see you later?”

“See you later.” Bertholdt smiles as he firmly presses a kiss to Reiner's forehead before the blond heads out the door. Once Reiner leaves, Bertholdt sits on the edge of their bed in silence. His heart swells and he wishes he could’ve told Reiner how much he really means to him. Bert pulls out his phone and opens his messages with his boyfriend. He types out a simple message: “I love you.”. Bert stares at the message for a while before deciding he should stop messing around before it has a chance to bite him in the butt.

He smiles before switching over to his messages with Annie. “Hey, emergency. Need to talk asap.” It’s a little late so it might take her a while to reply, especially since she never keeps her phone with her. Bert's stomach growls and he holds his hand over it with a frown. His phone buzzes in his pocket as he crosses the room to sit at his desk. To his surprise, Annie has already replied.

“Annie: Sup, bud? You in trouble?”

“No, not at all. Was just about to order a pizza. I know it’s late but if you’re free I’d like for you to stop by. Maybe bring Armin along. It’s important.”

“Annie: ahh, I see. About Reiner?”

“Yeah”

“Annie: alright, I’ll see if Armin's busy. Be there in a bit.” Bertholdt smiles before dialing the number for his usual pizza place and ordering a large pepperoni. About fifteen minutes later, he gets a call from Annie.

“Hey Bert, about there. Need you to let us up.” Bertholdt smiles as he grabs his jacket and shrugs it on.

“Alright, I’ll be down. Pizza should be here soon too. See you in a sec.” He shuts the door behind himself before making his way down to the lobby. Bertholdt receives a call from the delivery driver about the same time he reaches the elevator lobby. He answers with a smile and lets the person on the other end of the line know he'll be right down, grateful for their perfect timing. He heads down and grabs the pizza before greeting Annie and Armin and leading them up to the room.

Bert sets the pizza on his desk once inside. Annie gives a long whistle as she looks around. “Damn, fancy…” The corner of Bertholdt's lip pulls up into a half grin.

“Yeah, it was Reiner's idea.” He digs out a couple of plates for his guests as they sit at the end of the bed. Armin pipes up as he makes himself comfortable.

“He really did a great job, Bert…what’s he up to right now?” Bertholdt sighs as he plates up some pizza before handing each plate to the two blondes on his bed.

“That’s kind of why I asked you guys to come here…there’s been an accident.” Armin scoots closer to the edge of the bed.

“Oh god, is Reiner okay?”

“Physically yeah, but mentally…not so sure.” Bertholdt sits down on the bed across from Annie and Armin. “His mom was in a wreck this morning. She broke a couple bones and he's moving back home for a while to help her out.” Armin takes a big bite of pizza and chews slowly, swallowing before he speaks.

“You think it might trigger his memories?” Bertholdt nods in response. “Is there any way you can still keep an eye on him? Visit often? Maybe help out with his mom or something?” Annie snorts and the attention is turned to her.

“Yeah, that’ll be easy.” Armin shakes his head before giving Annie a confused look.

“What’s up? What’s with the snort and the ever-so-present sarcasm?”

“You’ve never met Reiner's mom, have you?” Armin hums softly.

“No, I’m afraid not. What’s so bad about her?” Annie’s gaze shifts to Bertholdt and he squirms somewhat uncomfortably. He rubs his hands on the fabric of his pants before turning his attention to Armin.

“She’s always been somewhat of a fanatic…In our past lives for the government but now she’s got a thing for religion. Don't even get me started on her obsession with the thought of Reiner's father returning.” Armin hums as he digests the new information.

“Is he? Coming back, I mean.” Bertholdt chuckles somewhat bitterly.

“Of course not. She would always put the weight of it on Reiner as if it were his responsibility to make his family whole again. Thankfully, he came to his senses and abandoned that hope long ago.” Annie wipes her greasy hands on her pants and clears her throat before speaking up.

“She tried to radicalize him pretty early on and he could be kind of weird at times when we were younger. Thank God none of it really stuck. Of course, he's still probably pretty fucked up from it, just really good at hiding it.” Annie directs her attention to Bert. “If I’m not mistaken, that’s one of the reasons you decided not to keep in touch after you moved, right?” Bertholdt is silent as he nods slowly. Armin crosses the room to grab another slice of pizza before returning to his spot on the bed.

“That’s awful…I really had no idea. He’s just so happy all the time. Or I guess, pretty good at acting happy.” Bertholdt nods before pulling his knees to his chest.

“He always has been…” Armin leans a little closer before resting a reassuring hand on Bert's shoulder.

“Just try to talk to him often and if anything seems off, look into it and let us know, alright? We’re here to help.” Armin smiles sweetly and Bertholdt does his best to return it.

“Alright. Thank you.” Armin and Annie both assure him that it isn’t a problem and it’s the least they can do for their friends. Bertholdt suddenly feels grateful to have the both of them around. He can’t imagine what it would be like to go through this experience alone.

After a few more minutes of conversing, Annie realizes how late it’s getting and announces that she should get going. Armin agrees and they help Bertholdt clean up before heading to the door. Bertholdt leads them to the elevator lobby and says his goodbyes as they leave. He heads back to his room and closes the door with a sigh. Bert hasn’t really been entirely alone since him and Reiner had started their relationship and now it feels somewhat odd. He knows alone time is good and that being together too often could be the death of a relationship but he still can’t help thinking about Reiner.

He shuts off the light before walking to the edge of the bed and flopping back with a dull thud. It’s been a few hours since Reiner had left and the blond _had_ mentioned that he'd be texting him later. Bertholdt grabs his phone and squints at the screen before turning the brightness down. He doesn’t have any texts but figures it wouldn’t hurt to text his boyfriend first.

Bertholdt opens his texts with Reiner and feels his heart drop as soon as the messages appear. He had forgotten to erase the message from earlier and it seems that his finger must’ve slipped when he had switched text logs to message Annie.

“I love you.” Sent and delivered at 8:52 pm. Read at 9:28 pm. _Nearly an hour ago now_. Bertholdt's heart hammers in his chest as his face grows hot. He fidgets nervously as he tries to figure out a way to play it off. He types out a quick message, allowing the autocorrect to fix any mistakes caused by his shaking hands.

“Sorry, that was meant for my mom.” He decides to tack an extra message to the end to hopefully draw Reiner’s attention away from his mistake. “How’s your first night home been so far?” Bertholdt sighs and hopes that Reiner will buy his excuse.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner helps his mom after her accident and ends up taking a big step in defining his relationship with Bertholdt.

Reiner parks his truck in its old spot in the driveway before shutting his headlights off and tipping his head back against the headrest with a sigh. He doesn’t want to go in, not yet. It’s not that he doesn’t _want_ to be home, it’s just that things had gotten so good with Bertholdt lately and it had been hard to leave him. Reiner removes his key from the ignition before stepping out into the cool night air. He thinks about how he and Bertholdt eat together and sleep together and do well, practically everything together every day. They haven’t been apart from each other for more than a few hours at a time over the past month. Reiner knows it’s not healthy. This time apart should be good for the both of them.

Reiner opens the door slowly and lays his keys on the table beside the doorway. He locks the door after closing it behind himself and turns to hang his coat on one of the hooks hanging from the wall. He kicks his shoes off onto the mat beneath the coat rack before peeking into the living room. “Ma? You awake?” When she doesn’t answer Reiner rounds the couch to find her sleeping peacefully, probably mostly due to the painkillers the doctor had given her.

He smiles before pulling a blanket from the back of the recliner and throwing it over her. Reiner heads towards the kitchen, a shiver running down his spine as he walks past the shrine in the hall.  He looks up at the new paintings hanging on the wall before blowing out the candles beneath them. Reiner doesn’t have any issues with religion and even considers himself a pretty spiritual person (despite the negative feelings associated with the years of attempting to stave off his mother's toxic teachings) but he’s realized that his mother may be just a _little_ out of hand.

Although he’s only been gone for a few months, the house has begun to feel oddly different – not as welcoming as it once was – and Reiner wonders if this is how everyone else feels when they come over. He hopes that isn’t the case. He turns to the fridge before fishing through and finding some lunch meat and cheese. He makes a sandwich and wraps it in a paper towel before making his way up the stairs to his room. Reiner leaves the bedroom door open in case his mom wakes up and calls for him.

He flops back onto his bed as he eats his sandwich, taking the time to stare absentmindedly at the ceiling. He begins to think about all of the things he needs to do and starts to become anxious. It’s already eight-thirty and he still needs to unpack, shower, and complete four assignments for classes the next day and there's no telling what kind of issues his homework will present. Reiner sighs before scarfing down the rest of his sandwich and turning to the duffel bag sitting at the end of his bed.

He unzips the bag before digging through and sorting his clothes into piles. When he lifts a pair of underwear from the bag, a crumpled slip of paper falls out with it and lands on the floor. Reiner leans down to pick it up and flips it over to inspect it. It's Bert’s camming information. He must’ve accidentally grabbed it in his rush to pack. The blond feels his cheeks grow warm and he quickly tucks the paper into the top drawer of his nightstand for safe keeping.

Reiner tucks his clothes into their respective drawers of his dresser and hangs his shirts in the closet before kicking the duffel under his bed. He's about to carry his toiletries to the bathroom when he hears his phone buzzing from atop the nightstand. _Probably Bertl._ He reaches for the phone with a smile and opens the message.

“Bertl<3<3<3: I love you.” Reiner feels his heart drop. _A mistake, it’s gotta be a mistake_. His stomach flips and he decides that it’s best to ignore the message for the time being. _Love? Is it really love? It can't be._ Reiner pushes the thought to the back of his mind as he tosses his phone onto the bed, grabbing his toiletries before quickly heading to the bathroom. He sets his toiletries down in their spot next to the sink before kicking the door closed and stripping down. He makes sure to shower quickly just in case his mother wakes up. She’s been in and out for the past few hours and he wants to make sure he can be there for her if she needs him.

Reiner towels off before crossing the hall to his room so he can change, still avoiding the thought of Bertholdt's text. Once dressed, he grabs his laptop, charger, and backpack before heading down to the living room. He flips on the lamp next to the recliner before sitting down. The blond finishes his calculus and technical writing homework without any issues. After completing his first two assignments, he takes a moment to stretch.

Reiner finds his mind wandering back to the text. He's not used to being told that he's loved by anyone other than his mother or Ymir when she’s drunk. It’s an odd feeling. All of his other 'relationships' have been centered around physical attraction and lust alone. There's no doubt in his mind that he lusts after Bertholdt and he knows that he feels a strong connection with the other man, but love? He isn’t so sure he's ready to admit it. Not quite yet. He opens the message and stares at it for a moment. Reiner is about to type out a response when a message comes through on the other end.

“Bertl<3<3<3: Sorry, that was meant for my mom.” Reiner stares at the message for a second. A wave of disappointment washes over him as he realizes the message from earlier wasn’t actually meant for him. Another comes almost immediately after. “Bertl<3<3<3: How's your first night home been so far?” Reiner silently stares at the messages. _If I reply right away, he’ll know I already had the messages open_. He spaces out as he thinks about what he should do. A soft voice breaks him out of his trance.

“Reiner, sweetie?” He pulls his attention away from his phone to look towards his mother.

“Yeah, ma?” He wonders how long she's been awake and starts to feel a little defensive. He's not sure why. It’s not like she can read his thoughts or anything.

“I’m parched. Could you get me a glass of water?” Reiner nods as he sets his laptop down on the floor beside the recliner before heading to the kitchen, returning with a cold glass of water. He sets it down on the coffee table and helps his mom sit upright before helping her take a drink. She smiles and thanks him before reaching for the glass with her good arm.

“Are you feeling alright? Do you need anything else?”

“Just starting to feel sore again, that's all…I might need a couple more pills.” Reiner nods before heading to the kitchen to grab the bottle of ibuprofen. She’s already had one of her stronger painkillers today and Reiner's been trying to limit her. The last thing he needs is for his mother to overdose or become dependent on prescription painkillers. He comes back with two pills in the palm of his hand and hands them to her before sitting back down in the recliner. She hums softly as she takes her medication before returning her attention to her son. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing much, just homework.” Reiner shrugs as he picks his laptop back up and opens his programming assignment. It’s silent for a few moments and Reiner assumes that the conversation is over. His mother hums a tune softly, something Reiner assumes to be a hymn of some sort.

“I was really quite reluctant at first to let you go to that godless university…” She looks at her son and sighs softly as she notices a healthy glow radiating from him. “…but it really seems like it’s doing you well.” Reiner tries not to roll his eyes. Before he had chosen a school, he'd gotten a hefty lecture about the link between scientific institutions and the teachings of “that which is ungodly”. He assumes his mother had meant the concept of evolution or any other scientific theory that could possibly disprove the existence of a higher being. He simply nods before returning to his assignment. Reiner can still feel his mother's eyes on him and shifts somewhat uncomfortably. “You haven’t told me much, just things about your studies so far. How is everything else?” Karina smiles softly. Reiner realizes that he really _hasn’t_ told her very much and begins to feel guilty.

“Everything else has been pretty alright so far…I’ve made some new friends and joined the robotics club.” He quickly thinks up a quick lie to please his mother a little more. “I also go to a campus youth group every Wednesday.” His mother hums softly before sitting up further.

“Sounds interesting…you’ll have to show me the things you do some time. Does the youth group do anything fun?” She doesn’t really seem all too interested in the robotics side of things. Reiner does his best to formulate a response.

“We uhh…we’ve provided meals for the less fortunate…we also run programs to uhh…lead others to the light of God and away from temptations such as alcohol and drug abuse and promiscuity.” Reiner plasters a smile on his face before shifting uncomfortably. Shit. He's building this lie up too far. Karina smiles wide.

“That’s wonderful. I’m so proud of you for doing the blessed work of the Lord!” Reiner tries not to cringe. Being away from his mother for so long has made him realize how over-the-top she actually is. “What about your roommate, is he involved as well? A nice kid, I’m hoping?” Reiner smiles as he realizes he hadn’t even told her.

“Oh yeah! I must’ve forgotten. Do you remember Bertholdt? We used to hang out a lot in middle school until he ended up moving away.” Karina nods, indicating that she remembers. She had always thought of him as a strange child although she could never actually pinpoint why. He had always seemed so nervous around her. Reiner continues, becoming joyful at the chance to talk about Bert. “We ended up getting assigned to each other.”

Reiner's mother smiles sweetly. “That must’ve been nice to get to catch up after all those years. When you asked if your roommate could have Thanksgiving dinner with us, I hadn’t realized it would be a familiar face. Did he ever go through that growth spurt he always swore would happen?” Reiner chuckles softly.

“Oh yeah, definitely. He's even taller than me now.”

“Oh, my! That really must’ve been quite the growth spurt!” Karina laughs softly and for some reason, Reiner feels a wave a relief wash over him. Somewhere along the way, their conversation had made him feel a bit tense. “What’s he majoring in?”

“Veterinary. He really has a way with animals.”

“I can see that...It suits him. He's a sweet boy.” Reiner nods in agreement, his heart beginning to swell with admiration for his boyfriend. The room is comfortably silent for a few moments until his mother clears her throat to speak again. “How’s that Krista of yours doing? You haven’t said much about her lately.”

Oh, right. Krista. Reiner had almost forgotten that his mother still believes they’re together. “She’s uhh…she’s doing fine. Nothing much has changed.” He smiles at her reassuringly.

“You’re not having premarital sex are you?” _Oh dear god_.

“No, no. Of course not, Ma. You know I know better.” It’s not the first time she's asked so Reiner is more than prepared to answer. She nods in acceptance of his response. Reiner returns to his homework, eager to cut the conversation short as he becomes uncomfortable again. He hopes the pain meds will cause his mother to fall asleep soon.

He hears her humming again as he finishes up his assignments and turns them in. Reiner looks up at his mother to find her curled beneath the blanket, eyes half closed. “Ma, I’m going to head off to bed. Is there anything else you'll need?” Karina opens an eye fully to look at her son.

“No, I should be fine…just keep the volume up on your phone so I can call you in case I need help getting to the bathroom.” Reiner nods as he collects his things. He bends to kiss his mother on the forehead before heading for the stairs.

“Night ma, love you.”

“Love you, sweetie. Night.” Reiner is halfway up the stairs when he realizes he'd never texted Bertholdt back. He hopes he's still awake. Reiner shuts his door behind him when he reaches his room before setting his things down on the desk. He shuts off the light and climbs into bed before picking his phone up and opening his messages.

“Not bad, really. How've you been?” As Reiner waits for a response, he realizes just how empty his bed feels without Bert there. After a minute of waiting, Reiner lays his phone on his stomach and stares at the ceiling through the dark. Another three minutes pass and when he feels his phone buzzing against his stomach, he all but lunges for it.

“Bertl<3<3<3: I’ve been pretty good. Hard to sleep without you here.”

“Same. Can I call?” Moments later, a call from Bertholdt presents itself across his phone's screen. Reiner smiles, his heart pounding as he answers. He makes sure to be quiet, paranoid that his mother may somehow be able to hear his conversation.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey there…I miss you” Reiner can tell Bertholdt’s got that goofy grin on his face that he gets every time he calls him “baby”.

“I miss you too…a lot colder without my walking space heater of a boyfriend here to keep me warm.” Bertholdt laughs softly and Reiner can't help but smile.

“Oh, hush. You're a lot warmer than you think you are too, y’know?”

“Are you saying that I'm…hot?” Reiner grins wide as the words leave his mouth. He hears a noise come from Bert that is somewhere between embarrassed and frustrated.

“Yeah…” Reiner chuckles softly at Bert's embarrassment. The other end of the line is silent for a moment and Reiner thinks Bert must've fallen asleep. As Reiner lays in the dark, he begins to imagine his boyfriend’s face. His mind pieces together the soft curve of Bert's jawline and his prominent cheekbones. And then come his lips, which are always softer than they look, and his nose with the slight hook that he knows Bertholdt hates. And finally, his eyes. Those soft and inviting and absolutely _gorgeous_ green eyes that Reiner can never bring himself to look away from. Reiner's mind trails further to the other man's gentle but deep voice and his simply intoxicating laugh which causes his heart to flutter in his chest.

Reiner quickly comes to the realization that he loves this man. In this moment, he's not sure how there was ever a doubt in his mind. Although the “confession” from earlier wasn’t actually a confession, Reiner finds himself wanting to express his feelings. His heart rate picks up as he begins to think about it more. _Is this something I should do over the phone? How should I even go about this?_ His breath hitches slightly as his anxiety becomes more apparent. Bertholdt must not have been asleep because he catches it.

“Reiner? You alright?”

“Mm…yeah.” Reiner finds it hard to speak.

“Are you sure? You sound troubled…”

“Bertl, I…” He's too nervous. He can’t say it.

“You what?”

“I…haveverystrongfeelingsforyou.” It's not quite what he wanted to say but it comes out in a long, incoherent string and Reiner isn’t so sure if Bertholdt could even understand him. Bert takes a moment to attempt to pick apart what Reiner had said.

“I’m sorry, I’m not quite sure I understand what you said.” Bert laughs nervously. Reiner becomes so nervous he thinks he might puke. He takes a deep breath before finally working up enough courage to say what he has been trying to say all along.

“Bertholdt...I love you.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner takes care of his mother while trying his best to avoid her intense questioning.

Bertholdt can feel his heart hammering in his chest. He had caught what Reiner had said the first time but he wasn’t so sure the “strong feelings” he had referred to were those of love. Apparently, that was the case. Bert is silent for a few moments too long and he can tell it’s making Reiner nervous.  “Reiner, I…” the brunet takes a deep breath that is surely audible on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I uhh…I love you too.” He hears Reiner give a relieved sigh.

“Oh thank God, I thought I’d scared you off.” Bertholdt laughs, still slightly nervous. “So…love, huh?”

Bert hums softly “Yeah...love. Listen, I...I have to come clean…I may have lied earlier.” He clears his throat nervously. “That first text really was for you. I mean, it wasn’t, I-I hadn’t meant to send it and I did it accidentally but…it was directed towards you.”

“I’m kind of glad you accidentally sent it…it really got me thinking.” Bertholdt can tell that Reiner is speaking through a smile.

“I was so mortified once I had realized I had sent it. I couldn’t even believe that you had bought that dumb excuse.” Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m just a _little_ dense. But... it still didn’t keep me from overthinking it…” Reiner trails off as he hears a dull thump from somewhere in the house. “Be right back, I think I heard something.” Reiner sets his phone on the nightstand before cautiously tiptoeing to his door. He peeks down the hall both ways and finds nothing. He decides to head down the stairs to check on his mother. She's sleeping soundly on the couch and nothing is out of place. He sighs softly before heading back up the stairs and climbing into bed before returning to his call. “Everything’s good. I must be hearing things.”

Bertholdt figures Reiner is probably a bit paranoid at the moment seeing as he's having an intimate phone call with his boyfriend in a household that is less than welcoming to anything LGBT. The brunet sighs softly before rolling over. “I’ve got a class at seven thirty. I think I should call it a night.” Reiner hums softly.

“Alright, yeah. I’ll let you go. Goodnight, I…I love you.” The words fall on his ears softly and Bert smiles.

“Night, Reiner. I love you too.” It’s silent for a moment before a tone sounds to indicate that the call has ended.

 

* * *

 

Reiner wakes up earlier than he had intended, around six. His phone hadn’t rung once so he's assuming his mother had slept throughout the night. The blond sends Bert a quick good morning text before slowly sitting up and stretching. He sits on the edge of the bed as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. Reiner groggily walks to the bathroom to relieve himself and clean up before heading downstairs. The first thing he does is check on his mom.

She’s still sleeping silently. Reiner notices a pillow had fallen from its spot beneath her leg and puts it back in place before heading to the kitchen to rummage through the fridge. He finds some ham and a carton of eggs but other than that, it looks pretty empty. He'll have to pick up groceries sometime soon. Reiner pops a couple of pieces of ham into the microwave as he cooks his eggs. When he’s finished, he heads to the living room to eat in silence.

Reiner doesn’t bother to turn the tv on because he knows that the only thing waiting for him is a long list of televangelist channels. That's how it’s been for most of his life. It was hard trying to fit in when he was younger since his mother would only allow him to watch _The Veggie Tales_ and other Christ-based children’s shows. Of course, when he would go to friends' houses he would make sure to catch the latest episodes of the hot new cartoons that he wasn’t allowed to watch at home. Once he had reached middle school, she had let up a little bit and let him watch sports. She had even gotten him a laptop with which he had learned to stream shows and movies from the internet.

It didn’t take Reiner long after that to discover porn but when he did it was like he was living in a whole new world. He had made sure to show Bert the next time he had come over, to which the timid brunet replied with an embarrassed squeak and a hushed explanation of “No, no you don’t open that stuff here. You open it _here_.” before showing him the incognito tab. He hadn’t really questioned why or how Bertholdt had known that. Reiner isn’t sure if his mother had ever looked at his browser history but he's still thankful that Bert had helped him out.

Reiner smiles bitterly as he finishes his breakfast. He doesn’t like to think of his childhood as a sad one because it could’ve been much worse but looking back at it makes him feel uneasy. He wonders what he would be like today if he had continued to obey his mother. He looks up to find her staring at him.

“Morning, you're up awfully early.” Reiner hums softly.

“Yeah, I’ve got a lab at eleven today so I figured I'd get some stuff out of the way before going.” Karina nods, a faint smile coming across her face as she eyes her son.

“I’m surprised. You were up awfully late last night…” The blond nods slowly, hoping he isn’t coming off as nervous in any way. “What were you up to?”

“Yeah, sorry if I kept you up…I was just uhh…talking to Krista.” He smiles before turning back to the food on his plate.

“That late into the night?” Reiner shrugs as he continues to eat. “You know how I feel about those kinds of things…nothing good ever happens after midnight.”

“Sorry ma, won’t happen again.” Karina nods before smiling and closing her eyes as she leans against the arm of the couch.

“Reiner, I love you. I’m sorry if I’m hard on you but I just want you to live a pure life.” Reiner nods in response before standing to take his plate to the kitchen.

“Yeah ma, I know.” He has a feeling that his time at home is going to feel a lot longer than he wants it to. He hurries off to the kitchen, unsure of what else his mother might decide to bring up. Reiner washes his plate and fork off before leaving them to dry. There’s no use in washing them in the dishwasher since it’ll take days to accumulate enough dirty dishes for a full load. “Ma, you hungry? Want anything?”

“Just heat up a breakfast sandwich from the freezer, that’ll be fine.” Reiner hears the television come on as he's preparing his mother's breakfast. He knows he should sit with her but he isn’t sure how long he'll be able to stand the channel she’s watching. When her food's done he brings the plate to her with a smile before giving her one of her prescription pills.

“I wasn’t sure if you were hurting yet or not so just take it whenever you're ready, okay?” Karina thanks her son with a smile as she sets the pill down on the end table next to the half-empty glass of water from the night before. He quietly heads upstairs to get dressed before coming back down with his things for class. Reiner sits in the recliner as he had the night before and starts on his class work for the day. “We should go to the store after my lab, the kitchen is looking a little bare.”

Karina smiles sweetly “That sounds nice but maybe I should just stay here. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”

“Ma, you're not a burden. I really enjoy shopping with you.” Reiner smiles as he sets his work down in his lap. “I wouldn’t even know how to if it weren’t for you. You’ve taken care of me and now it’s my turn to take care of you.” His mother hums softly.

“Alright, I guess I'll come with you.” Reiner listens to the roar of the crowd on the television as he works. It isn’t really what he would prefer but background noise is background noise and he'll take what he can get.

It's time for him to leave for chemistry lab by the time he's finished about half of his assignments for the day and has helped his mother get around the house. He resituates her on the couch after wheeling her back from the bathroom before heading toward the kitchen to refill her glass of water. She takes it with a smile before taking a small sip. Karina sets the water down on the table beside the sofa and reaches for the pill that Reiner had left her earlier.

Reiner smiles, somewhat thankful that she'll be asleep for most of the time that he's gone. If she’s sleeping there’s less of a chance for something bad to happen. “I’ll be back in about two hours and then we can head to the store if you’re still feeling up to it, alright Ma?” His mother hums softly in agreement. Reiner tugs a blanket over her legs and kisses her on the forehead before heading to the front door. Karina listens as he puts on his shoes and coat.

“Bye sweetie, drive safe.” Reiner smiles as he fastens the last button on his coat.

“Bye Ma, I will. Love you.” He grabs his keys and heads out the door after his mother returns his affections. Reiner hops in the truck and turns the heat up before making his way back to campus. On the drive, he resists the urge to touch the cigarettes he had locked away in his glove box the night before. He knows that if he smokes now there’s no way to hide it from his mother. Reiner doesn’t feel like being lectured when he gets home so he pushes the urge away, opting to chew on the inside of his cheek instead.

Reiner's cheek is sore by the time he gets to the lab building. He searches the parking lot for an open space and pulls in before quickly walking inside. He’s running a few minutes late and hopes that the lab instructor hasn’t locked him out yet. Reiner sighs silently as he turns the knob and it gives. He quietly makes his way back to his seat, attempting not to draw attention to himself even though he knows the instructor has surely noticed.

His lab partner, a cute and calm girl whose name he's forgotten, greets him before explaining the lab procedure. Reiner nods and apologizes for being late as he fishes his safety goggles and a pair of gloves from his bag. He gets to work quickly and makes up for anything he had missed. Reiner offers to complete most of the lab report to make up for his tardiness, to which his partner thankfully accepts. He's noticed the lab instructor eyeing him throughout the duration of the lab so far and has a sinking feeling he's going to be confronted before he has a chance to leave.

Once the report has been completed Reiner and his lab partner - whose name he has discovered to be Pieck - check over it multiple times to make sure that each question has been answered exactly right. Once Pieck is satisfied, she slowly makes her way up to the front of the room to hand the paper in before saying a quick goodbye to Reiner and leaving.

Reiner packs up his things, moving quickly in hopes that he will be able to dodge his instructor. He can sense her approaching and knows there’s no avoiding it. “A little late today are we, Reiner?”

“Yeah…sorry about that, Dr. Zoe. It won’t happen again.” The instructor smiles softly.

“Don’t worry about it. I know you’re going through some stuff right now so I’ll make a few exceptions. Just don’t make it a habit, alright? The department will have my head if they think I’m playing favorites.” She points towards her assistant, Moblit, at the front of the room before lowering her voice. “Mainly just him.” Moblit has become known to the class as Dr. Zoe's “babysitter”. Reiner's heard more than enough rumors about the crazy experiments that had taken place before Moblit arrived to believe it.

Reiner smiles before giving a polite goodbye and leaving. As he exits the building, he feels somewhat odd. He doesn't remember telling Dr. Zoe about his mother’s situation. The student services office must’ve relayed the information to her. Reiner shakes it off by the time he gets home.

When he arrives at the house he parks and gets to the front door before stopping in his tracks. Reiner walks back to his truck and retrieves the pack of cigarettes from his glove box before crushing it and tossing it into the trashcan outside. He can’t have his mother finding them if she decides to get a little nosy on the way to the store. He heads inside and makes a quick stop in the kitchen to wash his hands, hopefully eliminating any traces of tobacco.

“Reiner?” The call from the living room startles him slightly. He was hoping his mother would still be asleep Reiner heads to the living room after drying his hands off on a towel.

“Yeah, Ma?”

“I dropped my pill earlier, could you grab it for me?” The blond nods as he bends down to pick up her medication before holding it out to hand it to her. “Oh, no thanks. I’ll take it after we get back. You still wanted to go to the store, right?”

“Yeah but, you aren’t hurting, right?”

“No, not really, I should be fine.” Karina smiles sweetly as she sits up. “I just need a change of clothes and then I’ll be good to go.” Reiner nods and places the pill on the side table before walking to her bedroom to pull a blouse from the closet and a skirt with an elastic waistband from the third drawer of her dresser. He’s learned that the elastic makes it easier for her to pull the skirt over her head instead of needing help with pulling it up over her cast. He makes a stop in the hall to grab her jacket. Reiner brings the clothes back to his mother and hands them to her before turning away so she can get dressed, still making sure to stay close just in case she needs help.

When his mother lets him know she’s all done, he turns back to her to help put a shoe on her castless foot. He warns her before sliding his arms beneath her and lifting her before setting her down in the wheelchair gently. “Do you want the blanket too? It’s kind of chilly out.” Karina nods and Reiner smiles as he pulls the smaller blanket from the back of the couch before laying it across her legs. She tucks each edge between her thighs and the side of the chair. “Ready?” Karina leans forward to grab her purse from the coffee table before nodding.

“Yeah, should be all set.” He wheels her towards the door leading to the garage with a smile. This way Reiner won’t have to worry about trying to maneuver the chair down the porch steps since the garage slopes gently into the driveway. He opens the passenger side door and lifts his mother into the truck, shutting the door before folding the wheelchair up and laying it in the bed before getting in the driver's seat.

The drive to the supermarket is quiet and Reiner likes it that way. As much as he loves his mother, he can’t stand how she has the ability to change a conversation from pleasant to unbearably uncomfortable in the blink of an eye. When they arrive at the store, Reiner helps Karina out of the truck and into the chair before pushing her inside. She fishes through her purse and pulls out a slip of paper as they enter the store. She must've made a list.

Karina hands the paper to Reiner and he reads off a variety of fruits, vegetables, bread and meats along with a few household items. “You’ll be able to cook for us until I’m better, right? As long as I teach you?” Reiner smiles as his mother looks up at him.

“Yeah, I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not _that_ terrible at cooking.” Reiner is very terrible at cooking. The only things he’s ever cooked on a stove are grilled cheese and spaghetti and even then, there’s a 50/50 chance of him accidentally setting something on fire. Karina laughs softly.

“Well you certainly won’t be after I’m finished with you, that’s for sure.” Reiner smiles and shakes his head before grabbing a shopping basket and handing it to his mother. He heads to the produce section first, where Karina shows him how to correctly select fresh fruits and vegetables. They pick out a few apples and peaches along with a bag of grapes and a bunch of bananas. Reiner and his mother move to the vegetables where they get a head of lettuce, some spinach, and a couple of bell peppers. He's not exactly sure what meals his mother has planned but he can’t really see anything coming together from the ingredients they’ve picked up so far.

Next, they head to the refrigerated section where the meats and cheeses can be located to pick up some chicken breasts and hamburger meat before entering the pasta aisle for a couple boxes of dried pasta and a jar or two of tomato sauce. Reiner eyes the basket lying in his mother's lap as they make their way to the bread aisle. It’s already pretty full and they still need to grab shampoo and conditioner. He places a loaf of white bread on top of the items in the already full basket before pushing his mother across the store to the hair care aisle. Reiner doesn’t dare to look as they pass by the seasonal section that is filled to the brim with heavily discounted Halloween costumes and decorations. His mother would be sure to say something if he were to go near it since she considers Halloween to be “Satan's holiday”.

He quickly passes by the aisles before sharply turning into the aisle that he thought was home to bottles of shampoo and conditioner only to find boxes and bottles of medicine to each side of him. He whispers a silent “whoops” before starting to back out of the aisle and accidentally into who had been walking down the main aisle behind him. He hears something drop and turns quickly to pick up what seems to be a package containing a pair of fishnet stockings from the Halloween aisle. Reiner hands it to the person with a sincere apology before finally looking up to meet their eyes. It’s Bertholdt and he's wearing one of Reiner's old sweatshirts. It seems to fit him a lot better than the shirt did the night they had stayed at Ymir’s place. A wide grin spreads across Reiner's face as Bertholdt nervously tosses the package into the basket hanging from his arm.

“Who would’ve thought I’d run into you here? What’s up, Bertl?” Bertholdt smiles nervously as he eyes Reiner's mother who has her head turned slightly to look at him.

“Hey, Reiner…Ms. Braun.” He gives her a small wave before returning his free hand back to his side to worry at the hem of Reiner's sweater. “Just grabbing a few things for a first aid kit. I realized neither one of us had made on for the dorm.” He smiles at Reiner, grateful for the chance to see him. Karina turns to look at Bertholdt fully. She smiles at him sweetly.

“Bertholdt, so glad to see that growth spurt finally hit! And you’re so handsome now! I bet the ladies can’t get enough of you can they?” Bertholdt shifts uncomfortably as Reiner turns to look at his mother.

“No, they uhh…they sure can’t.”

“Is there a special lady in your life?” Bert glances at Reiner while he tries to hold back a smile.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Karina smiles and Reiner shifts uncomfortably, worried that his mother might say something that he'll soon regret.

“How nice. Do you guys go on double dates with Reiner and Krista?” Bertholdt shoots Reiner a look. _Krista?_ Reiner can feel Bert's eyes on him and he knows he’s going to have to sort this out later. Bertholdt plasters a smile on his face, still trying to maintain a polite demeanor.

“No, we haven’t yet but we should definitely plan one.” He kicks the side of Reiner's foot gently. “Anyway, I should get going. The bus'll be here soon and I would hate to have to wait for the next one. See you later, Reiner. You too, Ms. Braun.”

Karina smiles. “It was nice seeing you again, Bertholdt. And please, call me Karina.” Bertholdt waves before taking his leave and Reiner exhales, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he'd been holding. Reiner quickly makes his way to the haircare aisle and allows his mother, who is in a seemingly better mood, to pick out her shampoo and conditioner. Hopefully, she hadn’t noticed that Bertholdt had been wearing one of his sweatshirts. Once she’s finished, Reiner heads to the checkout lanes and pays. He hangs the bagged items on his arms before wheeling his mother out to the truck.

Reiner feels his phone buzzing in his pocket and he has a sinking feeling that he knows who it’s from and what it’s about. He ignores it for now. The blond helps his mother into the truck and loads the groceries into the middle seat before putting the chair away and getting in. His mother seems to be quite talkative on the way back. “That Bertholdt really is a sweet boy. Polite. His parents taught him well.” Reiner simply hums in response. “Is his girlfriend nice? Do you know her?” _Ahh yes, nosy as ever_.

“Yeah, she's nice.” He quickly thinks of a lie that will surely get him in trouble later. “She’s uhh…she’s Krista's cousin, Ymir.” Karina looks to Reiner and smiles sweetly.

“I think she should come for Thanksgiving too. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? We'll have a full table.” Reiner agrees. He doesn’t want to disappoint his mother. When they get home, he helps her inside and onto the couch before making a second trip out for the groceries. He brings everything in and puts it away before heading to the living room to check on his mother. She's already taken her pill and should be asleep soon.

“I’m gonna go ahead and go upstairs, alright? Call me if you need anything.” Karina smiles and nods.

“Alright.” Reiner pulls his phone out as he walks up the stairs and into his room to flop down on the bed. The notifications on his lock screen indicate that the text is from Bertholdt, as expected.

“Bertl<3<3<3: So a double date, huh?” Reiner sighs before typing out a quick message.

“Bertl babe, I'm sorry. I haven’t been able to tell her yet.” He waits a few minutes but doesn’t receive a reply. Reiner's scared that he's messed up. He decides to take a shower to get his mind off of it but it only does the exact opposite. He cuts the shower short, only doing what is necessary instead of taking the extra time to relax under the stream of hot water. The blond towels off and changes into a t-shirt and a fresh pair of sweatpants before heading back to his room.

Bertholdt still hasn’t replied. Reiner sighs as he lays back, running his hands through his wet hair. He rubs his eyes for a few moments before crossing his arms beneath his head as he stares at the ceiling. As his mind begins to wander, Reiner realizes that today just so happens to be a Thursday. Bertholdt is camming tonight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the camming chapter :^)

Reiner goes downstairs to make sure his mother is sleeping before heading back up to his room. He closes his door slowly and quietly. It’s getting close to eight now, the time Bert had told him he usually starts camming. The blond grabs his laptop and situates himself in the center of his bed before putting his earbuds in. He looks around nervously as if someone is able to see him, before grabbing the slip of paper from his nightstand and carefully typing the URL of the site into the incognito browser. A site with an all-black background, littered with ads claiming that their product can “make your dick longer in ten easy steps”, loads across his screen.

Reiner ignores the ads as he explores the site and discovers that he can only watch a show for a few minutes without having an account. He moves his mouse to the “register” button and quickly fills out his information. He takes a moment to think once he reaches the box requesting a username. He doesn’t want it to be weird but he also wants Bert to be able to know it’s him at first glance. He quickly types “BigBraun0801” into the box and moves on; A little awkward, he thinks, but it’s the best he can think of at the moment. Reiner chooses not to upload a picture of himself and begins to grow nervous as he finalizes the account.

Once registered, Reiner returns to the homepage before selecting the search bar and typing in Bert's username. He clicks on the first result and is met with a surprisingly innocent profile picture. Bertholdt looks carefree. He’s grinning wide, his green eyes just barely open. Reiner wonders if the genuine feel of the picture is what draws in Bert's viewers.

It's early but the show has already started. Reiner's heart skips a beat when he enters. Bertholdt is sitting in the center of their bed, fully clothed with his legs drawn to his chest and his chin resting on his knees. He's talking to someone, most likely a viewer, when a sound indicates that someone else has entered. Reiner watches Bertholdt’s eyes drift to the chat box towards the side of the screen and thinks he can see a slight blush begin to tint the taller man's cheeks.

Bertholdt continues the conversation he had been having. “Yeah, it really hasn’t been too bad though. Not until lately, at least. I just need to get into my concentration and it’s all smooth sailing from there.” He smiles as a few more people enter. “Welcome! We'll get started soon, I promise. Just waiting until eight to start.” Bertholdt continues to chat politely with his viewers. Reiner assumes that some must be regulars. A larger wave of people enter once eight hits and the count steadily increases with each passing minute. Soon Reiner is among about 300 other people waiting to watch Bertholdt undress and please himself for them. He's a little shocked. Bertholdt is more popular than he would’ve thought.

Bertholdt welcomes his new viewers before finally starting at five past eight. “Alright, tonight we'll start out at...” Bertholdt smiles and taps his finger against his lips as he thinks. “…500 tokens. I'll take off an article of clothing and the highest tip gets to choose what I take off.” He grins devilishly and Reiner has a feeling he’s about to see a side of Bertholdt that he’s never seen before. A ding sounds each time someone tips. Reiner watches as they roll in, some as small as 1 token with the highest so far being 50. He feels somewhat guilty for not tipping but notices there are quite a few others in the chatroom that also rely on regular tippers to meet the goal for them.

Bertholdt lowers his voice to whisper sultry things through the microphone as he shifts his position to lay on his stomach parallel to the laptop, making sure to push his ass out as he speaks. He trails a thumb beneath the waistband of his comfortable sweatpants to show off his sharp hip bones. Reiner doesn’t miss the new depth to his boyfriend's voice. It sends a shiver up his spine and he gulps softly before palming his hardening cock through his pants. A few messages pop up between tips.

“Hotmouth: u alwys sound so sexi”

“IEatAss: plump”

“James32: can’t wait to see what ur wearing tonite bby”

Bertholdt has accumulated roughly 200 tokens when the steady flow of tips begins to die down. Another ping sounds and Reiner's attention is drawn to the chat box. Someone has tipped exactly 500 tokens, pushing Bertholdt well over his goal. Bert's face lights up and he grins wide as he leans closer to the camera. “Thank you! Getting started early tonight, are we?”

“hungnhandsome: You know it. Do I ever disappoint?” Reiner is slightly surprised at the user's correct spelling and punctuation as he hasn’t seen very much of it here. He figures the user must be a regular; a big spender, at that. Bertholdt grins wide.

“No, of course not. What do you want me to take off for you, baby?” Reiner tries to quell the jealous feelings blooming in his chest. Bertholdt never calls him pet names. Maybe it’s because he only uses them to seduce his viewers.

“hungnhandsome: You already know what I’m after. Show me what you’ve got under those sweats.”

“hungnhandsome: Please :)”

Reiner squeezes himself in anticipation as Bertholdt’s grin turns into a sly smirk. The taller man sits up and stands before turning the laptop to face the room. He sways his hips as he walks to the center viewpoint and slips his thumbs beneath the waistband of his sweatpants. He grins as he rolls his hips slowly before turning to show off his ass, all the while keeping eye contact with the camera. He bends over and pops his ass out before slowly sliding the waistband of his pants over each cheek.

He’s wearing lacy panties and those damn fishnet stockings from earlier. Reiner's breath hitches as he notices a common theme between Bert's shows. A wave of tips come in as Bertholdt wiggles his ass slightly and even more come through when he turns around after dropping his pants completely to reveal his hard cock bulging through the fabric of his underwear. Reiner groans at the sight before sliding his hand between his sweats and underwear to squeeze his own cock firmly.

Bertholdt repositions the laptop before climbing back onto the bed. He lays on his side to face the camera, legs crossed slightly and his shirt riding up to show off his abs and the trail of hair leading from the top of his panties to his bellybutton. More viewers enter the room, surely drawn in by Bert’s lack of clothing. Bertholdt welcomes them with a smile and thanks his viewers for their atrociously-typed compliments about his body before setting his next goal.

“3,000 tokens and my panties come off. I know this goal is a little bigger but I know you guys can do it. I'll take my shirt off when we're halfway there.” Bert slides a hand down to palm his cock as he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. “We can play twenty questions to pass the time. 20 tokens per question. I'll only give you honest answers.” He smiles coyly before drawing his hand away from the front of his panties to rest on his stomach. After about half a minute, a tip comes in with a message attached.

“dikluver: when was the last time you touched urself” Bertholdt trails a hand along his side as he thinks for a moment.

“This morning before class.” Another 20 tokens come through.

“dikluver: what did u think abt” A faint blush spreads across Bertholdt’s cheeks and he pauses before answering.

“…my roommate.” A few tips roll in at the response and Reiner groans before gripping the waistband of his sweats and underwear and shimmying out of them until his cock springs free. Bert answers each question as the tips come with them.

“Sweet_Steve: does he watch?” Bertholdt chews on his lip slightly before responding.

“Not usually but…I think he might be here tonight.”

“Kitty_: have you fucked him yet” A deeper blush appears on Bertholdt's tan skin, soon spreading to his chest.

“No, not quite.” Reiner loosely wraps his hand around his dick. He wants so badly to change that answer to a “yes”.

“fck-me-senseless: can we see him yet?” Bertholdt eyes the tip total and notices he’s reached 1,500 tokens before taking a moment to seductively slide out of his shirt.

“Yeah, of course. He gave me this picture…” Bertholdt grins as he pulls the picture up on his phone before turning the screen to the camera to show his viewers the picture Reiner had sent him. The blond smirks slightly before quickly typing a message into the chat box.

“BigBraun0801: oh wow that dude's hung” He thinks he catches Bertholdt rolling his eyes until the sound of another message pulls his attention away from the man on the screen.

“hungnhandsome: Yeah he's pretty decent. But I bet I’m bigger. ;)” _Decent?_ Reiner tries not to let it hurt his pride. After all, it _is_ just some guy on the internet. What does he know? Another large tip comes through, pushing Bertholdt up to his goal. It’s the same guy from before.

“hungnhandsome: You like blondes, baby?” Reiner can’t help but feel jealous. He realizes he _really_ doesn’t like it when another guy refers to Bert as “baby”, even if it _is_ only through a chat box on a porn site.

“Yeah, I think I must have a type.” Bertholdt smirks slyly. Reiner's erection is beginning to flag due to the interaction between Bert and “hungnhandsome” but it quickly returns once Bertholdt seductively shucks off his panties and tosses them to the floor beside the bed. The taller man runs a finger along his cock before slowly pulling back his foreskin and sliding his hand around the shaft to give himself a firm tug. “You guys wanna do a toy auction tonight?” Several approvals come in through the chat box and Bertholdt hums softly before turning to hang off the bed, giving a nice view of his ass before sitting back up with a black shoebox in his hands.

He opens the box and carefully lays out an assortment of items. Among them are anal beads, a tube of lubricant, a vibrator, a cock ring, a quite impressive purple vibrating dildo, a prostate massager, a few butt plugs in different sizes, and a realistic looking dildo with a suction cup attached to the bottom. Reiner recognizes the purple toy from the time he had walked in on Bert and begins to stroke his cock slowly.

“Highest bidder picks which toy I use. If the highest bid reaches over 3,000 tokens, you can pick any combination of any of the toys and you also get a spot on my 'favorites' list.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly as he begins to lube up his fingers before teasing his entrance. He spreads his legs wide as he slips the tip of his index finger in, giving everyone in the room a great view of his ass along with his dick hanging heavy between his legs. A tip of 400 tokens comes in and Bertholdt sinks his finger deeper. “Thank you so much! Looks like the bid is starting at 400.” Bert moans softly as he drags his finger out and pushes it back in, earning him another tip of 950 tokens.

Reiner wonders if “hungnhandsome” is going to let it go before bidding the highest at the last second like he’s been doing for the duration of the show. The blond also wonders if this happens during every show. He strokes his cock slowly as he watches his boyfriend finger himself. A few more bids roll in each time the taller man makes a noise but none have gone too far above the top bid of 950. By now, Bertholdt is two fingers deep and in search of his prostate. He finds it with a yelp and a user tips 2500 tokens in response. “hungnhandsome” shows up to tip a whopping 4000 tokens. Reiner isn’t quite sure how much money tokens cost but he has a feeling these users are spending big bucks. Either Bertholdt is good at what he does or he's found the perfect audience full of men who like to play “sugar daddy”. The user from before caps the bid off at 4050 and surprisingly, “hungnhandsome” lets them have it.

Bertholdt takes a moment to pull his fingers from himself before leaning on an elbow. “Alright, sweetie. What’ll it be? Pick anything you want.”

“leavemealone: suction cup, cock ring, vibrator please”

“You want the vibrator attached to the dildo or on my cock?” Bertholdt gathers the items along with the lube and some skin-safe tape.

“leavemealone: base of the dildo”

“Since you tipped so high, I’ll let you control the speed too.” Bertholdt smiles as he puts the rest of his toys away before attaching the vibrator to the base of the dildo.

“leavemealone: Only if you’re alright with it.” Reiner notices that the higher tippers are a little politer, a little more formal the everyone else in the room. He figures he must’ve been right on the money with his earlier assumption.

“Oh trust me…” Bertholdt grins wide as he slips the cock ring over his cock. “I’m more than okay with it.”

“leavemealone: medium at first, then low, and then high when you’re about to cum” Bertholdt nods before blowing a kiss to the camera.

“Alright baby, I’ll give you what you want.” Bert smiles sweetly before standing and repositioning the laptop to face the room once more. He pulls out his desk chair and firmly suctions the dildo to the seat. He sits behind the dildo at first, stroking himself slowly as he lubes it up when a message appears on the screen.

“dikluver: you gonna be thinkin abt ur roomie” A slight smirk crosses Bertholdt's face.

“Maybe, maybe not. Why do you ask?”

“dikluver: how much for u to show it? don’t want the act this time, wanna see how u rlly r” Bertholdt pauses for a second. He tries his best not to make things too personal since it could ruin the immersion for some of his viewers but he thinks he might try something new this time. He hums softly before drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. Reiner's heart races as he realizes what exactly is getting ready to happen.

“…500. I’ll do it for 500.” The same user who had been asking the questions quickly tips 500 tokens and Bertholdt thanks him before taking a shaky breath. Close to twenty extra tips ranging from between 10 and 30 tokens roll in as some sort of agreement. He’s becoming a little nervous. This is a risky move since some users like to fantasize that they’re exclusive with him and it could end up in him losing viewers.

“hungnhandsome: Show him how much you want that cock.” Bertholdt nods as a blush spreads across his cheeks. He hasn’t completely lost his confidence but he can tell it’s waning and he wonders if it’s because he’s finally acknowledged that Reiner is watching him. He tells himself to calm down and pretends as if Reiner were never there.

Bertholdt turns around to brace himself on the back of the chair as he gives the camera a nice view of his ass. He pulls his cheeks apart to show off his entrance, still wet with lube from earlier. Bertholdt lubes himself a second time for good measure before sliding a hand down between his legs to line the dildo up with his hole. Bert groans as he lowers himself down slowly, head hanging slightly with his mouth agape. He pauses and grabs the remote for the vibe, moaning softly after he's switched it on.

Reiner would be lying if he said he wasn’t imagining his own cock in place of that dildo. He would’ve done so anyway but thanks to the other viewers, the thought is even further planted in his mind. Reiner strokes himself firmly as Bertholdt begins to roll his hips in order to adjust. Once comfortable, he pulls up slowly and Reiner's eyes, along with his hand, follow the taller man's movements. When Bertholdt drops back down, he gasps softly and rolls his hips once more to press the dildo deeper.

Reiner does his best to mimic his boyfriend's movements with his hand but there’s no way it’s even close to the real thing. The blond reaches into the top drawer of the nightstand to retrieve a small bottle of lube before slowly pouring some over the head of his cock. Reiner drops the bottle onto the bed before turning up the volume on his laptop and groaning as he relaxes to the sound of Bertholdt's soft moans.

The taller man is still rolling his hips back, his ass engulfing most of the dildo each time. He’s riding it with a purpose now. Bertholdt reaches for the remote to the vibe and switches the setting as requested by the highest bidder, sighing as the intensity is toned down a bit. He rolls his hips back quicker now, gasping when the head of the dildo catches his prostate every now and then. “Nn…fuck.” Bertholdt is breathing heavily and Reiner can tell he’s working hard. The taller man's thighs flex as they hold him over the seat of the chair.

Reiner hears a faint whisper of his name come through the headphones and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth to stifle a moan. As much as the blond loves watching Bertholdt work himself over, he decides to lean back against his headboard and close his eyes instead of watching. The sounds filling his ears don’t make it too hard for him to fantasize. Bertholdt moans on the other side of the camera.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Reiner peeks an eye open to see that Bertholdt has turned around to face the camera. He yelps after turning the vibrator up to it’s highest setting. Bert's grinding down onto the dildo hard and he’s having trouble keeping a solid rhythm. Reiner can feel his own orgasm coming on but he doesn’t want to finish yet, not until Bertholdt is done.

The taller man arches his back slightly and pauses with a moan as only a slight dribble of cum leaks from his cock due to the cock ring still wrapped around the base. He pants softly as he rides out his orgasm. A steady flow of tips had been appearing in the chat box during the last portion of the show but it’s nothing compared to what’s happening now. As Bertholdt finishes, a wall of tips blocks out any messages that may have been sent.

Reiner speeds the motion of his hand and calls the last few moments of the show to the front of his mind before quickly reaching for the tissues and wrapping them around the head of his cock as he cums. He bites down on his bottom lip in hopes of silencing himself. The tissues catch most of Reiner's mess but he grabs a clean tissue to quickly wipe up the rest. He tosses them into the trash can beside his bed before sitting up shakily.

Bertholdt is leaning against the back of the chair now, panting softly. Reiner notes that Bertholdt looks beautiful even when he’s fucked out and exhausted. Bert leans forward slightly to slide the cock ring off with a hiss, humming as the rest of his ejaculate drips out onto the floor. He gives a tired smile to the camera before waving weakly. “Thanks guys, see you next week?” The viewers that haven’t left yet affirm him that they’ll be back. “hungnhandsome” lets him know that this was one of the best shows he’s seen in months and most of the active viewers agree. Bertholdt smiles and thanks them once again before blowing a kiss to the camera and ending the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a Tumblr!: https://shingeki-no-killme.tumblr.com


	20. Chapter 20

Reiner sighs once the screen turns black. He checks the time. It’s a few minutes past eleven. Even though the show had already lasted for a while, he hadn’t wanted it to end yet. He picks up his phone to call Bert, hoping that the conversation won't be too awkward. It goes straight to voicemail. Reiner realizes that Bertholdt must be busy with cleanup and drops his phone to rest on his stomach for the time being. The experience was different but nice. Reiner can understand the appeal and part of him thinks he really _wouldn’t_ mind joining Bertholdt some time.

About twenty minutes later, Reiner is comfortably settled into his bed and on the verge of sleep when a call comes through. He is sits up and rubs his tired eyes before answering. “Hello...?”

“Hey.” It’s Bertholdt. Reiner smiles after he hears that beautiful voice come through the line. “Listen…I’m umm…I’m really sorry about being kind of passive-aggressive earlier.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? I probably deserved it.” Reiner chuckles softly. “I really should've told you what the situation here is like…”

“Mhh yeah. That would’ve been nice. But I understand. It’s necessary for you to keep your mother convinced and after doing it for so long, it just starts to happen naturally.” Reiner hums softly.

“You’ve got a point. I had even forgotten about the whole Krista thing until she brought it up last night.” The blond becomes nervous once he realizes what he had told his mother earlier about Bert and Ymir. He'll really be upset with Reiner if he forgets to brief him on that lie. He clears his throat awkwardly before continuing. “And uhh…while we're on this topic. There’s something I should tell you…”

“Hmm?”

“You have to promise not to get mad at me.” The other end of the line is silent for a moment.

“Reiner…I promise. What is it?”

“So…I may or may not have told Ma that you have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, well that isn’t too bad I guess. If it helps convince her and keeps you safe, then I don’t really mind.”

“I told her it’s Ymir. And that she’s Krista's cousin.” The other end of the line is silent once more and Reiner can feel his nerves begin to act up again. “She wants you to bring her to Thanksgiving dinner.” Bertholdt sighs softly.

“Reiner…”

“I’m sorry, she just started questioning me and things got out of hand and I didn’t want to disappoint her and-“ Bertholdt cuts Reiner off from his rambling.

“Reiner…it's…it's fine. I just wish you wouldn’t lie to her like that. You can’t do this forever…”

“I know…it’s getting out of hand. I’m just not sure how she'll react. She's the only family I have, y’know? It’s hard.” Bertholdt hums reassuringly. He can hear a bit of panic in Reiner's voice.

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs softly into the phone. “You sound stressed, let’s talk about something else.” Reiner nods to himself.

“Alright, yeah. What’s up? How’re you doing right now?”

“Pretty okay…I’m just a little tired.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly. “Did you like it…the show, I mean?” Reiner blushes softly as he thinks back to the events preceding their phone call.

“Yeah…it was…” Reiner clears his through awkwardly. “Nice. It was nice. I hadn’t realized that you were so popular.” Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“Not really… I mean sure, I have a lot of viewers but they only add up to a fraction of the top models' audiences.” Reiner whistles, astonished.

“Wow…I bet they make _a lot_. I’m not really sure how the exchange rate from tokens to money works but it sure did seem like you did pretty well tonight.”

“Well, every ten tokens is equal to a dollar so I guess that’s quite a bit, yeah.” Reiner's eyes widen slightly.

“ _Quite a bit_? Dude…you made like 10,000 tokens from tonight’s show alone.”

“Well, to be exact it was more like…” Bertholdt pauses to check quickly. “…16,000 or so.” Reiner does some quick math.

“$1,600? Bertl that’s fucking insane! I almost feel bad for those guys. You must be bleeding them dry.”

Bertholdt chuckles softly. “Well, I only get about half of what I make. The rest goes to the site.” Bertholdt hums softly. “I think tonight broke the record for the most I’ve made in one night. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve got a couple of big tippers. When they aren’t there, the most I’ve ever made was something like $200 for three hours. Sometimes on bad nights, I could get $20 or I could get nothing. It all depends on what the traffic is like.” Reiner huffs softly. As far as he's concerned Bertholdt is worth more than anything in the world.

“Yeah…I noticed but it sounds nice to have the bigger tippers around. I figured they must have a sugar daddy complex or something. I was almost scared that one was gonna sweep you away from me.” Bertholdt holds back a laugh.

“You don’t need to worry about that, Reiner. You’re the only blond for me.”  Bertholdt speaks with a smile. “They’re married, y’know? 'hungnhandsome' and 'leavemealone'.” Reiner raises an eyebrow.

“Really now? Is that what they consider a good time?” Bertholdt plays with the edge of his blanket after he rolls to his side.

“I mean, I guess. I don’t really know much except that they’re married and occasionally they’ll watch together and try to outbid each other. You’re right about the ‘sugar daddy’ complex. From what they’ve told me, they’re both interested in younger guys and they both like spending money on them. They want a sugar baby but they’re both a little too shy and a little too traditional to have an open relationship. Its just easier for them to go the webcam model route. The most they’ve ever done is $500 a piece.” Bertholdt shrugs. “I’m not complaining. If they’re comfortable with spending so much, then I’m comfortable with receiving it. I just make sure to cater more to their tastes than some of the lower tippers.” Reiner hums softly before throwing an arm behind his head.

“Is that where the panties and stockings come in?” Bertholdt blushes softly before pressing his cheek into his pillow.

“At first, yeah…but now it’s kind of become my thing. I don’t do it to please them anymore but to please myself.” Reiner smiles slightly.

“Well…I thought you might like to know that I’m pretty into it too…” Bertholdt blushes brighter and resists the urge to bury his face in embarrassment.

“Reiner…”

“I’m not really sure why, honestly. I think you’ve got the legs for it.” Reiner pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. “Damn, those legs.”

“Reiner…please.”

“Mhh, sorry.” Reiner chuckles softly. “I’ll stop before I get carried away.” Bertholdt hums appreciatively. “But…I thought about it and I don’t think I would mind sharing a camera with those legs sometime…”

“Reiner…are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Depends. What do you think I’m saying?”

“Do you…want to cam with me some time?” Reiner grins before humming softly.

“ _Maybe_.”

“That’s a big decision, Reiner. I think you might want to think about it for a little longer.”

“Yeah, I planned on it. I wasn’t thinking anytime soon but I couldn’t deny that there was _something_ appealing to it.” Reiner grins wider. “And I’m not gonna lie, I kinda wanna show off for those guys.” Bert hums softly.

“Think about it some more, okay? I want you to be absolutely sure before I even decide to schedule it.”

“Alright, I’ll let you know.” Reiner runs a hand through his hair before rolling to lay flat on his stomach. “I miss you.”

“You just saw me at the store earlier.”  Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“Yeah, but…I guess I miss being next to you…and sleeping next to you…and too many more things for me to list.” A small smile pulls at the corners of Bert’s lips. He loves it when Reiner starts to get all mushy.

 “Alright yeah, I miss you too, ya goofball.” The line is silent for a moment and Reiner can her Bert take a slightly shaky breath. “Umm…how would you feel about maybe going out sometime soon? Maybe next weekend?” Reiner grins wide before rolling onto his side and stretching.

“Yeah, a date sounds nice. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, anything we want really. I can just use some of my income from earlier. Nothing too extravagant though, most of it needs to go towards a car.” Bertholdt laughs softly.

“Don’t worry, extravagant isn’t really in my nature.” Reiner chuckles. “How about bowling?”

“ _Bowling_? How old are you, forty?” Bertholdt laughs playfully.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that bowling is a perfectly respectable pastime.”

“Yeah I know; I’m just messing with you. Bowling sounds nice. Does Saturday night work for you? Maybe around sixish?”

“Mhh, yeah. Sounds like a plan.” Reiner smiles sweetly. “It’s getting pretty late and I’ve got to get up early to do some cleaning and classwork. So, see you then?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then…” Bertholdt pauses for a moment before taking a deep breath. “Night, Reiner. I…I love you.”

“Night babe, love you too.” Reiner grins as the words leave his mouth. He’s not sure why it’s already so easy to profess his love for his boyfriend. It just feels so _natural_ for him to say it. The blond rolls over to plug his phone in after the call has ended before pulling his comforter around himself tightly and falling asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Running. He's running. Hard. It feels almost impossible to breathe at this point. Reiner looks around frantically. There’s a tree up ahead. He stumbles slightly as he sprints towards it. He’s not sure why but he knows his life depends on it. There’s screaming coming from behind him. _Why? Who’s screaming? What's going on?_

Reiner pants as he jolts awake, a cool sweat beginning to appear on his forehead. It’s only a few minutes past four. He reaches for his ringing phone and squints as he unlocks it. It’s his mother.

“Sorry to bother you, sweetie...I know it’s early. I just need help getting to the bathroom.” Reiner nods as he throws the covers off of his legs.

“Alright, I’ll be down in a second.” He hangs up before heading downstairs to help his mother. Once he's finished, she thanks him and he heads back up to bed. Reiner can’t quite remember what the dream that startled him awake was about but he has a feeling it must’ve been pretty intense. He quickly forgets about the nightmare as he sinks into his mattress and surrenders to sleep for the second time that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the kind of short chapter, guys. The next one is kind of long so I guess it makes up for it. :P


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorks on a date

It takes no time at all for next Saturday to arrive but Reiner finds himself in a bit of a pickle. He still hasn’t told his mother that he'll be gone tonight. He’s too nervous to bring it up, scared that she might turn the conversation into something else. They’re sitting at the dining room table about to eat breakfast when Reiner decides he should just get it over with. He clears his throat and takes a sip of orange juice before speaking, making sure to avoid eye contact with his mother. He's already prepared a decent cover story to tell her instead of his actual plans.

“Hey, uhh. Krista and I are planning on going out tonight…is that alright? I can cancel if you need me here.”

“No, don’t worry about canceling.” Karina smiles sweetly. “Go have fun, I’ll be fine.” She pauses for a second. “But not too much fun…you know what I mean.” Reiner rolls his eyes. “And be back by ten.”

“Alright. I can do that.” He smiles as he nods at his mother, grateful that the conversation wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Reiner stands to clean up the table once he’s finished, grinning wide in excitement for his plans to come. He washes and dries the dishes before helping his mother back to the couch. Reiner sits in the recliner beside her and stretches his legs out before leaning back. He sends a quick text containing a simple heart to Bert. It isn’t long before he receives one in return and smiles.

“You guys have been together for quite a while now, haven’t you?” Reiner looks up to his mother and furrows his brow before realizing she’s talking about Krista. He quickly thinks back to when he had first lied to his mother about their “relationship”. It was towards the end of his junior year of high school when Krista had also needed someone to convince her parents that her relationship with Ymir was nothing more than friendship. The two blondes had come to a mutual agreement and during that time, Reiner had become a comfortable go-between (or as Ymir likes to call it, “professional mailman of lesbian love letters”) for the girls' relationship.  Krista's parents of course no longer buy it since they had snooped through her things and found the letters, an event that ended up in the sweet girl getting kicked out, but she still gives Reiner a hand when he needs one. He's become quite appreciative of his mother's reclusive nature. She tends to keep to herself and isn’t interested in meeting the parents of his friends or supposed girlfriend, giving Reiner a solid barrier between his mother and the truth.

“Ahh, yeah…about two years now.” Karina smiles at her son.

“Do you have any future plans…?” Reiner gives his mother a questioning look. “…engagement, maybe?” He _really_ doesn’t want to have this conversation. He chuckles softly, trying to play the question off.

“Ma, we're still in college. Don’t you think it’s a little too early for engagement?”

“Just because you get engaged doesn’t mean you have to get married right away.” She smiles sweetly as her eyes drop to look at her hands clasped in her lap. “It was just a thought is all.” She closes her eyes and begins to him softly.

“Maybe. We'll just have to see how things play out.” Karina nods and Reiner wonders why she’s thinking about engagement all of the sudden. Reiner has a feeling she has something more along the lines of grandchildren on her mind but she isn’t willing to outright say it. Reiner's palms have become sweaty and he rubs them on the legs of his pajama pants. “I think I’m going to run upstairs and take a shower. Will you be alright by yourself?” Karina nods in response.

“Yeah, I should be fine.” Reiner smiles before turning the television on for his mother and handing her the remote before slowly climbing up the stairs. He closes the bathroom door behind himself and strips down before adjusting the water to a comfortable temperature. He turns the sound on his phone up in case his mother needs something immediately and places it on the edge of the sink before stepping in. Reiner looks in the mirror that is suctioned to the shower wall before reaching for his razor. He’s never been a fan of the stubble that never fails to form on his face each morning. He thinks it makes him look too much like his father.

Reiner shaves carefully before putting the razor back in its spot and grabbing the shampoo. He lathers it into his hair until suds are formed and continues to work it through as his fingertips relaxingly massage his scalp. The blond closes his eyes before rinsing and turns to grab a washcloth and the shower gel after the shampoo has been thoroughly rinsed out. Reiner washes quickly and allows the hot water to run over his tense shoulders.

He closes his eyes and leans against the shower wall as he relaxes. The water feels all too good against his skin and he can’t bring himself to get out. As the last bit of soap suds slide off of his body, Reiner finds himself thinking of Bertholdt. He hasn’t been able to keep the other man out of his head for even a second since he had watched the show on Thursday. He wants desperately to see another although he would much rather have the real thing.

Reiner allows his hand to trail down to his cock and he slides it over the stiffening appendage slowly. His eyelids flutter as he imagines Bertholdt beneath him, begging for all he's able to give and coming further undone with every movement that Reiner makes. The blond wraps his hand around his dick fully before giving himself long, slow strokes. His mind is brought back to Bert's show and the seemingly dark tone that had taken over his boyfriend's voice. With that thought, Reiner’s fantasy is turned on its head. He’s under the taller man now, whimpering as Bertholdt looks down at him with a devilish glint in his eye.

Reiner groans as he strokes quicker. He's never been quite fond of bottoming but somehow he knows that if it were for Bertl, _his Bertl_ , he’d enjoy it more than anything he's ever experienced. Reiner rolls his hips into the touch. He imagines the brunet fucking him slow at first, making him squirm and beg before picking up to a rough but torturously slow pace. Reiner can feel himself growing closer and quickens the pace of his hand. He tips his head back against the wall, about to cum when his phone begins to ring. The sharp sound startles him and he jumps, almost slipping before bracing himself against the wall.

His heart hammers in his chest as if someone had actually caught him jerking off. Reiner quickly shuts the shower off and dries a hand before reaching for his phone. His mother is calling and he answers without hesitation. “Hey, what’s up? Everything alright?” Karina hums on the other end of the line.

“Everything is fine…don’t freak out.”

“Ma, what's wrong?”

“Well, I may have fallen off of the couch…” Reiner hangs up and frantically pulls a pair of pants on before running downstairs. Sure enough, his mother is sitting on the floor beside the couch. She doesn’t look to be in any pain.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” Karina smiles sweetly as Reiner lifts her back onto the couch.

“No, I’m fine. It was more of a gentle tumble than anything.” She laughs softly at herself. “I dropped the remote and tried to reach it but I guess it was a little further away than I thought.” Reiner nods before picking the remote up and handing it to her.

“Alright, just try not to do it again…please.” He gives a relieved sigh, thankful that his mother is alright. “We can’t have you getting hurt any more than you already are.”

“Sorry I made you worry.” Reiner smiles before heading back to the bottom of the staircase.

“It's fine. Better to worry than to not, right?”

“I suppose you’re right” She smiles before readjusting herself to sit up straighter “And Reiner…?”

“Yeah, Ma?”

“Try to cut your showers a little shorter. You’ll run up the water bill.” Reiner nods before heading back up the stairs to dress properly, trying to suppress any feelings of anxiety or guilt that may be forming on his way up. Reiner doesn’t bother to continue where he left off.

 

* * *

 

 

Bertholdt hums as he fishes through his closet for an acceptable outfit. He had invited Annie and Armin over to eat lunch and to keep him company. The blondes are sitting cross-legged on the bed, munching on their sandwiches as Bert searches. He sighs as he pushes another shirt aside.

“Hey, don’t stress about it. You’ve still got like…” Annie checks the time on her phone. “…four hours until he'll be here. Plus, come on Bert…it's _Reiner_. Just wear what you usually wear. He’ll probably just throw on a t-shirt and jeans like always.” Bertholdt turns to look at her with a pout.

“But I feel like I always wear the same outfit all the time…” Armin sets his sandwich down and covers his mouth as he chews before speaking.

“Not really, you just have your own style and it is very fitting for you if I do say so myself.” Bertholdt closes the closet door and sits on the edge of the bed before flashing Armin a smile.

“Thanks…” He flops back, his head resting in the space separating Annie and Armin. “Any new developments?” Armin shifts back slightly to give Bert some more room.

“I finally got in touch with Hange. She teaches a chemistry lab and I asked one of her students when her office hours were so I could drop in.” He chuckles softly. “She was so excited to see me. She's known for a while.” Bertholdt nods slowly before clasping his hands over his stomach.

“Any new information on her end?”

“She said it’s definitely due to stress. She awakened her memories after a mental breakdown during grad school. She said something about meeting a few other cadets over her years as a professor and they’ve all tended to remember while they were in college.” Bert nods slowly.

“Okay but what about Ymir? She wasn’t under stress when she remembered. Is it still possible that proximity is a factor?” Armin pauses for a second.

“We really still aren’t sure…but with one more mind on the case, we should be able to make more progress towards figuring all of this out.” Bertholdt smiles before sitting up next to Annie and leaning against the headboard. “If you don’t mind me asking…how _exactly_ did you awaken your memories? It might be able to help us piece some things together. I know you weren’t really comfortable with sharing the first time so don’t sweat it if you’re still not alright with it.” Bertholdt decides that he’s comfortable enough with telling Armin now that he’s developed a pretty good friendship with him. The last time he had asked had been in front of a room full of people and it had been a little intimidating.

“Well, I was pretty stressed out about midterms and at the same time, Reiner and I were kind of tiptoeing around each other, trying not to make our now apparent feelings for each other _too_ obvious. And then umm…well, I uhh…” Bertholdt shoots a nervous glance at Annie. “Reiner caught me umm…” Bertholdt struggles to finish his sentence and Annie smiles before looking up to meet Armin's eyes.

“Bert’s a CamBoy.” Armin's eyes widen slightly.

“O-oh. I see.” A light blush dusts Armin's cheeks. “So you umm, you do…things…online...in front of a camera…for money?” Bertholdt smiles shyly as he nods. “Is…is it fun?” Annie rolls her eyes. Everyone always takes interest in Bert’s occupation once they manage to find him out.

“Yeah, it has its perks.” It doesn’t take Armin long to realize where the shows must take place and he tries his hardest not to shift against the sheets beneath him, as not to offend Bertholdt in some way. Bert notices the change in the blonde's demeanor and waves his hand in a casual manner.

“Don’t worry, the sheets get changed after every show.” The taller man smiles sweetly as Armin relaxes. “So uhh, anyway. Reiner walked in on a show one time…because his club was cut short and I wasn’t expecting him back so soon.” Armin thinks back to the time he had sent everyone home early because a part of their robot had gone missing. He brings a hand up to cover his mouth as he gasps softly.

“Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Bert. That’s partially my fault.”

“It’s alright, really.” Bertholdt smiles before continuing. “I ran off to Annie's for a couple days and ignored his texts but when I came back he offered to buy me dinner so I guess he probably felt a little guilty for walking in. Now that I think about it, that might’ve been our first date.” Bertholdt chuckles softly. “He confronted me right before bed that night and he really pressed for answers about what he had seen and as you already know, I’m pretty timid so it kind of freaked me out. Especially since at that point I hadn't known about our past lives and wasn’t as comfortable around him as I otherwise would’ve been. I didn’t sleep much that night and ended up skipping classes the next day. The nightmare ended up waking me up that afternoon and I went back to Annie's.”

Armin nods as he processes the information. “So it seems like several things can contribute to the awakening. It’s not always just one significant stressful event. Did you have any 'symptoms' before you had the dream? Any visions or weird feelings of déjà vu?” Bertholdt shakes his head.

“No, not really. Just an infatuation with Reiner but we could just chalk that up to natural human attraction.” Bertholdt chuckles softly before rolling his shoulders and sitting up straighter.

“Maybe there’s no real pattern to it…” Annie hums before speaking up.

“Could be. Maybe it just happens for some unknown reason.” She shrugs as she takes a sip of her drink. Bertholdt sighs softly.

“I’m not really sure if it’s something that needs to be figured out. Maybe it just _happens_.” Armin nods in agreement with Bert's statement. He believes there has to be a reason for everything but maybe this is just something that doesn’t need an explanation. It’s silent for a few moments and Annie changes the subject to try to lighten the mood. She talks about a comedy that she had seen recently and Armin ends up finding a copy online. The three spend their afternoon snuggled under a large blanket as they watch the movie until it’s time for Bertholdt to get ready.

 

* * *

 

 

Bertholdt waits for Reiner by the curb outside the residence hall. He shoves his hands further into his pockets in an attempt to keep them warm. He gets excited when he sees the old truck coming down the road. It stops next to the brunet and Reiner parks before leaning across the seat to open the door for him. “Hey, long time no see.” Bertholdt smiles as he climbs in and buckles up before shutting the door. He’s thankful for the steady blow of heat coming from the vents. Bert looks to Reiner with a smile before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Hey.” Reiner has combed his hair and parted it differently for once. It’s getting longer than he usually allows it to but it looks good on him. Really good. “You look nice.”

“Thanks, you look really nice too but that’s nothing new.” Reiner chuckles softly before taking Bert’s hand in his free one as he drives downtown. Bertholdt blushes before turning to look out the window. He's glad that the ride isn’t too awkward. The last time he had seen Reiner was with his mom at the store and the last time Reiner had seen him was…on a less than innocent occasion. He tries not to think about it as he turns to smile at his boyfriend when they pull into the parking lot.

“Have you eaten yet? I brought concessions money.” Reiner smiles as he shuts off the truck.

“Reiner, you really didn’t have to. I told you this one’s on me.” Bertholdt frowns slightly.

“But I like spoiling you…” Reiner pouts cutely and Bert leans over to press a light kiss to his cheek.

“Spoil me another time. I’ve got you tonight.” Reiner smiles and mumbles a reluctant “alright” before stepping out of the truck. Bertholdt follows him in and walks past him to the front desk to rent a lane out for two hours. After Bert has paid, Reiner follows him to the shoe rental counter. He turns to look at Reiner briefly. “Twelves?” The blonde nods before looping his pinky with the taller man's. Bertholdt smiles at the clerk before handing her the correct amount of money. “Two twelves please.” The clerk comes back with the shoes and smiles as she hands them to the guys. Bert thanks her before handing a pair to Reiner and heading to their lane.

“Wanna do a game or two and then grab something to eat?”

“Yeah, sounds nice.” Bertholdt nods as he sits down to change his shoes. He picks out a ball and sets it on the rack of the ball return before sitting at the automatic scorer and inputting their first initials. Reiner comes back with a ball and smiles once he notices the game has already been set up.

“Mind if I go first?”

“Go right on ahead.” Bertholdt smiles as he watches Reiner step up to the lane and take two long strides before rolling the ball. He gets a strike. “Hmm, wow. Didn’t know you were such a good bowler.” Reiner cracks a slight smile and slides his hands into his pockets as he walks back.

“What do you think good Christian boys do on Friday nights?” Bert rolls his eyes and nudges Reiner playfully as he walks past him for his turn. His ball goes straight into the gutter and Bert can practically feel the smug look on Reiner's face. He hopes that Reiner was kidding and that his strike was only beginner's luck. If not, this may end up being a long night of losing for Bertholdt.

 

* * *

 

 

Reiner wasn’t kidding. Bertholdt watches as the blond bowls a spare on his last turn and hangs his head before standing to take his turn. He ends up knocking down eight pins total before turning to Reiner with a frown. Reiner is grinning at him smugly. “Wanna try to beat me one last time?” Bert checks the clock with a sigh.

“We've got about fifteen minutes left on the lane so I don’t think we’d have quite enough time to play a full game. Is there anything else around here you wanna do?”

“Arcade?” Bertholdt nods before plopping down onto the seat beside his boyfriend to change his shoes.

“Yeah, arcade sounds good.” Reiner follows the brunet to turn the shoes in before tugging him along to the doorway to the arcade. Bert scans the room as they enter. There has to be _something_ here that he can beat Reiner at. He spots Dance Dance Revolution but decides to look for something else when he notices that it’s busy. The brunette's eyes fall on an old zombie shooting game. He had played it almost every day after school for years and he hopes he’s still as good at it as he once was. Bertholdt drags Reiner to the game before popping a few quarters into the machine and handing him a cheap plastic gun with a smile. Reiner waves it in the air and something - most likely a loose screw - rattles inside of the old plastic object.

“Hadn’t realized you were into stuff like this.” Bertholdt shrugs as the game starts up.

“Not my favorite but it’s what was available.” He smiles as he takes out a couple zombies and the game progresses. Reiner doesn’t have much trouble keeping up at first but he begins to struggle as the rounds begin to increase in difficulty. Soon, Reiner is swarmed and Bertholdt is turning to pick the enemies off of him once he’s taken care of his own. Reiner dies in the fourth round and sets his gun down with a slight huff. He sits back with his arms crossed as he watches Bert continue. The taller man's eyes are fixed on the screen before him.

“You’re pretty good at this.” Bert hums softly.

“They had a few games like these at an arcade back in Trost. I didn’t really have any friends, just Annie and Marco, so I would spend my time there after school.” Reiner nods and raises his eyebrows once Bertholdt is finished. He’s within the top three high scores.

“Well, I must say I’m impressed. What next?” Bertholdt’s eyes shoot back to DDR which is now open. He points at the brightly colored machine and Reiner's eyes light up once he realizes what his boyfriend wants to play. “Oh sweet, dude. I’m _so_ good at DDR. Prepare to be obliterated.” They end up playing three songs on varying difficulties, all of which Bertholdt win. They decide to call it a night and he can tell that Reiner seems a little annoyed on the way out to the truck. “How on Earth did you get so good at that? Same as the other game?” Bertholdt shrugs with a soft smile.

“Nahh, I’ve never really played much DDR. Just a natural, I guess. I’ve got good hips.” A slight grin begins to spread across Reiner’s face and Bertholdt tries not to think about what he has just implied. The blonde speaks excitedly on the way back to the residence hall and the ride feels like it takes no time at all. Instead of dropping Bertholdt off, he parks in his usual spot to talk for a little longer.

Soon enough, Bertholdt finds himself in his boyfriend's lap. They hadn’t done very much talking. He runs a hand up Reiner's chest and to his shoulder as he pulls away from their heated kiss to catch his breath. “Christ, you’re so hot.” Reiner grins and tips his head back against the headrest as his grip tightens on Bertholdt's hips. He hadn’t expected the brunet to be so bold.

“I mean, I’m not as hot as you but sure, I’ll take it.” Bertholdt goes in for another kiss and slides his other hand into the hair at the back of Reiner's head. The blond grinds against him slowly and Bertholdt pants after pulling back with a gasp. He stares silently for a few moments before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Do you umm…do you wanna come up for a little bit?” Bertholdt blushes and breaks eye contact for a split second as he becomes embarrassed. Reiner slides a hand up Bert's side and shifts him slightly so he can look at the clock on the dash. _Nine twenty, damn_.

“As much as I want to, I shouldn’t…I told Ma I’d be home by ten and it'll take me at least twenty-five minutes to get there. Plus, I’m not sure if I’ll ever go home if you take me up there with you.” The blond smirks slyly and Bertholdt begins to squirm under his hungry gaze. “I’ll stay here and keep you company for five more minutes though.” Bertholdt nods as he rests his arms on Reiner’s shoulders. He presses his forehead to the other's and smiles as their eyes meet. Reiner has been feeling a dull ache just behind his eyes all night but now the feeling is beginning to intensify.

He pats Bert's hip lightly to let him know their time is up and the taller man pulls away with a pout. He reluctantly slides out of Reiner's lap, careful not to bump into the horn like he had earlier when he had been trying to situate himself there. It’s quite the task in the cramped truck but he succeeds. Reiner watches him silently as he makes himself look somewhat presentable and he wonders what could be on the blonde’s mind. He leans over to press a soft kiss to Reiner's cheek and then another one to his lips before pulling away to step out of the truck.

“Goodnight. I…I love you.” Reiner smiles and brushes Bert’s fingertips with his own.

“Night, love you too.” It sounds better in person. Bertholdt has missed it. He realizes that he doesn’t care if Reiner knows who they are or if he ever will. All that matters to him is that they’re making something for themselves _now_. “See you again soon?” Bertholdt smiles and nods with a soft “yeah” before closing the door and heading up the sidewalk. Reiner feels a dull ache in his chest as he watches the other man walk away. He doesn’t want him to leave yet. _Please don't go_.

The blond fidgets nervously as a thought crosses his mind. It’s a little risky but he should be able to get away with it. Reiner rolls his window down quickly before hanging out of it and shouting. “Hey, Bertl!” Bertholdt turns to look at him, a little startled by the shout. “Do you wanna stay with me tonight?”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheltered kids grow up to be sneaky adults (But that still doesn't mean they're good at it) ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there,  
> Love ya, Appreciate ya

Bertholdt's eyes widen slightly and he begins walking back to the truck. “I’m sorry, are you being serious?” Reiner peers at him through the open window.

“Yeah…I want you to stay with me tonight.”

“Like…at your place? With your mom and everything…?” Reiner nods with a smile.

“Yeah, why not?”

“She won’t have a problem with it?”

“She shouldn’t but I’ll call her.” Bertholdt worries his bottom lip between his teeth. It’s been a little over two weeks since he's last slept beside Reiner and it sounds pretty tempting. Bertholdt leans against the side of the truck as Reiner slides his phone from his pocket to call his mother. It only rings once before she picks up. “Hey Ma, uhh…” Reiner hesitates for a moment. “…Would it be alright if Bertholdt stays tonight?” Bert isn’t sure if Ms. Braun is speaking loudly or if Reiner has the volume up on his phone but he can hear her response.

“A sleepover? At your age? I’m not so sure…” Bertholdt winces. This isn’t a good idea.

“We’re just gonna be doing some studying and playing video games…please?”

“Well, I suppose…just try to be a little quiet when you get here. It’s getting late.” Reiner smiles up at Bertholdt and the taller man turns to head up for his stuff.

“Thanks, Ma. Love you.”

“Love you too, sweetie. See you soon.” Reiner ends the call and Bertholdt is back down shortly. He climbs into the truck and buckles up, his knees pressed firmly together as he sits on his hands. Reiner can tell he's nervous.

“Babe…you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Bertholdt smiles at him softly.

“No, I want to. Just a little scared of your mom…” He chuckles nervously and Reiner lays a reassuring hand on his thigh.

“Don’t worry, you can just pop in and say hi and then head upstairs. I’ll have to help her out a bit before I’ll be up but it won’t take long.” Bert visibly relaxes before nodding with a slight smile. He tries to calm himself further as he watches the street lights pass by.

The brunet eyes the quaint two-story once they arrive. It’s been a while since he had last been here but it hasn’t changed a bit. He wonders if it’s the same on the inside. Bertholdt slowly follows Reiner into the house where he takes the taller man's coat and hangs it on the rack by the door. As far as Bert can see, nothing about the setting has changed except for the size of Reiner's shoes.

His palms begin to sweat as he follows Reiner into the living room and Karina comes into view. She turns to look at them with a smile. “Hey boys.” Her gaze shifts to Reiner. “How was the date?” Bertholdt’s heart rate picks up and he feels sweat begin to gather on his forehead. _Had Reiner actually told her the truth?_

“It was nice…” Reiner hesitates for a moment before glancing at Bertholdt quickly. “Krista won every game, as always.” He rolls his eyes with a slight chuckle. Bertholdt’s heart drops. _Oh_. Part of him had been hoping that Reiner really _had_ told her. Karina looks past her son to the taller man behind him.

“Did you guys double date or just cross paths while you were out?” Bertholdt does his best to fake a smile.

“Double date. Don’t let Reiner fool you though, he was right behind Krista's score the whole time. Must be a blonde thing.” Bert shrugs as he grips his bag tighter. He hopes she can’t tell that he’s nervous. Karina laughs softly.

“Yeah, must be.” Bert dismisses himself to Reiner's room when Ms. Braun turns to shut the television off. Reiner is trying hard to stifle the guilty feeling building in his chest. “He can have the couch tonight if you don’t mind carrying me to my room for the night.” Reiner hums softly.

“Don’t worry about it, Ma. I know you’re comfortable out here so I’ll just pull out the air mattress. We'll probably just fall asleep in our textbooks anyway.” Reiner chuckles softly as he moves closer to the couch. “Do you need anything before I head up?”

“Just the restroom and a glass of water.” Reiner nods at his mother as she smiles at him sweetly. After fulfilling her requests, he covers her with a warm blanket and adjusts her pillow before kissing her on the forehead and wishing her goodnight. The blond turns off the light and heads upstairs before slowly pushing his bedroom door open. Bertholdt is staring at the old hockey jersey on his wall.

“Didn’t know you played…”

“Yeah, it was just a high school thing.” Reiner shuts the door quietly before coming closer. Bertholdt smiles softly before drawing his eyes away from the jersey.

“Figures. You’re built for it.” Reiner hums softly as he slides his arms around the taller man's waist from behind. Bertholdt grows rigid. It feels weird for the blond to be holding him so intimately with his mother just one room below them. He knows she can’t see them but it still feels dangerous.

“I’m sorry…” 

Bert turns to face his boyfriend, still loosely locked in the blonde's embrace. “For what?” 

Reiner rests his head on Bertholdt’s chest with a sigh. “I can’t tell her.”

“Reiner…” Bert kisses the top of his head before pulling away to sit on the edge of the bed. “It's fine. I promise.”

“It really isn’t…” Reiner moves to the closet to dig out the air mattress. He lowers his voice, all too aware of his mother's presence downstairs. “I love you so much Bertl…and I wish I could tell her for you. You shouldn't have to put up with this...”

“Please don’t worry about it…you don’t need to tell her for me. When you do it, you need to do it for yourself.” Reiner is mostly silent as he rolls out the mattress and fills it with an old bike pump.

“You don’t have to sleep down here…just need to make some noise to convince Ma.” 

Bert nods silently before turning to dig through his bag for his textbooks. “Are we really studying tonight?” 

Reiner snorts with a slight laugh. “No, of course not.”

He looks up to find Bertholdt quickly stuffing his books back into his bag. “I mean, if you need to then we can, yeah. Just wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I invited you over.” Reiner sits cross-legged in the center of the air mattress, a light blush spreading across his face. Bertholdt slowly pulls his books back out.

“Well, what _did_ you have in mind?” Reiner blushes brighter before shrugging nonchalantly.

“Nothin’. Just…video games…and cuddling…nothing really.” A slight smirk pulls at the corner of Bert’s lips. He’s not buying it.

“Mhm…alright.”  Reiner stands to join Bert on the bed as the other man opens a textbook and begins reading.

“Whatcha studying?” He moves behind the taller man and rests his chin on Bert’s shoulder.

“Nothing much…just veterinary neuroscience.” Reiner whistles as his eyes scan the text in his boyfriend’s lap.

“Holy shit that’s intense.” Bertholdt hums with a nod as he continues to read.

“Ehh, I guess. I think engineering is pretty intense.” He highlights a passage and turns to look at Reiner when he feels an arm slide around his waist. The blonde shakes his head with a smile.

“Not nearly as intense as _neuroscience_. I mean, _damn_ …” Reiner places a kiss on the nape of Bertholdt’s neck before resting his head on his back. He can hear the other man's heartbeat and attempts to time his breathing with it. Reiner finds himself slowly sliding down to the mattress, dozing off with an arm still loosely thrown around Bert.

He jolts awake when the taller man shifts to stand. Reiner blinks his eyes sleepily before sitting up to squint at Bertholdt, hair messed up on the side he had been sleeping on. Bertholdt hums softly. “Sorry…didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” The blond chuckles softly before sitting up with a stretch. “How long has it been?”

“Only about an hour…not too long.” Bertholdt slides his books back into his bag before standing to look at Reiner.

“Do you wanna do something fun? Games? A movie?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for tomorrow? You still look a little tired…maybe we should just call it a night.” Reiner shrugs before sliding his legs over the edge of the bed.

“I could stay awake if I really wanted to.” Bertholdt comes closer to lightly rest his hand on Reiner's thigh. Reiner looks up at him as the taller man reaches a hand down to smooth out his hair. Bert hums softly.

“How’re you feeling right now?”

“Pretty good I guess, just a little groggy. Why?” The hand on his thigh slides up slightly and he looks at it skeptically.

“Just wondering if you wanted to do what you invited me here to do…”

“What are you talking about? I invited you over to study and play video games. Just some good and pure fun…” Reiner gives him a goofy grin. Bertholdt rolls his eyes before bringing a knee up to rest on the mattress next to Reiner's leg. “Okay…maybe not so pure.” Reiner lightly places a hand on Bert's side as his other knee comes up to rest beside his other leg. Bertholdt pushes his bottom lip out into a cute pout.

“Reiner...I’m horny.” A large grin begins to spread across Reiner’s face as the words leave his boyfriend's lips.

“Oh, so we've got a pervert here do we?” Bert blushes softly before swatting his boyfriend’s arm playfully and hushing him. The blond smirks slightly as the taller man presses him back into the mattress after straddling him but it quickly falters when the springs squeak loudly.

The two sit up quickly and the mattress creaks again. Reiner looks at his boyfriend with wide eyes before questioningly nodding his head toward the air mattress on the floor. Bert nods before sliding out of his lap. Reiner stands with a stretch before climbing onto the thin plastic mattress. “Get the lights?” He turns the television on and changes the volume to a comfortable medium. Loud enough to mask any noises they may make from his mother but low enough for them to gauge how loud they’re being.

The lights go off and the only thing illuminating the room is the dim light from the screen of the television. Reiner shucks his shirt over his head and tosses it into the corner by the closet before rolling to face Bertholdt with his arms wide open. Bert smiles and takes off his own shirt before approaching the mattress and sliding his arms around Reiner. He allows his body to fall loosely on top of the man below him but only because he knows Reiner will catch him before he has a chance to squish him. He laughs playfully as the blonde embraces him tightly and rolls them to their sides. Green eyes search gold and Bertholdt feels his heart flutter in his chest, stealing his breath away.

“I love you.” It’s the first time he’s been able to say it in this life without being nervous and Reiner seems to be caught off guard by it. The blonde doesn’t respond, just roughly catches Bert’s lips with his own. They’re slightly chapped but still soft, a sensation that has always made Bertholdt feel at home. The brunet reaches a hand up to rest on the back of Reiner's neck as he presses closer. His fingertips brush the blonde hair at his nape and he twirls it between his fingers as they kiss lazily.

Bertholdt pulls away to catch his breath. “I know it was my suggestion but…should we really be doing this?” Reiner's cheeks are tinted pink and his pupils are blown a little wider than usual. He hums softly.

“What, _this_?” He makes a gesture that refers to their general situation. “Fooling around?” Bertholdt nods slightly.

“Yeah, I mean here…with y’know…” He points to the floor in reference to Reiner's mother. The blonde just shrugs in response.

“She won’t know if she can’t hear us.” A sly grin crosses Reiner's face as Bert nods with a hum. The blush has spread to the top of the blonde's chest and he’s eager to get back to the task at hand. He leans closer to press a soft kiss to the column of Bertholdt’s neck. He spends quite some time peppering kisses on the taller man's skin before finally sucking a spot into the base of his neck. Bert whines at the sensation. He knows Reiner hadn’t gone low enough and it’ll surely be visible.

He slides a hand over Reiner's chest before trailing it down to the area just below his belly button. Bert's hand rests just above the Blond’s waistband and he teases the soft skin with his fingertips while Reiner is focused on marking him up. He’s not quite sure how many hickies Reiner has left but he’s since moved from Bert’s neck to his stomach and hips. The blonde one-handedly fumbles with the button of his boyfriend's pants, the other hand busy as it rubs a soothing pattern into Bertholdt's side. Reiner sits up to smile softly at the man beneath him. He removes his hand from Bert's side to assist his other hand in unfastening the Brunet’s pants. Reiner’s breath is stolen away as soon as he catches an eyeful of what’s been hiding beneath his boyfriend's jeans.

“No way…” The smooth white silk of a skimpy pair of panties peeks from the open fly of Bertholdt's pants. A mischievous smirk plays on the taller man's lips as he resists the urge to cover his face in embarrassment.

“You said you liked it last week when we spoke over the phone and I figured I’d surprise you…is it alright?” Reiner nods, still fully focused on the view in front of him.

“Fantastic…its gonna end up coming off though.” He slides the legs of the other man’s pants down slowly and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth when his fingertips catch the top of a stocking. “Damn…those too?” Bert nods, slowly starting to become more self-conscious as his boyfriend’s eyes scan his body. “How long? All day?”

“No, just since we were at the dorm.” Reiner whistles and tosses Bert’s pants to the side before slowly sliding his palms over his boyfriend’s legs. Bertholdt had planned this.

“You look so good…” Bertholdt draws his legs up slightly and presses his knees together.

“Reiner…” The blonde crawls up to press a soft kiss to Bert's cheek.

“Don’t worry, baby.” Bertholdt relaxes a bit and Reiner brings a hand up to teasingly slide against his inner thigh. He hesitates for a moment before finding the courage to speak. “Wanna fuck you nice and slow tonight…but we’ll have to be _very_ quiet. That okay?” He feels his own cock pulse against the tight confines of his pants and slides a hand down to unfasten them, sighing as he relieves some pressure. Bertholdt sighs breathlessly before allowing his legs to fall open further.

“Yeah…I-I mean yes. Please.” Bert nods before gently tugging his boyfriend's hand to rest on the smooth fabric of his panties, lightly resting it on top of the outline of his dick. Reiner smiles at the gesture before squeezing softly, earning a soft moan from the man beneath him. He shushes him politely and silently. The moan had been quiet but he’s still scared that somehow his mother will hear.

Reiner teases his boyfriend through his underwear with light touches as he lowers himself onto his stomach. He hooks an arm beneath each of Bert’s thighs and pulls him closer before sliding the tip of his tongue along the center of the prominent outline showing through the silky fabric of the other man's panties. The brunet bites into the side of his hand in an attempt to stifle his moans. Reiner slowly pulls the fabric aside until Bertholdt’s cock springs free. The cool air feels nice on his hot flesh and he's eager for what’s to come.

Reiner dips his head down to take the head of his boyfriend's cock into his mouth. Bertholdt grabs a pillow to spill his moans into when the blonde starts to suck softly. Reiner slides down slowly and Bertholdt is wondering when he’s going to pull back up when he feels the other man's lips press against his groin. “O-oh fuck...” _That’s new_. He removes the pillow to look at Reiner with wide eyes. The blonde is looking up at him and he smirks around the cock in his mouth when their eyes meet. “ _Reiner…_ ” The brunet whines as his boyfriend swallows around him before pulling off.

“Impressed?” 

Bertholdt smiles as he speaks breathlessly. “Very.” 

Reiner grins wide before leaning back down to deep throat him. Bertholdt hadn't been expecting Reiner to start again so suddenly and a loud moan pushes past his lips. Reiner pulls back quickly and they both freeze as they listen for sound from downstairs. Reiner whispers softly before motioning for Bertholdt to return the pillow to his face.

“I think we're fine.” He returns to the pace he had set before and grins when Bert rolls his hips into his mouth with muffled moans. Reiner pauses, allowing him to fuck his mouth until the sharp ring of a phone cries out through the mostly silent room. Both men jump, causing Bert’s cock to push to the very back of Reiner’s throat, causing him to gag slightly before accidentally scraping his teeth against the top of Bert's cock. Bertholdt yelps as he pulls back and stutters out a high-pitched “Sorry”.

Reiner gives the taller man a panicked apology before lunging for his phone. It’s his mom. He tries to even out his breathing a bit before answering. “H-hey Ma. You alright?” Bert's heart is hammering in his chest. _Oh god, she knows_. “Yeah, alright. I’ll be down in a second.” Reiner hangs up and refastens his pants before fumbling with his shirt. He fixes his hair quickly before rushing out of the room. “Be right back.”

 

* * *

 

Reiner still hasn’t returned. It’s been about twenty minutes now and Bert can still hear the soft buzz of voices coming from downstairs. He's relaxed a bit since Reiner had initially left since the tone of the conversation sounds too calm to be a lecture. The brunet shivers slightly, the air beginning to chill his bare skin. He sits up to grab his bag and digs out a pair of regular underwear and a pair of pajamas. Bertholdt sets the clothes aside before slowly rolling down each stocking and sliding the panties off to replace them with his warmer change of clothes. He tucks the lingerie away at the bottom of his bag before pulling a large wool blanket off of the end of Reiner's bed and wrapping it around himself tightly.

Bert is warmly snuggled into the blanket and on the verge of sleep when he hears the door open and shut softly. Reiner speaks quietly as he approaches the air mattress. “Sorry… Ma needed the restroom and then she decided she wanted a late night snack so I ran to the convenience store really quick. He pulls a candy bar from his back pocket and smiles as he hands it to Bertholdt. “Got you a KitKat.”

Bert smiles as he takes the offering and sets it aside for the time being. “Thanks.” His smile begins to fall as he watches Reiner undress.

“Now…where were we?” The blond smirks as his slips into the covers beside his boyfriend.

“Umm…actually…” Reiner brings a hand up to slide it against the Brunet’s chest. His brow furrows slightly when his hand comes in contact with fabric instead of bare skin.

“Oh…”

“Yeah…I’m not sure if we should. Not here at least…not after that scare.” Bert chuckles nervously and Reiner nods in agreement before shifting closer.

“Alright…yeah. That was a little nerve-wracking earlier so...fair enough.” He sighs softly before sliding an arm around Bert. “Sorry if I hurt you.” Bertholdt chuckles softly.

“It wasn’t that bad…you just grazed me. Sorry I choked you...”

“S’fine. You were kind of already giving me a run for my money anyway.” The blond turns to shut off the television and smiles as he presses closer.

“You gonna get dressed? It’s kind of chilly in here.”  

“Nahh, don’t worry. You’ll keep me warm.” Bertholdt smiles and sighs happily.

“Kiss?” Reiner nods before leaning up to press a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips with a quiet hum.

“Night, love you.”

“Night…I love you too, Reiner.” Reiner falls asleep quickly and Bertholdt wishes he could say the same for himself. He lies on his back and stares at the ceiling as he tries to get comfortable enough to fall asleep but it just isn’t happening. He’s still on edge from the sudden phone call earlier along with the general presence of Reiner's mother.

Bert plays games on his phone for about an hour before setting it aside with a sigh and tucking his arms beneath his head. Reiner begins to stir beside him. The brunet softly places his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder and strokes slowly with a smile. The other man's breathing picks up slightly and Bertholdt pulls his hand away, now starting to become worried. He watches as Reiner rolls restlessly, brows pulling together as a distressed look crosses his face. Bertholdt pulls further away. He has a feeling he knows what’s happening and he isn’t sure how Reiner will react when he comes to.

A few panicky whimpers escape from the back of Reiner's throat before he jolts awake, panting heavily as he sits up to look around. Bertholdt lays silent beside him, careful not to startle him. The blond runs a hand through his sweaty hair before pressing it to his forehead in an attempt to calm the headache blooming behind his eyes. Bertholdt hums softly before speaking up.

“Reiner…you alright?” Reiner turns to look at him with a heavy sigh. He hadn’t noticed that the taller man was still awake.

“I think so, yeah. Just a nightmare. And a horrendous headache.” Reiner chuckles softly – his tone bitter – before leaning forward to grab the bottle of ibuprofen from his nightstand and taking two with a sip from the bottle of water beside him.

“Must’ve been a pretty bad nightmare…what was it about?” If Reiner had just awakened his memories, he’s being awfully nonchalant about it.

“I’m…I’m not really sure.” He climbs back into bed before snuggling close to his boyfriend. “I think I’ve had it a few times before but I can never remember anything about it when I wake up…except for a tree.” Bertholdt raises an eyebrow.

“A tree?” Reiner nods.

“Whenever I try to remember anything from this dream, all that comes to mind is an image of this old, twisted tree in the middle of a field.” _Oh._ Bertholdt's stomach drops as he realizes exactly what Reiner is talking about. Marcel's death. Reiner has been having dreams about Marcel's death but he can never remember any of the details. Just the tree he had been running for his life towards.

“Weird…” Bert sighs softly before pulling Reiner close and holding him to his chest. He'll probably remember soon and Bertholdt isn’t sure how the blond will react when that day comes. He remembers how torn Reiner had been during their mission and he hopes and prays that it won’t happen again when he awakens his memories. Bertholdt doesn’t sleep. He just lays in the dark and holds Reiner all night, running a hand through his hair and doing his best to make him feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I play pocket camp!  
> Player ID: 2360 5311 465


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one likes Reiner's mom: an experience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains weed smokin'

Time slips away from Bertholdt as the second wave of midterms hit. He had made sure to meet with Armin after he had stayed with Reiner and both of them had concluded that although he’s close to awakening his memories, his mind seems to be blocking them out. The last time he had seen his boyfriend was the week prior when they had met up with the girls to set up a satisfactory story for Ms. Braun. She had decided to have their Thanksgiving meal the day before the actual holiday because she figured everyone would be busy with their families on Thanksgiving day.

They’re at Ymir’s place now, waiting for the girls to finish getting ready. It’s only nine o’ clock but Reiner had figured they should head over early to spend some time with his mother before the dinner. Bert and Reiner are snuggled up on the living room couch, hands locked together as they wait for Ymir and Krista to finish changing. Ymir comes out shortly, wearing a tight, black velvet dress with long sleeves. She’s paired it with a thin pair of pantyhose and a pair of short black heels. Her hair is still in its usual ponytail. She looks nice but she doesn’t look anything like herself.

“Good enough for your mom?” Ymir holds her arms out and turns fully. Reiner nods in approval.

“Not too short. Fits a little tight but it’s not like you’ve got an actual figure anyway so it should be fine.” He grins wide and holds his hands up as Ymir leans down to punch him playfully. Reiner stands and motions for the door when Krista comes in. She’s done this enough times that she knows exactly what to expect from Karina. She looks down and brushes off her skirt before adjusting her blouse.

“Hold on, I want to get something to drink first. We’ve still got some time, right?” Reiner checks the time on his phone. They should be good for another half hour.

“Yeah, we should be fine.” They follow Krista into the kitchen. Ymir leans in the doorway as Reiner and Bert sit together at the bar. The short girl grabs a small bottle of orange juice from the fridge and sips from it as she leans against the counter. Reiner clasps his hands together and stares at them for a moment before sighing softly.

“So uhh…Ma’s talking about wanting to see us get engaged.” He hadn’t really meant to say it but it had made it’s way out anyway. Ymir is snickering from behind them and Bertholdt looks at her nervously. Krista's gaze pierces through Reiner like a dagger.

“No.”

“But…” Krista interrupts Reiner by holding her finger out. She drinks about half of her juice before slamming the bottle on the counter. A bit splashes out and Bertholdt must admit that he is slightly scared of the small woman.

“I said no. I’ll be your 'girlfriend' but I will _not_ be your ‘fiancée’. We are _not_ taking it that far. Capeesh?” Reiner nods slowly. Bertholdt is caught a little off guard. How could someone so cute, sweet, and mostly quiet be so _sassy_?

“Yeah, sorry…” Krista turns to dig through one of the cabinets.

“It's fine. I’m sorry if I was harsh. But…Reiner, you’ve got to stop living for your mother and start living for yourself.” Reiner hums softly and nods but his eyes widen once he notices what Krista is doing. She’s returned from the cabinet with a bottle of vodka and is now pouring it into the bottle containing the remainder of her orange juice.

“What do you think you’re doing…?” Krista chuckles softly.

“Making a screwdriver…what does it look like I’m doing? No offense but I fucking hate your mom. I’m going to need this if you’re expecting me to get through the day.” Reiner stands and swipes the bottle from her before holding it over his head. Krista pouts and leaps for the bottle but only her fingertips graze the bottom.

“None taken and I understand but, you can’t show up tipsy to Thanksgiving dinner with my religious nut of a mother.” Krista crosses her arms with an angry look on her face. Suddenly, Ymir is between them. She steals the bottle away from Reiner and returns it to Krista, who gives a happy squeal when it’s returned to her hand. The taller woman pokes her finger into the blond man's chest.

“Don’t be a dick. She'll be fine.” Bertholdt shifts a little uncomfortably, not entirely sure what he has witnessed unfold within the past few minutes. _Is this normal for them?_ He can’t ignore the fact that they act like a weird little family and a piece of him wishes that someday he can be a part of it.

Reiner sighs in defeat and Ymir backs off. “Alright, let’s head out…” Krista pulls a dish of cranberry salad from the fridge and hands a pie she had made to Ymir. She chugs her screwdriver and tosses the bottle before happily skipping out behind her girlfriend.

 

* * *

 

 

When they arrive at Reiner’s house, Krista’s cheeks hold a light pink tint and she’s just a little more talkative than usual but nothing about her seems off enough for Karina to notice. She stands on the porch and fixes her outfit before tugging on Reiner's coat so he’ll turn around. “Good…?” He knows his mother is watching. She’s always watching. Reiner turns to face Krista before placing a soft kiss on top of her head and ruffling her hair slightly.

“Yes…and thank you.” She simply nods before fixing the hair that Reiner had messed up and following him inside. Bertholdt is nervous. There’s all too great of a chance that something will go wrong. Ms. Braun is already in the doorway. She’s on crutches now so it’s easier for her to get around by herself. She greets the four with a smile and Bertholdt tries his hardest to smile back. He reflexively reaches for Ymir’s hand before smiling at her nervously. She takes it with a gentle smile and squeezes it softly to reassure him that everything will be okay.

Karina greets them warmly. “Krista, sweetie you look so nice! Is that a new blouse?” Krista hands Reiner the bowl she had been holding before his mother attempts to go in for a hug. Karina holds her tight and all Krista wants is to be back in bed with her girlfriend at their own home. She hums softly before sliding her arms up to return the hug loosely.

“Thanks, yes it is.” She smiles sweetly before shrugging off her coat and hanging it on the rack. The two behind her follow suit.  Karina’s eyes fall on the bowl in Reiner’s hands and then to the pie in Ymir’s.

“Oh, you guys really didn’t need to bring anything. But thank you so much.” She sends Reiner to the kitchen with both of the dishes as she talks to the three in the hall.

“It really wasn’t an issue. You know how much I love to cook.” Karina cups Krista's cheek with a smile and Reiner returns from the kitchen to rescue her from his mother's overbearing nature.

“Ma, you know Bertholdt…and this is his girlfriend, Ymir.” Ymir steps up to Karina, holding her hand out with a wide smile. She speaks joyfully and Bertholdt thinks it’s odd because he's never seen this side of her but he must admit, it’s buyable. Ymir might have the best acting skills between the four of them, regardless of Krista’s prior experience with Karina.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Reiner's mother bypasses Ymir's hand and goes in for a hug instead. It isn’t as tight as the one Krista had received and she’s a little caught off guard but Ymir takes it with a wide smile, glaring at Reiner over his mother’s shoulder.

“It's nice to finally meet you too!” She pulls back and holds her hands on the brunette's shoulders. “And my, isn’t that dress just lovely? Where do you two find such pretty girls?” She shakes her head before leaning back on her crutches. Ymir smiles again and thanks Ms. Braun for the compliment as she makes her way over to Bertholdt.

“And Bert, aren’t you just as handsome as ever?” Karina reaches up to pinch one of his cheeks and he takes it with a smile. He’s thankful he hadn’t gotten a hug like the girls had. After greeting everyone thoroughly, Ms. Braun leads them to the living room where a new loveseat sits against the wall. Karina takes a seat in the recliner and Reiner and Krista take the loveseat, leaving the couch for the last two to enter the room. Ymir shifts uncomfortably after she sits down. She tugs her dress down a bit and crosses her legs. Usually, she'd be sitting with them wide open but something tells her Reiner’s mother wouldn’t be a huge fan of that.

Bertholdt holds out his hand and she takes it hesitantly. He’s trying to make the gesture seem as natural as possible. It feels unusual. Her hand is small and soft. It isn’t bad; it just doesn’t feel as secure as Reiner's hand. Karina situates herself before clearing her throat. She looks to the two girls and Bert

“So, how’re you kids doing? School okay?” They look at each other, unsure of who will answer first. Ymir and Krista look to Bertholdt and he begins to sweat nervously. Looks like they had singled him out. He sighs softly before pulling his hand from Ymir's and clasping his own together.

“It’s going pretty well for me...I don’t get out much though.” He chuckles softly before looking at the floor. He can feel Karina's eyes on him as he slowly grows more uncomfortable. Ymir takes his hand in hers again and squeezes it softly in an attempt to calm him down. “Vet school has me taking up to eighteen credit hours a semester so it’s a little rough…” Ms. Braun smiles softly.

“You’re a smart boy…you can pull through it.” Bertholdt returns the smile with a small nod before turning to look at Ymir. He’s thankful for her attempts to comfort him.

“What are you majoring in, Ymir? I’m afraid Reiner hasn’t told me.” Ymir is silent for a moment before she looks at Karina with a sweet smile.

“I’m a business major. Concentrating in management.” Well, she _had_ been a business major. Before she had decided to drop out and work a trade full time to support herself and Krista. She chooses to omit that part from her story. “It isn’t as hard as vet school but it requires quite a bit of travel for low-scale management experience before they introduce us to the big stuff.” She’s talking out of her ass and they all know it but Karina seems to be buying it.

“Oh my, you must be so busy! You two don’t see each other very often then, do you?” Bertholdt hums softly before murmuring a response.

“No, not really.”

“That must be hard on the relationship…how long have you two been together?” Ymir is a little taken aback by Ms. Braun’s blunt statement about their “difficult relationship”. Bertholdt is nervous. He hates being grilled like this.

“About a year now…” He looks to Ymir for confirmation and she nods as her eyes meet his.

“Yeah, just about a little over a year.” She turns to Karina with a smile. Ms. Braun hums softly. Reiner had told her that Krista had set Bertholdt up with her cousin but Reiner had only reunited with Bertholdt about three months ago. The pieces don’t quite fit together in her head but she takes it.

“Not too hard for you then…that’s quite a long time.” She smiles sweetly before turning her attention to Krista.

“What about you, sweetie? Is psychology still treating you well?” Krista returns her smile.

“Better than ever.” The room is awkwardly silent for a moment after Reiner's mother has finished her interrogation. Reiner anxiously rubs his hands against his knees and Krista grips his wrist gently before giving him a look, signaling for him to calm down a bit.

“Ma, I think we're going to head downstairs. Call us when the meal is ready?” Karina smiles and nods.

“Alright, I’ll let you know.” She watches her son as he leads his friends to the basement door. Bertholdt is confused but he doesn’t question it. Reiner waits for the other three to stand on the landing of the stairs before shutting the door behind them and leading them down to the set of couches situated at the back of the rather well-furnished basement. Bert sits with a deep sigh, relieved to be away from Karina for even the slightest moment. Reiner stands on his toes to crack the basement window before joining Bertholdt on the couch. His heart warms when the blond sits beside him.

“So…your mom just lets you bring your so-called 'girlfriend' down to a secluded basement without supervision?” He catches the girls stealing a kiss from the corner of his eye.

“She uhh…she doesn’t really bother me here. When I started getting older, she decided I needed my own ‘worship space' where I could be alone with just…me and God…” He clears his throat awkwardly. “Long story short she thinks I’m either converting you or we’re holding a prayer circle. She won't bother us.” Reiner pulls a small wooden box from beneath the couch as Bertholdt wrinkles his nose. He doesn’t really like the thought of how Reiner must’ve been raised but he’s thankful for any moment away from Karina that he can get.

Reiner sets the wooden box on the coffee table between the two couches before reaching over to turn the radio on, making sure that the volume is low enough that his mother won’t hear. Led Zeppelin quietly flows through the speakers as Bertholdt attempts to calm himself further. The girls look like they’re waiting expectantly when Reiner reaches for something behind the couch. It’s a bong. Bertholdt is more than surprised and suddenly his anxiety has returned.

“Umm…” Reiner turns to look at Bertholdt before setting the pipe on the table.

“Oh, shit…I didn’t even tell you.” Reiner scoots a little closer to his boyfriend, a concerned look on his face. He’s good at forgetting to tell Bert about these kinds of things. “We don’t have to. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Bert pauses, taking a minute to search Reiner's eyes. He really cares about him.

“No, I don’t really have an issue with marijuana but…you’re really doing it _here_ of all places?” Reiner shrugs slightly.

“Why not? I’ve been doing it for years.” Bertholdt stares at him, astonished.

“With…with your mom…in the house? Reiner, that’s…that’s really pushing it.” Reiner simply shrugs once more.

“I’m good at hiding it.” He sits up to light a stick of incense before leaning back against the couch.

“Reiner…I don’t think lighting a stick of incense counts as 'hiding it’.”

“It covers the smell for long enough and she just thinks the incense is for spiritual connection or some other bullshit.” The girls sit silently as they watch their conversation unfold.

“Alright…as long as you’re certain. I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about it. I promise we'll be fine.” Reiner smiles before squeezing Bert’s hand softly and washes most of his worry away. Reiner pulls a lighter and a small bag of pre-ground weed from the wooden box. He packs the bowl of the bong and takes a small hit before handing it across the table to Krista. Bertholdt watches the small blonde with wide eyes as she takes the largest bong hit he’s ever seen. She coughs softly when she’s finished before taking a sip of water from a bottle Reiner had handed her.

When the pipe makes it’s way around to Bertholdt, he politely refuses. He’s tried smoking weed a few times and he enjoys it every once in a while but it isn’t really his cup of tea. He’s already a nervous wreck as it is and there’s no way of telling whether it’ll calm him or just make his anxiety worse. When the three are finished, Reiner puts everything back from where he had gotten it and leans back against the couch before resting his hands on his stomach. Bert watches as the stick of incense goes out before sitting up to light another just in case the first wasn’t enough.

“What now?”

Reiner turns to look at him slowly before giving him a goofy smile. “I was just planning on vegging out down here until Ma calls us up.” Ymir nods in agreement. Krista has thrown her legs up across Ymir's lap and the taller woman has returned to her usual sitting position. Bertholdt hums softly before sliding closer to Reiner. They must be pretty confident that his mother won’t bother them so he decides to lean against his boyfriend's shoulder before sliding an arm around his waist with a soft sigh. Reiner looks down at him with a lazy gaze before running a hand through his soft hair.

“Gettin' a little long.” Bert smiles before reaching up to lightly pat Reiner’s head.

“So is yours...looks nice.” Reiner thanks him with a smile and the room is comfortably free of conversation for a few moments. Krista has fallen asleep and Ymir is close behind her. Reiner shifts a little closer and rests his chin on Bert’s head.

“Hey…”

“Hey.”

“Wanna make out?” Bertholdt sits up straight before hissing through his teeth.

“ _Reiner_.” He punches the blond man's shoulder lightly. “ _No_ , I don’t want to make out.” Reiner laughs softly and is extra careful to stop himself before he can fall into a fit. A few snorts and snickers slip out as he attempts to calm down but he ultimately succeeds. Bert watches with a smile as his boyfriend leans back and closes his eyes with a smile. Reiner sighs softly before squeezing his hand.

“I love you…like, really really… _a lot_. So so much. Very much.” He isn’t quite sure if the sentence fits together well but it conveys what he’s meaning to say so he doesn’t try to correct himself. “I’m sorry you’ve gotta put up with my bullshit all the time. I mean, you don’t _have_ to…but you do. And it really means a lot to me.” Bertholdt smiles softly before shifting a little closer.

“Reiner…” The blonde cracks an eye open before leaning against the other man.

“You’re really…you’re really sweet to me. And nice. So so nice. And I really am a terrible person and I don’t know why you’ve stayed with me for this long. And…and I really think you deserve better than what I have to offer…” Reiner drops Bert's hand with a sigh before bringing his own up to stressfully card through his hair. Bert can tell he's about to start rambling again and decides to cut him off with a chaste kiss.

“Baby…” Bert blushes softly. He isn’t used to using the word in this context. It seems to surprise Reiner as well. “Shh. Everything’s okay. You’re wonderful and I love you. You don’t need to worry.” He runs his hand over his boyfriend's back in an attempt to soothe him and he assumes it works because he feels Reiner relax into his touch.

A knock on the basement door startles both of them. Karina doesn’t open it but yells as she stands on the other side. “Kids, the food's ready!” Reiner takes a calming breath and sobers himself up before calling back.

“Alright, Ma. We're just finishing up. Be up in a bit.” He stands to shake the girls, waking them from their short nap before sliding open the top drawer of one of the end tables. He pulls out a bottle of eye drops along with a bottle of cologne, and a bottle of perfume that he assumes Krista keeps here for these occasions. The blond puts some eye drops in his own eyes and hands them to Krista once she’s finished spraying herself. He applies a touch of cologne before handing it to Bert.

“Better safe than sorry.” Bertholdt nods with a smile before spritzing himself twice. Reiner puts everything away and leads his friends upstairs, making sure to close the door behind them quickly just in case the smell hadn’t made it's way out of the basement yet. The hall they enter after emerging from the basement smells _amazing_. Ms. Braun might have her flaws but there’s no denying that she’s a great cook. Reiner pulls her into a quick hug after entering the kitchen.

“Thanks, Ma.” The girls sit across from each other on the far end of the table, leaving the two seats closest to Karina for the guys. Reiner helps his mother place the last few dishes on the table before taking his seat. He’s been trying to help his mother around but she continues to insist that she’ll be fine on her own. Karina sits at the head of the table and grabs each of the boys' hands before bowing her head. Reiner motions for the girls to follow suit. Karina starts a prayer and Reiner quite eerily and quite easily falls into unison with her. Reiner clears his throat and keeps his eyes down once the prayer is finished.

Karina starts the rotation of food with a soft smile, passing each dish to Bert once she's served herself. Everyone begins eating once each dish has made its way around and for the first time today, Bert feels like he can relax. Karina doesn’t speak as much as she had earlier and everyone is a little thankful for that. Bertholdt feels a foot brush his own about halfway through the meal and flashes a quick look at Reiner. He doesn’t particularly enjoy the thought of playing footsie with his boyfriend when his unaccepting mother is sitting right next to him but he returns a small tap anyway.

Reiner smiles slightly and pulls his fork from his mouth before tangling one of his legs with the brunet’s. Bertholdt thinks Reiner might be staring at him for a little too long and he nervously glances at Karina to make sure she isn’t watching. She’s making small talk with Krista from across the table, all attention on the shorter blonde. He taps Reiner's foot again as a warning before pulling his leg back a bit. The next time he feels his boyfriend's foot, it’s making it’s way up his leg and he stops it before it can go any further by kicking Reiner away completely and giving him a stern look. Bertholdt tucks his legs away beneath his own chair as Reiner gives him a goofy smile.

Everyone is finished eating, chatting away and attempting to dodge Karina's awkward questions, when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He shoots Reiner a look before sliding his phone from his pocket, being sure to keep it hidden beneath the table. He isn’t sure how Ms. Braun feels about phones at the dinner table but the last thing he wants to do is upset her.

“Dummy<3: got plans after this?” He looks up from his phone to meet Reiner’s eyes once more, receiving a faint smile in return. He scoots a little closer to the table and tries to hold his phone out of sight, glancing at Karina every now and then as he types.

“No why” Bertholdt sets his phone to silent and lays it face down in his lap after sending the message. He sits up to look at Reiner from across the table. If he’s on his phone, no one can tell. From where Bert is sitting it just looks like Reiner has his hands resting in his lap and he holds eye contact with his mother while speaking to her, save for a quick glance or two down. He wonders how many other special talents Reiner has developed in order to sneak around his mother.

“Dummy<3: wanna go somewhere” Bertholdt tries to make his messages as short and quick as possible.

“?”

“Dummy<3: windmills?”

“Dummy<3: ;)” Bertholdt smiles softly at the last message and pockets his phone before Karina has a chance to catch him. Reiner is looking at him expectantly and Bertholdt smiles as he taps his foot gently before responding with a faint nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this fic is starting to look kind of like a monster and I'm thinking that it might end up ending in around ten chapters (don't quote me on that) so I'm thinking of maaaaaybe merging earlier chapters (that can fit well together) because they're the shortest. I'm not too sure yet but I'll keep you guys updated!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all of the porn lol (not really (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵) enjoy~)

The rest of their time at the Braun residence goes surprisingly well and they end up leaving after Krista mentions something about needing to help her mother prepare for their family dinner the next day. Karina had seen them out less awkwardly than she had greeted them and Bertholdt recalls hearing Reiner mention something about helping Krista out at her parents' place for a few hours before he heads out to the car. When they drop the girls off at home, Krista parts in a less than friendly manner that catches Bertholdt off guard. Ymir assures him that everything is fine and she’s not angry at them, she just tends to get a little snappy after spending a day with Reiner's mother.

They’re alone in the truck now, parked in the grass parallel to the old country road that faces the wind turbines. Reiner has his cock shoved halfway down Bertholdt's throat when he hears the crunch of gravel beneath car tires. It isn’t a big deal; a few cars had already gone by and each time it happens he tries to look as inconspicuous as possible, seemingly alone in the cab. But this time it’s different. The car doesn’t pass and Reiner checks the rearview mirror to find a sheriff's car parked behind the truck, lights flashing.

“Shitshit _shit_.” He hears the car door slam shut as he pushes Bertholdt out of his lap and stuffs himself back into his jeans before refastening them. Bertholdt sits up in confusion at first but then panic sets in when the lights catch his eye. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before scrambling to right his clothes and fix his hair as the officer arrives at Reiner's window. He already has the window down and his hands are visibly presented on the wheel when he flashes the officer his charming smile.

“Evening, officer. Anything I can help you with?” The sheriff clears his throat and shifts his weight to one leg before responding.

“Evening. Don’t worry, you aren’t in any trouble or anything. I was just called out here on a couple of reports of a suspicious vehicle.” The officer bends slightly to get a good look into the cab and Bertholdt's stomach drops. Erwin. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’re you two doing all the way out here?” Reiner is silent. Bertholdt looks at him eagerly, hoping that he'll come up with something soon but it never comes. _Geez, you’d think a guy that's made a life of sneaking around and lying to his mom would be better at this._

“W-we’re just enjoying the view.” Bertholdt does his best to stop fidgeting and pulls his lips together in the best fake smile he can manage. Erwin shifts his gaze to the man in the passenger seat and a hint of recognition flashes behind his icy blue eyes. Bert gulps nervously as the officer holds eye contact for a bit longer than he would prefer. A smile breaks Erwin's stern image for the first time during their encounter before he looks out at the vast field of wind turbines in front of them. The sun is starting to set now and the pink tint covering the landscape really makes the scene look stunning.

“Well…there’s no crime in that.” He taps the top of the truck a few times before standing fully and addressing Reiner. “You kids stay out of trouble, alright? And uhh…if you’re gonna be fooling around, I suggest you go ahead and go home instead of hanging around out here where anyone can see you.”

Reiner nods quickly and stutters out a nervous “Y-yes, sir.” as Erwin leaves them.  He turns to Bertholdt with a mortified look on his face before tipping his head back against the headrest with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes.

“Oh God, he definitely knew the whole time.” Bertholdt laughs nervously.

“Yeah…but I mean, what else would two college kids be doing parked out in the country?”

“You’ve got a point…” Reiner peeks an eye open and looks through the side mirror to find Erwin returning. “ _Dammit_.” He sits up and smiles at the other blond as he comes back to the side of the truck. Erwin bends to look into the cab again, attention directed at Bertholdt.

“I’m sorry but I can’t shake this feeling…do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar.” Bertholdt gives him a nervous smile.

“No, sir. I…I don’t believe we've ever met.” Erwin returns the smile and nods.

“Ahh, well, sorry to bother you two again. Have a nice night.” He gives them a polite wave before returning to his car; hopefully for good this time. Reiner releases another heavy sigh as he rolls his window up.

“Oh man, cops make me so nervous.” He chuckles nervously as he starts the truck and checks his mirrors before pulling onto the road.

“I mean, it’s not like we were doing anything really _wrong_.” Bertholdt shrugs. “Not unless we were to be genuinely caught.”

“Yeah…dude was pretty intimidating though.”

“Reiner, that’s kind of his job.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he unbuckles his seatbelt before sliding into the middle seat and fastening himself in once more. Reiner gives him a quick side-eye.

“What’re you doing?” Bert smiles sweetly as he slides a hand over Reiner's knee.

“Thought maybe I’d finish you off on the way home…is that alright?” Reiner hums softly and raises an eyebrow as he glances at his boyfriend again.

“I mean…if you want. The windows aren’t tinted and it’s still kind of light out.” Bert's long fingers creep up to play with the fly of his boyfriend's jeans.

“I don’t mind. I want to.”  He smiles sweetly as he tugs the zipper down. “But eyes on the road please, I’d rather not die with your dick in my hand.” Reiner chuckles softly.

“Yeah...Imagine being the guy that has to explain it to the parents.” He hisses as Bert's slightly cold fingers grip his cock and pull it free from the confines of his pants. The encounter with the officer had made him go soft but he's already half hard with Bertholdt touching him again. Bert squeezes the length in his hand and strokes a few times before rolling his thumb over the head and moving the pre-cum over Reiner's shaft on the down stroke. He receives a groan in response and begins to set a steady pace.

They’re about halfway back to the dorm but Reiner still doesn’t feel like he'll be able to finish. It’s great; hell, it might even be the best hand job he’s ever gotten but he’s too focused on driving to really enjoy the hand around his cock to the fullest extent. Bertholdt tightens his grip and speeds his strokes, attempting to get him there before they get home but it’s just making Reiner more frustrated. Reiner pulls into his usual parking spot and Bert continues with a pout.

“Are you close?” He glances nervously at the flickering light looming above the truck. “It'll take a while for anyone to notice us out here.” Reiner smiles faintly and pushes Bert’s hand away before tucking himself back into his pants.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. Besides, I was thinking we could take care of it in a different way…” He leans over to press his lips to Bert's before pulling back with lust-filled eyes, nodding towards the residence hall. “What do you say?” Bertholdt nervously chews on his lip.

“Shouldn’t you be home soon? You told your mom you’d only be gone for a few hours…”

“I miss you…and I want to stay here tonight. I’ll just give Ma a call and tell her I’ve got some academic things to do so I’ll be at the dorm. She should be fine since she can get around the house on her own now.” Reiner smiles sweetly and pats his boyfriend’s knee before shutting off the truck. Bertholdt nods and smiles as his nerves settle. He's suddenly a little more excited to get inside.

Bertholdt speaks quickly as he eagerly drags Reiner through the front doors. “I don’t mind you staying but I’ve got dinner with my parents tomorrow and I should probably leave a little early. Maybe noonish?” He continues to speak as he presses the button for the fifth floor and leans against the back of the elevator. “You could come with me if you want; you’re always welcome and mom always makes too much food. It’s up to you though, I don’t mind.” Bert tugs his boyfriend's hand as they exit the elevator.

“Will there be snickerdoodles…?” Bert turns to flash Reiner a wide grin as he pulls him down the hall.

“Maaaaaybe.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Reiner grins back and squeezes his hand as the taller man works at getting the door unlocked, his eyes drifting a few doors down where a luggage cart rests against the wall. “Someone move out?” Bert pushes the door open and flips the light on as he leads Reiner in.

“Ahh, yeah. I guess both guys dropped out first semester…the RA posted in the group chat that a new set of roommates are moving in early to start next semester but I’m not entirely sure if they have yet or not.” He shrugs as he sits on the bed to remove his dress shoes. “You know how it is…no one really socializes with each other.” Reiner nods as he lingers in the doorway. Even though he enjoys making friends, one of his favorite things about living here had been the silence of the floor and everyone's general disinterest in knowing each other. For Reiner, it had been a breath of fresh air. No one knew him and no one wanted to know him and he was fine with that; he’d been given a second chance to live for himself and get away from his mother, or so he had thought.

“I’m going to go ahead and call Ma.” Reiner points his thumb towards the elevator lobby as he turns on his heel. Bertholdt smiles sweetly in response.

“Alright, I’ll be here.”

“And don’t get undressed yet, that’s my job.” Bertholdt receives somewhat of a lazy smirk from his boyfriend before he disappears to call his mother. Bert can feel the blush creep its way up his neck and he shifts against the mattress slightly before deciding to stand. The brunet fidgets as he paces nervously. He decides to switch on the string lights before continuing his pacing. He loves the way the soft light looks against Reiner's eyes. 

Bertholdt's heart catches in his throat when he thinks back to the last time they’d had some real time alone together. It seems like forever ago now. _Nervous…why am I so nervous? It’s just Reiner._  He sighs softly before leaning against the edge of the bed as he gives himself a bit of a pep talk.   _Relax. Just relax. You’ve done this with him before. No need to be nervous._ Bert takes another deep breath before beginning to twiddle his thumbs.

Bertholdt has calmed himself down considerably by the time Reiner returns. The blond grins wide as he enters, making sure to latch the door behind himself. “All’s good for tonight and tomorrow. I didn’t even have to convince her.”

Bert smiles at him sweetly before crossing his ankles. “That’s good…get the lights?” Reiner flips the switch and kicks his shoes off as he makes his way across the room. He stands in front of Bert and slowly slides his hands along the tops of the taller man's thighs before allowing them to rest on his hips with a wide grin. The blond presses himself closer as he gently tugs at his boyfriend's belt loops.

“Mhh…been thinking about getting my hands on you all day.”

Bertholdt gives him a sly look before parting his legs and allowing Reiner to come closer. “Uh-huh, I bet you were…perv.” He grins wide after rolling his eyes.

Reiner scoffs playfully. “Me _? Perv_? Nah…” He pauses and smirks slightly. “...Alright, maybe just a little bit...” Reiner presses Bertholdt’s knees a bit further apart so their bodies can fit together fully and returns his hands to the other man's hips before dipping his head down to press a soft kiss to the corner of his lover's mouth. He presses a couple more to the same spot before shifting to kiss him fully. Bertholdt smiles into it as he brings his arms up to rest on his boyfriend's shoulders. Soft presses turn into hot opened-mouth kisses and then their tongues meet, twisting together as Reiner slowly presses Bert into the mattress. Bertholdt allows his hands to slide down and rest on the upper half of Reiner's back as their position changes. He arches off of the mattress slightly when he feels a hand slide beneath his shirt, pressing into the touch.

Reiner runs his thumb down the center of Bertholdt's stomach as he pulls away to press soft kisses down the column of his boyfriend's neck. Bert pants softly as he catches his breath, his hand coming up to rest in blond hair. He gasps as the man over him starts to nip and suck at his skin. Reiner has always had a thing for marking him, claiming him, and Bertholdt would be lying if he said he didn’t have a thing for it as well. Reiner makes brief eye contact as he pulls back before dipping back down to suck another spot into the side of Bertholdt’s neck.

Bert allows a soft moan to push past his lips. He drops a hand from Reiner’s shoulder before skimming his fingers down the other man’s side to play with the hem of his shirt. Reiner pulls away to look into Bert’s eyes when he feels the little tugs at his shirt, the brunet’s eyes seemingly saying all that needs to be said. The blond steps back to rid himself of his shirt. When Reiner steps back over to the edge of the bed, Bertholdt scoots back to make more room for the other man.

Reiner quickly climbs back over him with a grin before sliding his sweater up to take a nipple into his mouth. It had happened so fast that the action had surprised Bert but after a moment he relaxes with a soft gasp. “O- _oh._ ” He tries not to squirm as his boyfriend rolls his tongue around the nipple in his mouth, becoming more sensitive by the second. Reiner backs off with a grin to help the brunet dispose of his sweater before leaning back down to press their foreheads together.

“You still doing alright?” Reiner speaks as he pants softly.

“Y-yeah.” Bertholdt responds breathlessly before hooking his legs around Reiner's waist and dragging him closer. He smirks when the man above him groans in response to the slight pressure added to his cock.  Bertholdt rolls his hips against Reiner’s and the other man allows his head to hang as he chews on his bottom lip. Reiner is almost painfully hard now and it’s becoming apparent that his pants are currently an enemy. It isn’t helping that Bertholdt has been fiercely grinding against him for the last minute or so. _Two can play this game_.

Reiner pants softly as he pulls away to sit up, Bert's legs still locked around him. He allows his hands to fall at the fly of the taller man's pants. Bertholdt is excitedly anticipating the removal of the aforementioned clothing item but it never comes. Instead, Reiner presses his cock firmly through his pleated slacks and receives a whine in response. Bert cuts the noise short when he silences himself with a knuckle and Reiner pouts. “ _Baby_ …” He grins wide as he gives his boyfriend another firm squeeze. “I’ll take them off if you'll let me hear you.”

Bertholdt swears that in that moment, his heart stops. _Why does Reiner always have to be so god damn sexy?_ He stares with wide eyes and nods as he slowly lowers his hand. Reiner continues to tease, only receiving soft groans and whimpers in response until Bert gets fed up with him.

“God dammit, Reiner. If I ruin this pair of pants because of you I swear to God...” Reiner chuckles softly before finally relenting, moving his hands up to slowly tug the pants off of his boyfriend's hips. He licks his lips once he sees the outline of Bert’s cock through his underwear before humming softly.

“Sorry…just really _really_ love the noises that you make...so sexy.” Bertholdt blushes and brings an arm up to rest on his forehead in a way of attempting to hide his face. Reiner tosses his boyfriend's pants to the floor and presses a soft kiss to his abdomen before leaning across him to reach into the top drawer of his nightstand. He retrieves the bottle of lube and box of condoms and tosses them onto the bed before returning to his spot over Bert.

Reiner kisses his boyfriend's abdomen softly before lowering himself onto his stomach and resting his head on the inside of the brunet’s thigh. Bertholdt whines softly when Reiner's mouth presses against his cock through his underwear. He pants softly as he sits up on his elbows to look at Reiner.

“H-hey, you don’t have to…umm…do that.”

Reiner hums softly before slipping his tongue out to press against the fabric firmly. “Want to…plus I owe you one from that night at my place.” Bertholdt is about to protest again but when his boyfriend's piercing hazel eyes meet his own, all of his worries wash away. His heart flutters in his chest and he lays back with a silent nod.

Reiner softly sucks along the outline of his cock, smirking slightly when Bertholdt groans. He slips his fingertips beneath the waistband of Bert’s underwear and takes his time tugging them off. Soon enough, they join the other clothes on the floor and Bertholdt is lifting his hips slightly in anticipation. Reiner flattens his tongue against the base of his cock and gives his boyfriend a nice, long lick to the tip before dipping his tongue into the slit to collect the pre-cum that had been pooling there. The blond pulls away with a sly grin and Bertholdt whines at the loss. His heart races when he hears Reiner uncap the lube and jumps slightly, gasping when he feels a cool finger press against his entrance.

“Sorry, should’ve warned you.” Reiner chuckles softly as he slides his finger back and forth, slowly teasing moans out of the man below him. After a minute or two Bertholdt is whining with need, practically begging Reiner to finger him or suck him off or something, _anything_. When Reiner finally presses a finger into him, he sighs with relief before rolling his hips down, searching for more.

“A-another…” Bertholdt rolls his hips down again and Reiner pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Bertholdt softly brushes a hand through his boyfriend's hair.

“Won’t hurt me, I promise.” Reiner hesitates but his worry disappears once Bert continues to grind down on his finger, moaning around soft puffs of air. He groans when his own cock twitches against his leg and nods before pouring more lube over his fingers. He gently works a second finger into Bertholdt, earning a moan in response. Bert doesn’t miss a beat, still rolling his hips down in a smooth rhythm.

“Fuck, babe…you’ve gotta slow down…” Bertholdt grins breathlessly before slowly coming to a stop.

“I won’t break, Reiner. It’s nnh…j-just a couple of fingers. I can handle it.” Reiner nods slowly before pressing his fingers a little deeper and scissoring them a few times. He slows his pace with a grin, knowingly frustrating the man beneath him. Bertholdt tries to press his hips down again but Reiner firmly grips one of his hips with his free hand, effectively halting the taller man's movements.

“R- _Reiner_ …please.” Bertholdt groans breathlessly as he wiggles his hips, attempting to find some source of friction. The blond continues his teasingly slow pace with a grin before lowering himself to lightly slide the tip of his tongue along the underside of his boyfriend's cock. Bert balls his fists in the sheets and raises his hips as his breathing quickens. Reiner takes the head into his mouth and swirls his tongue as he presses his fingers deeper. Bertholdt brings a hand down to thread through Reiner's hair as he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, doing his best not to buck his hips.

He’s a writhing mess within no time. Reiner had let go of his hip about a minute ago and Bertholdt had taken the opportunity to let himself go, hands gripping Reiner's hair tightly as he bucks into the wet heat of his mouth. “Hh-ahh f-fuck…Reiner…c-close.” Reiner grins around the cock in his mouth as he feels the man under him pull his hair harder before slowly withdrawing his fingers. Bertholdt gives him a needy, disappointed whine when Reiner pulls away from him completely.

Bertholdt sits up, his face flushed a deep red as he watches Reiner quickly slip out of his pants and underwear. Reiner watches the other man's gaze turn from one of admiration to one of slight worry as his eyes scan his body. He clears his throat awkwardly, causing Bert's eyes to snap back up to his own.

“I can take them out if you want…” Bertholdt hadn’t even taken the time to think about what sex with Reiner’s piercings would be like. He eyes them again and can’t suppress the thought that they look just a _little_ intimidating.

“Umm…alright, yeah…please. Just for tonight at least.” Reiner nods and Bertholdt watches as he walks over to his desk and starts to unscrew the ball at the end of the first bar before tugging it out and laying it on the desk. “How do those feel for you? Like…during sex?”

“Wouldn’t know.” Reiner shrugs as he replaces the ball on the last bar before setting it beside the others. “Haven’t had sex since I’ve gotten them.” Reiner takes a few steps towards the bed and Bertholdt hums as he sits up to rest his chin on his knees. Reiner stands in front of Bert with a smile as he grabs the small cardboard box from where he had tossed it and starts to pick at one of the flaps. “I have been waiting to use these…” He shakes the box for emphasis, causing its contents to rattle around inside. “…for _weeks_ now.” Bertholdt grins wide before sliding up to the edge of the bed and allowing his legs to hang off. He pours a little bit of lube into his hand before dropping it to stroke Reiner slowly.

“Yeah…your mom has made it kind of…” Bert clears his throat awkwardly and holds back a chuckle. “... _hard_ for things to progress.” Reiner groans as he pushes into Bertholdt’s hand, twitching slightly. Bertholdt grins as he raises an eyebrow. “Excited?” Reiner nods as he tosses a condom onto the bed before placing the box on the nightstand. He comes closer to slide his hands up and down Bert's sides before pressing him back gently. Bertholdt smiles before letting go of Reiner's cock to scoot up the bed, resting his head on the pillow before grabbing the condom and tearing open the wrapper.

He beckons Reiner with a finger and the other man is over him in no time. Bert slowly rolls the condom down Reiner's cock before pulling away with a smile and making himself comfortable. Reiner smiles back before applying more lube to himself as well as Bertholdt's entrance. He strokes himself a few times before resting the head of his cock against Bert's hole. “Are you ready?” Bertholdt presses down against him slightly with a nod. “You sure?”

“Mmh.. _yes_ , Reiner. Come on already.” Reiner presses in slowly, watching the man beneath him gasp and bite his lip. He pauses to brush Bert's bangs from his face with a smile. Bertholdt whines softly, the anticipation getting to him. “ _Reiner_ …” The taller man locks his legs around Reiner's hips and pulls him closer in an attempt to get him deeper. Reiner hadn’t been expecting it and he easily sinks in with a sharp gasp. Bertholdt is panting softly beneath him, wiggling slightly to adjust when Reiner looks at him with worry in his eyes.

“Bertl…I’m not hurting you, am I?” The brunet grins wide before resting his arms on his boyfriend's shoulders.

“N-not at all…I already told you, I’m not fragile. You prepped me pretty well, baby…so don’t worry.” Bertholdt blushes slightly as the pet name rolls off of his tongue but he has a feeling it'll get Reiner going. He isn’t wrong. Reiner gives him somewhat of a stunned look before nodding.

“A-alright…” He looks down at the space left between each of their hips and grips one of Bert's legs, unhooking it from around his own hip and slightly bending it towards the other man's body. Reiner keeps one hand on his boyfriend's hip and presses the other against the underside of his thigh as he pushes in the rest of the way. He groans softly and bends to press a soft kiss to Bert’s forehead before sitting up and pulling his hips back slowly. He presses back in just as slowly and Bertholdt groans in response.

“Feels g-good. Keep going.” Reiner continues his slow and steady rhythm, eliciting soft sighs and quiet moans from the man beneath him. He bends slightly to lock their lips together in a passionate kiss, tongue slipping out to press against Bertholdt's. His movements quicken as the kiss intensifies and he sits up straight to catch his breath. Bertholdt tips his head back on a particularly loud moan when Reiner slides his hand further up his thigh, gripping it just beneath the inside of his knee and pressing it further towards his chest.

“F-fuck, Reiner. Just like that…” He allows his head to roll back against the pillow as his fingernails lightly dig into his boyfriend's shoulders, the leg around the blond’s hip tightening. Reiner groans as he starts to press in harder, Bert's moans filling his ears and coercing him to change the pace. Bertholdt pulls him into a sloppy open-mouthed kiss, spilling his moans down his boyfriend's throat until a misplaced thrust presses directly against his prostate.  “Ahh, R- _Reiner! …fuck.”_ Reiner groans softly before pressing in deeper, watching himself slide in and out as moans continue to flow from Bert's mouth

“Sh-shit…Bertl, I-“ A soft knock cuts Reiner off. He pauses and Bertholdt whines softly, both listening for the noise again and both secretly hoping they had just been hearing things. Reiner gives a heavy sigh and curses under his breath when the knock comes again and he withdraws from Bertholdt slowly. He mouths him an apology before stripping the condom from his now half hard erection and pulling on a pair of sweatpants. The knock comes again and he responds with an annoyed grumble. “Be there in a sec!”

The person on the other side of the door is met with a grumpy, sweaty, half hard, and half dressed Reiner. Marco stammers out half of a prepared statement once the door opens. “S-sorry to intrude b-but umm-“

“Bodt?” Reiner takes a quick glance behind him before stepping into the hall and pulling the door closed, keeping the man inside out of sight as he lowers the volume of his voice. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Marco finally looks up at the man in front of him before recognizing him. He gives Reiner a look of distaste before crossing his arms.

“Oh, it’s _you_.” Reiner chuckles softly as he leans against the door.

“Okay, I know I fucked your boyfriend like…” Reiner looks up at the ceiling, thinking as he counts on his fingers. “…five times before you were even together but that doesn’t mean we have to be enemies. Especially since it’s been like two whole years…but way to hold a grudge, dude.” Marco rolls his eyes.

“It wouldn’t be a problem for me if you didn’t bring it up every time we run into each other.” A slight smile breaks Reiner's tough demeanor and he crosses his arms before eyeing the shorter man suspiciously.

“Alright, fair enough. But seriously, what are you doing here?” Marco points his thumb down the hall.

“Just moved in next door. I’d appreciate it if you’d tell your newest conquest to keep it down. Jean's getting pissy.” Reiner gives Marco an irritated look at the usage of the term “newest conquest”. _If only he knew_. Even though it’s been two years, Reiner is aware that his past reputation will not be forgotten. At least not by Marco, that is. Reiner gives him an insincere smile before patting his shoulder firmly.

“Alright, thanks for the request. Send Jean my regards.” He ignores the look that Marco gives him and turns to open the door just enough to get inside. He latches it quickly before turning to look at his boyfriend with a smile.

“What’s up? Who was it?”

“Oh, no one…just the neighbors.” Reiner slips out of his pants and strokes himself to full hardness before pulling on a new condom.

“O-oh…” A bright blush spreads across Bert's cheeks. “Do I need to be quiet?” Reiner gives him a reassuring smile before shaking his head.

“Nah, they just dropped by to say hello.” He taps Bert's hip lightly before grinning down at him. “You wanna roll over for me?” Bertholdt smiles at Reiner before sitting up to roll onto his stomach. He plants his knees apart and raises his ass in the air before wiggling it with a grin. The blond uncaps the lube and slicks himself and Bert up again before slowly guiding himself in. He grips the other man's hips, starting at a slow pace. Bertholdt sighs when the full feeling returns and he rolls his hips back to engulf Reiner entirely. The grip on his hips tightens and Reiner groans above him.

Bertholdt grips the sheets when Reiner's thrusts start to get rougher, his boyfriend’s cock just grazing his prostate. He listens to the mattress creaking beneath them mixed with the sounds of their skin slapping together as he moans loudly. “F-faster! Oh god, fuck me faster.” Bert pants heavily as he rolls his hips back, attempting to get as much of Reiner as he can.

Reiner groans softly before holding Bert's hips still, causing the man beneath him to whine. “ _Shit_ …” Bertholdt continues to whimper as he pushes back against Reiner's cock. “Baby I-I…” He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as the roll of Bert's hips continues to pull him in.  Bertholdt presses back harder, panting as a sly grin spreads across his face.

“Y-you gonna cum soon, Reiner?” The blond rocks his hips forward hesitantly before bending to press a kiss to the back of Bert's neck.

“Yeah…nnh…d-don’t want to yet.”

“Aww, c'mon _baby_ , I’m almost there too…” Bertholdt speaks breathlessly, giving Reiner the push he needed to continue fucking him into the mattress. His breath hitches when Reiner pushes deep, his hands tightening on Bert's hips as his cock twitches inside of him. It’s quiet for a moment as Reiner catches his breath. He pulls out slowly before sliding off the condom and tying off the end before tossing it into the trashcan beside the nightstand.

Reiner flips Bert over gently. “C’mere…” He swallows his boyfriend’s cock without warning and hums appreciatively when he feels a hand grip his hair tightly. Reiner lets him fuck his throat and it doesn’t take Bertholdt long, only a minute until he's cumming in his boyfriend's mouth. Reiner swallows around him a few times before pulling off with a smile. He snuggles up next to Bert as the taller man catches his breath.

“Fuck…”

“Good?”

“Very.” Bertholdt rolls to face Reiner before wrapping his arms around him with a smile. He plants a soft kiss on his forehead and then another on his cheek. He brings a hand up to card through blond hair. “I love you so much Reiner…nev-“

“ _-er forget that.” The wind blows around them as they lay in the field with their fingers intertwined. They've folded their jackets up to use as pillows and have been laying out here for a couple of hours now, determined to forget the world around them. Reiner nods as he cups Bertholdt's cheek with a free hand before kissing him softly. He pulls back to look into the other man's_ _clear olive eyes as a few tears prick at the corners of his own._

_“Never. I’ll never forget.” He lets them fall as Bertholdt kisses them away._

“-ner? Hey...Reiner? Are you okay?” Bertholdt's hands are on his cheeks, gently wiping away the tears that have started to fall. Confusion overtakes him as he touches his own face, not noticing he had been crying.

“U-umm yeah.” He nods slowly before smiling softly.

“What’s up? Why are you crying?” Reiner wipes his tears away, already having forgotten the memory.

“I’m just so happy…to be loved, y'know.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he holds Reiner closer.

“You big softie…I’ve always loved you.”

Reiner smiles as he nuzzles into his boyfriend's chest, a slight glimpse of the scene from before pushing back into his mind. He isn’t quite sure what it means but he decides to figure it out later because right now he just wants to fall asleep in Bert's arms. “Yeah…I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm on break from Uni right now (Yay!) but I'm working full time until next semester starts (Aww). I had no trouble maintaining this schedule last time I worked full time but since it's been so long and I've had so much free time lately I'm not entirely sure how well I'll fall back into the routine. Hopefully, I'll be able to work through everything smoothly but if not, chapters may end up being delayed by a couple of days until I switch back to part-time. :(


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two big babies have a heart-to-heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains very mild usage of a homophobic slur.

Bertholdt groggily reaches for his phone to turn off his loud alarm. He pulls his other arm from beneath the man beside him and shakes the fuzzy feeling from it before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He hadn’t slept much that night – only a few hours – too distracted by what had happened to Reiner the night before. He remembers the way the blond’s eyes had glazed over and how he had been unresponsive for at least three minutes and a shiver runs up his spine. Reiner hadn’t said anything and had been pretty confused after coming to. The familiar feeling of dread settles in Bert's stomach as he finally comes to terms with what must be happening. He'll have to talk to Armin and Annie about it but it’ll have to wait until after today.

Bertholdt sighs softly as he stretches, wincing at the slight burn in his muscles. He shakes Reiner gently, earning a tired groan in response. “C’mon, we need to get ready.” Reiner groans again before rolling to face his boyfriend.

“Don’t wanna.”

“Hmm…alright. I guess I’ll just have to eat all of the snickerdoodles by myself then…” Reiner gasps as he bolts up and throws his arms around his boyfriend's waist.

“No! Don’t you dare!”  Bert chuckles softly before patting Reiner's forearm.

“Alright, alright…I’m going to go hop in the shower if you want to tag along.” Reiner hums as he slides his arms out from around Bertholdt.

“Yeah, I’ll join you.” He yawns before standing and stretching, groaning as his joints pop. “Damn…already getting old.” Bertholdt chuckles, rubbing his hips as he stands to approach the mirror hanging from the door.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.” He turns to look in the mirror before dropping his arms with a soft gasp. “Reiner…” He brushes his fingers against the dark bruises his boyfriend had left on the side of his neck the night before. They’re up too high. Reiner turns to look at him after wrapping a towel around his waist.

“Shit, Bertl. Babe…I’m sorry.” He comes closer to rest his own hand over the marks.

“Oh god, my parents are going to see.” Bert covers his face in mortification before giving a relieved sigh when he remembers something “Turtleneck...I’ve got a turtleneck. I’ll have to find it though…” Reiner pats his back softly, still apologetic.

“Come on, let’s go get cleaned up and then I’ll help you out…okay?” Bertholdt nods in response before wrapping his own towel around his waist and grabbing his toiletries along with a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He follows Reiner into the hall and locks the door before heading to the bathroom. Bertholdt turns to take a shower stall across from the blond and Reiner turns to him with a pout. “You’re not getting in with me?”

Bertholdt sighs as he slides his towel off and hangs it from the hook on the wall. “We could get in trouble…” He eyes the small cubicle behind his boyfriend. “And they’re a little small. I don’t think two guys our size would be able to fit very well.” Reiner smiles softly as he lightly grips Bert’s bicep.

“Alright, fair enough.” He pulls the other man down to give him a quick kiss before pulling back to step into his own shower. “I’ll try to be quick this time.”

Bertholdt smiles sweetly and thanks Reiner as he shuts the curtain. He washes his hair quickly before applying some conditioner and rinsing it out after about two minutes. Bert grabs a washcloth and pours a decent amount of shower gel onto it before beginning to wash himself. As he begins to work his way down, he notices a faint thumbprint-shaped bruise on his hip. He pokes his head between the wall and the curtain before hissing through his teeth. “Reiner.”

Reiner pokes his head out of his own shower. “Yeah?” Bertholdt pulls the curtain away just enough to show Reiner his latest discovery. A smirk slowly spreads across the other man's face as he shrugs. “Sorry.” He doesn’t sound the least bit apologetic. Reiner winks at him and Bertholdt sticks his tongue out in response before quickly closing his curtain to finish washing and rinsing off. He turns his water off and pats himself dry with his towel before slipping into his temporary change of clothes.

“I’m heading back now. Try not to take too long…I know how you are, Mr. water waster.” Reiner scoffs, the sound echoing off the walls of the shower stall.

“Pshh, whatever…I’m not a water waster.” He’s silent for a moment before sighing softly. “But alright yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.” Bertholdt smiles as he heads to the sink to brush his teeth before heading back down the hall to their room. He attempts to towel dry his hair on the way there, sliding the cloth over his dark locks as he walks. Bert allows the towel to rest on top of his head as he fumbles with his keys, attempting to find the right one.

He hears the door beside him latch and looks up to find Marco standing there, his own keys in hand and his face somewhat pale. Marco is still wearing the scarf Bert had given him two Christmases ago but both men choose to ignore it. Bertholdt flashes him a soft smile. “Hey, Marco. I didn’t know you lived here.” Marco does his best to return a smile. Bert holds his breath, nervous not only because he’s just found out that his first boyfriend is living next door but also because he and his current boyfriend, along with Annie, had murdered him in a past life.

“Yeah, just moved in.” He points his thumb at the door he had just exited. “Didn’t know you lived here either…thought this was Reiner's place.” Bertholdt shifts his weight to his other leg before sliding the towel from his head and hanging it on his shoulder. He sighs softly, relieved that Marco doesn’t seem to have awakened his memories yet.

“Yeah, half of it at least. We're roommates.”

“Oh man, that must suck…dude’s kind of loud isn’t he?”

“I mean, I suppose so. I don't really mind though…he was like that even when we were kids.”

“Ahh.” Marco shifts awkwardly as he is reminded of one less thing he has in common with Bertholdt. They’ve been broken up for about a year and a half now and even though Marco is happily involved with someone else, he had found it a little hard to get over the tall man in front of him. “And you don’t mind his... _escapades_?”

“Escapades? I’m not quite sure what you mean…” Bertholdt gives him a strange look before tilting his head in confusion and that’s when Marco notices the quite fresh looking marks on the side of the other man's neck. He chokes on a startled squeak and starts to feel a bit of warmth creep into his cheeks as the realization hits him.

“U-umm don’t worry about it…” His eyes dart to a hulking (and slightly smug looking) figure moving towards them from down the hall and panics slightly when he notices it’s Reiner. “A-anyway…its umm…it’s been good seeing you again, Bertholdt. H-happy Thanksgiving.” He smiles nervously at the taller man as he stumbles towards the elevator lobby. Bertholdt smiles sweetly at him before waving.

“Happy Thanksgiving! Tell your mom I said hi!” Marco nods before disappearing out of sight. Bertholdt continues to smile as he finally unlocks the door and pushes it open. Reiner follows him inside and kicks the door shut behind him before dropping his towel to the floor and walking to his desk to put his piercings back in.

“What was that all about?” Bertholdt sets his keys down before stripping off his shirt and heading over to the closet.

“Looks like I caught Marco on his way out…didn’t know he was one of the new guys, did you?” Reiner hums softly as he steps over to the dresser and digs through his underwear drawer.

“Yeah, kinda. He dropped by last night.” Bertholdt’s eyes widen slightly and he suddenly remembers the very obvious hickies on the side of his neck before clapping a hand over them.

“ _Reiner_ …is that why he was acting so weird?” Reiner just shrugs in response. “You told me they just came by to say hello!” He turns to continue digging through his closet with a huff.

“Well, that…and to ask us to stop having such loud sex.” Reiner grins wide and the color drains from Bertholdt's face. He’s mortified. Reiner drops his arms to his sides with a soft sigh. “Don’t worry about it too much, Bertl…I’m sure we'll get an earful of those two going at it at least once.” Bertholdt gives him a slightly confused look before realizing that Jean must be Marco's roommate. He nods slowly before turning back to the closest and digging to the back. He finally finds the green sweater and tugs it from the hanger before holding it up to his torso, hoping it still fits.

Bertholdt pulls his t-shirt over his head and tosses it into the hamper before pulling on the turtleneck. It’s a little tight but it’s better than nothing. Reiner clears his throat before breaking the awkward silence. “I’m umm…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about last night…” Bert hums softly as he tugs at the sleeves of his sweater.

“It’s fine.” Reiner turns to him with a slight frown before pulling on a nice dress shirt.

“It really isn’t…It was really shitty of me. He ticked me off and I ignored his request out of spite and I’m sorry I lied to you.” Bertholdt pulls on a pair of dark jeans before crossing the room to stand behind Reiner. He rests his hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders, rubbing soothing circles on them with his thumbs.

“I told you it’s fine.” He smiles before leaning down to press a soft kiss behind Reiner's ear. “If I were in the same situation as you and one of your exes had shown up at the door, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.” He slides his arms over the other man's shoulders with a soft hum. Reiner simply nods before leaning into the touch. Bert brings a hand up to play with Reiner's damp hair as he takes a moment to think. “How’d he tick you off...?” Reiner pushes a sigh through his nose before stepping away to pull on a pair of pants.

“Told me I should ask my 'newest conquest' to tone it down.” Bertholdt cringes slightly. He can understand why a comment like that would set the blond off.

“Did he uhh…did he know it was me?” Reiner shakes his head as he fixes his hair in the mirror.

“No. Didn’t tell him either. Wanted to see him figure it out on his own.” A slight grin tugs at the corners of his lips. “Looks like my wish came true…” Bertholdt nods slowly.

“Is that why he asked me if I minded your 'escapades'?” Reiner snorts before glancing at Bert through the mirror.

“Yeah, probably.”

“Why does he care so much?”

“He’s still mad that I fucked Jean. For some reason, he's chosen to hold a grudge against me for it.” Reiner shrugs before sitting on the edge of the bed to put socks and shoes on.

“Knowing Marco, he had probably had his eyes on Jean for a while…seeing the person you have feelings for running around with someone else is hard.” Bertholdt could think of another reason for why Marco would detest Reiner but he'd rather keep his mind off of the past for the time being.

 “It’s understandable but I just…I wish everyone would just forget about that part of me already. I’m not like that anymore and I don’t want people to treat me like I am. It’s frustrating.” Bertholdt strokes Reiner's arm soothingly as he sits beside him.

“You can get past this…I know you can. People who doubt you or your intentions will figure it out eventually. You're a sweet guy. I know that and your friends know that. Isn't that what matters?” Reiner smiles faintly before taking Bert's hand in his own and squeezing it softly. He nods slowly before dropping the other man's hand to slide it along his thigh and over his knee.

“Are we ready?” Bertholdt nods with a smile before standing and pulling his coat on.

 

* * *

 

 

It takes a little longer to arrive than Reiner had expected. He had forgotten how far away Trost actually was from the university. After about forty-five minutes, they're standing on the front porch of Bert's home. Reiner hums softly as he looks around. There’s a cute wooden swing at the end of the porch and the garden is as immaculate as ever. The house as a whole is a little too grandiose for Reiner's tastes but he had expected nothing less from a doctor and a lawyer. Bertholdt glances towards Reiner and smiles softly before pressing the doorbell.

Mrs. Hoover is at the door in seconds. “Bert, sweetie, you’re home!” She's got a large grin on her face as she holds her arms out to squeeze her son close. Reiner had almost forgotten about how much they look alike. She pulls away to look at Bert with small tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, staring at him for a short while before squeezing his shoulders with a smile. She grins wide again when her attention is turned to Reiner. “And Reiner! It’s been so long!” She steps down onto the porch and gasps before pulling him into her arms. “You’ve gotten so big…” She pulls back to get another good look at him before pinching a cheek softly. “And my goodness, so handsome.”

Reiner smiles softly as she pulls back. “Thanks, Mrs. H.” Bertholdt's mother looks between the two of them before motioning towards the house.

“Come on in. Let’s get you two warmed up.” Bert takes Reiner's hand and smiles as he leads him inside behind his mother. They slip out of their shoes and coats, hanging them up as Mrs. Hoover calls to the living room. “Honey, the kids are home!” Bert hears the footrest of the recliner retract and prepares himself to lie to his father about how much he’s enjoying college.

Bertholdt may have gotten his looks from his mother but his height comes from his father, who tops out at just an inch or two shorter than his son. “Hey buddy, how's it going? School going well for you?” The corners of Mr. Hoover’s eyes crinkle as he tousles his son's hair. Bertholdt smiles softly as he begins to worry at the hem of his sweater.

“I’m doing alright, dad…and yeah, school’s going pretty well.” In reality, Bert’s been feeling pretty burnt out lately and he isn’t entirely sure if he even wants to continue going to school but he can’t stand to see his parents disappointed in him. Mr. Hoover gives him a soft pat on the back before pulling him into a gentle embrace. He’s good at reading Bertholdt and can tell he’s nervous about something.

“Your mother and I are very proud of you, Bert. You can pull through this. I know you can.” Bertholdt smiles as his father reassures him and nods faintly before stepping aside. Mr. Hoover turns his attention to Reiner, who has been silently observing from his spot just behind Bertholdt. The taller man places his hands on Reiner’s shoulders and squeezes softly. “Damn kid, you really bulked up…Football?” Reiner grins wide as he slides his hands into the front pockets of his pants.

“Nah, hockey.” Mr. Hoover gives Reiner a skeptical look before leaning a bit closer.

“Hmm…I don’t know. You’ve got a pretty nice set of teeth for a hockey player.”

“Actually…” Reiner presses a finger against two of his top incisors. “These two are implants.” He slides his finger over the next tooth and presses against it gently. “And this one’s a repaired chip. I’ve taken a puck or two to the mouth in my lifetime.” Reiner chuckles softly as he shifts his weight to his opposite leg. Bert’s father chuckles softly.

“Yeah, that sounds more like it. Are you playing for the University now?”

“No, it was just a high school thing. I was good but figured I should quit unless I wanted to have a full set of dentures by the time I’m twenty-five.” Reiner chuckles as the two continue to banter about sports.

 Bertholdt had been trying to have a conversation with his mother while also listening to the conversation happening behind him but he’s quickly distracted from his father and Reiner when his mother tugs at the collar of his sweater. She’s standing on her toes and trying to get a good look at his neck, smiling at him when he gives her a nervous glance.

“Hmm…impressive.” Bertholdt squeaks softly and pulls back slightly before tugging his collar up.

“ _Mom_.” Mrs. Hoover grins wider before swatting her son’s arm playfully. She glances to the two men behind them before lowering her voice.

“Honey…If you’re going to try to hide hickies from your mother, you shouldn’t wear your hickey shirt when you visit. Concealer works better.” Bert blushes softly before crossing his arms nervously.

“I-I don’t have a ‘hickey shirt’. I just like this turtleneck…” His mom raises an eyebrow in suspicion. Now that Bertholdt thinks about it, the last time he had worn this shirt was in high school when he had been dating Marco…and was trying to hide a hickey. A rather loud gasp saves Bertholdt from the awkward confrontation.

“Oh my goodness, you still have Biscuit!” Bertholdt turns to find Reiner cradling the tawny cat with one arm, his other hand disappearing into the long fur on her chest. He grins wide before stepping closer to press a fingertip to her little pink nose.

“Of course. We could never even think of getting rid of you, right sweetie?” Bert baby talks the cat in Reiner’s arms before scratching her lightly behind her ears, receiving a content purr in return.

Reiner and Bertholdt had found Biscuit as a kitten when they were kids. She had been all skin and bones, crying and shivering alone in the rain. Bertholdt had picked her up to warm her in his jacket and since Reiner’s mother has never been a fan of pets, they decided to take her back to the Hoover residence where they had worried over her until Bert’s parents arrived home. Mrs. Hoover examined her that night and had determined that she only had a mild cold and with proper care, she should recover quickly.

Bertholdt had taken it upon himself to nurse the sickly kitten back to health and when she had returned to normal, the family had found it all too hard to let her go. After it was apparent that she would be around for quite a while, Bert had asked Reiner about names and he had chosen “Biscuit” due to the light golden tone of her fur. He also hoped that naming her after something doughy would somehow make her become doughy.

Bert isn’t sure if the name did it but Biscuit has certainly become doughy over the past few years. He smiles at Reiner as the memory passes and gives Biscuit one more pet before motioning towards his room. “Wanna play Sega?” Reiner gives his boyfriend a playfully astonished look.

“Is that even a question?” He follows Bert as the other man slowly leads him to his bedroom. Mrs. Hoover shouts a warning for them to keep the door open and Bertholdt rolls his eyes. Reiner chuckles quietly, still cradling Biscuit as he sits on the edge of Bertholdt's bed. He looks around the room and even though this isn’t Bert's childhood home, the space still emanates a familiar feeling of comfort.

Reiner flops back as Bertholdt sets up the game system. Biscuit curls up on the blond’s stomach when he crosses his arms beneath his head. He pets her softly as he turns his head to inspect the paintings above Bert's bed before his eyes fall on the nightstand beside the bed. His eyes light up when he sees a familiar strip of green wrapped around the base of the bedside lamp. It’s the friendship bracelet he had woven for Bert's eleventh birthday. The dark green threads have faded but the little heart charm has managed to stay in place. He reaches out to brush his fingertips against one of the frayed ends before carefully untying it from around the lamp.

“I can’t believe you kept this for so long…” Bertholdt turns away from the TV with a slightly confused look.

“Hmm?” His eyes fall on the bracelet in Reiner's hands and he blushes softly. “O-oh umm…yeah. I used to wear it but then it got too small so I just ended up keeping it by my bed.” Reiner smiles softly as he continues to play with the loose threads. “I remember when you gave it to me…you were so nervous.”

Reiner chuckles as he rolls onto his side, causing Biscuit to tumble off of him. She gives him a few irritated waves of her tail before walking to the end of the bed and curling up. “Yeah…I think that’s called being gay for your best friend but not noticing until you’re both almost twenty.” Bertholdt smiles softly before turning around to blow out the _Sonic the Hedgehog 2_ cartridge before putting it into the game console and turning it on. “Sonic or Tails?”

“Tails.”

Bertholdt sits down on the floor and leans his back against the end of the bed before holding the second controller out to Reiner. The blond climbs down off of the bed and settles himself between Bert's legs, resting his back against the other man's chest as he takes the controller. Bertholdt rests his chin on Reiner's shoulder and it’s silent for a moment as he starts the game. Reiner shifts a bit awkwardly before clearing his throat.

“Why’d you stop calling?” The buttons of their controllers click beneath their thumbs as they progress through stage one of Emerald Hill Zone.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” Reiner can feel Bertholdt's voice rumble against his back when he speaks and it’s oddly comforting.

“When you moved. Why did you stop calling?” Bertholdt sighs softly.

“I didn’t…I mean…yeah, I did but…I just thought you had lost interest.” Reiner snorts softly, controller going loose in his hand for a moment when he dies.

“Why would you think that?”

“Well…I guess it was because I always had to initiate… _you_ never called _me_ so I didn’t really think you were all that interested in talking anymore, y'know? Maybe high school had brought bigger and better things for you and I just didn’t fit…” Bertholdt smiles a bit sadly. “It was also around the time I realized my feelings for you were a little more romantic than friendly…so I thought maybe it would be alright if we ended up drifting apart a little…even if I didn’t want to.” Reiner frowns when he loses his second life before turning to look at Bert.

“Bertl…why didn’t you tell me?” Bertholdt shrugs, his grip slightly tightening around the controller.

“Didn’t know how you would react. I’m not sure if you remember but you weren’t the most accepting person back then.”

Reiner remembers. He could never forget. He recalls a time when they were younger when the two had gone to the supermarket with Karina. She had seen a gay couple with their children and had decided to make a few unsavory comments about them. At that time, Reiner had agreed while Bertholdt shifted awkwardly without saying a word.

Reiner remembers another occasion a year or two later when they were at the lake behind his house. It had been a particularly hot day and Reiner had suggested that they go skinny dipping and Bertholdt, shy as ever, had politely declined. Reiner had responded with something along the lines of “What, really? It isn’t like we're fags or anything. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Bertholdt had shied away after that. They didn’t swim that day because Bertholdt had claimed to feel sick before calling his mother to pick him up. Reiner realizes now that the other man hadn’t actually been sick. He had likely made Bert feel uncomfortable and maybe even a little threatened. Reiner had been his safest and almost only companion growing up and he had taken that safety away when he had uttered those words.

Reiner loses his last life, seemingly on purpose this time. “I’m…I’m sorry I was like that. I didn’t know any better.” Bertholdt is silent for a moment before speaking softly.

“It’s fine.” Reiner slowly slides down Bert's chest until his head is resting on the other man's stomach as he watches him finish the level.

“Bertl…”

“I _said_ it’s fine.” He huffs softly as he keeps his eyes trained on the television, surely trying to keep his mind off of the conversation at hand.

“It really isn’t…you need to stop being ‘okay’ with everything. It’s alright to be upset sometimes…” Reiner watches the other man's knuckles turn white as he grips the controller but his voice is still calm when he speaks.

“I’m not upset.” Reiner thinks he sees Bert's bottom lip quiver slightly and he turns his attention away from his face.

“Babe…it’s okay…I know I used to be umm… _mean_ …and even if it wasn’t directed towards you, I feel like it still affected you in some way.” Bertholdt is silent for a bit before pressing the power button on the game console with his big toe, too distracted at the moment to keep playing. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I didn’t move because my parents wanted me to go to boarding school.” He takes a shaky breath before tipping his head back against the bed. “I wanted to move so I could get away...I just told them I was interested in going to boarding school and they did the rest…” Reiner feels a lump begin to grow in his throat.

“You switched schools because of me…?” Bertholdt shifts uncomfortably before tilting his head and staring at no particular spot on the wall.

“Reiner…I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could’ve stayed!” The suddenness of Reiner's response startles Bert, causing him to jump slightly. “Y-you didn’t have to leave just because I was an asshole.” Reiner sits up to face him when Bertholdt gives him a slightly bitter smile. The brunet quickly becomes more upset and Reiner wishes he hadn’t started this conversation.

“Would you have bullied me after I came out? Or would you have just pushed me away? What about your friends? Would you have defended me if for some reason I had become the topic of conversation?” Reiner is silent as Bertholdt continues to speak in a bitter tone. He can hear the hurt in his boyfriend's voice and for the thousandth time, he wishes he could go back and change the way he was raised. “I thought ending it on my own terms was better than going through being pushed away and then ridiculed by my best friend.” Bertholdt's voice weakens, cracking as the last words leave his mouth.

He pauses for a moment as a few tears spring up at the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. “And…and then I saw we were assigned to the same room…and I-I was scared that you would somehow be worse than you were before I moved…but I was also excited to get to see you again, even if I’d have to hide part of my identity from you. And I was okay with that b-because you were my best friend and I _missed_ you…no matter how often I tried to tell myself I didn’t.” Reiner's expression softens when a few tears begin to streak down Bert's cheeks. “I-I’m sorry.” The taller man sniffles before wiping at his cheeks with the backs of his hands as they continue to fall.

Reiner reaches up to gently push Bert’s hands away and uses his thumbs to wipe away his tears. He holds Bertholdt’s face in his hands as he shushes him softly. “Don’t apologize…it’s okay to cry. But you need to calm down or you’re going to get yourself worked up…” Bertholdt hiccups as he nods. “Do you remember when we were little and you’d get yourself so worked up that you’d start hyperventilating and I would pat a rhythm out over your heart for you to time your breathing to?” Bert blinks more tears away, a breath catching in his throat as he tries to even them out.

“Y-yeah.”  

“Do you need me to do that again?” Bertholdt sniffles before smiling faintly, slowly beginning to calm down.

“N-no, I’ll be okay.” Reiner smiles as he leans closer, locking his hand with Bert's.

“Good.” He leans in to kiss away the remainder of his boyfriend's tears before pressing an obnoxiously loud kiss to his forehead, causing the brunet to giggle softly. “You got it all out now?” Bertholdt sniffles and nods as Reiner presses their foreheads together. “It’s good to talk about your feelings. Even the bad ones. And I’m…I’m really sorry. I love you. And I'm never going to stop loving you.” Bert is silent for a moment, smiling softly as he gently squeezes Reiner's hand.

“Since we talked about mine can we talk about yours?” Reiner's breath catches in his throat and his mouth hangs open slightly as he tries to gather his thoughts. No one has ever really asked him to talk about his feelings and he’s always been too focused on taking care of others to really care about himself.

“U-umm…I-“ He’s cut off by a soft knock against the doorframe. It’s Mrs. Hoover, likely drawn to the room by the commotion of raised voices from a few minutes earlier.

“Everything alright in here?” Reiner and Bertholdt pull apart, both blushing in slight embarrassment. Bert turns to look at his mother with a smile.

“Yeah, mom. We're fine.” Mrs. Hoover smiles back, a hint of worry left in her expression after seeing her son's slightly puffy and red eyes.

“Alrighty, just checking. Dinner should be ready soon.” Bertholdt thanks his mother and she heads back into the kitchen. The brunet turns back to Reiner, searching his hazel eyes as he awaits an answer. Reiner clears his throat and shifts his eyes away.

“Are you staying here tonight?” He fidgets a bit nervously before finally meeting his boyfriend's gaze.

“Yeah…why?”

“Can I stay too?” Bertholdt frowns slightly in response.

“What about your mom?” Reiner sighs softly and begins to twiddle his thumbs.

“I don’t…I don’t actually need to stay there anymore. She told me she would be fine on her own and she'd call me if she needed anything.” Bertholdt nods slowly.

“Okay…I’ll have to ask Mom but I’m sure she'll say yes…you’re like a second son to her.” He smiles softly before meeting Reiner's eyes. The blond seems to be a bit surprised. He had never really thought of Mrs. Hoover as a second mother but now that he thinks about it, she’s never treated him any differently than she treats Bertholdt. Reiner tries to avoid imagining himself as her son-in-law instead of somewhat of an unofficially adopted son but he can’t shake the joyful image that his mind has already conjured up.

“Boys! Dinner!” Mrs. Hoover calls to them from the kitchen and Reiner pulls himself away from his own thoughts to look at the man in front of him.

“We can talk later, okay?” Reiner wraps the frayed green bracelet around Bert's ring finger a few times before standing and offering him a hand. Bertholdt stares at his finger for a moment before taking Reiner's hand with a smile and pulling himself up. He presses a soft kiss to the shorter man's lips before humming softly.

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this chapter is everywhere and I'm so sorry


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner tries to figure out why he's been feeling so weird lately

They eat dinner and Reiner eats his own weight in snickerdoodles before they sit down to watch a movie with Bert's parents. Reiner had fallen asleep (or gone into a sugar coma) somewhere in the middle of the movie. Bertholdt nudges him gently once it ends and he awakens with a soft grumble. “Come on…lets go to my room.” Reiner nods and yawns as he stretches sleepily. Bert's parents also appear to be asleep at the other end of the couch so the guys make their way back to the bedroom quietly.

Bertholdt flips on the light and closes the door behind Reiner. “Do you need something to sleep in?”

“Nah, I don’t want to stretch out any of your shirts.” He turns to Bertholdt with a grin. “I’ll be fine in my underwear.” Bert nods as he crosses the room to sit on the edge of his bed.

“Are you sure? It’s kind of cold in here…” Reiner chuckles softly as he starts to pull his shirt off.

“How many times do I need to tell you that you're warm enough for the both of us?” He's got it over his head, arms still hooked in the sleeves when the bedroom door opens.

“ _Mom_. Knock, please.” Mrs. Hoover smiles sweetly, eyes darting from Reiner to her son.

“Sorry honey, didn’t mean to intrude…just wanted to wish you two good night.” Bertholdt returns her smile with a soft hum.

“Night, mom.” Reiner turns to look at her with a faint smile.

“Night Mrs. H.”

“Night boys...no shenanigans tonight…” She points her finger between the two of them for a moment before directing said finger towards the vent above Bertholdt's dresser. “And remember, Bert. Vents.” Reiner turns to look at Bertholdt with a raised eyebrow after his mother leaves and closes the door behind her.

“Vents?” Reiner finally drops his shirt to the floor and Bertholdt shifts awkwardly under his gaze.

“Well, umm…you see…” Reiner continues to strip and Bert finds himself a bit distracted, and not just by the question he's supposed to be answering. “Soooo…you know I used to date Marco…and well, at that point in time, I still hadn’t come out to mom…she ended up finding out when he stayed one night and she heard some _things_ through the vent. Their room is just above mine and I guess the vents are uhh…quite acoustic.” He stands and starts to change into some pajamas. Reiner still hasn’t spoken but Bert can feel the blonde’s eyes on him. “She didn’t interrupt or anything but we sat down and had a long talk after he left.” Reiner nods slowly before seating himself in the center of the bed.

“Wait…that’s a thing? That you can hear through vents?” Bertholdt shrugs as he pulls a clean shirt over his head.

“I think it depends on the way the house is set up but, yeah.” He crosses the room to turn on the bedside lamp before turning off the overhead light. Reiner goes a little pale when Bertholdt sits beside him.

“You don’t think…Ma…?” He shifts nervously before pulling the comforter up and wrapping himself in it. “She has really good timing…” Bertholdt's eyes widen slightly.

“I don’t think she could’ve heard anything…I mean, wouldn’t she have said something to you already? Even if she just had the slightest suspicion?” Reiner nods slowly.

“Y-yeah…I suppose so. I just can’t help being nervous, y'know?” Bert nods in agreement before tucking himself in beside Reiner. He turns off the light and snuggles close with a soft hum.

“Are we still going to talk or do you just want to go to sleep?” Reiner rolls onto his back with a soft sigh.

“Umm yeah…I’m pretty awake…we can talk. Anything you want to know in particular?” Bertholdt shrugs before rolling onto his side to face Reiner.

“Not really…I just want to listen to you. Got anything you need to get off of your chest?”

“Not that I can think of.” Reiner sighs as he stretches out. Bertholdt is silent as he thinks.

“Do you…do you want to tell me more about how it happened? How you umm…how you realized that you were gay?” Bert figures it’s still probably a touchy subject for Reiner so he does his best to ease him into it. “I know you don’t really like talking about it so we can talk about something else…just thought it might be a good place to start the venting process.” He turns to face Reiner to discover that the other man has become a bit distracted.

“You.” Bertholdt gives Reiner a slightly confused look before shifting closer. “I thought about you.” Bert frowns slightly before hesitantly reaching for one of Reiner's hands and gently stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“U-umm…why?” Reiner sighs softly as he runs a hand through his own hair.

“Ymir kept insisting that I was gay but I was pretty sure I just couldn’t get hard because I was nervous or maybe a little too drunk…then she pointed out a few things and it really made me think about it. I still continued to deny it and she persisted until eventually just letting me believe what I wanted.” Bertholdt hums softly and squeezes Reiner's hand as he listens to him. “She let me sleep there that night and let me tell you, I hardly slept at all. Everything she had said to me had made its way under my skin and it had me looking for explanations, y’know?” Reiner takes a shaky breath and Bertholdt nods at him reassuringly.

“I couldn’t think of anything that even would’ve made her suspect that I was the least bit gay. But then I remembered another thing that she said…she was trying to gauge my reactions to certain questions and asked me who the cutest guy I knew was. Even though by that point I had been pretty irritated, you still flashed into my mind for a split second. So I laid there and eventually my mind settled back to you and I started to think about our childhood and stuff and a few things stood out or…a lot of things, actually. Nothing had been apparent to me at the time of each occurrence but looking back on everything collectively made me realize 'Hey, you were definitely gay for Bertl.’.” Reiner rolls onto his back and sighs heavily. Bert gives him some time to calm down. The blonde had been speaking pretty quickly, nervously, but Bertholdt is sure he hadn’t noticed. He remains silent as he waits for his boyfriend to continue.

“And then I tried to figure out why I would even be attracted to Ymir if I wasn’t into women.” He snorts softly. “Definitely wasn’t her personality, I can tell you that much...so I just kind of laid there and looked at her for a bit. Tan with dark hair and dark eyes. Her features aren’t really feminine and she certainly isn’t unattractive but at that moment I couldn’t help but think that if she had green eyes, she'd be utterly perfect. And then it clicked.” Bert smiles as he traces a finger along the back of Reiner’s hand.

“You have a type.” The blonde scoffs as he looks to Bertholdt with a grin.

“As if you don’t.” Bert blushes softly as he tugs his hand away.

“I don’t…” Reiner raises an eyebrow with a grin.

“You mean blonde and muscular isn’t a type?” The corner of Bertholdt's lip curls up in a slight smirk.

“Marco isn’t blonde.”

“Alright, he’s an exception.” Bert hums softly as he rests a hand on Reiner's bicep.

“And Annie isn’t necessarily muscular. Well, she is…just not in the way that you are.” Reiner hums as he thinks it over for a bit.

“Suppose you’re right…she’s really kind of _small_ though. Compared to us, that is.” Reiner chuckles softly. “Or is that why you were interested? You get off on putting that enormous cock of yours in places it doesn’t fit?” Bertholdt blushes furiously as he buries his face in the pillow. The brunet’s reaction tells Reiner everything he needs to know.

“ _Reiner_...N-no I don’t. That’s not it...A-aren’t we supposed to be talking about you?” Bert changes the subject quickly in order to save himself from the embarrassment that is sure to come. Reiner grins wide as he scoots closer, resting a heavy hand on Bert's hip. He would never openly admit it but the other man's reaction to embarrassment has become kind of a turn on for him.

“But we did talk about me…” Bertholdt shifts a bit nervously before sliding Reiner's hand away from his hip.

“Wh-what happened last night?” Reiner gives him a toothy grin.

“You mean when I fucked the living daylights out of you?” Bert huffs softly in frustration before rolling onto his back.

“ _No_. I mean after that…when I told you that I love you…and you cried.” Reiner picks through his mind in search of what Bertholdt is talking about. He remembers talking to him and then crying but he can’t quite piece together what had happened between those two points. “What happened, Reiner?”

“I-I don't…” Reiner presses two fingers to one of his temples as a familiar pressure begins to build in his head. An image of two swords, one crossed over the other, flashes behind his eyes and he furrows his brow in confusion. “I must’ve passed out or something…I’m not sure.”

“What happened?” Bertholdt shifts closer and the pressure behind Reiner's eyes increases. The symbol appears again and suddenly they aren’t in Bert's bed anymore; they're in the field.

“I…I can't remember. Wh-what's happening?” Reiner panics slightly as he sits up and looks around. He's pulled from the memory when Bertholdt speaks again.

“Reiner? What is it?” Reiner takes a shaky breath before rubbing his eyes.

“I-I think I’ve been hallucinating or something…vivid daydreams maybe? Must have something to do with these damn migraines.” Bertholdt has a feeling that he's pushing it too far and decides to pull back. Reiner isn't ready yet.

“Aww…I’ll go get you some medicine.” Bert slides his legs from beneath the covers and stands with a stretch. “If it’s gotten that bad then I think you might want to go to the doctor…yeah?” Reiner nods faintly as his eyes slip shut.

“Yeah.” He continues to press his fingertips to his head as if he can squeeze the migraine out. Bert figures Reiner must be ready for bed but when he returns from the kitchen, the blonde is sitting upright with the lamp on. When Bertholdt gets closer he can see that Reiner is sketching something on a notepad he had taken from the desk. The bed dips slightly as Bertholdt sits on the edge before handing Reiner a few pills with a glass of water.

“Whatcha up to?” Bert peeks over his boyfriend's shoulder as he pops the pills into his mouth and washes them down with the entire glass of water. Reiner takes a deep breath as he pulls the glass away from his lips and sets it down on the nightstand.

“Just…drawing.” He shifts the page to show Bert before explaining. “This is what I saw in that hallucination...” He points to a stick figure on one side of the paper. “This is you…and this is me.” He shifts his finger to rest on top of the second stick figure that’s just beside the other. “We were in a field and it was really nice out.” Bertholdt smiles. He knows what Reiner has been seeing – it’s one of the times he had been trying to bring the warrior back – but he's curious about how much Reiner really remembers.

Bert taps a slender finger against the page, pointing to a square resting under the head of one of the stick figures. “Did we bring pillows to the field?” Reiner hums softly.

“No…I think they’re jackets. They have a symbol on them. Umm…here…” Reiner sketches the symbol in the top corner of the page. It’s crude but Bertholdt can still tell what it is. He lightly traces his fingers over the sketch of the emblem for the training regiment. “Have you seen it before?” Bertholdt hums softly before resting his other hand on Reiner's shoulder.

“No…I can’t say I have.” A slight frown tugs at Reiner's bottom lip and Bert squeezes his shoulder softly. “Come on, let’s go to bed…you're probably just really tired.” Reiner nods slowly as he closes the notebook and sets it on the nightstand before turning off the lamp. He slides beneath the covers behind Bert and slips an arm around him to hold him close before nuzzling his face between the brunet’s shoulders.

Bertholdt can’t suppress the wave of guilt that washes over him. He feels terrible not only for keeping the truth from Reiner but also for pushing him so hard. Bert grabs his phone from the nightstand and sends Annie a quick text asking if she has plans for tomorrow before locking it and returning it to its usual place. He turns to face Reiner, a faint smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Are you going to be okay?” Bert presses a soft kiss to the center of Reiner's forehead as the blonde nods.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I get them all the time.” He smiles softly before curling further into Bert's warmth. “Its just a little migraine.” Bertholdt nods and begins to pet Reiner's hair softly, guilt completely overtaking him as the other man falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

 They leave early the next day after Mrs. Hoover had fixed them breakfast and taken her time wishing them well. Reiner decides to drop Bert off at the dorm so he can grab a few things from his house before going to the clinic to get checked out for his migraines. Bertholdt presses a soft kiss to Reiner's lips through the truck window before pulling back with a smile. “See you in a few hours?” Reiner returns the smile as he nods and Bert waves him off as he heads down the road.

Bertholdt pulls his phone from his pocket and texts Annie as he walks to the main doors. “Home. Am I going to yours or are you coming to mine?” She replies quicker than usual.

“Banannie: Yours. My place is a mess.” Bertholdt gets on the elevator and hangs around in the fifth-floor lobby as he replies.

“Come whenever you’re ready, I’m not busy.” Bert reaches into his pocket for the drawing that he had – unbeknownst to Reiner – swiped from the nightstand at home. His eyes scan over it as he walks down the hall until his phone buzzes in his hand.

“Banannie: k. Already on campus. Be there in five.” It’s odd that she’s already so close but Bertholdt decides he'll wait to question it when she gets here. He returns his eyes to the paper as he continues to walk towards the room. The brunet quickly becomes distracted and ends up bumping into Marco, who had been making his way to the elevator lobby as well as attempting to avoid the taller man. The paper slips out of Bertholdt's hand and he freezes as a stuttered apology falls from his lips. Marco smiles awkwardly as he holds his hands up.

“S-sorry…didn’t mean to run into you.” Bert smiles back as he nervously wipes his hands on his pants.

“No, really. It was my fault. I should’ve been paying attention to where I was going…” He laughs nervously before bending to pick up the paper but Marco reaches it first, pausing once he gets a glimpse of what the sheet contains. He continues to stare at it and straightens fully, tracing his fingertips over the symbol in the upper corner before slowly looking up to meet Bertholdt's nervous gaze.

“You know.” Bert's eyes widen slightly and he begins to sweat as he realizes the mess he may have just gotten himself into.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars and nervous boys

Bertholdt wrings his hands before reaching out for the paper. “Y- _you_ know?” Marco simply nods in response as he hands the sheet of paper back. Bertholdt folds it up and returns it to his pocket. His phone is buzzing which means Annie is probably here and he knows he needs to go down and get her but he can’t stop himself from speaking once he's started. “U-umm…are you busy right now? We could talk about it…”

“Uhh, yeah…I mean…no, I’m not busy but yeah I can talk.” Marco shifts nervously. “I was just running down to get a snack from the vending machine so I've got some time. Umm…I-is Reiner…?” He carefully looks around for the blonde. Bertholdt shakes his head in response.

“No, he’s gone right now but…Annie is about to come up, is that okay?” Marco nods slowly before giving Bert a confused look.

“Wait…Annie? Does she know too?” Bertholdt hums softly as he starts to walk back towards the elevator.

“Yeah…haven’t the others talked to you yet?” A slight frown tugs at Marco's lips.

“Others…? There are others?” Bertholdt is silent for a moment as the elevator doors open to reveal Annie patiently waiting on a bench in the main lobby.

 _“_ O-oh umm. Yeah…We’ll talk in a bit. It sounds like there’s a lot we need to go over...Just knock on my door when you’re ready.” Marco smiles faintly and lowers his voice as he exits the elevator.

“Alright. See you soon.” Bertholdt holds the door and Annie takes Marco’s place with a slightly confused look.

“What’s he doing here? Bert…you aren’t…?” It takes Bertholdt a moment to realize what she’s implying and when he does he turns to her with a frown. He tries not to sound spiteful when he speaks but he doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his true reaction.

“Annie, no. Do you really think that…that I would _cheat_?” Annie sighs softly as they exit the elevator on the fifth floor and shrugs as she speaks, seemingly unaffected by his change in tone.

“No. It’s just weird that he’s here. With you. Alone. That’s all.” Bert leads her to his room and unlocks the door before tossing his keys onto his desk.

“Is it weird that _you’re_ here alone with me?”

“No. Why would it be?” Annie shrugs once more.

“Exactly, it isn’t a big deal so don't worry about it. He just moved in next door…and he's about to come hang out with us for a little bit. He remembers, Annie. But...but it was weird…he didn't seem scared of me or anything…or you, even.  And he seemed really confused to find out that there are other people who remember.” Annie raises an eyebrow as she walks to the edge of the bed with her arms crossed. “Want something to snack on?”

“Just the usual, please.” It’s silent for a moment, save for the sound of the mattress squeaking when she sits.

“What were you already doing on campus?” Bertholdt grabs a pack of Oreos and a can of Mountain Dew and hands them to her as he sits beside her. Annie hums softly as she opens her drink.

“I was at Armin's.” A smile pulls at the corner of Bert's lips as he raises an eyebrow at her.

“Really now? Was this a _personal_ visit?” She snorts as she looks at him with a roll of her eyes.

“That isn’t what’s going on here.” Bertholdt smiles wider as he holds his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright. But really, what was it?” Annie hesitates for a moment as her entire demeanor changes. Bert can tell that something isn’t quite right but he can't quite figure out what exactly that something is. She sets her drink down and sighs heavily before turning to look at the man beside her. She’s about to answer when a timid knock at the door distracts them both. Bertholdt stands to answer, making sure to give Marco the warmest smile he can muster.

The other man still looks extremely nervous and understandably so. He shifts nervously in the doorway when Bert holds the door open wider to invite him in. Marco smiles faintly at Annie and wrings his hands as he looks around the room. He stands awkwardly as he watches Bertholdt sit on the bed beside Annie before finally deciding to pull a desk chair out to sit across from them. Annie is silent as she opens her pack of cookies but her icy eyes stay fixated on Marco as he moves across the room.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and Bertholdt looks between his two guests before elbowing Annie softly, drawing her attention away from the freckled man in front of them. Bert scoots further back on the bed and messes with the corner of the blanket as he attempts to start a conversation. “So... uhh… _yeah_. How’ve you been?” Marco clasps his hands together as he tries to relax.

“Umm…pretty good.” Bertholdt nods slowly and looks to Annie, who still has not said anything, before returning his attention to Marco.

“I guess…I guess the first thing we should do is apologize…” Marco laughs a bit nervously and squeezes his hands together.

“It’s alright…I mean… _not really…_ but I’ve come to terms with it. Just glad to be all in one piece again.” He chuckles softly before bringing a hand up to brush his fingers across the eyepatch covering his right eye. “Well, mostly.” Bertholdt smiles softly.

“What happened to your glass eye?” The change in subject allows Marco to relax slightly, becoming less nervous as he feels less pressed for information. Marco shrugs as a grin spreads across his face.

“The eyepatch looks cooler.” Bertholdt nods in agreement and Annie snorts softly before speaking for the first time since Marco had joined them.

“Hell yeah, it does. You look like a badass. You good at intimidating people with that thing?” Marco visibly relaxes before crossing his legs casually.

“Not really. I think the smile and the freckles kind of counteract it.” Bertholdt smiles again and allows the blanket to fall from his hands as he becomes more comfortable. It feels nice to catch up with Marco after being apart for so long, even if they had dated and had kind of a rocky breakup. There’s still a bit of nervousness lingering in Bert’s gut but he’s unable to shake it. Marco is acting _too_ calm and casual for someone who is actively interacting with their former murderers. Bertholdt clears his throat awkwardly, a bit reluctant to ruin the newly lightened mood.

“How long have you known? I-I mean…you’re acting so calm and you don’t even…you don’t even seem angry. I don’t really understand.”

“Umm...it’s been a while now actually. Things started getting kind of weird when my glaucoma got really bad and then everything finally came undone after the removal surgery. I thought that maybe it was some kind of hallucination caused by the anesthetic…but it seemed so real. Then when I moved to Sina a few months later I recognized all of these people that I’d never met before from that ‘hallucination’ and I knew then…it had to have happened.” Bertholdt furrows his brow in slight confusion.

“After your surgery? That would’ve had to have been at least three years ago…” Marco nods slowly.

“Yeah, sounds about right.”

“But…but you didn’t seem uncomfortable with me at all. Well, save for what comes with the whole trying to be 'just friends' thing.” Marco shrugs in response.

“Everyone has those weird dreams and stuff that their friends are in. Like I said, I didn’t completely realize until I moved.” Marco pauses for a second before beginning to twiddle his thumbs. “You said there were others?”  Bert nods as he scoots over a bit, opening an invitation for Marco to sit between him and Annie.  He makes no move to join them

“Yeah, as far as I know there's Armin, Connie, Ymir, Krista, Hanji, me, Annie, and now you.” Annie clears her throat softly.

“About that…As you already know, I was already on campus because I was at Armin's place…and I was at Armin’s place because he's been kind of freaking out lately. Eren knows…and unfortunately, he isn’t as calm and collected as our freckled friend over here is.” Bertholdt feels the color run from his face. _Bad. This is very bad._   Marco hums softly as he begins to slide out of his chair.

“Maybe…maybe I could talk to him? You know how good I can be at calming people down.” He chuckles a bit awkwardly as he finally crawls up onto the bed to sit between Bert and Annie. The small blonde nods slowly.

“Could work. He and Jean don’t really function any differently so I don’t see why not.” Marco stifles a laugh and nods in response, getting comfortable as he situates himself.

“And Reiner doesn't know?” Bertholdt worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he digs the folded paper out of his back pocket.

“Well…not really but…sorta. He drew this last night.” He hands the paper to Annie and she unfolds it, holding back a soft laugh once she looks over the image.

“It’s a good thing he never wanted to be an artist, I can tell you that much.” She stares at it for a bit longer. “Any reason why he drew it?”

“U-umm…well…not last night but the night before…” Bert blushes softly as he feels Marco's gaze shift to him then away quickly. “I think I said something that might have triggered a memory. He zoned out for a few minutes and then when he became responsive again he was kind of confused…he started crying but he hadn’t even realized it and when I pointed it out, he touched his face like he almost couldn’t believe it. Then when I asked him what was wrong, he didn’t even know.” Annie hums softly.

“Weird…” Bert nods in agreement before picking up the edge of the blanket to nervously rub the fabric between his fingers.

“B-but last night…I may have brought it up again and…and I pushed the subject a little bit.” He can feel Annie's eyes on him. He had broken one of the rules and he knows that he deserves whatever scolding is coming to him. “And then he mentioned having another migraine so I went to get some medicine and when I came back he was drawing that.” Bert points to the page in Annie's hands. “He said that’s what he saw…and I recognized it. I wanted to know how much he had really remembered so I asked him if the squares under the stick figures' heads were pillows.” Bertholdt pauses to take a breath and Marco looks between the two of them as Annie nods slowly. “And he told me that they were jackets and that they had a symbol on them…and he drew it for me.” Annie hums softly as her eyes scan the paper once more.

“Yeah, it sounds like he’s getting pretty close. But, Bert…you know you shouldn’t press him.”

“I-I know.” Bertholdt looks away sheepishly.

“The migraines he's been having…no one else has had them. I mean, Ymir had small headaches but they weren’t as strong as Reiner's and weren’t nearly as frequent. We don’t know why it’s happening and it could be dangerous so you really should be more careful with him. Especially since his memories are coming back separately. I know you don’t like to hear it Bert, but he’s _damaged_. He always has been and you just need to take it slow…okay?” Bertholdt winces at the use of the word before replying with a nod. It’s silent for a moment before Marco decides to speak up.

“What's wrong with him?” Annie takes a sip of her drink before leaning back against the headboard with a soft snort.

“A lot of things. He was already pretty messed up back then, with different personalities and all. And then after the whole incident with you, he just sort of…broke. Of course, that isn’t why he’s like that now. His mother is kind of cultishly religious and growing up gay in that environment has put one hell of a strain on him.” Marco furrows his brow in slight confusion.

“Different personalities?” Bert leans back beside Marco before pulling the covers over his legs.

“It’s kind of a lengthy story so I’ll explain everything later…there’s a lot of catching up to do.” He turns to look at the man beside him and then to Annie. “How long were you two planning on staying? I’m thinking about binging Star Wars or something.” Annie just shrugs, a gesture that indicates she'll leave when she feels like it. Marco hums softly as he decides.

“Umm…Is Reiner going to be back any time soon?”

“I don’t think so. He went to the doctor and I think after he’s done there, he’s going home to grab some things so it should be a while. Why?” Marco shifts his eyes down nervously as he shrugs.

“I don’t know…I just don’t think he really likes me. I’d hate to upset him.” Bert chuckles softly as he stands to put _A New Hope_ into the DVD player and flips the lights off before heading back to the bed.

“He won’t be upset. He thinks that _you_ hate _him_.”  Marco nods slowly and tucks his legs under the covers, holding the blanket up for Bertholdt to do the same when he returns.

“I guess I can stay for a little longer, maybe only for the first one. And…I don’t hate him, we just have never really gotten along. I still care about you, Bert…and I don’t want you to get tangled up in whatever it is he’s doing these days.” Annie rolls her eyes and Bertholdt turns to Marco with a sincere smile.

“He’s really a good guy…and he's learned his lesson, Marco. I promise.” Marco hums softly as he turns back towards the television and tries to ignore the uneasy feeling beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tl;dr- Reiner is insecure

Bertholdt wakes up to the sensation of the back of a hand brushing his hair off of his forehead. He opens his eyes slowly and squints up at Reiner who is smiling down at him. “Hey, rest well?” The brunet hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep. He sits up and looks around, a bit confused. The menu for the last movie has been looping for God knows how long and it seems that Marco had left some time ago. Annie is still sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed. “Care if I join?” Bertholdt nods before stretching with a yawn and sleepily rolling to the center of the bed in order to make a spot for Reiner.

The blonde slides into the warm spot that Bertholdt had just been occupying before snuggling close. Bert groans softly as he feels Reiner's cold toes brush his leg. “Did you just get home?” Reiner tucks his hands under the pillow in an attempt to warm them.

“Yeah.”

“What did the doctor say?” Reiner shrugs casually.

“Said it could be stress, change in sleep patterns, or something hereditary. He told me to come back in two weeks to see if they’re still persistent.” Bert snuggles closer with a soft hum.

“For your sake, I hope they go away.” Reiner nods in agreement before looking up at the television and smiling.

“Watching Star Wars without me, huh? Or rather…sleeping through Star Wars without me is what I _should_ call it.” Bertholdt pushes his bottom lip out into a cute pout.

“We can watch it together later tonight…and I promise I won’t sleep through it this time.” Reiner responds with a satisfied hum before sitting up to look over Bert's shoulder.

“She been out for a while too?” Bertholdt shrugs before rolling to look at Annie.

“I’m not sure. I think I fell asleep first.”

“She actually looks kind of peaceful when she can manage to keep her eyes closed…” Reiner grins wide before clumsily climbing over Bertholdt, earning a groan from both him and Annie when he tries to sandwich himself between them. Bert squirms to the edge of the bed in order to make more room for his boyfriend's large frame. Reiner repeatedly presses his finger against the tip of Annie's nose until she opens an eye to give him an irritated look. “Hey, cutie.” Annie snorts before stretching, making sure to elbow Reiner in the side when she does.

“Morning, ugly.” She smirks when Reiner gasps with feigned offense.

“Alright for _one_ ; It isn’t morning, it’s afternoon. And _two_ ; I take back my 'cutie' comment because you, missy, have got an ugly personality.” Annie sticks her tongue out before rolling to face away from him.

“This is the only sleep I’ve gotten within the past twenty-four hours so it’s technically morning for me…doofus.” Reiner smiles before patting her head softly.

“Ahh, I see. You’re just grumpy. Get some more rest, we'll leave you alone.” Reiner turns to face Bertholdt with a soft smile before curling closer to give Annie her space.

“Much appreciated. And don’t you dare fuck next to me.” Bertholdt chokes slightly before going completely red.

“W-we won’t…or rather, I won’t let him.” Reiner is grinning wide and Bert takes a moment to kick his shin lightly before giving him a look that reads as “Don’t even try a thing”.

“Good. I don’t want to be hearing anything gross…and if I find out either of you had your dicks out while in the room with me, there _will_ be consequences. Understood?” Reiner laughs softly as a slight smirk tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Yes, mother.” He receives an elbow to the back and grumbles a bit before climbing back over Bertholdt who groans in response when he is shoved back to the center of the bed.

“Can you lay still for just two seconds please?” Bert whispers as he looks at Reiner with a slight frown.

“Can you two keep your elbows away from my body parts?” Bertholdt mumbles a soft “yes” and a “no promises” comes from the small woman on the other side of him. Reiner smiles as he laces Bert’s fingers with his own. The taller man shifts closer before allowing his body to finally relax into the mattress. He feels the soft press of Reiner's lips against his forehead as feels the sensation of sleep start to pull him in again.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Bertholdt wakes up is to Annie nudging him lightly. The sun has already set and the room is dark although it can’t be too much past six. Bert squints to let his eyes adjust as he searches for Annie in the dark. She whispers his name and pats his leg lightly, drawing his attention to her silhouette at the end of the bed. “Hey, wake up. You won’t be able to sleep tonight if you keep napping.” Bertholdt arches his back and sighs softly when he feels a satisfying pop.

“Don’t worry. Depending on the mood he's in, I might not be able to sleep much tonight anyway.” Annie wrinkles her nose but her tone is slightly amused.

“Gross.” Bertholdt hears a soft commotion as she begins to pull on her shoes and he sits up to sit beside her.

“Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, Eren just left Armin's so I’m going to head back over. Care to tag along?” Bert grazes his toes across the cool floor as he hums softly.

“I don’t think so…not this time. I want to be here for Reiner. Just in case.” Annie nods slowly before standing to pick up the folded paper from the nightstand.

“Alright. Can I take this with me?” Bertholdt nods in response and she tucks it into her jacket pocket. “Thanks. I figured Armin would take some interest in it.” Annie stands and walks to the door and Bertholdt follows her out to take her to the lobby. Once the door is closed behind them, Annie turns to give him a serious look. “Don’t press him. Do you understand?”

Bertholdt nods and whispers a soft “yeah” as he leads her to the elevator. She stops to give him a quick hug as the elevator doors open “Promise?”

“Promise.” Bert smiles and waves as the elevator doors begin to close but Annie's arm shoots out to interrupt the motion.

“And remember, I’m here if you need anything.” Bertholdt nods slowly.

“Thank you, Annie…it means a lot.” He smiles as he catches a quick glimpse of a wave as the doors close. He heads back to the room, almost wondering if he should check on Marco. Bertholdt shakes the thought as he slowly tiptoes back into the room he shares with Reiner before quietly closing the door. He's blind for a moment as his eyes adjust and ends up tripping over his own feet on his way back to the bed. He climbs beneath the covers slowly, careful not to wake Reiner. Bertholdt curls close and settles back into the mattress with a soft sigh.

“Hey.” Bert jumps with a slightly startled gasp. He had thought Reiner was still asleep but it seems like he may have thought wrong. He takes a deep breath as his heart rate begins to slow back down before turning to face Reiner with a smile.

“Hey, you just wake up?” He watches his boyfriend's silhouette for any form of movement and catches a faint shrug.

“No, not really.” Bertholdt hums softly.

“How long have you been awake?” Reiner shrugs again.

“Since I got back from the doctor's office.” Bert frowns slightly before shifting closer.

“I would’ve stayed up with you if you didn’t feel like napping.”

“It's fine…you looked pretty tired.” Now that his eyes have adjusted, Bert can see a faint smile pulling at the corner of Reiner's lips but something still seems off. Reiner isn’t being as talkative as usual and he’s been rather short.

“I was…” Bertholdt pauses and all he can hear is the sound of their own breathing in addition to a door closing at the opposite end of the hall. “Reiner…is everything alright?”

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” The blonde's cheery tone falters towards the end of the sentence and Bertholdt sighs softly before rolling to lay on his back.

“I know when something's going on with you. What is it?” Reiner is silent for a moment and Bert hears his breath catch when he opens his mouth to speak but fails. Bertholdt stays silent, giving his boyfriend a moment to gather his thoughts.

“Could…could you let me know when you have guests over?” Bert turns to look at the man beside him when he picks up the slight worry in his voice.

“Yeah, of course. I guess it would’ve been common courtesy to do it from the beginning since you live here too.” He chuckles nervously as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his stiff neck. “Sorry about that…” Reiner responds with a nod but is otherwise silent. “If it was bothering you so much then why didn’t you ask me earlier?” The blonde shrugs but is still reluctant to speak.

“It didn’t really bother me before.” Bertholdt turns to his boyfriend with a look of confusion.

“What’s so different now…?” He can feel Reiner grow a bit more nervous before he finally tells him what’s been on his mind.

“I would just feel better if you'd tell me when you’re having people you’ve slept with over.” Bertholdt's heart drops and he opens his mouth to speak but he can’t figure out what to say. He can’t subdue the feeling of hurt beginning to bubble in his chest.

“Reiner, I…I wouldn’t…” Reiner sighs and cards a hand through his hair before sitting up to look at the brunet.

“I know you wouldn’t, Bertl. I trust you. It’s other people I have problems with trusting.” Bertholdt pushes his bottom lip out into a pout.

“You’ve never had any issue with me hanging out with Annie until now…did something happen?” He can tell Reiner is getting frustrated. The blonde has a hard time with expressing his feelings and Bertholdt knows he would rather keep quiet about them than be having this conversation with him. Reiner raises his voice slightly but quickly lowers it, careful to keep his emotions in check.

“No I…I don’t have a problem with Annie. It isn’t her that I’m worried about.” Bertholdt's eyes widen slightly as he finally realizes the cause of Reiner's troubles.

“ _Oh_ …”

“He was still here when I got home…and he seemed pretty quick to leave once he noticed I was here.”

“Reiner…Marco isn’t like that.”

“I know, I just…I know I’m a shitty person and he’s like _not_. He’s absolutely perfect and I-I just…I know it won't happen but I'm scared I'll lose you.” Reiner sighs heavily before flopping back onto the mattress. Bertholdt shifts closer and leans in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. He hopes he’s doing a decent job of comforting him. In the past Bertholdt had always been the one who needed reassurance in their relationship. especially during one of Reiner’s episodes. The blonde is usually extremely confident in everything he does and the fact that he isn’t at the moment has Bertholdt quite worried.

“You don’t need to worry, alright? I'll let you know when we're going to hang out. I’ll even avoid him if you want.” Reiner pouts slightly before lifting his hand to lightly slide his palm against Bert's forearm.

“No. I’m not going to police who you hang out with but I would feel a little more comfortable if I knew when he would be coming over.” Bertholdt nods before shrugging slightly.

“We could all hang out together.” Reiner wrinkles his nose slightly. “He doesn’t hate you, Reiner. He’s just a little intimidated.” The brunet chuckles softly as he leans closer to press his forehead against Reiner's.

“Maybe sometime, yeah…but he'd probably want to include Jean...”

“Yeah, I know. It’ll still be fun.”

“…and he'll probably say some pretty crass things…” Bert chuckles softly.

“Yes, I know. I’ve met Jean before.”

“…about me…and I don’t really want you to be upset by it.” Bertholdt pushes a soft exhale through his nose before giving Reiner a serious look.

“Reiner. He can say anything he wants about you or that thing that you two had and I promise that it will not upset me. You don’t need to protect me from anything that you’ve done or any relationship that you’ve had. It was in the past.” Reiner nods slowly before finally mustering up a faint smile.

“I love you, Bertl…thanks for keeping me on my feet.” Bertholdt smiles softly before weaving his fingers between Reiner's.

“Forever an always, baby…forever and always.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have...the kink talk

After they had finally gotten out of bed, Reiner and Bert had decided to head across town to grab a bite to eat before returning to finish up some homework. Reiner had suggested that they watch a movie once they had each completed their studies. Bertholdt had wanted to start with _A New Hope_ since Reiner had missed it earlier but the latter insisted on Episode V because “Screw four. Sure, it’s good but Empire is the best.” Bert had switched the DVDs without protest before joining his boyfriend on the bed. Reiner has always been a pretty talkative person, even during movies, so Bertholdt had only been half listening to him…until now, that is.

“Have you ever watched one of those weird pornos?” Bertholdt raises an eyebrow before pulling his attention away from the game he had been playing on his phone. He shifts his gaze to Reiner, who is sitting calmly beside him with his hands clasped in his lap.

“Huh?”

“You know what I mean, right?” Bert chuckles nervously.

“I’m not sure that I do…”

“Like those ridiculous ones based on movies and TV shows that always have the punny names. Like Star Whores or Captain Americock.” Bertholdt snorts and turns away from his boyfriend, almost unable to look at him seriously.

“No, uhh…can’t say that I have.” _Although it isn’t any surprise that you have_. It’s silent for a moment before Bert turns back to the blonde beside him. “Why do you ask?” Reiner shrugs before turning his attention back to the movie.

“Just a thought that crossed my mind…am I not allowed to know what kind of porn you’re into?” Reiner gives him a goofy grin and Bert shoves him lightly.

“No, that’s not it…just thought it was a weird question to ask out of the blue... that’s all.” Reiner nods slowly, seemingly in agreement before becoming quiet once more. It’s silent for a few minutes and Bertholdt enjoys the movie until he hears Reiner clear his throat awkwardly. He looks to his side to see that Reiner doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the movie and is instead lost in his thoughts. The blonde shakes his head slightly before looking up, a light pink blush dusting his cheeks once he notices he was being watched. “Everything alright?” Reiner smiles softly and hums in affirmation before leaning back against the headboard. Bert knows there’s something on his mind but he isn’t going to try to work it out of him; he'll come around when I feels like it, which seems to be sooner rather than later.

“Hey, Bertl…?”

“Yeah?” Bertholdt answers quickly but doesn’t turn to look at him this time.

“Have…have you ever done porn?” Bert snorts softly.

“Well, yeah…but you know that so I’m not sure why you got so nervous about asking.” Reiner mumbles something about not being nervous before raising his voice to an audible level.

“I know you do the camming stuff but I meant have you ever like, recorded something…with other people and stuff?” Bert shakes his head in response.

“No, I’ve never really even thought about it honestly.” He hears Reiner sigh softly.

“Have you ever wanted to?” Bertholdt can’t help it when his eyes widen slightly and when he turns to look at Reiner, he finally sees how flustered the other man seems to be.

“Why? Have _you_ ever wanted to?” Reiner nervously pulls his bottom lip between his teeth before shrugging.

“Maybe I’ve thought about it a time or two…or four…or twenty…or, you know what I mean. A lot. I’ve been thinking about it a lot here lately.” Bertholdt scoots closer now, suddenly more interested than he had been before.

“So, are we talking like…professional?” Reiner shakes his head before smiling slightly, happy that Bert would still be so supportive of him even if he wanted to pursue a career in professional porn.

“No, I was just thinking about that thing we talked about a few weeks ago…and I’m not sure if I’d really be comfortable performing in front of people in real time…even if it _is_ only through a computer screen. But I think I’d be fine with posting a pre-recorded video.” Bert nods slowly before reaching for his boyfriend’s hand to squeeze it softly in an attempt to comfort him.

“It's alright to be camera shy…I certainly was at first.” He smiles softly as he strokes his thumb over the back of Reiner's hand. “I’m fine with whatever you’re comfortable with…and even though I’ve never actually uploaded anything, I must admit that it _does_ sound pretty fun…and if you end up not enjoying it as much as you thought you would we don’t even have to post it, we could keep the video just for us…” Reiner gives him a crooked grin as a few less than pure images begin to work their way to the forefront of his mind.

“Maybe we could try it out tonight.” Bertholdt sits back a bit, mouth slightly agape in mild surprise. He gulps before beginning to nervously tug the collar of his shirt away from his neck.

“Wh-what about the movie…?” Reiner shrugs and the look that he gives Bertholdt indicates that his confidence has returned in full force.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you for the past twenty minutes so it’s not like I’ve actually been invested in it.” Bert nods slowly as the blonde gives him a toothy grin. His own courage leaves him and he wonders why their moods seem to swap so often. Bertholdt ultimately concludes that they’ve always been like this; dynamic and constantly compensating for the other's current weaknesses. He hums softly as he tries to shove at least a tiny bit of his nervousness to the back of his mind.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure...I've been thinking it over since the last time we talked about it.”

“Okay…I just…” Bertholdt notices he's been worrying their comforter between his fingers and drops it, intent on breaking the habit. “I just don’t want you to regret it…” Reiner pushes his bottom lip out into a pout as he lightly brushes his fingertips against the back of Bert's hand.

“I won’t regret it, I promise…and like you said, we don’t even have to post it if we don’t want to.” Bertholdt nods slowly but stiffens slightly when he feels a hand on his thigh.

“I think there are a few things we should talk about first. This isn’t something we should just jump into. First we should set some boundaries because those are the most important aspect of a sexual relationship, both onscreen and off, and now I’m kind of kicking myself  for not doing it earlier.” He sees Reiner nod from the corner of his eye before continuing. “Second, we need to have a plan. Nothing too serious though, it could just be a loose outline. Positions and other little details, y'know?” Reiner nods again, indicating that he understands. “And the last thing we're going to need to do is figure out a way to film this…I know it’s going to be extremely amateur but I want it to be like, _high quality_ amateur.” Reiner grins wide.

“Yeah, none of that shaky-phone-held-two-inches-from-our-genitals shit.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he nods in agreement.

“Alright, so…boundaries.” Bert sighs softly. “I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t like so I’m expecting you to do the same for me, alright?” Reiner nods in affirmation.

“Alright. How should we do this? Do we just want to go back and forth with things we like and the other person agrees or disagrees?” Reiner knows how awkward it can be to talk about these things and he tries to comfort Bert a bit by making the first suggestion. Bertholdt nods in agreement before leaning back to grab a notebook and a pen from his nightstand.

“Sounds good…do you want to start or would you like me to?” Reiner smiles sweetly and nods before squeezing Bert's hand, letting him know that he'll initiate. The blonde hums softly as he tries to think of a milder topic to start out with.

“Kissing?” Bertholdt snorts before raising an eyebrow.

“ _Kissing_? You’re the biggest perv I know and that’s all you’ve got?” Reiner shrugs with a sheepish grin.

“I know you like to look available to your audience and that they don’t quite know what the extent of our relationship is so I wasn’t sure if it was too intimate or not.” Bert frowns slightly as a bit of guilt begins to creep its way into his mind.

“No, kissing isn’t too intimate…I like kissing. Kissing is good. But maybe we should try to refrain from professing our love to each other unless it’s quiet.” Reiner nods slowly as he watches Bertholdt scribble “kissing” between the first set of lines on his paper. “It doesn’t bother you…does it? That they don’t know we're together…” Reiner shrugs nonchalantly.

“Not really. I understand why you'd prefer it that way and I must admit…it opens up quite the scenario for us later down the road.” A sly smirk slowly creeps across Reiner's face and Bert would be lying if he said the idea didn’t make him blush. The taller man nods slowly as he taps the pencil against his notebook.

“Alright so…kissing…and obviously anything we've already done is up for grabs. What else?” Reiner holds his hand out for the notebook and pencil and smiles faintly when Bertholdt hands it to him. He silently scribbles a list down the page before handing it back to Bert.

“That’s pretty much everything I’m into. Just cross out what you don’t like and we can go from there.” He flashes the brunet a charming smile and Bertholdt returns one the best he can before dropping his gaze to scan the sheet of paper. He snorts softly when he sees the first item on Reiner's list is “spanking”, amused but not surprised. He gives Reiner a quick look before continuing to read the list.

_Let's see…face-fucking, crossdressing (?), dirty talk, rimming, (very) light bondage, orgasm denial…_ Bertholdt clears his throat a bit awkwardly once he reads the next item. He doesn’t look up from the paper as he crosses it out. “I’m not calling you 'daddy'.” Reiner chuckles softly with a shrug.

“Alright. Didn’t hurt to try.” Bertholdt flashes him a soft smile before resuming to read. _Manhandling, rough sex :^), breath play (?), bareback, creampie._ Reading the last two makes Bert blush slightly and the image that works it’s way into his mind sends a shiver up his spine. He quickly crosses out “breath play” before handing the notebook back to the man in front of him.

“Are you sure about the last two?” Reiner smiles as he looks over the list before setting the notebook aside to give Bertholdt his full attention.

“Yeah, of course I am. We're both clean so it’s more of a mess thing than anything else, right?” Bert nods slowly before shifting to stretch his legs out.

“Can you even do that though? With the piercings, I mean…” Reiner rests a hand on one of Bert's shins before patting it softly as he nods.

“I’ll just have to shower afterwards like usual and disinfect the jewelry. The risks aren’t really any different than unprotected sex with a normal dick.” Bertholdt nods as he lays his hand over Reiner's. It’s silent for a moment until Reiner speaks up again. “Do you want to do it with the piercings in…? You looked kind of intimidated last time.” The blonde chuckles softly and flips his hand over to allow Bert's palm to fall into his own. Bertholdt grins wide before humming softly.

“Yeah, I was a little nervous but…I looked some stuff up and I think it’ll be fine.” Reiner raises an eyebrow in response.

“Stuff?” Bert shrugs slightly before scooting closer.

“Not anything super explicit…just like, questions from Yahoo Answers and stuff.” Reiner chuckles softly and rests his free hand on Bertholdt's head when the other man rests it on his shoulder. “Reiner?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you wanted to do this tonight but do you think we could maybe wait until tomorrow? We'll get more natural light that way. And I’m tired…” Reiner slides his hand through Bert's hair with a slight smile.

“Of course, baby. Anything you want.”

“Could we also maybe…umm…could we find somewhere to do it that isn’t here? Just y'know…out of courtesy for everyone else.” Reiner nods as he reaches back to grab his phone from his nightstand.

“Both of the girls work tomorrow so I’m sure Ymir won’t mind if we ask to borrow the house…is that alright with you?” Bertholdt hums softly in response. He shifts closer when Reiner removes his hands to send one of the girls a quick text.

“Yeah, as long as they’re fine with it. Let Ymir know we'll clean everything so she won’t have to worry about it.” Reiner nods before setting his phone aside.

“Done and done.” Bertholdt leans against him further before finally slipping sideways to lay on the mattress. He hooks his thumbs beneath the waistband of his pants and pushes them down past his thighs, shimmying his hips until they slide down his legs before kicking them to the floor. Reiner smiles at him but there’s a hint of worry left in his expression. “Is everything okay, Bertl?” Bertholdt wiggles to his side of the bed before half cocooning himself in the comforter.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been asleep all day…and you’re still tired.” Bert pushes his bottom lip out into a pout.

“Probably just stress.” He shrugs slightly before turning away from Reiner as the blonde stands to change. He knows the fatigue has probably been caused by his recent increase in anxiety but he refrains from mentioning it. He doesn’t want Reiner worrying about him, not with how he’s been doing lately. The light goes out and shortly after, Bert feels his boyfriend slide beneath the covers beside him. A strong arm loops around his torso and tugs him close.

Bertholdt hums softly when he feels Reiner’s lips press against the nape of his neck before pressing closer until his back is flush with the blonde's chest. He hears Reiner whisper a soft “I love you” and he is almost asleep when he thinks he hears a very faint, almost inaudible “I was wrong…you aren’t unreliable.”. It sounds distant and Bertholdt knows that he is dreaming. He wills himself not to roll over and check on the man beside him…just in case he isn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to release this chapter and the next chapter as a whole but it seemed entirely too long so I decided to split it. (But now you at least have something to look forward to for next week (: )


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner and Bertholdt make a porno ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bertholdt wakes up completely refreshed, despite the ache that has formed in his shoulder from sleeping on it funny. He squints as bright sunlight filters through the blinds and stretches before rolling to face Reiner who is surprisingly still asleep. He reaches for his phone to check the time. _Almost eleven thirty…guess he really decided to sleep in today._ Bert places a hand on the blonde's side and rustles him gently, pouting slightly when that doesn’t wake him. It’s odd for the blonde to sleep so late since he’s been known to be an early riser. Bertholdt presses the back of his hand to Reiner's forehead. His body temperature feels fairly normal and the brunet frowns slightly before dropping his hand. He only usually sleeps in when he’s sick but if that’s not the case…what could it be?

Bert sighs before attempting to wake him again. He didn’t want to have to jostle Reiner too much, worried that it might put him in an unpleasant mood, but it looks like that’s what it’s going to take. He taps his boyfriend's shoulder lightly in one last attempt to wake him politely, sighing when the attempt fails. He lays his hand flat against the man's shoulder before shaking him lightly. “Reiner, hey…wake up.” The blonde's eyes flutter beneath his eyelids and he grumbles softly before throwing an arm over his face.

“Don’t wanna.” Bert shakes him a few more times before finally relenting.

“Come on, baby…it's already eleven thirty.” Reiner groans before shifting his arm away to uncover an open eye.

“Really? That late already?” He lifts his arms above his head and stretches with a yawn and a soft groan, voice rough with sleep. Bertholdt smiles sweetly with a nod.

“Yeah, you decide to sleep in today?” Reiner chuckles softly as he rolls fully onto his side.

“Guess so…it _is_ the last day of break, after all.” He rolls closer and wraps an arm around Bertholdt, who scrunches his nose when he feels the other man's morning wood press against his thigh.

“Save it for later, buddy.” Reiner holds his hands up in defense as a wide grin spreads across his face.

“Hey, it isn’t my fault! It’s got a mind of its own, I swear. Just ignore it and it’ll go away.” Reiner shifts away slightly before tucking himself into the waistband of his boxers. Bertholdt smiles and presses a soft kiss to the tip of Reiner's nose.

“What time did you want to leave?” The blonde beside him hums as he sits upright.

“Ymir doesn’t get off until ten but Krista will be home around five so we should probably get moving if we want time to clean to the extent of Ymir's liking.” Bertholdt pulls the blankets off of his legs before swinging them out and sitting upright to place his feet on the floor. He runs a hand through his now noticeably greasy hair with a grimace before pulling his shirt over his head.

“I'm going to take a quick shower before we leave.” Reiner nods slowly, eyes fixated on the taller man's body as he shimmies out of the remainder of his clothing.

“Alright…I’ll be ready to go by the time you get back.” Bertholdt looks at him from over his shoulder and smiles as he finishes wrapping a towel around his waist. He grabs his toiletries and heads out the door, somewhat eager to get the events of the day started.

 

* * *

 

 

When Bertholdt returns from the bathroom, Reiner is not ready as he had promised. In fact, he isn’t even out of bed. Bert frowns as he approaches the sleeping man before shaking him awake for the second time this morning. “Reiner…I thought you said you’d be ready.” The blonde grumbles before rolling away from his boyfriend.

“Won’t take me long, promise.” Bertholdt frowns again before dropping his towel to the floor and bending to search through the dresser for a clean pair of underwear. He emerges with one of his favorite pairs of boxer briefs, speaking as he steps into them.

“What time did you get to sleep last night?” Reiner waves his hand in an unconcerned manner.

“Later than I would’ve liked…” Bertholdt pouts before turning to admire himself in the mirror. The waistband fits snugly around his hips and the horizontal stripes patterning the fabric make his ass look more defined than usual. He turns to look at himself from a different angle and for the first time in a long time, he feels good about the way his body looks.

“Any reason why?” When he turns back to face Reiner he finds that the other man has rolled to face him again, hazel eyes trailing his movements. The blonde shifts his gaze away from the taller man and shrugs before beginning to sit up.

“Not really…just couldn’t sleep.” Bert nods slowly before pulling a clean shirt over his head. He finishes dressing and slips on his shoes before fixing his hair.

“Will you still be good for today or should we do it another time?” Reiner snorts softly and stretches one last time before standing up. He makes eye contact with his boyfriend's reflection as a grin begins to spread across his face.

“Nah, I’m still good. I’ll never be too tired for sex.” Bertholdt smiles faintly. He's always been somewhat appreciative of Reiner's active libido in addition to his surplus of stamina. He fondly recalls the time they had camped out on top of the wall, fully convinced that it would be one of the last moments they would ever share. They kept each other company for a great portion of the night and if Zeke had known, he had ignored it. Bertholdt, who would usually be mortified, is now grateful for the older man's silence because that night in the tent really  _did_ end up being one of the last moments he had gotten to spend with Reiner.

Bertholdt pulls himself from the past to give Reiner a weak smile. He fears for when the blonde reawakens his memories. He doesn’t want him to have to experience the pain of reliving the horror that must’ve been the rest of his life. He's not sure if Reiner had survived the battle at Shiganshina but if he had managed to live long enough to get home Bert would be surprised if the Marleyan government hadn’t stripped him of his powers after returning with two fewer shifters and no coordinate. Reiner has been through too much and he doesn’t deserve to go through it again.

Bert watches his boyfriend pull on his shoes and approaches him slowly once he's finished. He wraps his arms around Reiner's shoulders and positions a hand to rest against the back of his head, pressing the blonde's face to his chest in a warm embrace. He softly kisses the top of his head before pulling back just slightly and using the back of a hand to brush Reiner's bangs back. “I love you.” Reiner slides his arms around the brunet’s waist before looking up at him with bright eyes and a smile to match.

Reiner doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t need to. He stands before pressing a soft kiss to Bert's cheek and shrugs on his coat before grabbing his keys and wallet from atop the nightstand. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Bertholdt begins to pull on his own coat before pausing.

“Should we bring anything…uhh…extra?” Reiner's eyes dart to Bert's closet before quickly shifting back to the brunet.

“Nah…not this time.” Bertholdt smiles softly and fully situates his coat over his shoulders before grabbing his laptop and charger and following Reiner out of the room. The blonde waits to speak again until they’ve entered the privacy of the truck's cab.

“So…are we just gonna go for it or do we have a plan?” Bertholdt hums softly as the engine rumbles to life after a few squeals. It’s been harder for the truck to start since it’s started getting colder out.

“Umm…yeah, I think we could have a loose plan…is there anything in specific that you’re interested in?” Reiner shrugs as he straightens the steering wheel after backing out.

“Nothing in particular, really. What’s your audience usually interested in?” Bertholdt chuckles softly before leaning his head back against the headrest.

“Seeing me naked.” Reiner raises an eyebrow but doesn’t take his eyes off of the road.

“That’s all there is to it, huh?”  Bert chews his bottom lip for a moment before tucking his hands beneath his thighs and turning to look at the blonde.

“Well, other than the usual deal with the panties and sex toys and stuff…they really seemed to enjoy it when you walked in on me that one time…even though I _did_ end up cutting the show short after that. So…maybe we could do something like that? Y’know like an ‘oh no haha not again' and then you offer help type of deal…or something?” Bert rubs the back of his neck nervously as he awaits a response. Reiner nods slowly as he plays the scenario over in his head.

“Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good plan. Were you just wanting to stay in the bedroom?”

“Yeah…I kind of assumed that’s where we'd be doing it. Did you have a different location in mind?” Reiner smirks slightly and turns his head to give Bert a mischievous look as the truck rolls to a stop at the stop light.

“Couch?” Bertholdt opens his mouth to protest straight away but pauses when he realizes that he’s never had sex on a couch…and it _does_ sound pretty nice. He recalls the layout of Ymir's living room before shaking his head.

“The window is right behind it…too many details that give away our location…and even if we closed the curtains, I’m not sure if I’d really be comfortable with umm… _soiling_ the room that everyone tends to reside in when they visit.” Reiner's smirk turns into a soft smile as he nods in agreement.

“Alright, guest bed it is.” The blonde hums softly before restlessly tapping his hands on the steering wheel. “You have any idea how we're going to film this?” Bert runs his fingertips along the edge of his laptop before laying it flat in his lap.

“Yeah…I was thinking we could set the laptop up on the dresser and get a pretty nice full-view side-shot of the bed. For closer shots, I was thinking maybe we could move a stool or a small table to the end of the bed and prop one of our phones up to record more detailed clips.” The sound of the turn signal clicking echoes throughout the almost silent cab as Reiner turns into Ymir's neighborhood. He lightly hits the brakes to accommodate for the drop in the speed limit before giving Bert his opinion.

“I like the laptop idea but phone resolution is kind of eh…”

“Well…did you have anything else in mind?” Reiner pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbles nervously as he pulls into the driveway and parks before turning to face Bertholdt.

“Umm…the girls have a pretty nice camcorder…with a tripod…that they also may or may not use to make home movies of their own.” Bertholdt nods slowly. He isn’t too keen on the idea of using someone else’s equipment to film their sex tape but he has to admit that it’ll provide better video quality than a phone propped haphazardly on top of a wobbly table or stool.

“Yeah, umm…that sounds like a better option. I mean, as long as they’re alright with us using it.” Reiner shrugs as he shuts the truck off before unbuckling his seatbelt and starting to get out.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t. As long as we don’t look at any of their stuff and delete ours before we return it, I think we should be fine.” Reiner locks the truck after Bert shuts his door before leading him up the driveway to the front porch. He sorts through his keyring until he finds the house key that Ymir had given him. Bert grins in slight amusement when it catches his eye; pink with rhinestones outlining the perimeter of the top and “princess” engraved in the center. The blonde unlocks the door and pushes it open with a shoulder before stepping inside.

Reiner tosses his keyring onto the short table beside the door before removing his coat and hanging it on one of the free hooks on the wall. He slips out of his shoes and uses a foot to push them onto the mat beneath the coat hooks before turning to Bertholdt as he does the same. Reiner is silent when they walk towards the hallway, separating from Bert when he branches off to search the girls' room for their camcorder. Bertholdt continues down the hall and pushes the door of the guest room open before crossing the room to set his laptop down on top of the dresser.

The brunet opens the lid of his computer before launching the camera app, smiling slightly when he hears Reiner curse from the other room as his rummaging intensifies. “You alright?” Bert changes the settings and starts testing for the best quality as he listens for his boyfriend's response. The sound of various items being shoved around pauses for a moment.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Don’t worry about me.” Bertholdt smiles wider and stands up straight before pushing the screen of his laptop back until it is at a ninety-degree angle with the dresser. He steps back and watches his movements on screen before stepping forward to shift the computer a bit to the right. Reiner comes in as he’s adjusting the quality settings again, camcorder in hand and tripod tucked under his arm. The blonde hums softly as he starts to set up the other camera at the end of the bed. Bertholdt is playing with the lighting when Reiner breaks the silence. “Are you sure you still want me to keep my piercings in?”

Bert tucks the curtains to each side of the window frame and half opens the blinds before turning to look at Reiner with a sweet smile. “Yeah, I’m sure. I read some stuff about how to ease into it so I’ll be fine.” The blonde nods as he fiddles with the settings on the camcorder. Bertholdt walks to the edge of the bed and turns on one of the lamps, checking the display on the screen one last time with a satisfied hum. “What about the list? Anything you were interested in doing today?” He approaches the blonde before gently sliding the camcorder from his hands to fix the settings Reiner had changed and adjust the ones he hadn’t. Reiner leans against the edge of the bed with a soft hum.

“Spanking…maybe? If it’s alright with you.” Bertholdt smiles as he finishes up and securely mounts the camcorder to the tripod before setting the zoom to focus in on one half of the bed.

“Yeah, I’m fine with that. Maybe we shouldn’t dedicate a whole lot of time to _just_ spanking but I like the idea of incorporating it as a 'when the mood strikes' kind of thing. Was that all or is there anything else?” Bertholdt comes closer to sit on the bed beside Reiner. The blonde shrugs slightly as he glances at the man next to him.

“Umm…the last two…I really want to do the last two.” Bert pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and shifts nervously before meeting his boyfriend’s gaze.

“Alright, yeah. I’m fine with it if you are.” Bertholdt nods as a slight smile begins to play on his lips and Reiner gives him a goofy grin. The blonde stands fully before rubbing his hands together casually.

“Are we all set up and ready to go?” Bert stands up and flattens his hands over the comforter to straighten out the wrinkles they had left.

“Yep, all set.”

“So I just…” Reiner points his thumb down the hall as he takes a step towards the door.

“Mhm. Give me about five minutes after you’ve left to come back. When you come in, I just want you to say what comes to you, alright? Don’t think about it too hard.” Bert smiles and Reiner nods in response as he starts to leave the room.

“Alright, see you in a few.” After the door latches, Bertholdt crosses the room to press the record button on the laptop, making sure to also hit the one on the camcorder before climbing onto the bed. He tucks a few pillows behind his back before leaning against the headboard. He pulls the lube out of the top drawer of the nightstand and sets it beside him before beginning to undo the fastenings of his pants. The brunet hums softly as he palms his soft dick through his underwear in an attempt to pique its interest.

Bert slips his eyes shut and sighs through his nose, fondling himself to half hardness before tugging his cock through the opening of the fabric. He opens his eyes and takes a shaky breath when he gives himself a firm stroke, his free hand already reaching for the lube. The brunet drops his cock to pop the cap off and squeezes a small dollop of the cool gel into the palm of his hand. He waits a few seconds for it to warm up before circling his hand around his cock with a hiss. He usually isn’t this into touching himself but the knowledge of what’s to come and the presence of the cameras has really gotten him worked up.

He starts to stroke slowly before pushing his hips into the touch, his free hand coming up to slide against his stomach and push his shirt up. Bertholdt sinks his teeth into his bottom lip when he speeds up, paying more attention to the head with each stroke. He's so immersed in himself that he's almost forgotten about Reiner's planned interruption. _Almost_. His heart rate speeds up when he hears the floor creak on the other side of the door. He isn’t sure if Reiner has made his way down the hall and is hesitating to come in or if he’s been waiting right outside the door this whole time.

Bertholdt's heart almost stops when the door opens suddenly, genuinely surprised by the anticipated intrusion. “Hey, have you seen my-“ The brunet squeaks softly and draws his legs up quickly as he tries to catch his breath. “Oh fuck. God, not again…” Reiner chuckles nervously before bringing a hand up to run through his hair. “Sorry, man…I uhh…I don’t mean to have such bad timing…” He chuckles again as a bright blush continues to spread across his face. Reiner looks genuinely flustered and Bertholdt can’t help but think that if engineering doesn’t work out for him, porn might be the way to go.

Reiner drops his hand and takes a step back as if to leave but pauses with his hand on the door knob. “Actually u-umm…since I’ve got such a bad habit of interrupting you…why don’t I help you out with this one?” Bert shifts nervously.

“Its fine, really…you don’t have to.” The brunet keeps his knees closed as Reiner takes a few steps forward.

“I don’t mind…and it isn’t like it'll mean anything, y'know? Just helping a friend in need.” He smiles before taking a few more steps towards the bed and sitting on the side opposite to Bert. The taller man hums softly as he slowly lowers his legs.

“I-I guess if you really _want_ to…” Reiner shrugs as he situates himself beside Bertholdt.

“Why not? It’s alright for dudes to help each other out every once in a while. Call it a brojob.” He flashes Bert a toothy grin and the brunet really starts to think that Reiner's puns will kill him some day.  The blonde rests a heavy hand on Bertholdt's thigh before trailing his eyes up his body to make eye contact. “May I?” Bert nods slowly as he lowers his legs completely, heart fluttering in his chest when Reiner pulls his thighs further apart.

Reiner hums softly as he walks his fingers up the other man's thigh before nudging the hand away from his cock to replace it with his own. Bertholdt gasps at the contact, Reiner’s hand colder and rougher and his grip firmer than his own had been. The blonde flashes him a satisfied smirk as he begins to stroke slowly. Bert shifts slightly, sliding his back further down the headboard until he’s almost laying flat on the mattress. His shirt is still pushed up from before and he can feel Reiner's eyes on him. Reiner’s hungry gaze almost seems to burn into his skin as the blonde admires the man laid out before him.

Bertholdt trails his eyes along the movements of his boyfriend's hand before pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and giving him the most enticing look he can muster. The look hits Reiner deep in the gut and Bert can tell he’s getting impatient. As Reiner quickens the pace of his hand, Bertholdt finds half the mind to push his jeans from his hips and wiggles until they’ve made their way down his calves. He whines when the blonde lets go of his cock and Reiner smirks in response before leaning towards the end of the mattress to tug the imposing article of clothing off and toss it to the floor.

The blonde resituates himself between Bertholdt’s legs and takes him back into his hand before leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips. He starts to pull away but Bert follows him, an arm coming up to hook around the back of his neck and pull him back down. Reiner sinks his teeth into the taller man's bottom lip as he squeezes the base of his cock, receiving a strained moan in response. He pulls back to catch his breath and grows a bit nervous when green eyes look up at him expectantly. Bertholdt presses a hand against Reiner’s stomach before slowly sliding it down to cup the other man's cock through his jeans.

A soft groan escapes from Reiner's lips before he dips back down to kiss the brunet more fervently than he had before. He pants softly when he pulls away and tucks his fingers beneath the waistband of Bert's boxer briefs. “You want these off?” Bertholdt nods quickly as he begins to sit up.

“Oh god, yes please.” Reiner grins and tugs them off slowly, thankful for Bert's help when the taller man bends his legs. He tosses the garment to the floor before shucking his own shirt off and dropping it on top of the quickly growing pile. Bertholdt stares at his boyfriend in all of his glory, the blush that had formed on his cheeks darkening. “You’re so sexy…” Bert trails his fingertips down the blonde's chest and outlines his abs before starting to dip into the waistband of his pants.

Reiner pulls away from him with nothing more than a mischievous smirk. He slowly slides down the bed before laying flat on his stomach, face just inches away from Bertholdt's cock. The brunet feels his heart flutter in anticipation when Reiner's bright hazel eyes meet his own through thick lashes. “Is this alright?” He gulps before taking a shaky breath.

“Yes…please.” Reiner wastes no time taking him into his mouth and Bertholdt groans when he’s enveloped in wet heat. He's only been blown by Reiner once before and although they didn’t get to finish, it lasted long enough for him to realize how skilled the blonde really is at the task. Reiner firmly flattens his tongue against the underside of Bert's cock before sliding lower, hollowing his cheeks as he pulls back up. Bertholdt allows a hand to rest on top of his boyfriend's head, fingers flexing and pulling at his hair in reaction to the sensations that are coursing through his veins.

Reiner pauses for a moment to inhale through his nostrils before taking Bertholdt deep, earning quite the moan in response. He's good but Bert isn’t getting enough. The taller man squeezes his eyes shut and tightens his grip on the blonde's hair before carefully rolling his hips towards Reiner's mouth, following it as the other man pulls up. Reiner doesn’t protest, just smirks around the cock in his mouth before pausing to let Bertholdt have his way with him. He'd been teasing the other on purpose just to see him come undone like this.

Bert's breathing picks up and Reiner can tell by the way his rhythm is faltering that he's getting close. The blonde pulls off suddenly and Bertholdt whines in protest. He takes a moment to catch his breath before addressing the man that is now giving him a very needy and very frustrated look. “Not yet…wanna fuck you.” Bertholdt nods quickly before speaking breathlessly.

“Y-yes, please….please fuck me.” Reiner pulses almost painfully against the zipper of his pants as goosebumps begin to form on his skin. He reaches a hand down to quickly unfasten his pants, sighing in relief once they come undone. Bert hands him the bottle of lube and he takes it with a smile before pouring a generous amount onto his fingers. He sets the bottle aside and lowers his hand to press his fingers to the brunet’s entrance without hesitation. Bert takes a deep breath when he feels the pressure of one of Reiner's thick fingers against him.

The blonde presses in slowly, receiving a soft moan from the man beneath him before setting a smooth pace. After stretching him with a single finger for a good few minutes, Reiner adds a second finger and scissors them a few times before curving them slightly. Bertholdt yelps at the sudden stimulation of his prostate and Reiner backs off, sliding his fingers almost all the way out to add more lube before slipping them back in. He presses his fingertips against the sensitive spot twice more before Bertholdt grabs his wrist and stops him with a pleading look. “I’m ready for you…” Reiner sucks a deep breath in through his teeth and slowly removes his fingers before sitting back on his heels.

“Are you sure?” Bertholdt nods silently in response and that’s all it takes for Reiner to be hurriedly tugging off the rest of his clothes before lubing himself up and climbing back over the brunet. He breathes shallowly as he grips the undersides of his boyfriend's thighs before easily tugging him to rest in his lap. Bert gasps in slight surprise before wiggling away from the blonde.

“W-wait.” Reiner gives him a worried look but it quickly changes to confusion when the taller man sits upright. “Will you lay back? Umm…I-I wanna ride you.” Reiner's breath hitches and he nods before flipping over and settling into the warm spot Bertholdt had just been occupying. He doesn’t need to be asked twice. Bertholdt climbs over Reiner and straddles his hips before gently sitting on the blonde's thighs. The man below him slides his hands over the tops of Bert's thighs as they take a moment to look at each other, both flustered and horny as ever.

Bertholdt takes a shaky breath and sits up on his knees before reaching behind himself to line Reiner up with his entrance. “Ready?” The blonde nods with a smile before giving his boyfriend a reassuring pat on the hip.

“More than ever.” Bert smiles back faintly and gives himself another second before settling down onto Reiner, gasping softly when the head of the blonde's cock penetrates him. He presses down further, only stopping when he feels the first piercing begging to stretch him wider. Bertholdt takes a deep breath as Reiner rubs his hip soothingly before slowly easing the portion in. He’s pleasantly surprised to find that it’s not much more of a stretch than what he’s used to and the jewelry doesn’t feel all too intrusive since Reiner had switched to a smaller size.

Bertholdt takes each of the four after the first just as slowly, sighing once he finally bottoms out. Reiner's grip on his hips have tightened and Bert can tell that he’s struggling to stay still. The blonde looks up at him, pupils blown wide and voice slightly husky with lust. “You doing alright? Comfortable?” Bertholdt nods with a sweet smile before slowly raising up, gasping softly as each piercing leaves him. He slides back down without hesitation this time, taking each barbell easier this time but still not without some slight discomfort. He readjusts when he bottoms out again but jumps slightly when he feels Reiner's hands reach around to grip his ass.

The blonde's hands remain in place when Bertholdt begins to move again. Bertholdt sets a steady rhythm once he's confident enough that he’s found the right angle, gasping softly when Reiner's fingers press more firmly into his flesh before parting his cheeks. The brunet takes a shaky breath before smiling at the man below him and picking up the pace. It’s still not as fast as Reiner would’ve liked but he knows that he needs to let Bert have this and take his time, as not to hurt himself. Bertholdt presses his hands to Reiner's chest as he moves more confidently now, gasping and stopping completely when he receives a quite heavy yet appreciative slap on the ass.

Bert recovers quickly and smirks at the man below him before continuing his pace. The ends of each barbell drag him open with each roll of his hips and it’s getting harder for him to stay composed as they continue to play with his nerve endings on each pass through the tight ring of muscle. He fully seats himself again before pausing and laying flat against Reiner to rest, his stomach clenching with want as his thighs shudder on either side of the blonde's. Bertholdt is still panting heavily as he listens to his boyfriend's rapid heartbeat but tries to even his breathing out enough to speak a coherent sentence. “Y-you can take over…” Reiner takes a shaky breath as he runs a hand through Bert's sweaty hair.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.” Bertholdt nods slowly as he wiggles his hips with a soft whine, eager to keep going at whatever pace Reiner is happy to give him.

“Won’t hurt me…j-just want you to fuck me.” Reiner sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he slides an arm around Bert's waist, his other hand still gripping an ass cheek. He gives him a soft squeeze as somewhat of a warning before rolling his hips up with a soft groan. It doesn’t take Reiner long to work up to the pace that Bertholdt had set before but he hesitates to surpass it until Bertholdt starts filling his ears with moans and pleas for more. The blonde presses his heels into the mattress before starting to pop his hips up quicker and harder, gasping as his piercings tug with each entrance and exit before burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck to half muffle his noises.

Bertholdt's head swims with pleasure as Reiner continues to press deep, his own cock dragging between their bodies with each thrust. A strangled whine is pulled from his throat when Reiner nips at his neck before pressing his tongue to the spot and sucking softly. “F- _fuck_ …almost…j-just a little more.” Bert sits up a bit shakily in order to catch the blonde's lips on his own, muffling his moans with a sloppy kiss. He finishes like that, practically untouched as he creates a mess between his and Reiner's stomachs. The blonde below him groans softly as his fingers dig harder into the flesh of his ass. He lowers his voice slightly as Bertholdt whines and shivers on top of him due to the continuing overstimulation.

“Almost there baby, almost there…you’re so good, so so good to me.” Bertholdt looks up at him with hazy green eyes and that absolutely beautiful fucked out face of his and that’s all it takes for Reiner to bury himself deep and rut into him until he's pulsing a hot load into the brunet with a deep groan, arm tightening around his waist as he sinks his teeth into the other man's shoulder. Reiner pants heavily after finishing and Bert lets him have his moment before shakily lifting himself up to show off for the camera. Reiner finds half the mind to grip his boyfriend's ass cheeks and spreads them until he feels the warm fluid drip down onto his stomach.

Bertholdt winces at the feeling of Reiner's cum leaving him but continues to hold himself up until his arms and legs fail him and he collapses on top of the blonde below him. Reiner’s arm circles Bert's waist again and his other hand comes up to soothingly run through his hair as the brunet breathes shakily, attempting to calm down. Reiner slides his hand from the back of Bert's head to wrap his arm around the taller man's shoulders before burying his face in the crook of his neck. “I love you…” He presses a soft kiss to the column of his boyfriend's neck before holding him closer. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Bertholdt grins wide before weakly rolling off of Reiner and onto the cool sheets beside him.

“I-I love you too…” The brunet takes a shaky breath before intertwining his fingers with Reiner's.

“Do you need a drink? Maybe a snack too?” Bert shakes his head slowly.

“Yes please…juice and maybe some fruit snacks if they have it…” Reiner sits up slowly and hangs his legs over the edge of the bed, still shaky and hesitant to stand.

“Alright, anything else?” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he begins to play with his wet hair.

“A shower.” Reiner finds the courage to stand and stumbles a bit before finally regaining his balance and making his way around the room to turn both cameras off.

“After we make sure you’re all good, we can take a nice long shower, alright?” Bertholdt nods slowly and a sweet smile crosses his face as he watches Reiner leave the room. The blonde walks down the hall to the kitchen and opens the fridge to grab a couple of juice boxes before bending to dig through the cabinet in search of fruit snacks. 

“Wow, you guys are _loud_.” Reiner smacks his head on the edge of the  counter when he jumps in surprise and quickly swipes a towel from beside the sink to cover himself before turning to the source of the voice.

Krista's sitting in the center of the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table with her hand buried in a bag of pretzels. Reiner turns three shades of red before hissing through his teeth. “What are you doing home?” She shrugs before setting the bag down and resting her hands on her stomach.

“They didn’t need me anymore so I got sent home early…whatcha looking for?” Reiner grumbles softly, cursing everyone and everything for how unlucky he seems to be. He winces as he rubs the spot on the back of his head where he had hit the counter.

“Fruit snacks.” Krista hums softly as she turns her attention back to the television.

“Other cabinet, next to the stove.” Reiner mumbles a short “thanks” before digging through the cabinet and grabbing two packs before hurrying out of the kitchen. “Don’t leave a mess and don’t let Ymir know I let you put your dick on one of our nice dish towels!” Reiner quickly shuts the door behind himself and drops the towel to the floor before turning to Bertholdt who is now sitting up with wide eyes.

“Who was that?” Reiner climbs onto the bed beside him and hands him a juice and a pack of fruit snacks before leaning back with a sigh.

“Krista came home early.”

“O-oh god…you don’t think…?” Reiner snorts softly as he sucks down his juice before dumping the whole pack of gummies into his mouth.

“No, she heard. She definitely heard.” Bertholdt grows quiet as he sips his juice until it’s empty, his unoccupied hand rubbing the blanket nervously. Reiner shifts closer before pulling his hand away from the blanket to squeeze it with his own. “Its nothing to be worried about though…we’ve all heard each other going at it one time or another…its just a common occurrence here because no one really cares.” Bert nods slowly and begins to relax as he finishes up his pack of fruit snacks. He settles down onto the mattress beside Reiner before rolling to face away from him, hands still intertwined as he pulls the blonde's arm over his body and around his waist. “I thought you wanted to shower…” Bert hums softly as he presses back against his boyfriend.

“We have to wash the sheets later anyway so…snuggle first. The shower can wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends!  
> I'll be honest with you, the beginning of this semester has really been kicking my ass. That being said, chapters might be coming later in the day or even a day or two late at most for the time being. Just know that I'm not going to stop writing, I'm just falling behind a bit because I'm working on so many projects for Uni right now.  
> Until next time~ <3<3


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reflections and discoveries

Bertholdt wakes up a few hours later, confused and tangled in a sticky mess of limbs. He slowly slides out of Reiner's tight embrace and rubs his eyes as he sits up, wincing at the slight ache in his muscles. It’s dark out now and he panics slightly before fumbling for his phone and unlocking it to check the time, squinting through the bright light of the display until his eyes have adjusted. He rolls over and gently smacks Reiner’s arm until he wakes up. “Hey, it’s seven.” The blonde pushes a heavy sigh through his nostrils before rolling to his side.

“Fuck.” He stretches with a soft groan before rolling to lay flat on his back. “Don’t wanna clean, too cozy. I wanna lay here forever.” Reiner loops an arm around Bertholdt’s waist and tugs him down suddenly, receiving a squeak in response before pressing a soft kiss to the brunet’s forehead. Bert pouts as he's pulled back into the safety of Reiner's embrace, relaxing slightly before ultimately fighting off the comfort and wiggling out of the blonde's grasp.

“As much as I’d love that, we can’t. We haven't eaten dinner yet, we’ve been sleeping in sweat and dried cum for the past four hours and I would very much like to shower, and we both have class in the morning.” He pesters Reiner yet again, poking his deft fingers into the blonde's sides before flattening his hand out and lightly smacking his stomach. “Come on, get up.” Reiner pouts slightly before sitting up and pressing a soft kiss to Bert's lips.

“Fine… _I guess_.” Bertholdt nods slowly as he slides out of bed before stretching with a satisfied groan.

“You should probably check on your mom before it gets too late.”  The taller man's eyes have mostly adjusted to the darkness in the room now and he can see the outline of a frown cross his boyfriend's face.

“Yeah, probably…”

“Reiner…”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know, but…you need to.”

“But she said she’d call me if she needs anything and as you can see, she hasn’t called.” Bertholdt frowns as he starts to gather his clothes from off of the floor.

“I’m sure she’d still like to hear from you…I know her beliefs are a bit questionable but you’re her only son and she loves you…that being said, you still aren’t obligated to talk to her if you don’t feel like it.” Reiner ruffles his hair before flipping on the bedside lamp.

“I’ll think about it.” The blonde grabs his own clothes before meeting Bertholdt by the door. He cracks it open a bit and peeks out to find the immediate line of slight clear but decides to give Krista a fair warning just in case. “Hey, what room are you in?” The petite blonde shouts her response from several rooms away.

“Living room, why?”

“We’re naked, don’t move until you hear the bathroom door close.”

“Alright, thanks for the warning. Wasn’t planning on moving anyway.” Reiner isn’t quite sure when Krista had started adopting aspects of Ymir’s personality but the traces of her presence are more evident now than ever. Reiner smiles before motioning for Bertholdt to follow him down the hall and into the bathroom. He tosses the pile of clothes in his arms to the floor and shuts the door as Bert does the same.

“Bath or shower?” Bert wrinkles his nose as he brings a hand up to slide against his stomach.

“Shower please…I’d rather not soak in gross water.” Reiner chuckles softly as he nods in agreement before turning the hot water knob and standing back for a moment as it heats up. He waits until the water is steaming before turning the cold water knob until the water runs comfortably warm.

“I’ll join you in a sec.” Reiner steps aside to let Bertholdt get in and get comfortable as he stands by the sink to remove his jewelry, carefully setting each barbell and set of balls on the counter. He fills a small plastic cup with hot water and adds a few pumps of antibacterial soap before stirring it with his finger and dropping the jewelry into the cup. Reiner swirls the water around in the cup before setting it down on the counter and allowing it to rest.

When Reiner steps into the shower, Bertholdt is leaning against the wall with a soapy head of hair as the warm water works the aches out of his back and shoulder muscles. The blonde chuckles softly before reaching up to tilt Bert’s head back, careful not to shove his face under the stream with the rest of his head. “Hey…why don’t you rinse first before you decide to relax?” The brunet hums softly as Reiner rinses his hair for him.

“The water feels too good…” Reiner smiles as he continues to run his fingers through Bert's wet hair.

“I know you’re enjoying yourself but do you think I could have a turn? I’ll help you wash up if you can get my hair.”  Bertholdt returns the smile and nods before standing up straight, careful not to bump his head on the showerhead. He tops out at just a few inches taller than where the nozzle sits but it isn’t a new or rare occurrence for him. The only place Bertholdt had been able to take a decent shower without having to lean had been at home where his parents had installed a rain showerhead when he had outgrown their old one.

Reiner has to lean slightly as well since his head is just about level with the faucet and Bertholdt smiles, thankful that he has someone to relate with in regards to his height and it’s incompatibility with household items. Bert runs a dollop of conditioner through his hair before grabbing the shampoo and beginning to lather it into Reiner's hair. He steps a little closer with a hum as his fingertips rub soothing circles into the shorter man's scalp. “Keeping it a little messy, are we?” Reiner shrugs as he soaks a dry washcloth before scrubbing a bit of soap into the fabric.

“Haven’t really had the time to even think about getting it cut…it doesn’t bother you, does it?” The blonde hands the washcloth to Bert for a moment as he tips his head back to rinse before running some conditioner through his still short but longer-than-usual hair. He takes the washcloth from Bertholdt's hand before stepping closer to gently scrub his chest, occasionally squeezing the cloth to allow more soapy water to drip out.

“No, it's not bad…I just know that _you’ve_ never really cared for it…not since we were little kids, anyway.” A corner of Reiner's lip turns up slightly as he works his way down to the taller man's stomach.

“Oh yeah? Well, how do you know I didn’t wear it long in high school?” Bertholdt blushes softly and stutters for a moment, unwilling to admit that he may or may not have stalked the blonde's social media accounts at some point in time.

“It was just a hunch…but then again, you always liked it when I would cut it for you so I wasn’t so sure if you'd have gone somewhere to let someone else do it.” Reiner motions for Bert to lift his arm and scrubs beneath it before repeating the motions with the other.

“Yeah…I was actually a little reluctant at first.” The blonde chuckles softly. “But I figured if your untrained eye could make me look decent, then a professional hairstylist could too.” Reiner stands awkwardly and shifts his weight to his opposite leg as the washcloth hangs loosely in his hand. “I’ll get your back but you can get the waist down if you want…” Bertholdt shrugs and quickly glances away as he begins to speak.

“I umm…I don’t mind if you want to get everything. I’ll take care of you as much as you take care of me but It’s up to you…just no hanky panky or anything. I think I’m spent for the night. Or maybe the next week.” Bertholdt chuckles softly before leaning down slightly to press a soft kiss to Reiner's cheek. When he stands back up the slight bruise that had been forming on his shoulder catches the blonde's eye. Reiner takes a step closer to get a better look at the mark as he absentmindedly finishes washing Bert up. He recognizes the faint outline of teeth before pulling back to pout up at his boyfriend.

“Bertl…did I hurt you?” Bertholdt hums softly as he raises his hand to press his long fingers against the bruise with a faint smile.

“No, not really…I enjoyed myself quite thoroughly.” Reiner steps closer again to reach around Bert's body and the taller man yelps softly as the washcloth slides between his cheeks. Reiner pulls away again only to be met with a sheepish look from his boyfriend.

“Bertl…” Bertholdt hums softly as he takes the washcloth from Reiner's hand before finishing up, his own touch gentler than the blonde's had been.

“I’m just a little sore…but I’m fine, I promise. We were just a little rough is all.” He gives the other man a reassuring smile as he rinses the washcloth out and applies more soap before beginning to rub soothing circles into Reiner's skin with the cloth.

“You’re sure?” Reiner knows it’s nothing too serious but he still can’t shake the sense of worry that’s come over him. Bertholdt smiles before pressing a kiss to the blonde's forehead.

“Positive.”

 

* * *

 

 

After cleaning each other up and getting dressed, Reiner and Bertholdt left the bathroom to head back to the guest room and strip the sheets from the bed. Krista catches them in the hall on their way to the laundry room. “I’m about to make dinner if you two would like to stay.” Reiner drops his armful of sheets on the floor in front of the washer before turning to look at Bertholdt. The taller man simply nods and Reiner turns back to face Krista.

“Yeah, sounds nice. I can help you out in the kitchen too if you want…Bertl has some homework he needs to do.” Bertholdt starts to load the blankets into the washer before furrowing his brow in confusion. He stands to look at Reiner who is winking at him while making a weird motion with his hand. After a moment, it clicks. The video. Bertholdt smiles with a nod before turning to change the washer settings and start the machine.

“Yeah, it shouldn’t take me too long though. I’ll join you guys in a little bit.” Reiner's odd movements hadn’t gone unnoticed and Krista gives him a funny look before turning to walk back towards the kitchen.  Reiner gives Bert a quick kiss before following her out.

“Alright so, I was thinking lemon pepper chicken, green beans, and wild rice with mushrooms…if you can start the rice, I’ll prep the chicken.” Bertholdt smiles as he heads in the opposite direction, their voices fading as he reaches the door to the guest room. He crosses the room and dismantles the camcorder from the tripod before popping the SD card out and resting the camcorder on the end of the bed. Bertholdt kneels at the dresser and runs his fingertips across the trackpad to wake his computer up before inserting the SD card and transferring the video to the videos folder on his computer.

Bertholdt quickly ejects the card once the file has transferred and returns it to its spot within the camcorder before turning back to the laptop. He takes a moment to turn his volume to the lowest setting other than mute before opening the video he had recorded with the laptop. Although he’s not new to being recorded in intimate situations, it never gets any less embarrassing for him to see himself onscreen. He doesn’t watch it in entirety, just clicks through quickly to make sure everything turned out right.

The brunet quickly does the same with the camcorder footage, blushing considerably brighter at the more explicit display. He quickly exports the first to video editing software and clips out the beginning until the video starts with him getting comfortable on the bed. Bertholdt then skips to the end and cuts it just before Reiner had been overcome with affection for him. He imports the second video and clips it to begin just before penetration before formatting it to play in an empty corner of the main scene. When he's finished checking the video for synchronization errors, he decides to add a full shot of the camcorder footage of their climax scene at the end as a final touch.

Bertholdt hums softly as he quickly clicks through the edited video, saving it once completely satisfied. A knock on the door startles him and he quickly lowers the laptop lid before nervously turning to meet whoever had caught him. He sighs softly once he sees that it’s only Reiner. The blonde smirks and leans against the doorframe as he crosses his arms “Wow...if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that I just caught you watching porn.” Bertholdt gives his boyfriend a well-meant glare and rolls his eyes before turning back to the computer and returning to the task at hand.

“What’s up?” The brunet opens his usual site and logs in before clicking on the “upload video” button.

“Dinner’s taking a little longer than we thought.” Reiner chuckles softly before deciding to come closer. “Krista decided we should have rolls too…and _then_ she also decided she wanted to make dessert so we got a little side-tracked." Bertholdt smiles as he starts adding tags before writing a quick description.

“Alright…I’ll be done in just a second.” He types a title into the textbox before choosing a thumbnail, humming when he feels the blonde's hand press against his back before he’s hovering over him.

“’Jock barebacks shy roommate and fills him with cum '…” Reiner raises an eyebrow and chuckles softly before looking at Bert. “…Spoken like a true poet.” Bertholdt pouts for a moment after pulling his eyes away from the screen.

“Do you think I should change it?” Reiner ruffles his boyfriend's hair before standing straight.

“No, it’s good. It’ll definitely bring an audience.” Bert smiles before uploading the video and closes the browser before saving an original, uncut copy. He closes the lid on his laptop before standing. Reiner slips his own hand into the brunet’s before leaning up slowly to kiss him softly. “Can I see it later? Bertholdt nods slowly and lets go of Reiner's hand before folding up the tripod and grabbing the camcorder. Reiner takes the items from Bert before leading him out of the room, stopping to put the items back in their original places before heading back into the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, the boys had finished cleaning up the room and had made up the bed before waiting with Krista until Ymir arrived. They'd made light conversation up until Ymir had gotten Reiner to take a shot with her…or four. Needless to say, Bertholdt had driven home that night. Now one hell of a hangover and two days later Reiner sits in his chemistry lab, rushing to do the pre-lab that he had forgotten to do the night prior. He checks the clock nervously and scribbles in answers to the last few questions with only one minute left.

Reiner turns his paper in to Professor Zoe when she makes her way around to him before finally taking the moment to notice that Pieck still hasn’t arrived. Hanji hums softly as she passes behind the blonde. “Sorry Braun, looks like you’ll have to find a new partner today. Pieck emailed me early this morning to let me know that she isn’t feeling well and won’t be in today.” Reiner nods slowly before thanking the professor and turning to search the room for a partner. He sighs softly once he notices that everyone is already paired before carefully sliding over to the two girls at the table beside him.

“Care if I join you two for today?” He flashes them a bright, friendly smile but it falters as he awaits an answer. He’s not sure why he’s so nervous to talk to new people. After all, he'd never had a problem with making friends in high school but maybe that was just because he had a bubbly personality and talents to exploit. Reiner attempts to summon his former self in order to fit in a little better than the stressed mess that he's become.

One of the girls giggles and her friend nudges her with an elbow before addressing him. “Yeah, that’s fine. As long as you’ll split the work evenly.” Reiner works up a genuine smile and thanks them for their kindness before pulling up a chair and starting on their lab assignment.

 

* * *

 

 

The lab goes surprisingly well but Reiner still hopes that Pieck will be feeling better by the next one. The girls he had paired up with were nice, but he has an overwhelming sense that they were just using him for his natural aptitude for the sciences. He shakes off the feeling and calls his mother on the way back to the dorm, ultimately agreeing to run her to the store. Reiner accidentally curses when he drops something while they’re out and ends up getting a lecture about how “although cursing is a small sin, it is still a sin, and no sin shall be taken lightly in the eyes of the Lord.”

When Reiner finally returns to the dorm, he is exasperated. Today just hasn’t been his day and all that’s on his mind is a nice, long nap. That is, until he comes home to catch Bertholdt watching a video. _Their_ video. He isn’t doing anything inappropriate and he doesn’t jump to close the browser when Reiner enters so the blonde figures he must be working on it professionally. When Bert finally looks up at him with a bright smile, all of the stress that had accumulated during the day seems to melt away.

“Hi, baby!” Reiner stands still in the doorway as Bertholdt stands to approach him, throwing his arms around the blonde in a tight embrace when he reaches him. Reiner can’t help but smile at his boyfriend's unusual gleefulness. He’s not sure why Bert is in such a good mood but he has a feeling it has something to do with their incredibly close connection and the brunet’s knack for reading emotions. Reiner slides his arms around Bertholdt’s waist before resting his head on his shoulder.

“Hey…doing more editing?” Bert hums softly before shrugging, locked in Reiner's embrace until the blonde decides to turn away to close the door before taking off his coat and unpacking his books from class.

“Nah…just watching.” Reiner raises an eyebrow at him before sitting on the edge of the bed to remove his shoes.

“You in a mood?” Bertholdt smiles faintly and shakes his head as he crosses the room to sit beside Reiner.

“Not really, I just haven’t actually watched the video yet. I just did a quick run through before editing and posting it.” Bert pauses for a moment before giving Reiner a hopeful look. “Maybe we could watch it together and then look at the comments?” Reiner smiles and lowers his voice to almost a whisper, allowing himself to sink into the mattress as he lays back.

“Yeah, we can do that.” Bert springs up from the edge of the bed to grab his laptop and hit the lights before climbing into bed beside his boyfriend who is now slumped halfway against the wall with a pillow behind his back to keep him elevated. The brunet tugs the blankets over his own legs and Reiner chuckles softly as his boyfriend situates himself. “Are we watching it like we’re about to binge a Netflix original?” Bert flashes Reiner an amused smile before resting the laptop between them.

“I just enjoy being comfy, is all.” He sets the video to full-screen before hitting the play button. For the first few minutes, Bertholdt watches himself get himself off with bored eyes but a quick glance at Reiner shows that the blonde's eyes are transfixed to the figure on the screen.  Reiner enters the scene a moment later and he cringes at his own atrocious acting before actually feeling a shred of guilt once he notices how embarrassed Bertholdt actually looks in the video. It slowly fades away though when he reminds himself that everything was just an act.

The second display appears a few minutes later and Reiner's mouth makes an audible click when his jaw drops. He turns to look at the man beside him who is smiling proudly. “I was wondering how you were planning on merging them…damn… _fuck_.” Reiner runs a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs back as his eyes drift back to the screen. “Holy shit, we're hot.” Bertholdt’s proud grin grows wider. Considering that Reiner’s last three statements had included curses, Bert would say that they must’ve done a pretty good job. The brunet hums softly as he laces his fingers together with Reiner's.

A few more minutes pass with Bert cringing at the sounds of his own moans as the man beside him relishes in them.  Reiner reaches a hand down to unfasten his pants before shifting slightly to get more comfortable. Bertholdt figures that the blonde must be almost uncomfortably aroused by now but he doesn’t press the issue. Reiner has been somewhat reluctant to engage in any intimate activities since Sunday night, despite Bert's constant reassurance that the aches and pains he had felt afterward were not a bad thing.

“How much longer?” Reiner's mouth is suddenly very dry when he finally opens it to speak again. Bertholdt traces a finger over the trackpad until the video details show up.

“Just under ten minutes.” Reiner turns to look at the brunet with a raised eyebrow.

“Really… _ten_?” Bert chuckles softly as he nods in response.

“Yeah. You seem surprised.”

“Well, I mean…we’ve already been going at it for ten minutes. I guess I just didn’t realize that we lasted so long.” Bertholdt gasps in feigned offense.

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” Reiner chuckles softly before squeezing his boyfriend's hand.

“I don’t think it’s very hard for us to get each other off in the first place…and Christ, I don’t even know how I lasted more than two minutes with you on top of me like that. Must’ve been a miracle.” Bertholdt blushes slightly as Reiner starts to praise him.

“I’m happy you liked it.” Reiner hums softly as he turns his attention back to the screen.

“I _loved_ it.” Bertholdt smiles faintly, proud but too embarassed to show it this time. They’re both silent until the end, the very last scene Bertholdt had inserted causing a shiver to run down his spine. He sees Reiner clench the sheets in his fists, his voice a whisper. “Oh, wow.” He can almost feel the sensations again as he watches himself fill Bertholdt up. Reiner has a feeling that he’s going to be using this video as masturbation material for a _long_ time. Bertholdt hums softly as he exits full-screen mode.

“Good? Enjoy it?” Reiner chuckles softly as he readjusts his pillow before sitting up straight.

“I’m honestly impressed.” Bert grins as he navigates to the comments section but it quickly fades as he sees what he’s dealing with. He’d known there would be quite a few since he had posted it three days ago and hadn’t even thought about checking it but he wasn’t quite expecting _this_ many. He scrolls through slowly, noticing a mix of the usual porn site comments such as “I wish I had a top/bottom like that” and “came so hard watchin u. Thnks bb.” Reiner reads along with him as the text scrolls by.

Bertholdt recognizes some of the users as his usual audience and makes sure to thank each of them with a kind message. He scrolls down a little further until a glimpse of a gold star catches his eye, indicating that the user is someone he's added to his favorites list.

“hungnhandsome: I knew I recognized you from somewhere. ;)” Bertholdt's stomach drops and his eyes widen as he tries to think of where he’s heard that recently. _Thanksgiving…no, after Thanksgiving…the truck…Erwin._

“Oh my God, Reiner...the cop.” Reiner finishes reading over the comment before giving Bert a confused look.

“The cop?” Bertholdt goes pale and his mouth dries out as he feels himself grow more nervous.

“Yes, th-the cop…after your mom's.” Bertholdt covers his face in embarrassment as his back slides down the wall. All he wants to do is hide. Reiner's eyes widen as it finally clicks.

“He came back because he thought he recognized you from somewhere…” Reiner chuckles softly. “Small world, I guess.” Bertholdt raises his voice slightly, upset that he had been recognized.

“It isn’t funny, Reiner! No one's ever recognized me before. No one…” The blonde frowns slightly before starting to soothingly rub circles into his boyfriend's back.

“I’m sure it was just a coincidence, baby…I don’t think that many people in our immediate area have seen your shows.” Bertholdt slowly relaxes into Reiner's touch before lowering his hands.

“You’re…you’re right. I’m just freaking out for nothing.” He takes a deep breath before rubbing his eyes. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” Reiner smiles as he closes the laptop and sets it on the nightstand before lying flat and pulling Bertholdt close.

“Hey, no harm done.”  Reiner presses a firm kiss to Bert’s forehead and the taller man rolls closer before pressing his thigh between the blonde's legs in hopes of initiating something that will keep the newly discovered information from weighing on his mind. Reiner has apparently given up on abstaining because Bertholdt succeeds and the situation with Erwin is easily forgotten.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner makes a new friend and Bertholdt almost wishes he hadn't.

Pieck misses the next two chemistry lectures but Reiner is relieved to find that she’s arrived at the next lab on time and in good health. He isn’t quite sure how sick she would’ve had to have been to miss a whole week’s worth of material but he hopes it isn’t too hard for her to make up for the points she's missed. They’ve just completed their lab and are working together on their lab report when Pieck sighs before leaning back in her chair.

Reiner draws his eyes away from the sheet of paper before giving her a slightly worried look. “You feeling okay?” Pieck gives him a faint smile before scooting closer to the lab table.

“Yeah, just a bit tired…” She rests her head against the cool surface of the table before closing her eyes. Reiner nods slowly as he returns his attention to the report. He figures she must still be recovering from the stomach bug that had been responsible for her absences. It’s silent for a moment before she speaks again, voice still as calm and soft as ever. “So next week is dead week and this is our last lab of the semester…” Pieck sits up slowly before ripping the corner off of a page in her notebook and scribbling something down.

Reiner hums softly as he continues to answer the post-lab questions. “Yeah…”

“…and I’m not sure if I have any classes with you next semester.” She pauses for a moment before sliding the paper across the table to him. “I wanted you to have this…just in case you need anything.” Reiner glances at the paper to find that it contains a phone number and he quickly grows nervous.

“I-I umm…” He gives the girl in front of him a worried look before lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’m sorry but…I have a boyfriend.” A familiar anxious feeling seeps through his mind and he tries to push it away. Reiner hasn’t felt this way since high school and he hates it. He thought that he had left his days of sexual insecurity in the past but apparently not. Pieck waves her hand casually with a soft laugh.

“No, I know…so do I. This is just a friendly gesture.” Reiner flashes her a faint smile before growing more nervous. _She knows?_ He figures that if Pieck had been able to tell, then everyone must be able to see it in him…including his mother. A brief wave of panic washes over the blonde until Pieck lays a reassuring hand on his arm with a soft smile.

“Sorry if this seems intrusive but I caught the name on your phone once when you were texting him…the heart kind of gives it away.” Reiner nods as he begins to relax. He isn’t sure why he's been feeling so different, so on edge lately but he doesn’t like it. He’s proud of himself and of his relationship and he doesn’t want to hide it, so why does he still feel like he should? Reiner chalks it up to his mother's influence and finds half the mind to smile politely before folding the piece of paper in half and sliding it into his pocket.

“Thanks…” Reiner writes his own number down at the top of her paper. “Just in case yours accidentally gets washed.” Pieck smiles and thanks him before slowly pulling the lab packet towards her.

“I think you’ve done more than your fair share of work…I’ll get the rest.” Reiner hums softly as he sets his pencil down.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind doing the work.” He chuckles softly as he watches her scribble in answers quicker than he could even think. “You do most of the report every time we're in here…”

“What can I say? I’m good at chemistry.” Reiner snorts softly before crossing his arms.

“And I’m not?”

“No, you're good too…but I’m really good at memorization so it goes quicker if I’m the one writing.” Reiner smiles softly, growing more comfortable as their conversation progresses. Pieck is being more talkative and less professional than usual today. Reiner doesn’t know what has changed but he’s happy to be making a friend at college aside from people he's known since high school. Pieck glances over their answers before gathering her things and heading to the front of the room to turn the packet in to the professor before turning to leave. Reiner frowns slightly at the lack of even a simple farewell and slings his backpack over his shoulder before following her path.

It doesn’t take much for Reiner to catch up to her with his long legs. “Hey, w-wait…” He isn’t sure what he wants to say to her, if anything. He just hadn’t wanted the conversation to end yet. “Umm…do you have a class right now?”

“No, but…I was going to meet my boyfriend and his brother for dinner.” Reiner chews his lip nervously. He doesn’t want to intrude so he nods as he takes a step back.

“Alright, see you around?” He smiles softly and she returns it.

“You can join us if you would like. It’s alright to ask, y’know.” Reiner stands silent, stunned by how well Pieck had just read him. No one other than Bertholdt has ever been able to do it. Reiner is impressed but also somewhat dismayed that it's a gift that he doesn't possess. He nods slowly before shifting his weight to the other leg.

“Umm…yeah, I’d like that. You don’t mind if I bring a plus one do you?” Pieck weighs the possibilities of Bertholdt recognizing them and concludes that if Reiner still hasn’t discovered the truth, then there’s still a good chance that Bert hasn’t either.

“Yeah, you can bring your boyfriend. I don’t mind.” She smiles sweetly but still feels a slight hint of unease. Maybe it isn’t such a good idea. She’s relatively new to knowing about their past, having only awakened her memories the week prior, and even though the boys had briefed her pretty well she still isn’t quite sure how this whole reincarnation thing functions.

It’s clear that not all circumstances stay the same since Marcel is still with them and there isn’t a single trace of titans in this universe.  At first, Pieck had thought that maybe they had all just been born into a later time but after scouring the internet and spending a few good nights pouring over history texts, nothing had even hinted at there being the slightest existence of titans or the war. She hasn’t the slightest clue how any of this works or what’s going on and she absolutely hates it since she’s gotten so used to having the answers for everything.

Pieck brushes off her uneasy feeling as Reiner grins wide. She doesn’t think she could deny him, not after seeing the train wreck he had become a lifetime ago. He hadn’t really ever talked about his time on that island and everyone had known not to ask. They knew it must’ve been traumatic but now she wonders just how bad it must’ve been to break such a kind and joyful person. He looks younger now than he had the last time she had known him and she’s glad that he’s gotten a second chance at a happy life, that they all have.

“Our res hall is pretty central to most of the dining courts so if you don’t mind, I’d like to stop there first. But I know it’s out of your way so you don’t have to tag along. You can go ahead and meet your friends if you want.” Reiner smiles politely as he starts to walk toward the front doors of the building. Pieck follows behind him and the blonde changes his walking speed to make it easier for her to keep up.

“No, I can tag along. I don't mind.” She smiles softly when he holds the door for her. She figures she should scope things out and try to gauge Bert's reaction to her presence. It could be beneficial to keep tabs on everyone who remembers. Pieck braces herself for the chill of the December air as they leave the building. Reiner tries to make the trip quick since he isn’t too fond of the cold either.

After walking beside her for a few minutes, Reiner notices that Pieck seems to have difficulty keeping up. He further slows his pace and smiles at her when he drops back to walk beside her. “Sorry, don’t mean to be so slow…herniated disc.” Pieck returns his smile as they approach the dorm.

“Ahh…does it hurt?” The small woman shrugs before adjusting her backpack.

“Not really…only when I cough or sneeze usually. My legs are just kind of numb or tingly most of the time if I’m not laying down.” It takes Reiner a moment but he notices the odd way she walks; like her legs are asleep or are just waking up. It’s subtle enough to not be too noticeable but he can tell that it still troubles her.

Reiner carefully walks behind her as she climbs the steps to the front doors of the residence hall before rushing ahead to hold the glass door open for her. Pieck smiles at Reiner's enthusiasm to help her. She doesn’t need the help since she’s had her fair share of numb and tingly legs for a lifetime but she still appreciates the gesture. Reiner leads her up to the room and when he opens the door, she’s surprised to see a short blonde standing by one of the desks. _Oh…that’s not Bertholdt._ A brief wave of disappointment works through her as she realizes she had misread the situation.

Pieck could’ve sworn that Reiner's description of his roommate had fit Bertholdt perfectly and the heart beside his name in the blonde's contacts was a dead giveaway. Reiner sets his backpack down beside one of the desks before lightly ruffling Armin's hair. The shorter man jumps, having heard the two come in but assuming it was just Bert returning from the restroom. “O-oh, hey Reiner.” Reiner chuckles softly before sitting in his own desk chair.

“Hey, what’s up?” Armin quickly closes his notebook and sets his pencil down on Bert's desk, glancing a Pieck for a second before turning to Reiner.

“Oh, nothing much…just some studying.” Pieck lingers in the doorway as she tries to pinpoint where she recognizes this “Armin” from. She’s pulled from her thoughts when a broad frame bumps into her. She turns to look at whoever is apologizing profusely to find Bertholdt towering over her. His eyes widen slightly as she faces him and he stops speaking.

“H-hey…” His eyes dart between Pieck – who seems to know something – and Reiner, who seems to know nothing. She gives him a friendly smile before holding out her hand.

“Hi, I’m Pieck. I’m one of Reiner's friends from class.” Bertholdt slowly reaches out to shake her hand and feels her squeeze when they make contact. Pieck shakes his hand politely but holds intense eye contact as she just barely begins to nod her head. Bert gives her an understanding nod in response.

“Hi...Bertholdt. It’s nice to meet you.” After exchanging a fake introduction, Bertholdt slips past the short woman to lean against the desk that Armin is sitting at. They trade a look before Bert shifts his gaze to Reiner, who is beaming at him from the other side of the desk.

“Hey, baby. Wanna go get some dinner? Pieck said we can come with her.” Bertholdt shifts nervously before glancing back down at Armin.

“Umm…a-actually Armin and I were kind of busy with something…” Armin smiles at him politely before casually waving his hand.

“Don’t worry about it, we were almost done anyway.” The shorter blonde bends to shove his things back into his backpack before standing.

“Are you sure?” Armin nods in response.

“Yeah. I’ll see you in a few days anyway, right?” Bertholdt smiles with a nod. Armin slides on his coat before heading to stand in the doorway beside Pieck.

Reiner joins them and Bertholdt bundles up before following the other three downstairs and out of the building, only separating when Armin branches off to go back to his own dorm. The remainder of their journey to the dining court is awkwardly silent, with Reiner doing most of the talking. Bertholdt continues to take quick glances at the woman beside him and even though she doesn’t acknowledge it, he knows that she’s noticed. He needs to talk to her, and soon.

Bert hears Reiner address him before realizing he hadn’t been listening. “Oh…Huh? Sorry, I saw a cute squirrel in that tree.” Reiner chuckles softly before giving the brunet a loving smile.

“I asked if you were excited for Christmas.” Bertholdt smiles sweetly as he loops his pinky with Reiner’s as they walk. He thinks he feels the blonde pull away slightly but instead of drawing away completely, the other’s pinky squeezes around his own.

“Super excited.” Bertholdt smiles as he thinks about the brightly colored lights that’ll soon decorate his home and the stollen he’ll get to help his mother make. “I’m surprised you even had to ask.”

“I didn’t. Just wanted to see you get excited.” Reiner grins wide, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Bertholdt looks at him with a heart full of love, completely convinced that this man was made for him. There’s no one else he could ever imagine wanting to spend the rest of his life with. Reiner holds the door of the dining hall open and ushers his two companions inside before following them in.

Once they’re in the main seating area, Bertholdt catches Pieck looking for something…or rather _someone_. A somewhat uneasy feeling settles in his stomach. Something isn’t right here but he can’t quite pinpoint what it is. His unease grows when he catches a glimpse of a familiar head of strawberry blonde tugging Pieck away from his side when Reiner becomes distracted.

Bertholdt hears a faint “What the fuck are _they_ doing here?” before finally turning his head to see if what he suspects is true. Porco’s frame is bent over Pieck slightly as she explains the situation. He had expected at least this much but he hadn’t expected to see the figure standing behind them staring at him with wide eyes.

_Marcel._


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys catch up with some old friends.

Bertholdt feels the color drain from his face as he tries to stabilize himself. He’s dizzy with the multitude of thoughts that are swimming through his mind. The whole room is spinning and for a moment he feels like he might pass out. Bert grips Reiner’s sleeve loosely and overcomes the feeling as his eyes refocus. Up until today, he hadn’t even thought about the other warriors. He was shocked to bump into Pieck standing in the doorway of his dorm room but he's twice as shocked to see Marcel. He had assumed that circumstances now were nearly the same as they were before so he hadn’t even considered the possibility of Marcel still being alive.

Reiner is speaking to him but it sounds muffled. A firm shake knocks him out of his trance and he quickly turns to look at the blonde beside him. Reiner has a hand wrapped firmly around Bert's bicep with a worried expression present on his face. “Hey…is everything alright?”  Bertholdt nods slowly before taking a timid step closer.

“Yeah…just…I’m not feeling too well…sorry for making you worry…” Reiner frowns slightly before glancing at Pieck and her friends who are still standing beside the circular table.

“You don’t need to apologize for that…I care about you so of course I’m going to worry.” Bertholdt musters up a soft smile and Reiner smiles back before allowing his hand to fall back to his side. “Come on, let’s grab something to eat and join them.” The brunet nods in response and Reiner makes a small motion to Pieck, indicating that they're going to go ahead and get their food. She smiles softly before giving him a thumbs up.

When they return with their plates the table is empty save for a few coats thrown over the backs of chairs. Reiner sets two full plates on the table in front of one of the empty chairs and Bert claims his spot beside him. Bertholdt is nervous and he’s not sure how much he’ll be able to eat but he knew Reiner would worry if he didn’t eat anything so he had settled on a bit of pasta and some vegetables. He ignores the frown the blonde gives him as he pushes a few peas around on his plate.

Porco is the first to return and his lip curls up in distaste when he sees that Reiner had chosen to sit in the seat beside his. He sets his plate on the table before grabbing his belongings in one hand and Pieck's in the other to switch them, placing her beside the blonde instead. Reiner pretends not to notice. After all, not _every_ new person he meets his going to like him. Reiner sets his fork down and finishes chewing before turning his attention to the man now seated across from him. “Hi, I’m Reiner. I don’t believe we've met.” He holds his hand out for a friendly handshake. Porco rolls his eyes and acknowledges the blonde's outstretched hand but doesn’t make a move to uncross his arms.

“You can call me Galliard.” Reiner nods slowly, a bit disappointed as he draws his hand back. He's dealt with people disliking him before but he’s never dealt with someone just being outright unfriendly. Despite the other's unfriendliness, Reiner still can’t take his eyes off of Porco. Something about him seems familiar.

Bertholdt has since abandoned the peas on his plate and is now texting Annie and Armin his concerns from under the table. He finishes up his current message and locks his phone before resting it in his lap when he feels Reiner's gaze shift to him.

“Hey…aren’t you hungry?” Bertholdt looks at the cold pasta on his plate before taking a small bite and shrugging.

“Not really…” Reiner frowns slightly before sliding his hand over to run his fingertips over the back of Bert’s hand. He pulls his hand away when he hears Pieck sit beside him and looks up to find Porco scowling at them. Pieck nudges the strawberry blonde lightly as a soft smile begins to creep across her face.

“Come on, Porco…stop being so bitter.” His scowl deepens slightly but softens when he uncrosses his arms with a sigh. Reiner curiously raises an eyebrow.

“Porco? Thought you said your name was Galliard.”

“Galliard’s my last name, genius. We aren’t friends so you don’t get first name privileges.” He huffs and returns his arms to their crossed position over his chest, grunting softly when he receives a kick to the shin from Pieck. She gives him a look that says “be nice” and he rolls his eyes in response. Bert grows more nervous as he watches Reiner squint at the man across from him.

“Wait…do I know you from somewhere?” Porco scoffs before stretching his legs out.

“Doubt it.” Reiner's eyes light up in recognition and he points a finger at the man across from him.

“No, I do know you! We were in the same kindergarten class. You always used to make fun of me because I cried all the time!” Porco snorts softly and waves his hand in dismissal.  He knows what Reiner is talking about but he doesn’t acknowledge it. There’s really no good reason for him to be bitter toward the blonde anymore but he'll always find one, having always been a natural instigator.

“Oh…you’re  _that_ kid…hope you aren’t as weird now as you were back then.” Reiner frowns slightly in response but chooses not to say anything.

Marcel finally returns with a full plate and takes his place beside Bertholdt. He looks just about as stressed as Bert feels. He sighs softly and gives Bertholdt an anxious glance before taking a few bites of his food. “Hey.” Bert smiles softly in response before giving him a small wave.

“Hey.” Reiner turns toward the two to his left before flashing Marcel a wide smile and holding his hand out, hoping to receive a better reaction than he had from Porco.

“Hi, the name's Reiner. I'm Pieck's friend from class.” Marcel quickly shakes his nerves away before returning a polite smile and extending his hand to shake.

“Marcel. I promise I’ve got a better personality than my brother over here…” He snickers softly when he feels a whoosh of air brush his pant leg, indicating that Porco had tried to kick him but had missed.  Reiner smiles politely, lip slowly curling up into a smirk as he looks at Porco.

“Its alright…I’m sure it’s just a redhead thing.” He ignores the irritated look that Porco gives him.

“It isn’t _red_ …it's strawberry blonde.” Pieck snorts softly as everyone turns their attention to him. They all silently agree that his hair is undeniably red. Reiner looks away to continue eating. He finishes chewing his mouthful of chicken and takes a sip of water before clearing his throat awkwardly.

“So I know Pieck wants to concentrate in civil engineering but I was wondering what you two were majoring in...” Marcel speaks up first.

“Computer Science.”  Bert raises his eyebrows slightly.

“ _Wow_ …I looked into CS before I enrolled but I’ll admit, there was _way_ too much math involved for me.” The brunet chuckles softly. Marcel looks at him with slightly wider eyes, a little surprised to hear him speak since he's been quiet for the entirety of their meal. Reiner nudges Bert playfully.

“Oh come on, Bertl. You’re great at math! And don’t act like veterinary isn’t hard.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he begins to relax. He shrugs casually before picking his fork up to push his food around again and decides to take a bite.

“It just depends on what your strengths are, really…” Marcel nods in agreement.

“You’ve got that right. Don’t you get kicked out of vet school if you get a B or lower? Something like that…?” Bertholdt finishes chewing before taking a sip of water.

“It’s a C minus… and no, you don’t get kicked out. You just aren’t allowed to move on to your concentration.” Marcel whistles softly before whispering a soft “damn”. He turns away from Bert to look at Reiner.

“What about you, Reiner? What do you do?”

“I _think_ I want to concentrate in robotics engineering but that’s still subject to change. Maybe I’ll decide to do mechanical instead.” He chuckles softly and Marcel nods in response. Reiner turns his attention to Porco, who has yet to join their conversation. “You?” The strawberry blonde looks a bit reluctant to answer.

“You guys aren’t going to make fun of me again, are you?” Pieck rests her hand on top of his reassuringly, letting him know that he needs to calm down and be a little less defensive. Reiner smiles politely.

“No, I promise. I’m genuinely interested.” Porco visibly relaxes before dropping his arms to allow them to rest on the table.

“Aviation.” Reiner raises his eyebrows in mild surprise.

“Like…aviation management or…?”

“Professional flight.” It’s clear that Porco isn’t too fond of talking about himself. Reiner clears his throat awkwardly.

“So do you get to fly this semester or are those courses later on in your curriculum?”

“I started flying this semester and I should have my private pilot's license in about a week if I pass the final examination. It shouldn’t be too hard since it’s just another test flight. After that, my coursework basically just consists of gen ed courses, some classes that have to do with internal systems of aircraft, and commercial flight classes for my commercial flight license.” Reiner smiles as the other man begins to trail off. Porco isn’t too bad of a guy, just a bit abrasive, but it seems like he lowers his guard if you can get him talking about something he’s really interested in.

“That really cool…it sounds like you enjoy it quite a bit.” Porco shrugs casually.

“Yeah well, at least it isn’t military.” He trails off and nervously takes a drink of his water once he realizes what he'd said. Everyone is giving him that look that tells him he’s said too much. Reiner just laughs softly in response.

“Yeah, Ma was kind of pushy about it with me too…it's not that I have a problem with the military, I just don’t think it’s the right thing for me, y’know?” Porco nods slowly, a bit thankful that his statement hadn’t triggered anything within the blonde.

“Yeah. I know.” It’s awkwardly silent for a moment until Bertholdt clears his throat loudly.

“Well, it was nice meeting you all but…I think we should start heading back. I have a quiz due later tonight and I’m sure Reiner has quite a bit of homework to do, right?” Bert rests a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder after standing. Reiner looks up at him with a smile.

“Yeah…” The blonde stands before shrugging on his coat and collecting his things. “We should totally get together again sometime soon though. See you guys around?”

Pieck and Marcel give the boys warm farewells but Porco just mumbles a quiet “Yeah, I guess”. They drop their plates off at the dish return before heading back to the dorm. Bertholdt sighs heavily when he feels his phone buzzing on their way back. He feels like he's got way too much on his plate right now. Not only does he have to worry about finals, but now he also needs to meet with Armin and Annie as well as Pieck and the other former warriors preferably before winter break. His phone buzzes twice more before they make it back.

Once he’s in the comfort of his own room, Bert hangs his coat over his desk chair and kicks off his shoes before slipping out of his jeans and climbing into bed. Reiner pouts slightly as he takes his own coat off. “I thought you had a quiz due tonight…” Bertholdt shrugs as he settles into the mattress.

“I do…just thought I’d take a nap first.” Reiner nods as he sits down at his desk and opens his laptop.

“Alright, do you want me to wake you up in a couple of hours?”

“Yes please.” Bert smiles before opening his messages. He has one each from Armin an Annie and a third from an unknown number.

“Unknown: Hey, it’s Pieck. We need to talk.” He doesn’t question how she got his number because he knows she has her ways. Bertholdt quickly adds her to his contacts before returning to the message.

“Agreed…what’s the plan?”

“Pieck: Well, I live in the all-girls dorm and the other two share a room across campus in the all-boys dorm so maybe just let me know when Reiner's gone and we can all meet there?” Bertholdt glances up at Reiner who is looking at his homework pretty intensely.

“Alright, I’ll keep you updated.” Bert drops his phone onto his stomach and sighs softly before rolling to his side. He stares at Reiner for a good minute before the blonde senses it and turns to look at him.

“What’s up?” Bertholdt smiles sweetly before propping himself up on an elbow.

“Nothing…you don’t need any help, do you?”  Reiner frowns slightly and eyes the assignment in front of him before shaking his head.

“No, I think I’ll be fine…I get three attempts so if it isn’t looking good after the first two, I’ll ask for help then.” He chuckles softly and Bertholdt nods as he lays back down.

“Okay, just let me know.”  Reiner hums softly in response.

“Thanks, Bertl. I don’t know what I did to deserve you…” The brunet smiles as he begins to fall asleep. Reiner didn’t do anything to deserve him and he never needs to. Bertholdt has always and will continue to love him just the way he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I think I make it painfully obvious what school I go to lol


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt shares information with Pieck & Friends

Bertholdt endures half of finals week before finally deciding to contact Pieck. He knows Reiner has two exams today before he’s finished for the week and he doesn’t think the blonde will be compelled to leave while he’s still here so it’s now or never. After texting Pieck to let her know that Reiner will be gone for a while, he opens his group chat with Annie and Armin. “Meeting with some old friends and then we can hang out.” Bert realizes that he hadn’t even told Annie about his recent encounter with the warriors and hesitates for a moment, his thumb hovering over the send button. He sighs softly before sending the message.

Annie had never really been too involved with the others and she would probably find more interest in the information they're able to provide than actually seeing them. He decides to keep it under wraps for the time being and if he had assumed wrong and she actually _does_ want to see the others then she can be mad at him later. To no surprise Armin replies first, having always been quick to respond. “He-Man: Alright, cool. Since we go to your place all the time I was thinking you guys could come to mine tonight, yeah?”

“What about Eren?” Bertholdt knows that Armin would never set him up but there’s always the off chance that Eren could drop by unannounced.

“He-Man: Don’t worry about him, he’s out of town right now.”

“Alright, yeah. You live in a single, right? So there's no roommate to worry about?”

“He-man: Right.”

“K.  I’ll let you know when I’m free :)” Armin responds with a thumbs up but Annie still hasn’t joined the conversation. She usually takes a while to respond so Bertholdt isn’t too worried. She’s a busy person and she'll reply when she gets around to it. Bert sets his phone aside and takes a moment to look around the room, wrinkling his nose up at the mess. It isn’t bad – it just looks lived in – but it could still be cleaner.

Bertholdt sighs before standing up and stretching. He starts by dusting a few crumbs off of his nightstand and into his hand before brushing them into the trashcan. He doesn’t even think about touching the disorganized mess of papers on Reiner's desk but he makes sure to pick up the pile of the blonde's dirty clothes. He rolls his eyes as he walks the measly two feet to drop them in the hamper. Bertholdt hums as he turns in his spot and almost decides that the room is clean enough for company until a hint of purple sticking out from beneath the bed catches his eye.

The brunet crouches down and quickly snatches what now appears to be a condom wrapper off of the floor before crinkling it up and tossing it into the trash, making sure that it’s hidden towards the bottom. He takes one last look at the room to make sure there’s nothing else present to embarrass him before taking a moment to check his phone. “Pieck: leaving now” The time stamp indicates that the message was sent over five minutes ago. Bert starts to estimate the amount of time it would take to walk from one dorm to the other when his phone buzzes in his hand. “Pieck: almost there if you can let us in”

Bert quickly smooths out the comforter before heading down to the lobby. He can feel the perspiration beginning to gather on the palms of his hands and attempts to dry them on his thighs. He hadn’t even realized he was nervous until now but perhaps that’s a good thing. If he had felt this apprehensive earlier he may have backed out of the meeting entirely. Bertholdt takes a deep breath as the elevator comes to a stop and the doors open.

Pieck and Marcel are waiting patiently on the bench outside of the main lobby with an irritated-looking Porco leaning against the wall. Bertholdt smiles and waves when they notice him and he's a bit surprised when Porco helps Pieck stand before helping her onto her crutches. He wonders what could've happened between now and the last time they met but his worry melts away when he remembers Reiner saying something about how she herniated a disc in a motocross accident.

It’s silent in the elevator on the way up and Bertholdt becomes more nervous when the silence drags on as they walk down the hall. He pushes the door open and steps aside to let his guests in. Pieck heads straight for the bed and drops her crutches to the floor with a clatter before flopping back with a sigh. Porco gives her an admonishing look before hissing through his teeth as he stands awkwardly beside his brother. “ _Pieck_ …show some courtesy…” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he shuts the door before turning to face the other warriors.

“Its fine, really. Is your back worse than usual?” Pieck groans before folding her arms behind her head.

“You have no idea.” Bertholdt smiles before turning to Marcel and Porco and gesturing to the chairs at each desk.

“Please, sit…o-or you can sit on the bed if you’d like. I don’t mind.” Marcel smiles in response and pulls a chair out to sit closer to the bed. Porco uncrosses his arms and stands up straight before reluctantly doing the same and Bertholdt wonders what it is that always has him in a sour mood. Bert rests a pillow against the wall before sitting on the bed, careful not to disturb Pieck's position and accidentally cause her any unnecessary discomfort. “So uhh, hi…again.” No one really knows how to start the conversation so the room is silent for a moment until Porco speaks up abruptly.

“So if you guys are roommates, why is there only one bed?” Bertholdt blushes slightly before nervously scratching behind his ear and Pieck props herself up slightly to look at her boyfriend before muffling a giggle with the back of her hand. Marcel turns to look at his brother in disbelief, astonished that it hadn’t clicked yet. Pieck returns to her prior position with a grin.

“Come on, Porco…you of all people should know what it means when two men share a bed.” Porco scowls at her before turning away and crossing his legs.

“Ugh, fuck off…I just didn’t know it was like that, okay?” Pieck raises an accusatory eyebrow at him. “I mean…I had a feeling but I wasn’t so sure. We didn’t talk about it much.” The strawberry blonde calms down and lowers his tone as he finishes speaking. Bertholdt is lost and he figures they’re talking about when they brought Ymir back. _But…that doesn’t make sense._ A spark of excitement flashes behind his eyes once he realizes that Reiner may have survived after all.

Bertholdt is somewhat surprised that Reiner and Porco would even be willing speak to each other given the ginger’s contempt for the other man but if Reiner had managed to get back home, circumstances between them may have changed. Bert clears his throat softly once he feels that the dust from the couple's quarrel had settled. “So uhh…what are we here to talk about? I-I mean…I know what we're here to talk about.” Bert chuckles nervously. “I guess what I really mean is how are we starting this?” Pieck hums softly before tilting her head back to look at the Brunet.

“Why don’t you start with your time on Paradis? We haven’t been able to locate Annie and Marcel obviously wasn’t much help.” She chuckles softly when Marcel sticks his tongue out at her. “And Reiner wasn’t really willing to talk about it…” Bertholdt sits up straighter before shifting closer to the woman lying at the end of the bed.

“S-so…Reiner really survived? _How_?” Pieck trades a look with the brothers before returning her attention to Bertholdt.

“We’ll get to that…Let’s just get things out of the way in chronological order, yeah? You can start with what happened after you lost Marcel.” Bert nods slowly in response.

“Umm…alright, so…we managed to escape and afterward Annie and I decided that a change in plans would be necessary. We wanted to return home straight away, having already suffered one casualty but Reiner refused…He didn’t want to return as a failure and he insisted we continue the mission with him as the leader.” Porco snorts softly but quickly looks away when Bertholdt turns to look at him.

“So we persevered and after we destroyed the outer wall we decided to lay low and blend into the crowds evacuating. The three of us posed as refugees and lived in a shelter with our…with our victims for about three months. After that, we bounced from place to place before settling down in a small village in the countryside. Annie would infiltrate the interior while we did manual labor.” Bertholdt pauses for a moment before taking a deep breath. Pieck gives him a slightly worried look.

“Do you need a break?” Bert is silent for a moment before shaking his head.

“Mm, no…I think I’ll be fine.”

“You’re sure?” The brunet nods slowly in response.

“Yeah…anyway umm…there was a guy at this settlement that confessed to leaving his three kids behind when he escaped from the titans…shortly after confessing his sins to us, he hung himself.” Bertholdt pauses for a moment as he leans back against the wall. “I couldn't figure out why he would tell us something like that before killing himself...unless he wanted someone to pass judgment on him...but something still seemed off. I suspect that Annie and Reiner murdered him because it wasn’t long after then that we managed to obtain documents…I kept telling myself that they were forged but I know now that it was only a partial truth.” Marcel hums softly before interrupting Bertholdt's account of past events.

“What was it like?”

“Hmm?” Bertholdt pulls himself from his memories to address Marcel.

“The island…inside the walls…what was it like?”

“Oh…umm…It was kind of primitive. Guns weren’t common and the clothing was uhh…vintage.” Bertholdt laughs softly. “The gear the military used was kind of cool though…think kind of like grappling hooks but attached to your hips.” Marcel hums softly before scooting closer.

“Military?”

“Ahh yeah well, after we obtained proper documentation Reiner insisted that joining the military would be the best move since all three of us would be able to infiltrate the interior. Annie challenged his decision at first but she ultimately gave in. After we joined the training regiment we claimed our spots within the top ten most skilled candidates. Reiner got closer to the others than Annie or I did…and then he decided we needed to attack again the night before graduation. But y’know, since we were also military we were required to fight off the titans we let in. During the battle, we started readjusting our plan and one of the other cadets overheard…so we killed him...and that’s when things really started going downhill.” He pulls his legs up and rests his chin on his knees as he takes a moment to compose himself.

“Reiner's personality split, the Rogue Titan appeared out of nowhere and ended up being Grisha Jaeger's son, Annie got captured with the help of said Titan, Zeke showed up, the titan that ate Marcel ended up being one of the other cadets, Reiner blew our cover but we ended up capturing Eren along with the carrier of the Jaws Titan, and then we ended up losing Eren before finding out he also had the coordinate and escaped before we could die.” Bertholdt takes a deep breath after finishing his rushed recap. “Sorry, a lot happened.” Pieck smiles faintly before reaching up to soothingly caress one of his hands. Bertholdt smiles back before resting his head against the wall. “And you know how the final battle went…” Bert is silent for a moment and his smile slowly grows bitter before shifting to a frown. “…you guys left me.”

Pieck sighs softly. “I’m sorry…I didn’t have much control over the situation.”

“I-its fine…I understand. It wasn’t possible to save both of us and Levi was already coming after Zeke again.” Porco looks to Bert with a hint of fear in his expression.

“I’m sorry but I don’t blame him for leaving your ass.” The strawberry blonde laughs nervously and Bertholdt laughs with him. Pieck sits up slowly with a wince before turning to smile at the man sitting at the other end of the bed.

“Porco here had a little bit of a run-in with the tiny terror himself.” Bert looks to Porco with curiosity.

“Oh?” The strawberry blonde shrugs before addressing his girlfriend.

“Looks like it’s your turn…you’re better at telling stories than I am...and I'm sure you probably know a little more than I do.” Pieck nods in response before slowly lowering herself to lay on her stomach.

“It took Reiner a while to recover but he pulled through. He kept asking about you but Zeke would just keep telling him that there wasn’t time to save you too. I’m sure he continued to convince himself that you were only just captured but Zeke and I knew that they had probably taken your power. It quickly became apparent that Reiner had also developed a pretty severe case of PTSD.” Bertholdt nods slowly. He had already figured that much.

“Did they strip him of his powers?” Pieck shakes her head.

“Surprisingly, no. It was a pretty controversial topic for a while. One side wanted someone more responsible to replace him but the other had argued that his sacrifices proved his loyalty to Marley and he ended up keeping the Armored Titan and was promoted to Vice Commander…but over the next four years he became careless. As time passed it became more evident that he didn’t value his own life.” Bertholdt’s breath catches in his throat. He hopes that Pieck isn’t saying what he thinks she’s saying. “We were assigned a mission to return to the island and retrieve the lost titans but we were ambushed by Jaeger and Co. Before we could deploy. Reiner disappeared right before the ambush and Porco and I were lured into a trap. We rushed into battle as soon as we could escape but Porco got cocky and I had to save him.”

“I swear I almost had him until that little fucker came along and sliced my mouth open! And I didn’t need your help!” Pieck snorts softly and Bertholdt watches on nervously as they begin to bicker again. He just wants to hear more, _needs_ to hear more…to hear what happened to Reiner but the sound of a key turning in the lock can be heard among all of the commotion. Porco and Pieck stop picking on each other to stare at the door along with Bert and Marcel. The knob turns hesitantly as if the person on the other side wasn’t expecting it to be unlocked.

Reiner steps in with a confused expression on his face but his eyes light up when he sees that his new friends are visiting. “Oh, hey! What’re you guys doing here?” Pieck sits up slowly and winces once she’s fully upright.

“We just dropped by to say hello and thought we'd wait for you to get home.” She smiles sweetly and tries to stand on her own but Porco rushes up to help her so she doesn’t hurt herself any further. Reiner sets his backpack down beside his desk before giving her a worried look as she hooks her arms over her crutches.

“Oh, damn…everything alright?” Pieck hums softly as she nods.

“Yeah, just a little worse than usual is all.” She starts to make her way over to Reiner but he closes the gap between them in order to reduce the strain on her body. She thanks him before balancing on one crutch to give him a side hug. “We're going to go ahead and head out since I don't think I'm in the proper condition to really do anything fun but we should really hang out together sometime soon.” Reiner nods as a friendly grin spreads across his face.

“Oh yeah, I’d love to…you know where to find me so just let me know. Just make sure you’re all healed up first, alright?” Pieck nods with a soft smile.

“Alright.” She repositions her crutch before limping to the door. Porco follows close behind her, mostly ignoring the blonde who had just entered and Marcel clasps him on the shoulder when he walks by, a hint of sadness in his expression. “See ya, bud.” When Marcel's hand makes contact with Reiner's shoulder, a dull pressure begins to settle behind the blonde's eyes. He furrows his brow in confusion as a dreadful feeling of familiarity sets in. A hint of fear flashes in Reiner's hazel eyes and Marcel quickly takes a step back.

“Yeah, see you later…” 

Bertholdt quickly ushers them out of the room. “I’ll lead them down…alright, Reiner? You just took two long exams. You should rest.” Reiner nods slowly. Bert leads the other warriors to the elevator lobby and speaks with them as they wait for the elevator to arrive. “So…I think it was already apparent that he hasn’t recovered his memories yet but…there’s this other _thing._ ” Pieck raises a curious eyebrow.

“Other thing?”

“He’ll see fragments…but he won’t understand what they are and he never pulls all the way through...I’m pretty sure that’s what just happened in there and we aren't sure what triggers it. Usually, it's something that reminds him of a memory.” The elevator dings, indicating that it has arrived and Porco helps Pieck board before stepping aside to make room for Marcel. Pieck holds the doors open with the leg of a crutch.

“It sounds like his mind is resisting the trauma…we’ll talk again soon, alright? There’s a lot more we need to discuss.” Bertholdt nods quickly before Pieck removes the crutch from the doorway.

“You know how to get ahold of me.” He turns his attention to the brothers and instructs them to get his phone number from Pieck before the doors have a chance to shut. He sighs heavily once they’ve left and nervously runs his hands through his hair as he walks back down the hall. Bertholdt is stressed out, he isn’t sure if he wants to find out what Reiner is doing on the other side of the door, and he’s definitely not sure if he wants to meet with Annie and Armin anymore. He carefully pushes the door open to find Reiner downing two ibuprofen with a glass of water.

The blonde gulps the whole glass down before turning to look at Bert with a wide grin. “Baby, you have no idea how much I missed you today.” Bertholdt chuckles softly as he closes the door behind him.

“You’ve only been gone for two hours, silly…”

“Yeah but…it was a _long_ two hours. Exams are stressful and before then I was distracted because I was studying so I’ve pretty much been checked out for the last six hours.” Bert steps behind his boyfriend and grasps his shoulders before kneading them gently.

“Alright, yeah. Understood.” He stops speaking for a moment as he continues to massage Reiner's shoulders. “Are you feeling alright?” Reiner hums softly as he turns to face the brunet before looping his arms around the other man's waist.

“Yeah, I’ve just got a headache but I’ll be fine…especially since you’re here now.” Bertholdt can’t keep himself from grinning as a faint blush settles into his cheeks. He pulls back a bit to look at Reiner lovingly, his stomach dropping when he tries to imagine him as Pieck had described. He finds the image hard to visualize but pulls the blonde closer in a tight embrace. Reiner presses close with a content hum. “Wanna go out tonight?” Bertholdt pulls back slightly as he starts to nervously chew his lip.

“Umm…I’d like to but I already told Annie and Armin I would hang out with them.” The brunet slowly pulls away before moving to retrieve his phone from the nightstand. Reiner pouts slightly when his boyfriend breaks their embrace. “Give me a second…”

“You don’t need to cancel your plans for me, Bertl. We can do it another time.” Bert hums softly as he checks his messages.

“Its fine, Reiner. They weren’t really ‘plans’ either, just something we decided  to do last minute. And besides, we haven’t been on a date for a while so I think they’ll understand.” He frowns at his phone slightly.  Still no texts from Annie. He almost wonders if she’s out and her phone died. Bert opens up the group chat to type out a quick message: “Don’t know if we should still talk tonight, not feeling too well.” He slips his phone into his back pocket before sitting on the edge of the bed to face Reiner. “What did you have in mind?” Reiner shrugs before crossing the room to sit beside his boyfriend.

“We could do dinner…and you know I like looking at Christmas stuff.” Bertholdt smiles softly before resting his head on Reiner's shoulder.

“Yeah, alright. That sounds nice.” It’s peacefully silent for a moment and Bertholdt feels calm for the first time in hours.

“Ma wants you over again. For Christmas, I mean.” Bert hums softly as he laces his fingers with Reiner’s.  _Well, so much for calming down._

“Yeah?” Reiner gently squeezes the brunet’s hand when he feels him go rigid.

“You don’t have to, Bertl…I know how it makes you feel and I don’t want to stress you out any more than you already are.”

“No, it’s fine…I’ll do it for you. And it isn’t _that_ bad, really. I just don’t like sneaking around her.”

“Yeah, I know…I promise I’ll fix that soon.” Bertholdt smiles somewhat sadly, knowing that it’s a false promise.

“Not until you’re ready, okay?” Reiner chuckles softly before turning to plant a firm kiss on Bert's forehead.

“I’ll never be ready for as long as I live but I’ll do it for you…for us, okay?” The taller man hums softly with a nod before Reiner stands and pulls him up with the hand that had already been connecting them. “Now come on…Let’s go get something fancy to eat.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on the cute date that they deserve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quietly posts chapter because I forgot to do it this morning when I got off work*

Reiner's idea of a fancy dinner had been all you can eat pancakes at IHOP, not that Bert really minded. He's always appreciative of the things that Reiner does for him and it was way better than anything they would’ve gotten at any of the dining courts. After filling up on pancakes smothered in sticky syrup they had decided to head downtown to do some window shopping while admiring the Christmas lights strung from every building, tree, and light post in sight. Window shopping had soon turned into actual shopping when a green sweater hanging in the window of a small boutique had caught Bertholdt's eye. Reiner came out of the ordeal with a mini Polaroid camera that he had impulse bought from the electronics store next door.

They’re still downtown when the blonde starts badgering his boyfriend for a picture together. Bertholdt pouts slightly, feeling somewhat guilty for continuously rejecting such a simple request. “Come on, Bertl… _please_.”

“Reiner…I don’t like how I look in pictures…or really in general. You know that.” Reiner shifts a bit closer as they walk down the sidewalk.

“Baby, you are _so_ handsome and _so_ perfect and I know you don’t think it’s true but it is so you’re just going to have to accept it.” Reiner crosses his arms and pokes his tongue out and Bertholdt finds it almost impossible not to smile. A grin breaks his stern expression when Reiner nudges him with an elbow. “Please…we don’t have any pictures together.” Bert hums softly in response before furrowing his brow in mild confusion.

“What about the one my mom keeps on the mantle of the fireplace?” Reiner stops to give the brunet a look of equal confusion.

“Your mom keeps a picture of us on the mantle of the fireplace?” Bertholdt smiles with a faint nod.

“Yeah, it was from one of the times you came over to play when we were younger. Back when you were missing pretty much half of your teeth. We were all muddy because I think we were looking for frogs when she took it.” Reiner's eyes light up with recognition.

“Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that one.” A goofy grin spreads across his face before he slips his hand into Bert's. The taller man responds to the gesture with a smile.

“Yeah, I think I would’ve too if she hadn’t have kept it up for all those years.” Reiner is silent for a moment.

“…even after you moved?” Bert hums softly in response before shrugging.

“Yeah, she missed you being around…and I kind of enjoyed catching glimpses of it every once in a while.” The brunet smiles faintly and turns to look at Reiner when the blonde's hand tightens around his own.

“Bertl…” Bertholdt sighs softly before squeezing his boyfriend's hand.

“Reiner, you better not be apologizing again.” Reiner huffs softly in response.

“But…” Bert starts to tug his boyfriend along as the other man begins to slow down.

“No 'buts'.” The brunet speeds up a bit more before Reiner finally tries to keep up with him. “Come on, I have an idea.” Reiner holds back a laugh as he breaks into a light jog.

“Hey! Where are you taking me?” Bertholdt turns back to him with a wide smile.

“…to get that picture you wanted.”  Bert comes to a full stop in front of the large Christmas tree at the center of town before tilting his head up to admire it. “Here.” Reiner looks up at the tree before looking at the brunet.

“Here?” Bertholdt nods and situates himself beside Reiner as the shorter man fiddles with the camera in his gloved hands. “You don’t have to, Bertl…I don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with just because it’s something I want.”

“No, I want to. I promise.” Reiner smiles faintly before slowly nodding.

“You’re sure?” The brunet nods in response before taking a step closer. Reiner huddles against his boyfriend before raising the camera. “Ready?” Bert responds with a soft “yeah” and Reiner grins wide before clicking the button, trying not to blink when the flash hits his eyes. The undeveloped photo pops out of the front of the camera and the blonde retrieves it before holding it close to his body, hoping it doesn’t develop oddly due to the colder temperature. He carefully tucks it into his coat pocket to keep it warm before turning to Bert with a smile. “How do you feel about taking another?” The taller man shrugs slightly.

“I don’t see why it would be a problem.” He turns to Reiner with a grin and that’s when the blonde takes a moment to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth before pressing the button. Reiner pulls away with a large grin when Bertholdt takes a step back, eyes wide with surprise. Sure, PDA isn’t really new territory for them but usually it’s just holding hands or brushing lightly against each other as they walk side-by-side. Reiner has never even dared to kiss him in public, having always been paranoid about his mother somehow finding out. The camera spits out the image and Reiner takes it carefully before grabbing Bert's hand.

“Come on, let's head someplace warmer to see how these develop.” Bertholdt simply nods as he follows Reiner, allowing the blonde to pull him along to wherever he decides to go. They stop inside a small bakery and sit at a table in the back corner. Reiner lays the second photo flat on the table before pulling the first from his pocket and laying it beside the other. He shrugs his coat off of his shoulders and hangs it over the back of his chair before working his gloves off. “Would you like a hot chocolate?” Bertholdt nods with a small smile. “Anything else?”

“Are you getting anything?” Reiner hums softly.

“Thought about it.”

“Umm…then yeah. Maybe just a muffin or something.” The brunet watches the photos begin to develop as he waits for Reiner to return. He’s back in a few minutes, humming softly as he sets the drinks and treats on the table.

“I wasn’t sure what extras you wanted so it has whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles on top.” Bert smiles softly before peeking under the lid.

“That’s perfect, thank you.” Reiner slides the photos closer to himself after sitting down, grinning wide after getting a closer look. Each photo has a light blueish tint to it due to partially developing in freezing temperatures but it doesn't make the pictures look bad. He points to the second one he had taken.

“I really like this one.” Bertholdt nods in agreement as he sips on his hot chocolate.

“It’s cute.” Reiner looks at it lovingly before taking a bite out of one of his cookies.

“Would you like one of them?” Bert sits up straight before fidgeting slightly.

“U-umm…are you sure? They’re yours and I know the film for those isn’t really cheap…”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Go ahead and pick which one you want and you can have it.” Bertholdt nods slowly before leaning forward. He can tell how much Reiner likes the second one so he presses a finger to the first before sliding it across the table. He smiles at Reiner before slipping the picture into his wallet. When he looks up, Reiner is still staring at him. “When are you going home for winter break?” Bert hums softly after taking a small bite of his muffin and washing it down with a sip of hot chocolate.

“Mom's coming to pick me up tomorrow. Why?” Reiner pouts slightly.

“I wanted to take you home.” Bertholdt chuckles softly before sliding his hand across the table to slip it into Reiner's hand.

“I'll let you bring me back to campus, alright?” The blonde smiles as he curls his hand around Bert's, humming contently.

“Alright, yeah. I can do that. I’m going to miss you sooooo much though…” The blonde dramatically throws himself against the back of his chair. "I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." Bertholdt chuckles softly before giving Reiner an amused look.

“You always miss me when I’m not around. We can still hang out over break…and I’ll see you next week at your mom's for that Christmas thing, right?”

“Hmm, yeah. Right.” Reiner smiles at the picture one last time before slipping it into his wallet. Bertholdt drinks the rest of his hot chocolate and finishes his muffin before brushing his hands off and standing.

“Come on, let’s head back. I need to take a shower tonight but after that, I was thinking we could watch a movie and snuggle. How’s that sound?” Reiner stands and pulls his arms through the sleeves of his coat before sliding his gloves back over his hands and giving his boyfriend a warm smile.

“Sounds nice...let’s head out.”

 

* * *

 

So far, it’s only been three days since Bert had left for home and Reiner has made sure to text him every day at least twice a day to remind him about how much he misses him. That’s excluding regular conversation and the two times Reiner has tried (and failed) to sext him. It's not that Bertholdt has any problem with it, he’s just a little too shy to tell Reiner the things he wants to do in complete detail. However, despite the blonde's recent shenanigans, Bert has only received a single “Morning, Baby <3” today and nothing else.

Bertholdt sighs heavily and drops his phone onto his stomach after checking through every social media platform for the thousandth time. He rubs his eyes tiredly as he rolls onto his side and stretches. It’s only noon but the day is going by slow. Usually he would be hanging out with his parents in the living room but they’ve left for Bert's mother's Christmas work party at the hospital. Bertholdt opted out of it this year in favor of hanging around the house in his underwear and a t-shirt – in his opinion, a much better option than getting dressed up to go to a party and talk to people that he barely knows. He digs in the bag of Reese’s cups on his nightstand and unwraps another before popping it into his mouth to let it melt.

Bertholdt jumps slightly when his phone begins to buzz. He scrambles for it but his excitement fades when he notices it’s only his mother calling. “Hey, mom. What's up?”

“Hi sweetie, just checking in. Still doing alright?” Bertholdt hums softly before looking at the pile of foil wrappers that have accumulated on his nightstand.

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

“Alright…if you get hungry you can order something and I’ll send you the money for it. Call me if you need anything and let me know if you go out anywhere, alright?”

“Alright…bye mom, love you.”

“Love you too, honey. Buh-bye.” Bertholdt hangs up and drops his phone beside him with another exasperated sigh. He sits up before gathering all of the wrappers and tossing them into the trash can beside his nightstand. He then uses his laptop to order a medium cheese pizza from their usual pizzeria before straightening out his room. The doorbell rings about ten minutes later. _That was quick_. The brunet leaves his room and grabs his wallet off of the kitchen counter on his way to the front door.

“Coming!” He fishes through a pocket full of loose coins in search of exact change before opening the door to find Reiner standing on the other side instead of the pizza delivery driver. “Reiner…what…?” The blonde fidgets nervously, his eyes downcast to the welcome mat on the patio. He sighs and drops his arms to his sides before finally looking up to meet Bertholdt's confused gaze.

“Hey, uhh…can…can I crash here for a little bit?”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events prior to Reiner's sudden appearance at Bert's door

After Bertholdt had left for home, Reiner decided it would be a good idea to invite Pieck over to study for their physics exam. He let her know that her friends were more than welcome as well. He admittedly enjoys picking on Porco quite a bit and he’s been curious to figure out why Marcel looks so hauntingly familiar. Pieck had shown up without either of the boys and Reiner finds himself a bit disappointed. Their study session hadn’t lasted as long as he had wanted and he soon finds himself alone once again.

Reiner sighs softly, having always hated being by himself. He ends up taking a short nap to burn time before heading to his exam. The blonde decides to go home after his exam, having no real reason to stay on campus once everything is said and done. He had called his mother before leaving to let her know he’s on his way home and since the roads had iced over due to the heavy snow they had received a few days ago, he knows she'll be worrying the entire time. It seems Reiner’s assumption was correct because he can vaguely make out his mother's silhouette lingering between the curtains of the living room window when he pulls into the driveway.

She greets him at the door with a smile and a hug before taking his bags from his arms and helping him carry his things upstairs. “Ma, hey…your leg might be better but I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Karina can get around mostly on her own now and she only uses her crutches on days that her leg feels weak but she’s more than enthusiastic to be able to do things on her own again.

“Oh don’t worry about me, sweetie. I’m feeling better than ever. Not even a single ache this time!” Reiner smiles softly when they reach the top of the stairs before gently patting his mother on the back.

“I’m glad you're getting better…is this the first time you’ve walked on it without any aches? I know last time I was home you could only go short distances.” His bedroom door is open and he thinks it’s somewhat odd since he always keeps it closed but if Karina is up and about then she's probably been in to tidy up when he was gone.

“It isn’t too bad if I’m easy on it.” Reiner sets his duffel bag down against the wall and starts to unbutton his coat as he crosses the room to his desk. Karina sets his backpack down beside the duffel and wrings her hands as she waits for him to finish hanging his coat over the back of his chair. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten anything yet?” Reiner hums softly as he turns to look at his mother with a warm smile.

“No, I haven’t. Did you have something planned?” Karina steps out into the hall and Reiner follows her out before closing the door behind him.

“Just spaghetti. I know it isn’t really anything extravagant but I’m trying to use up what's left in the pantry before we go grocery shopping again.” Karina stumbles slightly on her way down the stairs and Reiner lunges to catch her before she has the chance to fall or twist an ankle.

“Hey, careful…” His mother thanks him and hangs onto his arm for support as they walk down the remainder of the staircase. “I’d like to help out with dinner if it’s alright with you…I’ve really missed you, Ma.” Karina may have already crossed the “nosy and overbearing” mother line but Reiner would be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy being around her. Lately, he's found himself missing her more than not and has been feeling like somewhat of an ungrateful son for not visiting her as often. Karina smiles sweetly before taking a step away from Reiner to head into the kitchen without help. The blonde follows his mother closely just in case he needs to catch her again.

“Do you want mashed potatoes this time?” Reiner grins wide as he reaches into the cabinet beside the stove to get the large pot that they always use for spaghetti.

“Of course…its been a while since we've done that. I almost thought you had forgotten…” Although it seems weird to everyone else, Reiner has always enjoyed eating his spaghetti on top of a mound of mashed potatoes. It was a meal that Karina used to make when they were short on money since it was cheap, quick, and filling. It had grown on him and Reiner would take a mountain of freshly mashed potatoes topped with a heavy helping of spaghetti over a five-star meal any day.

Karina leans her body weight on the counter as she directs her son to start peeling and chopping potatoes before throwing them in a pot to boil. Reiner can feel his mother's eyes on him and starts to feel a bit more nervous as he gets dinner going. _Why on Earth is she still looking at me?_ The blonde takes a quick peek at the woman behind him to find that she still hasn’t looked away. Reiner finishes peeling and cutting all of the potatoes before dropping them into a pot and filling it with water. He’s getting more nervous but tries not to let it show, knowing that she'll be able to pick up on it in a heartbeat.

Reiner sets the pot on the largest burner closest to the wall and turns the heat up to high before turning to face his mother. She’s smiling at him happily, like a mother who's missed her son, and Reiner starts to feel a little guilty for getting nervous. _Alright, stop being so paranoid. You’re not home that often and she just misses you._ He smiles back and steps aside when she brings the spaghetti pot full of water over to boil. “Alright, the water for the noodles should be done when the potatoes are finished cooking. Do you want to prepare the spaghetti or mash the potatoes?” Reiner hums softly before giving his mother a faint smile.

“I’ll mash the potatoes.” Karina had always let him do it for her when he was younger and enjoyed helping her in the kitchen. Reiner had stopped helping her with dinner about a year into high school and he isn’t sure whether it was because he had just gotten too busy with friends and extracurriculars or if it was because his friends had thought that loving your mom made you gay. The feeling of guilt returns but this time it isn’t just because he feels like he's been neglecting his mother. Reiner realizes he's been quiet for some time now when Karina clears her throat.

“So, how's Krista been doing lately?” In all honesty, Reiner isn’t really sure. The last time he had seen her was when he and Bert had borrowed the house. His heart skips a beat and he wonders if he should just come clean now. The other side of him quickly takes over.

“She’s doing pretty well…She’s got a really great GPA right now but you know how good she’s always been at keeping her grades up. She's also thinking about looking for a summer job that’ll let her work part-time through the school year.” Karina smiles as Reiner finishes speaking, happy with what she's heard.

“Well, tell her I’m proud of her and that I wish her luck. She’s still coming for Christmas, yeah?” Krista had agreed to it the last time he had checked but now that the get-together is only a week away, he should probably remind her again.

“Yeah, last time I checked she said she was.”

“And her cousin and Bertholdt?” Reiner smiles before humming softly.

“Yeah, they’re coming too.”

“Good. He’s a nice boy. I’m glad you’ve got a friend like him.” Reiner nods and tries not to make his goofy smile too apparent as he starts to think about his boyfriend. He hears the water come to a rolling boil behind him and Karina crosses the kitchen with the box of spaghetti. Reiner steps out of the way to watch her as he waits for the potatoes to boil for a few minutes. He gets a strainer out of the cabinet beside him and sets it in the bottom of the sink before turning the burner off and grabbing the handle of the pot. He carefully slides the pot across the stove before making the short trip to the sink to drain it.

Reiner shakes the strainer a few times before pouring the potatoes back into the pot and adding some milk with a bit of butter. He starts to mash them with a potato masher before setting the pot on top of a hot pad on the counter. Reiner gets two plates out of the cabinet and steps aside for his mother when she places the pot of drained spaghetti beside the pot of potatoes before pouring a jar of sauce over the noodles. She stirs the pot well before dismissing herself to the bathroom for a moment.

Reiner serves himself before sitting at his usual spot at the dinner table. Karina returns shortly and fills up her own plate before sitting across from him. Reiner eats his dinner in blissful silence, happy to have a home-cooked meal after going so long without one. He only lives across town from campus so he could come home more often if he wanted to but he’s a little scared that his mother might try to guilt him into living at home again instead of on campus. It isn’t that he wouldn’t like to, he would just miss the independence that living in a dorm gives him.

Karina hums softly as she takes her last bite of food before looking at her son who has pasta sauce all over his face. She smiles sweetly before sliding a napkin towards him. Reiner takes it with a smile before wiping off his mouth. He balls the napkin up and rests it on his plate as Karina fishes through her pocket for something.

Reiner had been expecting her to pull out a mint or a little bottle of hand sanitizer but he certainly hadn’t been prepared for her to pull out an unopened condom before tossing it down on the table between them. She's looking at him with cold eyes and Reiner quickly becomes nervous. He isn’t sure what’s going on but he doesn’t like it. “So…I found this when I was cleaning your room yesterday.” Reiner nods slowly as he tries to make himself look calm even though he's panicking inside. “Care to explain?” He relaxes his shoulders before shrugging casually.

“I’m not sure how it got there.” Karina hums softly before crossing her arms. She isn’t buying it. Reiner tries to lighten the mood by laughing softly. “One of my friends must’ve slipped it into my bag as a joke and it must’ve slipped out last time I was home.” She nods slowly but still looks skeptical. “You know how boys are.” Karina smiles politely. He isn’t sure if she bought it but at least she'll get off of his back for now.

“Ahh…I’m sorry I blamed you. But I’m sure you understand the consequences of premarital sex…” Reiner nods as his mother stands to throw away the object in question.

“Yes, Ma.” She had made that much clear when she had given him the “talk”. An eternity in hell, venereal diseases, and unplanned pregnancies are the only things that you can get from premarital sex. She would know because that’s how he happened. Reiner stands to collect the dirty dishes and rinses them off before setting them down in the sink. “I’m going to go ahead and head upstairs, alright?”

“Alright, sweetie. I’ll let you know if I need anything…I love you.” Reiner stops at the bottom of the stairs to turn and look to his mother with a smile.

“Love you too, Ma.” The blonde pulls his phone out of his pocket on his way up the stairs to find a text from Bertholdt.

“Bertl<3<3<3: Make it home alright?”

“Yeah, got here about two hours ago.” Bertholdt replies almost immediately. He must've been waiting for a response.

“Bertl<3<3<3: Good. How’s it been so far? :)” Reiner closes his bedroom door behind himself before flopping back on the bed.

“Ehhhhh alright I guess.”

“Bertl<3<3<3: Uh-oh…whats up?”

“Nothing much. Ma made my favorite meal and got me comfortable before confronting me about a condom she found in my room when she was 'cleaning' or y'know, snooping”

“Bertl<3<3<3: Ahh…you aren’t in trouble are you?”

“Not that I know of. I lied to her about it but I still think she’s suspicious.”

“Bertl<3<3<3: Just try to be a little careful, okay?”

“Yeah, I planned on doing my best…she threw it away, Bertl :(“

“Bertl<3<3<3: lol I’m sorry???”

“We could’ve used that :(((( or maybe I could've put it on you this time ;)“

“Bertl<3<3<3: Reiner please tell me you are not trying to do this right now.”

“What? You don’t wanna switch? ;^)” Reiner grins as he rolls onto his side. He knows what he’s doing and Bertholdt is either really flustered right now or really fed up with his antics.

“Bertl<3<3<3: that’s not it…just don’t think you should be trying to get into something like this right after a confrontation with your mother” _Ahh, fed up_.

“Alright…I guess you’re right.” After a few more minutes of back and forth, Bertholdt announces that he's about to help his mother around the house and they'll have to talk again later. Reiner responds with a sweet goodbye with lots of hearts before dropping his phone onto his chest with a sigh. It isn’t going to be easy tiptoeing around his mother for these next few weeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Reiner returns from a day out with Connie to discover that his mother is nowhere to be found. He quietly takes a trip down to the basement for a quick toke before spraying himself with some mellow cologne and heading back up the stairs. He can feel the relaxing warmth of his high work its way into his cheeks as he slowly makes his way up to the second floor to change into a loose tee and a pair of sweats before tossing his clothes in his overflowing hamper. He tugs it down the stairs and ends up leaving it in the doorway of the laundry room when the fridge starts calling to him.

He makes himself a pretty thick sandwich and pours a tall glass of orange juice before walking into the living room to sit in the recliner beside the couch. It dawns on him that maybe he should’ve used some eye drops just in case his mother shows up but he shrugs the thought off. He should be fine since his eyes don’t get bloodshot too easily. Reiner finishes his sandwich and chugs his orange juice before sitting back as he tries to remember what he was about to do. He starts to doze off a bit when the sound of his mother coming home startles him awake.

The blonde rubs his dry and heavy eyes before standing when he hears the sound of grocery bags. He speaks up as he heads toward the sound. “Need some help, Ma?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m fine.” Reiner comes closer and touches her elbow lightly before taking most of the bags from her.

“Nahh, I’ve got ya.” Karina thanks him softly as he makes his way to the kitchen. She takes a moment to take off her shoes and hang up her coat and scarf before walking down the hall to meet him, only stopping when she sees his hamper in the doorway of the laundry room.

“Hey, do you want me to do your laundry? I know that’s a luxury you don’t get any more.” Reiner chuckles softly as he unpacks the groceries and puts them away.

“If you want to then yeah, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.” Reiner pulls a box of Samoas out of the last bag and quickly opens them before grabbing a handful of cookies and heading back to his spot on the recliner. It’s quiet for a moment until his mother hesitantly calls his name. He can hear her footsteps coming in his direction and her tone makes him think that maybe he should be a little worried. She steps into the living room a bit flustered before her eyes finally fall on him.

“What’s this?” She holds out the picture he had taken with Bertholdt the week before and he gives her a stunned look.

“I-I uhh…I can explain.” It’s hard for his mind to get ahold of itself in his somewhat less-than-sober state.

“Oh yeah? It better be a damn good explanation this time.” Reiner winces when his mother curses. He's never heard her do it before and it comes as a shock. Reiner hesitantly holds his hand out for the picture and Karina reluctantly gives it to him. He doesn’t want to lose it if things keep going south.

“Umm…we’re um…yeah. I’m in a relationship with Bertholdt.” Karina shakes her head. She looks disappointed but she hasn’t gone off on him yet which he sees as a good sign. _But how many times have you actually seen her angry?_

“I’m sorry, I just…I can’t believe this. Are you....?” His mother finds it hard to speak.

“Ma, I’m gay.” It had come easier than he thought it would and although he's still nervous about his mother's reaction, he feels a little more empowered. Karina sits on the armrest of the couch before rubbing her temples. She looks stressed.

“What about Krista? How could you do this to her?”

“She’s gay too.” Karina gives him a blank stare until it finally clicks; they’ve been covering for each other for all this time.  She blows an exasperated sigh through her nose before finally looking up at her son.

“I’m disappointed in you.” Reiner knew it was coming but he still wasn’t prepared for how much it had hurt. It hurts to see her like this but it isn’t like he could change the way he is even if he wanted to. “But don’t worry…there are still ways to fix this. I don’t know how far into this lifestyle you are but I’m sure the pastor will know what to do.” She stands up before heading towards the front door. “Come on, I’ll take you.” Reiner stands to give her an astonished look but he doesn’t move towards her.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Yes. Come on the faster we get there, the faster we can fix this.” Karina already has her coat on and Reiner stares at her in disbelief as his frustration builds.

“Are you kidding me? I don’t…I don’t need to be _fucking_ fixed.” His mother drops her keys in surprise at his choice of language in addition to the venom dripping from his voice. He hates to talk to her like this but he fears that he'll never get through to her if he doesn’t.

“Are you saying you want to stay that way?”

“Yeah, of course I do. I’m happy and I’m not going to change myself just because _you_ want me to.” He watches as his mother takes a few deep breaths, seemingly trying to calm herself.

“You know what, I don’t care if you smoke pot in the basement and I don’t care if you have sex out of wedlock because that’s a sin even I've committed but this…this is unacceptable. You can’t repent for something like this. It- It's disgusting…and unnatural. It goes against God’s will.” Reiner runs a hand through his hair before dropping his arm back to his side. He hadn’t known that she already knew about the basement but he isn’t too surprised since he apparently can’t keep anything a secret from her. “This is all your father's fault…if he were around to raise you then this never would've happened.”

Reiner curls his lip up in disgust. It’s been a while since she’s blamed his father for something he isn’t even associated with but he’s always hated it. Even if he’s never met the man responsible for his existence, he still doesn’t think it’s fair to blame him for things that are out of his hands. “Yeah, well maybe it’s a good thing he left so he didn’t have to see his son turn out to be a fucking fag.” Karina winces as the slur leaves his lips and he'd be lying if he said it didn’t hurt him to say it. Reiner stares at the ground for a moment before factory resetting his phone and leaving it on the coffee table. “Fuck this, I’m leaving.”

He pushes his way past Karina to slide his shoes on as she stands stunned in the middle of the hallway. Reiner grabs his coat off of the rack rather forcefully and Karina turns to look at him with tears forming in her eyes. “Reiner, wait-“

“Don’t.” Reiner cuts her off before swiping his wallet from the laundry room and grabbing his keys off of the table. He won’t look at her like this, can't if he wanted to because he knows he'll break if he does and then he might be compelled to stay. Reiner rushes out the door and to his car. Karina chases him out but stops at the porch, accepting that there’s nothing she can really do to make him stay.

Reiner speeds off without even thinking about where he’s going to go but no one even crosses his mind other than Bertholdt. That’s the only person he wants right now, even if he's forty-five minutes away. Reiner feels his breath start to hitch in his throat and he holds back a sob. He won’t let himself cry, not yet, because if he started now he wouldn’t be able to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi chapter 103 killed me so here I am to cause a little more suffering for this sweet man


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bertholdt tries to help Reiner deal with his new problem

“Hey, uhh…can…can I crash here for a little bit?”

Bertholdt ushers Reiner in from the cold and rubs his shoulders soothingly as he helps him remove his coat, not missing how puffy and red the blonde’s eyes are. “Yes, yes. Of course you can. What's up, baby? What’s wrong?” The fact that Reiner hadn’t texted him before coming over and had arrived with nothing except for the clothes on his back tells Bert that this can’t be good. Reiner simply shrugs before leaning into his boyfriend's touch.

“I fucked up.” Reiner shakes his head and Bert thinks he can see his lip wobble. “Oh god, I really fucked up Bertl.”

“Reiner…what happened?”

“Ma knows about us…guess I wasn’t that careful, huh?” Bert nods slowly. He figured that was the case. The brunet tightens his arms around his boyfriend when he feels him shudder before slowly backing away to pull him to the living room.

“Come on, let’s talk in the living room.” Bertholdt stops off in the kitchen to grab a bottle of red wine from the rack along with a glass for himself. “Do you want any?” He knows that drinking isn’t a very good way to cope but he’ll let Reiner indulge in it just this once. Reiner lingers in the kitchen doorway, still clearly upset but at least willing to answer.

“You won’t get in trouble?” Bert shrugs as he turns to look at the blonde.

“My parents don’t mind as long as I'm responsible.” Reiner nods slowly before hesitantly agreeing.

“Yeah, I’ll have some.” Bertholdt grabs a second glass before leading Reiner to the living room and setting the bottle and glasses down on the coffee table. He sits on the couch and gently pats the spot beside him, directing Reiner to sit. Bert pops the cork out of the bottle and pours a modest serving of wine into each glass as Reiner sits slowly. The blonde nervously wipes the palms of his hands against his thighs before shifting uncomfortably.

“Do you need a second?” Reiner nods slowly in response.

“Can I just rest for a bit?”

“Yes, of course. Take all the time you need.” Reiner slowly shifts to rest his head in his boyfriend's lap before stretching his legs out across the remainder of the couch. Bertholdt allows his hand to rest on his boyfriend's forehead before sliding it up to run his fingertips through his hair. The brunet swipes through a couple more times and Reiner hums softly before pressing his head into the touch.

“She didn’t kick me out if that’s what you’re wondering.” Bert pushes out a breath he hadn’t known he'd been holding.

“Oh thank God.”

“But….” Reiner gives himself a moment to collect his thoughts. “...I think I’ve decided that I’m not going to go back.” He pauses for a moment before clarifying. “B-but I wasn’t expecting to just be able to stay here…just for tonight. The girls will probably let me have their extra room if I pick up my share of the expenses.” Bertholdt nods slowly. He knows his parents wouldn’t have any qualms about his boyfriend moving in with them, especially with it being Reiner, but he isn’t sure if Reiner would be comfortable with it. He seems to be a lot more comfortable with the girls but if he moved into the Hoover residence he wouldn’t need to pick up any extra expenses. Bert decides he'll talk to him about it later.

“I guess it must’ve been pretty bad then…for you to not want to go back…” The brunet leans forward to take a sip from his glass before setting it back down. Reiner sits up slowly when he remembers his own glass waiting for him on the table. He takes small sips at first and gives the man beside him a side eye that reads as “don’t judge me” before downing the remainder of his alcohol. Bertholdt cocks an eyebrow as he watches the blonde refill his glass nearly to the rim. Reiner takes another large gulp before sinking back into the couch.

“Yeah, kinda.” The blonde hums softly as he settles back in, noticeably more comfortable than earlier.

“You wanna start from the beginning?” Reiner nods in response as he cradles the bowl of his glass against his stomach.

“I went out with Connie earlier today and accidentally left my wallet in my pocket when I changed clothes. I tossed my jeans into the hamper and left it in the laundry room and then forgot about it. Ma came home and offered to wash my clothes for me and then she ended up finding my wallet and well, you know how she is…” Bert nods slowly. He knows what Reiner means. _Nosy_. “She found that picture we took last week.” Reiner brings his glass to his lips and stares straight ahead as he sips a bit off the top. He's calmer than Bert would’ve thought he'd be but the brunet knows it’s probably just an act to hide his emotions.

“How’d she react?” Reiner shrugs slightly before leaning over to rest his head on Bert's shoulder.

“Not well…she was kind of angry…told me she was disappointed.” Bertholdt frowns slightly. He knows how much it hurts to hear that someone is disappointed in you and he’d take anger over disappointment any day of the week. Reiner pauses for a moment before sighing softly. “She wanted to…to umm…’fix’ me. Tried to get me to go to the pastor…and when I told her I didn’t need to be fixed she started going off on a religious tangent.” Bert pulls his boyfriend's head to his chest and cradles it for a moment before sliding his long fingers through his hair.

“Baby, I’m sorry that it turned out this way. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that…” Reiner smiles bitterly and pulls away to down the rest of his wine and abandon his empty glass on the table before returning to the brunet’s comforting embrace.

“I left when she brought dad into it. Like if he had somehow stuck around, I wouldn’t have turned out like this.” Reiner sits up once more, obviously restless as he pours another full glass of wine before drinking it down quickly. He finally lays back down to rest his head in his boyfriend's lap with a sigh. Bert smiles faintly before allowing his hands to run over Reiner's back soothingly.

“You didn’t bring anything with you?” The blond shakes his head in response.

“Nothing…even reset my phone and left it with her.” Bert frowns slightly.

“Reiner…you could’ve at least given her a way to know that you're safe.” Reiner shakes his head once more.

“She'd probably use it to track me or something. She's crafty. She'll eventually find a way to figure out where I’m at and how I’m doing.” He shrugs before shoving his face into Bert's stomach. Bertholdt stays silent, not sure how to respond. He feels the hem of his shirt rise slightly and cocks an eyebrow at the man in his lap as he continues to push it up with his nose.

“Reiner, what are you- ahh!” Reiner had managed to push the taller man’s shirt up far enough to blow a raspberry on his stomach. Bert doubles over with a laugh and feels the blonde's arms lock around him before receiving another raspberry. He slips his fingers beneath his boyfriend's arms and wiggles as he attempts to pull them off. Bert takes a moment to catch his breath after finally slipping onto the floor and out of Reiner's grasp. The other man is giving him a toothy grin from the couch. Bertholdt stands quickly before his boyfriend has another chance to get ahold of him and quickly swipes the bottle from the coffee table with an accusatory glance. “I think you’ve had enough.”

The brunet raises an eyebrow at the unexpected lightness of the bottle and holds it up to the light to inspect it. There’s a little bit of wine left in the bottom of the bottle and he tips it back to drink what's left on his way to the kitchen. He sets the empty bottle on the counter with a soft sigh. It hadn’t been a full bottle when they had started but he’s still surprised that they, or rather Reiner, had managed to finish it off. After a moment, Bertholdt decides it’s safe to return to the living room. He leans over the back of the couch to find Reiner laying flat on his back. His eyes look a little wet and he pouts when Bertholdt comes into view. “You left me.” Bert chuckles softly in response.

“I just went to put the empty bottle away.” A few tears slide down the blonde's cheeks and Bert knows that he isn’t only upset about his recent departure to the other room.

“Fuck…” Reiner wipes at his face with an arm before sniffling softly. “…what am I gonna do, Bertl?” Bertholdt frowns slightly before walking around the couch to sit beside his boyfriend's feet. He takes one into his hands and hums softly as he massages it gently.

“I’m not sure, baby…but I’ll do what I can to help you out.” Reiner nods slowly, his lip wobbling slightly before another few tears fall. “You want a hug?” The blonde nods again before holding his arms out. Bertholdt smiles as he crawls across the couch and settles into his boyfriend's embrace. At first he's nervous about crushing the man beneath him but Reiner always makes it clear that Bert's weight is next to nothing for him. Reiner hums softly as he holds the brunet close before rubbing his wet cheek against the other man's face.

“Thank you…” Bert turns his head to kiss the tears from the corner of his boyfriend's eye before shifting into a more comfortable position.

“You don’t need to thank me for this…” Reiner nods in response as his tears begin to flow freely. Everything that’s added up is finally getting to him. Bertholdt pulls him closer and pats the blonde's back in an attempt to calm his sobs. Reiner continues to wipe his face on the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt before pulling away with a shuddering sigh.

“Wanna talk to Krista.” Bertholdt nods slowly before wiggling his way out of Reiner's needy grasp. He receives a pout in response and leans down to ruffle Reiner's hair with a faint smile.

“I’ll go grab my phone. You try to calm down, okay?” Reiner sniffles and wipes his eyes again as he nods.

“Okay.” Bert makes his way back to the kitchen and grabs his phone off of the counter before skimming through his contacts for Krista’s number. He dials before holding the phone to his ear, growing more nervous with each passing ring. Bert pushes out a relieved sigh when she picks up after the fourth.

“Hey, Bert. It’s not like you to call…what’s up?” He can hear music playing softly in the background along with the clink of weights against the floor. She must be at the gym.

“Umm...I'm sorry to interrupt but Reiner is wine drunk and crying on my couch.” Krista snorts softly with a laugh.

“Oh my, I hope you’re having fun with that.” Bertholdt responds with a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah well uhh…he actually requested you.” Krista sighs softly through the mic of her phone and hesitates before speaking.

“I’m kind of busy right now…can it wait?”

“I’m not sure…I don’t think so, at least. Karina knows he's gay…and it wasn’t really on his own terms.”

“O-oh, umm…shoot. Okay umm…” Bertholdt can hear Krista hurrying to gather her things. “Should I come over? Is that alright with you?”

“Well, I live forty-five minutes away…I think a phone call would work for now.” Bert switches over to speakerphone before heading back into the living room. “Hey, baby. I’ve got someone who wants to talk to you.” Reiner's head pops up from the other side of the couch and his eyes light up slightly when he sees the phone in Bert’s hand. When Krista's tiny voice comes through the speaker, it sounds as if she's moved to a quieter location.

“Hey there, big guy. What's going on?” Bertholdt hands his phone to his boyfriend and Reiner takes it slowly before laying it on the arm of the couch.

“Nothing much really.”

“Bert told me what happened earlier…wanna run it by me?” Reiner hums softly as he rolls onto his stomach.

“Mhh…yeah.” Bertholdt smiles at Reiner sweetly and grabs the empty wine glasses before heading back into the kitchen to let him have a private conversation. He sets the glasses down in the sink and starts to run some warm water to rinse them out. He jumps, nearly dropping the glass he's holding when Reiner starts to shout the chorus of No Doubt's “Don’t Speak”. The brunet can hear Krista's soft voice singing along and figures she had started it to help calm him down. He smiles and listens in as he finishes washing the dishes and sets them upside down on a dish towel to dry. Bertholdt dries off his hands and leans against the counter. It isn’t long before Reiner is shouting again. “Hey, Bertl! Krista wants to say bye!”

Bert pushes off of the counter and reenters the living room before taking the phone from Reiner's hand. “Hey Krista, see you and Ymir soon, yeah?”

“Yeah, maybe we can all still do something together for Christmas…” She's silent for a moment like she’s trying to decide whether she should make her next comment or not. “…and maybe we'll just gift you the sex tape you two left on our camcorder.” Krista holds back a laugh and Reiner grins at Bert when the taller man goes red.

“Oh my God I’m…We-we're so sorry!” He thinks he hears an "I'm not." come from the man on the couch and turns to give him a disapproving glare.

“It's alright, Bert. Don’t worry about it. See you soon and keep an eye on him, okay?” Her last statement is a bit more serious than the rest of their conversation and Bertholdt takes note of what she truly means. Reiner must’ve said something weird during their conversation but she doesn’t want to tip him off.

“Alright, can do. See ya, Krista.”

“See ya.” Krista ends the call and Bertholdt slides his phone into his back pocket before sitting on the arm of the couch. He pushes Reiner's hair away from his forehead with a soft hum.

“All better now?” Reiner nods with a smile.

“Better than before.” Bertholdt gives the blonde a warm smile in return.

“I heard you singing.” Reiner huffs softly before shaking his head. “Come on now, it was nice. I liked it.” Bert pushes his boyfriend's hair back a few more times before pulling his hand away to cross his arms. “What now? Did all the crying tucker you out? Are you ready for a nap?” Bertholdt hopes the answer is yes because the wine coursing through his system has admittedly made eyes feel a little heavy. Reiner smiles softly as he begins to sit up straight.

 “Not quite…I had a little something different in mind.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner continues to struggle (but what else is new)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So this thing is getting really long and I think I've decided that once I end up finishing it I'll be combining some of the shorter chapters (that probably should've been combined in the first place)  
> But don't worry! I'll make sure to add a little note at the bottom of the fic summary when this happens. (:

The pizza had been delivered and now sits on the counter completely untouched as long as Biscuit hasn’t gotten into it yet. Bertholdt had managed to talk Reiner into taking a short cat nap before doing anything else. They had migrated from the living room to Bert's bedroom but the brunet isn’t quite sure when comfortable cuddling had turned into fooling around or when fooling around had become fucking against his desk. Not that he's complaining or anything; he just hadn’t thought this was in the agenda for today.

Reiner's being rougher than usual, like he used to be on days that he would forget who he was, and Bert can almost feel the frustration behind each of his thrusts. The brunet whines softly when the next he receives is hard enough to rattle the desk against the wall. He'd be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy their times like this. Perhaps they're even his favorite, as long as they’re spaced far enough apart for his aches from their previous session to subside.

Bert groans when he feels Reiner's thumbs press firmer into the grooves of his hips but the moment is quickly ruined when he hears a commotion come from the other side of the door. “ _Shit_ , Reiner. Get off.”

“Nhh…believe me, baby. I’m trying.” Reiner laughs breathlessly before sliding one of his hands up to gently grip Bertholdt's side. The taller man swings an arm back to insistently swat at his boyfriend's hip.

“No, I mean get off _of me_. It sounds like my parents are home.” Reiner curses under his breath as he pulls away quickly. Bertholdt whimpers softly at the loss of contact before his legs buckle beneath him, causing his knees to bend forward against the edge of his desk. Reiner reaches an arm out to catch him before he can fall any further.

“You alright?” Bertholdt nods in response before standing on shaky legs. He knows there isn’t much time until his mother comes to check on him, especially since Reiner's truck is in the driveway so he decides to rush to his bed and pull the covers up to his neck instead of attempting to get dressed. Bert quickly motions for Reiner to join him. What they were doing is still probably pretty obvious but at least this way his parents won’t catch him with his boyfriend balls deep in his ass.

Someone knocks on the door just a few moments later and Mrs. Hoover still enters despite not receiving an answer. Reiner had just barely concealed himself in time and is now laying stiff and nervous beside his boyfriend. “Hey, the cat's trying to get into your pizza.” Bert tries to act as inconspicuous as possible as his mother scans the room.

“Yeah, sorry. I’ll grab it in a second.” Mrs. Hoover’s eyes finally fall on her son before they’re drawn to the man behind him.

“What brings you all the way out here Reiner? Certainly not the fact that we'd be gone for a while, right?” Reiner laughs softly as he tries his best to make light of the situation.

“No, that's not the reason. Umm…its actually kind of a long story. I'll tell you in-“ Mrs. Hoover cuts the blonde off with an amused smile.

“In a second, right.” Bertholdt thinks he might die from embarrassment if his mother hangs around for much longer.

“ _Mom_ , please.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going.” Mrs. Hoover laughs softly. “Your father and I will be out in the living room when you’re ready, alright? And make sure that Biscuit has food…it looks like she’s been eating the pizza box trying to get at what’s inside.” Bertholdt nods and turns to Reiner with a relieved sigh when his mother finally closes the door.

“Dude, your mom has no shame.”

“Oh, I know. You don’t need to tell me.” Bertholdt chuckles softly before leaning close to press a kiss to Reiner's forehead. “Come on, we should get up. Maybe we can continue later? If you'd like…” Reiner hums softly in response before throwing the blanket off of himself.

“Yeah, if we're both still feeling up to it.” He slides the now wasted condom off as he crosses the room before tossing it into the trash can beside Bert's desk. Bertholdt nods after he sits upright and stretches until most of the tension has left his hips and thighs. He stands to pick his clothes up off of the floor and dresses quickly. Reiner nervously waits by the door as his boyfriend finishes up. “Dude, there's no way I can look your mom in the eye.” Bert chuckles softly in response.

“Come on, it isn’t that bad. Besides, if we hang around in here for too long she'll start to think we've continued whatever she thinks she interrupted.” Bertholdt comes closer before gently patting the blonde's back. “This isn’t the first awkward moment you’ve shared with my mother and I have a feeling it isn’t going to be the last so let’s go, babe. It’s now or never.” Reiner pouts for a moment as he stares at the floor. Bert pauses before tilting his boyfriend's chin up with his free hand and looking into his eyes. “That’s not what’s bothering you though, is it?”

Reiner nods in confirmation. “I’m not sure if I’m really okay with what happened today…I don’t think I’ve really processed it yet and I think it’ll really get to me if your parents start worrying about me.” The brunet smiles faintly as he tries to give Reiner even the slightest bit of reassurance.

“I can explain what happened…you don’t even have to be in the room if you don’t want to be. It’s perfectly fine if you just want to grab some pizza and play with Biscuit in the kitchen or something, okay?” Reiner nods slowly before stepping forward to pull Bert into a warm embrace. He rests his chin on the taller man's shoulder with a soft hum.

“Thank you, Bertl. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Bertholdt rubs Reiner's back soothingly before pulling away and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. The brunet leads the way, smiling faintly when Reiner branches off to enter the kitchen. Mrs. Hoover grins at her son when he enters the room.

“Hi, sweetie. Nice of you to join us.” She peers around him in search of his companion “...Where’s Reiner?”

“Umm…yeah, about that. He's actually here because of something that happened at home earlier and he isn’t really ready to talk about it yet…so he's hanging out in the kitchen.” Mrs. Hoover’s expression grows somber and Bert's father, who usually tends to tune out their conversations, seems to be paying attention.

“Oh…oh no. Did something happen to Karina?”

“No, that isn’t it…she umm…she found out he's gay. She didn’t kick him out or anything but I guess things got pretty bad so he decided to leave. You know how she is...” Bertholdt’s mother begins to wring her hands as a worried look creeps across her face. She shifts before standing from her spot on the couch and paces nervously before heading towards the kitchen. Mr. Hoover glances at his wife and son before silently returning to the newspaper he had been reading. He's never really been interested in getting involved.

Bertholdt chases his mother down the hall with a firm protest ready on his lips. He knows Reiner really didn’t want to have to think about what happened today and confrontation, even if it’s well-meant, will stress him out even more. Mrs. Hoover pauses in the kitchen doorway before knocking on the frame silently. Bert doesn’t quite catch her in time and instead ends up directly behind her. He can’t help but smile when he finds Reiner with half of a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth as he holds Biscuit up beneath her arms. She meows at him cutely when he sets her down on the floor before resting his pizza on a paper towel on the counter. “Oh…hey, Mrs. H.” Bert gives his boyfriend an apologetic look. He really hopes his mother doesn’t press the blonde.

Mrs. Hoover wrings her hands one last time before dropping them to her sides. “Reiner, sweetie…” She takes a few steps closer to gently cup his cheek with one of her hands. “…do you need a place to stay?” Reiner shifts his gaze to give his boyfriend a slightly surprised look. They hadn’t talked about this yet and although he would love to accept, he isn’t sure how welcome he really is. Sure, Bert's mom loves him but he's had a creeping feeling since the last time he was over that although Mr. Hoover might like him personally, he doesn’t really like him as his son's boyfriend.

“Umm n-no offense but that’s kind of a big decision to make right now…” Bert's mom smiles faintly as she slides her thumb across the blonde's cheek.

“I understand that I kind of sprung this on you out of nowhere so you just take your time, okay? Our door is always open and we're here for you if you ever need anything.” She pulls him into a loose hug and pats his shoulder softly before turning to leave the boys to themselves. Bertholdt comes closer to lean against the counter.

“Sorry, I tried to catch her.” Reiner chuckles softly before crouching down to bring Biscuit back into his arms.

“It's fine. I knew I probably couldn’t get away from totally avoiding her concern…but it’s still nice to know that she worries about me too, y’know?”

“I know, I just think she worries _too_ much sometimes.” Bertholdt jumps when his mother rounds the corner just a moment later. A polite smile crosses her face.

“There’s no such thing, Bert.” She shifts her attention to Reiner before nodding towards the fridge. “I just brought home a bunch of strawberries if you're interested.” She leaves once again and Bertholdt hopes that it’s for good this time. He knows he shouldn’t be annoyed by her caring nature but sometimes it can’t be helped since he’s grown up with it. Bertholdt chuckles softly when Reiner quickly sets the cat back down on the floor to shuffle to the fridge.

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.” He pulls out the carton of fruit and sets it on the counter before tearing a paper towel off of the roll. Bert smiles as his boyfriend washes at least ten berries, setting each of them down on the paper towel before pushing the carton to the back of the counter. Reiner's always been particularly enticed by all kinds of berries but Bertholdt had discovered that strawberries were his favorite on a warm spring day years ago. He fondly remembers the time that they had laid out on Bert's front porch and Reiner had eaten a whole carton by himself before complaining about how much his tummy hurt. He's glad to see that the blonde's self-control has improved since then.

Bert quirks an eyebrow up at Reiner when he reaches into the cabinet to grab a small bowl before filling it halfway with sugar. “Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of a healthy snack?” Reiner shrugs as he grabs the stem of a strawberry and rolls the tip until it’s coated in sugar.

“Who said it was supposed to be healthy?” Bert rolls his eyes before leaning against the counter opposite to Reiner. The blonde is coating his second bite in sugar and Bertholdt leans forward before holding his mouth open. Reiner pretends he's going to give it to him with a wide grin before shoving it into his own mouth, biting off just before the stem. He rests the green leaves on his paper towel before reaching for his next berry. Bert pouts as he watches his boyfriend smother this one in sugar too before quickly taking one of the blonde's berries and biting into it before he can stop him. “Hey!” Reiner feigns shock and Bertholdt grins as a bit of juice trails down the corner of his lips.

“There's still almost a whole carton left, goofball. Am I not allowed to just have one?”

“Hmm…I guess.” Reiner smiles before tearing the leaves off of his second berry and popping the remainder of it into his mouth. They’re mostly silent, just playfully nudging each other as Reiner finishes up his snack. He throws away his trash and dumps the rest of the sugar in the bin with it before rinsing the bowl out and leaving it to rest in the sink. The blonde pauses for a moment before nodding in the direction of his boyfriend's room. “Can we talk for a bit? About your mom's offer.” Bert nods in response and stands upright before motioning for Reiner to follow him.

The blonde makes sure to gently close the door behind himself before turning to Bertholdt who is now sitting on the edge of his bed. “Sooooo…living together.” Bert nods slowly before motioning for Reiner to sit beside him. “Was she being serious orrr…?” The taller man chuckles softly before taking one of Reiner's hands in both of his.

“Yes, most certainly. She wouldn’t have even brought it up with you if she weren’t serious.” Reiner nervously rubs his hands on his thighs.

“So…I know we share a room now but I’m not sure how comfortable I am actually leaving home yet…I don’t really want to go back but needing to be financially responsible for myself on such short notice is a hell of a task.” Bert nods slowly in response.

“I understand that and I’m sure we could help you out. I mean, it’s not like we're hurting or anything.” Bertholdt chuckles softly before resting his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. “Mom wouldn’t have offered to take you in without that being part of the deal.” Reiner is silent for a moment before pressing his thumbs to his temples, clearly stressed.

“What am I going to do about school? I haven’t had to take out any loans yet since Ma had some money saved up for me but…what am I supposed to do if that goes away?” Bert hums softly before running a hand through Reiner's hair in an attempt to calm him.

“We’ll figure something out. Okay, baby? I can help you find scholarships and hey, maybe if things keep going the way they are for me then you can have what's supposed to go towards my education.” The brunet snorts humorously and Reiner gives him a slightly concerned look.

“What? Bertl...you aren’t failing, are you?” He starts to feel kind of guilty because he could’ve sworn Bertholdt was making all A's and B's but when he really thinks about it, he hasn’t asked him about his grades in a while. Bertholdt smiles softly before pulling the other man closer.

“No, it’s not that. I just…I don’t know.” The brunet blows an exasperated sigh through his nose before focusing on a spot on the carpet. “I’m feeling really burnt out…and I’m not even sure if I'm really interested in it anymore.” Reiner frowns slightly in response. “I think I’ll finish out the year but if I still feel the same about school  by then I think I’d like to do something else.”

“Like what?” Bertholdt shrugs as a sad look crosses his face for a mere second.

“Not sure…maybe I’ll get some experience with an animal shelter so I can have one of my own. Or maybe I could be a pastry chef. Or I could learn a trade.” The brunet shrugs once more. “There are lots of options.” Reiner nods slowly before resting his head on Bert's shoulder. He's silent for a few minutes as the dull pressure that had almost seemed to subside begins to return.

“I’ll stay here for a few days to see how things pan out, alright? And then I’ll decide.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meant to do this a lot earlier but its the bottom Reiner chapter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I've been kind of sick lately so I'm sorry if the quality of this porn is sub-par lol  
> I revised the hell out of this chapter but I'm still feeling kind of feverish so if you find any mistakes, just let me know!

Bertholdt has to admit that there’s something soothing about laying quietly awake in bed with only the moonlight illuminating the room through his blinds. But maybe it isn’t as soothing as it should be with Reiner nervously rambling in his ear. “…but I mean, that’s just how it is y'know?” Bertholdt hums softly before sleepily snuggling back into Reiner's embrace.

“Yeah…” He isn’t really sure what the blonde had said because truthfully, he hasn’t been paying attention for the better part of the last ten minutes. He knows Reiner is just venting but he still feels like he should answer just to let him know he’s at least listening.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t completely gay and had it easy like you.” Bert furrows his brow before rolling to face his boyfriend.

“I wouldn’t say being bi is necessarily easy…” Reiner shrugs but refrains from looking the brunet in the eye.

“Well, I meant that it’s easier for you to blend in, y'know? Like, you could bring home a woman one day and that’s that. Your family’s happy.” Bert's lips pull together tightly. In a sense, Reiner isn’t wrong and it’s something Bert has thought about quite often. However, it isn’t quite as black and white as everyone else seems to think and it bothers him.

“I mean…yeah.” The brunet sighs wearily. He had had this conversation with Marco years ago and although he now knows the real reason for their relationship’s end, he still feels like the topic had a hand in the process. “…but…I mean…” He’s having a hard time bringing his words together. He starts to feel the guilt set in like he does every time someone tells him that being bisexual is easier than being gay. “’Blending in' is only easy if you fall for someone of the opposite sex…there’s a whole not more to it than just that.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” Reiner shrugs slightly and for the first time in a while, Bert is having trouble reading him.

“Reiner if I’m in a relationship with a woman, my attraction to men doesn’t just magically disappear. Relationships are hard because there are a lot of misconceptions…In a lot of ways, I'm 'too straight' for other men to but interested in me and 'too gay' for a lot of women. Hell, even Marco was scared I’d leave him for a woman.” Bert stares at the wall behind Reiner with a slightly melancholic smile. “I guess he kinda called that one.” Reiner nods slowly, seeming to understand a bit more. “A lot of people think bisexuality is a myth and that it’s just an excuse to be promiscuous or experiment 'without judgement'. Hell, my own father thinks that I’m just confused and won’t even really accept my sexuality as a part of me.”

“Jeez, I never really thought about it that way…I mean, you know it’s never been too hard for me to get with anyone.” Reiner chuckles softly but it quickly dies off. “…and I had a feeling your dad was a little less accepting than your mom. He just gives off a certain vibe. At least my mom believes my sexuality exists...she just doesn't accept it.” Bertholdt hums softly before resting his chin on the top of Reiner's head. He's silent for a moment as a sheen of nervous sweat begins to form on the surface of his skin.

“I’m not too straight for you, am I?” Reiner laughs with a snort and Bert grins goofily when he can feel the rumble of the sound against his chest.

“Of course not because you aren't straight and besides...you take a dick like a champ, baby.” Bertholdt can feel the blush creeping into his cheeks as Reiner presses his nose into the crook of his neck.

“Umm…th-thanks?”

“Don’t worry, it’s a compliment.” Bert nods in response. He had figured that much but he’s never really been the best at accepting compliments.

“I’m glad…that I can do that for you.” The taller man can feel his boyfriend mouthing at his throat and he has a feeling that they share that sentiment. Bertholdt sighs softly and somewhat nervously when he begins to feel teeth. "Reiner..." The blonde pulls away with a sly grin.

"What?"

"I don't know what you think you're up to because last time I checked, my parents are still a room above us." Reiner raises an amused eyebrow before returning to nuzzle his nose into the crook of Bert's neck.

"Yeah, _and_? We've done riskier things before." He presses another lingering kiss against his boyfriend's pulse. "I'm not opposed to it and if you're on board too, I wouldn't really mind picking up where we left off earlier."

"Yeah umm...I-I'm fine with that but my problem or rather, _your_ problem, is trying to keep quiet." Bert pokes an accusatory finger at his boyfriend's chest. Reiner scoffs softly in response.

" _My_ problem, huh?"

"Yeah, your problem. Because believe it or not, you're pretty loud too. The only difference between the two of us is that I have shame and you sir, do not." Reiner smirks as he slides a hand over Bert's hip, causing the other man to shiver slightly.

"I'm just passionate." Bertholdt slides down the mattress to press his forehead to Reiner's with a smile as the other man pulls him closer by his waist.

“Alright, yeah. We'll call it that.” The brunet tilts his boyfriend's chin up to barely brush their lips together but when he moves to pull away, he finds his own bottom lip caught between a set of teeth. He groans softly as he pulls out of the slight pinch of Reiner's bite. “Being a bit rough tonight, are we?” Reiner grins as he slides his thick thigh between Bert's legs.

“Maybe…you aren’t into it?” Bertholdt muffles a gasp when he feels Reiner's leg finally make firm contact with his crotch.

“N-no. I’m into it.” The blonde grins wide before looping the arm around his boyfriend's waist down to grip a handful of ass, causing the taller man to jump closer with a squeak.

“Good.” Reiner squeezes a second time and Bert pushes into it with a soft gasp. The brunet leans closer to catch his boyfriend's lips in a kiss in an attempt to muffle any small noises that may prove to be too loud for his liking. Another groan rises from his throat as he grinds against the blonde's thigh. Reiner pants softly after pulling away to speak softly. “Want you to be on top tonight.” Bertholdt doesn’t think twice, just nods quickly before hooking his leg over Reiner's side and rolling until he's straddling him comfortably. He looks down at the man beneath him before grinding back onto his very apparent erection.

“Love it when we do it this way.” Reiner looks stunned for a moment before allowing his hands to lightly rest on Bert's hips.

“U-umm…actually, I uhh…” Reiner finds himself at a loss for words and grips the brunet’s hips tighter when he decides he'll just have to show him instead. He easily flips Bert onto his back before climbing over his long legs and into the taller man's lap. “I actually meant like this…”

“O-oh…” Bertholdt hadn’t been expecting this. He looks up at Reiner with a slightly confused expression but it's quickly wiped away when he feels Reiner mimicking what Bert had been doing to him just seconds ago. Although he’d been excited to fuck himself on Reiner's cock, Bertholdt must admit that this turn of events is getting him quite excited as well. The brunet’s eyes dart from what Reiner's hips are doing to his face and then back again. “You’re sure?” Reiner takes a shaky breath when Bertholdt lightly slides the palms of his hands up his boyfriend's thighs.

“Yeah. I-I wanna try it.” Bert focuses the most on the word “try”.

“You’ve never done this before…” Reiner shakes his head, confirming the brunet’s assumptions.

“But I’d like to…if that’s fine with you.” Bertholdt nods quickly.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it…as long as you're sure.” Reiner smiles before lightly pressing the palm of his hand over the spot where Bert's heart rests.

“I’m sure.” Bertholdt nods again, quickly becoming distracted as he slides his hands further up to rest on the blonde's hips.

“And you're…” He takes a moment to attempt to articulate his thoughts in a manner that sounds polite. “You’re all clean, right?” Reiner chuckles softly in response before leaning forward to press their foreheads together.

“Yeah…earlier before my shower.” Bert nods in response but he still can’t manage to shake the nervous feeling growing in his gut.

“Have you done anything on your own before?” Reiner sighs softly, impatience obvious in his expression.

“Nothing more than fingers. I've always been kind of apprehensive to try it with anything else.” Bertholdt hums softly as he shifts his hands up Reiner's sides before wrapping his arms around the other man's broad shoulders.

“Alright...we'll just have to make sure you're  nice and worked up first, okay?” Reiner pulls away to find a sultry smirk pulling at the other man's lips and although it looks out of place in person, he knows it belongs to the brunet’s on-screen personality. Bertholdt has made it clear that he’s only unbearably sexy when he wants to be. Reiner squeaks softly when the hands leave his shoulders in favor of his hips. He's pulled forward slowly, groaning as the taller man's thumbs press into the divets of his hips The blonde finally understand what the man beneath him wants when his hips are shifted back and then pulled forward again. He takes the motion into his own hands with a slightly nervous smile.

“Like this?” Bert watches in slight awe as Reiner gyrates his hips before nodding slowly. He’s convinced that the blonde looks absolutely perfect, regardless of the situation. He licks his dry lips before moving his hands up a little further to rest on Reiner's sides. Bertholdt slips a thumb beneath the elastic of the blonde's underwear and slides it around the outline of his hip, only pulling away when the man above him shivers with anticipation.

Reiner pants softly as he picks up the pace, relishing in the feeling of his boyfriend's hard cock sliding between his ass cheeks. He leans down to press a sloppy kiss to Bert's lips, humming soft when he hears the taller man blindly rummaging  through the drawer of the bedside table. Bertholdt pulls away to catch his breath before firmly gripping the blonde's hips and attempting to pull him forward. Reiner isn’t sure what Bert is asking of him at first and gives him a slightly confused look as he tries to continue the rhythm he had set before. Bertholdt smiles before gently patting the man above him. “C’mere…and take these off.” He tugs at the waistband of Reiner's boxer briefs before letting go of the elastic, allowing it to snap back against the blonde's skin.

Reiner gasps before nodding quickly. He sits higher on his knees to slide the garment down his thighs before raising each leg to pull them from his knees and then finally tosses them to the ground once his feet have been freed. He returns to his position atop his boyfriend with a goofy smile. Bertholdt smiles back and lightly trails his fingertips along Reiner's thigh before patting his own chest “Come here.” The blonde nods slowly before climbing his way up the bed to sit on Bert's chest.

“Like this?”

“Perfect.” The brunet nods and raises his head forward slightly to tease the head of his boyfriend's cock with the tip of his tongue. The sudden stimulation causes Reiner to jump slightly, his mouth agape as he grips the headboard. He scoots further up once he fully realizes what Bert's plan was. Bertholdt smirks slightly and lightly rests a hand on one of Reiner's hips as he leans closer to wiggle the tip of his tongue against the first piercing that lies just under the blonde's frenulum. Reiner groans before allowing his forehead to rest against the wall. A light blush begins to dust his cheeks when he notices Bert looking up at him with those stunning green eyes.

Reiner grips the headboard tighter when he feels the tip of his cock slip into the wet heat of Bertholdt's mouth. He's been trying to keep his movement to a minimum but it’s been getting harder to keep himself from bucking his hips forward. The blonde sighs when the man beneath him finally takes more of him in. He angles his hips just slightly to make it more comfortable for Bertholdt. With the position they’re in, it isn’t very easy for the brunet to get the amount of coverage that he knows they both want so he guides the blonde's hips in a thrusting motion to let him know that it’s okay.

Bert lightly slides a hand up to rest on one of Reiner's plump ass cheeks, trying not to choke as he begins to sink deeper. Reiner begins to breathe heavier as he pulls almost all the way out before sinking deep once again. He creates a rhythm out of it and Bertholdt understands just how much he wants to get off. The brunet recognizes the movements as something his boyfriend does when he's a little too worked up. The drawn-out loss and quick return of stimulation tends to get him closer more quickly than other methods. He decides to hold Reiner's hips still when he catches a glimpse of the blonde's scrunched face, his eyebrows drawn together in bliss.

Reiner's hips stutter and he whines when Bertholdt lays his head back to remove the blonde from his mouth. He presses a final kiss to the tip and slips his tongue out to collect the precum that's gathered there before bringing his free hand up to grip Reiner's other ass cheek. He massages them gently and clears his throat in an attempt to get rid of some of the hoarseness in his voice. “So you think you’re ready for more?” Reiner nods slowly as he sits upright before running a hand through his hair. “Do you want me to go ahead or do you want to start yourself off for me?”

“U-umm…you can do it.” Bert nods slowly and reaches for the lube he had placed on the nightstand earlier. Reiner tugs at the Brunet’s shirt and helps him remove it as the other man busies himself with uncapping the lube. He only places a little bit on his fingers at first before reaching behind the man above him to lightly stroke them against his entrance. Reiner takes a shuddering breath as Bertholdt teases him before bending down further to spread himself wider. Bert circles the tight ring of muscle a few more times before applying a more generous amount of lube to his fingers. He returns them to their position before slipping the very tip of his index finger in.

Reiner gasps before tensing up and Bertholdt cups his cheek with his free hand. “Relax, baby.” Reiner nods in response and takes another deep breath before loosening up again. Bert slides his finger in to the first knuckle and pauses. “You still alright?”  Reiner nods quickly in response.

“Never better.” He sighs softly before wiggling his hips. “Can you keep going…please?” Bertholdt nods with a smile and sinks his finger in to the second knuckle before drawing it back out slowly. He picks up a gentle rhythm and adds more lube when the need arises. The brunet withdraws his finger completely when he feels like Reiner is ready for more.

“I’m going to do two now…is that okay with you?” Reiner pushes his hips back in an attempt to follow his boyfriend's finger and pouts slightly when he loses it completely.

“Yeah, it’s more than okay. I want more.” He leans forward to press a passionate kiss to his boyfriend's lips in an attempt to make his actions more urgent. It doesn’t work the way he wants it to though because it seems that Bertholdt has impeccable self-control. Bert smiles as he pours more lube over his fingers before pressing both in. They slide in easier than he thought they would and Reiner groans above him, obviously more comfortable now than he had been earlier. He speeds the motion of his hand and grins when Reiner tries to muffle his moans with the back of his hand. The brunet sinks his fingers deep and scissors them before curling them forward, making sure to finger him until he's panting heavily and dripping lube.

Reiner yelps softly and bears down as Bert continues the motion. “Do you want more?” The blonde doesn’t speak, he just nods as he sinks his teeth into his own lip. Bertholdt withdraws his fingers and wipes them on the sheets before gripping the waistband of both his pajama pants and underwear. He shimmies his hips in an attempt to get them off, hissing once the cold air hits his flushed cock. There's no telling how long he'll last since he hasn’t been touched yet and it feels like it’s been ages since he’s topped. He just hopes he lasts long enough to get Reiner off first.

The brunet grabs the condom from atop the nightstand and rips it open before discarding the wrapper somewhere on the floor. Bert rolls his hips into his own touch as he slides the condom down the length of his cock. He strokes himself a few times but tries not to get too carried away since he knows a much sweeter sensation awaits him. Bertholdt lubes himself up generously and Reiner lifts his hips up to hover over his boyfriend's pelvis. “Th-this is all you, baby. I won’t move unless you're really ready, okay?”

“Alright.” Reiner speaks softly with a nod and takes the taller man's cock in his own hand before stroking a few slow times. Bert shifts his hips impatiently but stills once Reiner lines himself up. His breathing becomes shallow when he feels the head of his cock press against his boyfriend's inviting entrance. He gasps when he feels himself slip in. It happens easier than expected but Reiner tenses after only taking about half of his boyfriend's length. It’s taking everything in Bert’s power to keep his hips still but he tries his best as he gently rests a hand on Reiner's thigh.

“Everything still okay?” The blonde's brows pull together in slight discomfort.

“Yeah, just…feels strange.” _Oh god don’t say it_. “Kind of like pooping but different.” Bert covers his face in slight embarrassment when Reiner grins down at him. _He said it_.

“I promise it gets better…” Bertholdt laughs softly before pulling his hand away from his face. “But we can stop if you don’t like it.” Reiner smiles sweetly before attempting to sink a little lower.

“I’ll try it for a little bit longer.” Bert nods and lays his hands flat on his thighs as Reiner continues to sink further down. He gasps softly when he begins to slowly raise back up “O-oh.” Bertholdt smiles as he watches the discomfort fade from the blonde's expression, his movements a bit sloppy since he's still learning what feels good. The taller man folds his arms behind his head as he watches Reiner's slow motions.

“Better?” The blonde nods and braces his hands on Bert's chest with a shaky sigh before leaning forward.

“Y-yeah…you can move.” Bertholdt pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it for a moment.

“Are you sure? It won’t be too much…?”

“Not in a bad way, no.” Reiner smiles softly before pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's nose. “I’m ready for whatever you’ve got.” The brunet nods slowly and gently grips Reiner's hips before hesitantly sliding the length of his cock into the other man's inviting heat. Reiner gasps when Bert draws himself out more before sinking back in, going slow but still a bit faster than he had started himself out at. Bertholdt groans before shifting to sit with his back against the headboard, bringing their bodies closer in the process. A soft moan pushes past Reiner's lips due to the sudden change in angle and he presses his face to the crook of Bert's neck in an attempt to silence himself.

“Mhh…beautiful.” Bertholdt snakes his arms around Reiner's waist before continuing at the pace he had set before. It doesn’t take long for him to get lost in the moment with the blonde's whimpers filling his ears. “Gotta be a little quieter, baby.” Reiner nods in response but lets ’s out quite a loud yelp when Bertholdt's thrusts begin to get rougher.

“Bertl, fuck. S-so good.” The brunet slides a hand between his stomach and Reiner's before wrapping it around his boyfriend's dick, the force behind his thrusts helping to push it up into his hand.

“Nhh…I’m not going to last much longer.” It’s only been a few minutes and Bert's a little ashamed to be tapping out so soon but he's still determined to give Reiner the ride of his life. He holds the blonde closer and kisses him clumsily as he feels his orgasm build. Bertholdt rolls his hips up a few more good, hard times before gripping his boyfriend's hips tightly as he finishes. He pants heavily as he listens to Reiner's whimpers each time he pulses inside of him. “M’sorry.” He continues to stroke his boyfriend's cock as the other man continues to rock back on his own. The overstimulation is almost enough to make his eyes roll into the back of his head but he’s willing to take it if it’s getting Reiner off.

“D-don’t worry, close.” Bertholdt nods as he quickens the pace of his hand and catches the blonde's lips in one last loving kiss before Reiner starts to flutter around him. The blonde pulls away to press his forehead to Bert's, mouth hanging open as each spurt of cum coats his boyfriend's hand. They sit silently for a moment until Bert shifts to clean off his hand, causing Reiner to whimper in response. Bertholdt whispers a soft apology as he slides out before beginning to clean up their mess. After throwing the condom away, he wipes his hand off on a bath towel before bringing it over to start cleaning Reiner up. The blonde is laying in the center of the bed, looking more tired and happy than Bert thinks he's ever seen him.

“Was that good? did you like it?” Reiner nods lazily and shivers slightly as Bertholdt starts to clean up his more sensitive areas. After he’s finished, the towel goes into the hamper and Bertholdt climbs beneath the covers beside his boyfriend.

“Very good. You’re a _god_.” The brunet chuckles softly as he runs a hand through Reiner's sweaty hair.

“I think a god would be able to last longer than three minutes…” Reiner snorts softly before turning to face his boyfriend.

“Hey, it’s alright. I struggle to make it past the three-minute mark too. We turn each other on too easily, I'm telling ya.” Bertholdt laughs softly and smiles before snuggling close. It may have been short but he hopes it was at least good enough to distract Reiner from what’s been troubling him.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner acts suspicious, leaving Bertholdt in a position to attempt to figure out why.

It had taken two days for Karina to figure out where her son had gone or rather, it had taken two days for the letter she had decided to send him to get to Bertholdt's house. Reiner had decided to make a follow-up visit with the doctor since his headaches still haven’t stopped. Bert has been sitting at the dining room table, waiting for his boyfriend to return and hoping to God that this letter doesn’t ruin his day. He's thought about opening it just to find out what it says so he can anticipate Reiner's reaction but he also doesn’t want to overstep a boundary into a family issue.

Bert worries at the corner of the envelope one last time and lays it flat on the table before checking his watch. _Reiner will probably be home soon_. The brunet pushes away from the table with a sigh before standing and walking into the kitchen. He decides to make a small snack for his boyfriend just in case the letter ends up being bad news. Bertholdt digs in the fridge until he finds the carton of strawberries that Reiner has already made a considerable dent in.

When he crouches down to grab the container off of the shelf he notices a new container of blueberries and decides to grab those too before standing up straight and setting the cartons on the counter. Bert fishes out a few good-sized strawberries and places them in a small bowl before pouring a few blueberries on top and making sure to grab a few sugar packets from the pantry. He decides that waiting for Reiner to arrive at the dining room table may seem a bit too serious or confrontational so he grabs the letter before taking the items back to the living room. He sets the bowl down on the coffee table and drops the sugar packets beside it before carefully placing the letter to the other side.

Bertholdt sits down on the couch before swinging his legs to the side and stretching out. He doesn’t usually care much for watching TV but he turns it on anyway, if only for background noise over anything else. He isn’t quite sure when the soft chattering of the cooking show that’s on lulls him into a light sleep. He can still kind of register what’s happening around him but most of it just comes through as a jumbled mess.

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of the front door latching shakes Bertholdt from his nap. He sits up groggily and looks around the room in confusion. It seems that he's slept much longer than he had initially planned. The mellow blue combined with a touch of pink peeking from between the blinds of the glass sliding door indicates that he had slept well into the evening. The bowl of fruit and the letter sit untouched in the spot he had left them, indicating that Reiner still hasn’t been home.

Bertholdt quickly grows nervous. He knows Reiner should’ve been home long before now. Bert hopes that's who he's been hearing rummaging around in the kitchen. The brunet sits up straight before hesitantly calling out. “Reiner…?” He hears the refrigerator close before Reiner's face pops around the corner. The blonde takes the strawberry out of his mouth to speak.

“Yeah?” Even though he’s worried, Bertholdt can’t help but smile.

“I made you a snack earlier…” He nods towards the bowl on the table, drawing Reiner's eyes to it. Reiner gasps softly and quickly rounds the corner before setting what appears to be a bottle of pills on the table and sitting down beside his boyfriend. He smells like tobacco and Bertholdt wonders where exactly he's been. Reiner skeptically eyes the envelope on the table as he starts to eat his berries.  “It's from your mom.” The blonde nods calmly but his boyfriend doesn’t miss the hint of anxiety in his expression.

“Nothing good, I assume.” Bert shrugs before shifting closer to the man beside him.

“You can only hope its better news than expected.” Reiner nods again before tearing open a packet of sugar and pouring it over the contents of his bowl.  He shifts away slightly and Bertholdt frowns, unsure if he had done it on purpose. Bert really wants to know what Reiner's been up to and if whatever that “something” is is what’s been making him a bit distant but he feels like the time isn’t right. The last thing he wants to do is stress Reiner out more than he already is.

Reiner sets his bowl down and wipes his hands on his pants before picking up the envelope. He thumbs the corners nervously before finally tearing it open and removing the letter. The blonde's eyes scan the page as he reads and Bertholdt waits a moment longer before impatiently breaking the silence. “What’s it say?” Reiner hums softly as he continues to read down the page.

“She says she loves me and umm…she doesn’t want to lose her son.” Bert can tell that Reiner's starting to get a little choked up so he waits patiently as the blonde calms himself down. “She’s not kicking me out but she said if I don’t want to stay there anymore, she understands and I can come get my things…but if I do come back, she wants me to go to some…some 'therapy' as requested by the pastor.” Bertholdt nods slowly. He’s happy that Karina wants to stay on good terms with Reiner but he's upset that she would still try to change him after the argument they had just had a few days ago.

“What are you going to do?”

Reiner sighs heavily before dropping the letter into his lap and leaning against the back of the couch. “I…I don’t really want to go back.” Bert nods in agreement before resting his head on the blonde's shoulder.

“That’s understandable.” Reiner doesn’t pull away this time and Bert gives a soft sigh of relief. He cuddles closer as a soft smile begins to upturn the corners of his lips. “I think Dad'll be home from the firm soon so we can head back to my room if you don’t feel like talking to him.” Reiner shrugs but still doesn’t say anything. Bert frowns slightly before sitting upright. “Hey, what's wrong?”

“Nothing. Just not feeling well.” Bertholdt nods slowly as Reiner leans forward to lay the letter down on the table.

“Another migraine?” The blonde hums softly in response.

“Umm….yeah. Another migraine.” He pushes out an exasperated sigh before shifting uncomfortably.

“Are you sure you don’t want to lay down?” Reiner is silent for a moment as he thinks about it before finally nodding. Bertholdt smiles softly as he runs his hand along his boyfriend's back. Reiner collects his medicine, the envelope, and the letter before standing and rounding the couch to head towards the bedroom. “Can I tag along or would you rather be alone?” The blonde turns to him with a faint smile.

“I don’t mind…but I want to be little spoon.” Bertholdt stands with a joyful grin before hurried following Reiner to his room. He latches the door before kicking off his jeans and climbing into the empty side of the bed. Reiner patiently waits for him to get settled in before finally relaxing back against the taller man's chest.

“What did the doctor give you?” Reiner hums softly as Bert begins to run his hands through his hair.

“It's basically just prescription strength Tylenol. Nothing too hefty.” Bertholdt nods and drops his hand to rest on the pillow above Reiner's head before wrapping his other arm tighter around the blonde's midsection and pressing his nose into the back of his neck. He tangles his legs with Reiner's and sighs softly once he’s finally comfortable. “Hey, Bertl…?”

“Yeah?”

“I like it when you play with my hair.” Bertholdt smiles before raising his hand again to slide his long fingers through his boyfriend's soft hair. He hums softly as he tries to comfort Reiner the best he can. It's quiet for a few good minutes and the silence eats away at Bertholdt, the questions he has for Reiner still weighing heavily on his mind. He fights with himself for a little while longer but ultimately loses.

“I thought you quit smoking…” Bert speaks softly. He isn’t sure if Reiner had fallen asleep but if he had, he doesn’t want to wake him with a confrontation. Reiner doesn’t respond at first. He's silent for a moment before pushing out a soft sigh.

“Yeah, well…I thought I did too. It's just…all this stuff with Ma is kind of getting me worked up again.” Bertholdt nods in response before shifting his leg to hook it around Reiner's thigh.

“You know I don’t mind but…I noticed it when you came in and you haven’t really talked about being stressed or anything lately. I mean, I kind of assumed you would be due to recent circumstances…I just didn’t know it had gotten that bad again.” Reiner hums softly before shrugging. “I just wish you would be more open about your feelings…it would help.” Another shrug.

“Sorry…I’ll try to be better at it, alright?” Bertholdt nods in response. He doesn’t want to feel like he's telling Reiner what to do but he has to admit that talking about his problems as they arise instead of letting them weigh the blonde down will be better in the long run. He gives his boyfriend a moment before bringing up the next topic on his mind.

“You spent an awfully long time at the doctor's office today…” Reiner sighs softly before rolling to face his boyfriend.

“You worry too much.” Bert raises an eyebrow before pulling back to get a better look at the blonde.

“Is that a problem?” A smile breaks through Reiner's tired expression.

“No…I suppose it’s better than not at all, right?” Bertholdt nods in response before smiling back. “I think you get it from your mom.” Bert chuckles softly as he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, probably.”

“You’re like her in a lot of ways. Not that it’s a bad thing.” The taller man hums softly as he plays with the corner of the comforter with his unoccupied hand.

“Oh, am I? Please, do tell.”

“Well, you look a lot like her…and if you haven’t noticed, your mother is an _extremely_ beautiful woman.” Bertholdt smiles faintly. Everyone has always compared him to his mother and he used to hate it. He's never minded looking like her but he had always thought that her features looked a little too feminine on his face. He doesn’t mind it so much now, though. Bert has come to appreciate the long, slender nose and soft, slightly downturned eyes he had inherited from his mother. He thinks they make him look a bit more delicate and graceful and that isn’t a bad thing. “You _definitely_ worry like she does and damn, you definitely cook like she does too.” Bertholdt smiles when Reiner brings a hand up to rub his own stomach.

“You hungry?” Reiner thinks about his boyfriend’s question for a moment and tries to decide if he really _is_ hungry or if he’s just making himself think he is with thoughts of tasty food.

“Hmm…maybe.” Bertholdt chuckles softly and lays his hand on Reiner's before lacing their fingers together.

“I can make something later if you’d like…I think mom's working a double tonight so she'll be home kind of late and I bet she'd love to have a hot meal ready for her. You could help me out and maybe learn a few things?” Reiner nods in agreement as he squeezes his boyfriend's hand.

“Alright, yeah. That sounds nice.” Bertholdt sighs softly as he twirls strands of blonde hair between his fingers. They had gotten off track and now he isn’t sure how Reiner will feel if he presses the question. He decides to test the waters anyway.

“So uhh…I was wondering what took you so long today. I know you had a long trip there and back but that still leaves a few good hours in between. It didn’t take that long to get your diagnosis, did it?” Reiner hums softly before shifting his eyes away from his boyfriend's inquiring gaze.

“No, I just got to talking…and you know how I am when I get to talking. I don’t really stop.” The blonde chuckles softly when Bert nods in agreement.

“What about?” Bertholdt lightly presses his fingertips to Reiner's scalp before moving them in small, soothing circles.

“Just life stuff…he referred me to a therapist. A real one; not the kind Ma wants me to see.”

“That’s good.” Reiner nods in agreement. “Was there anything else?” The blonde smiles sweetly.

“Umm…nothing too important...” He pauses for a moment as he trails off before quickly picking the conversation back up. “I also talked about you for a little bit.” Bert cocks an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Oh, really?”

“Mhmm…he said your name sounds familiar. I’m not sure how likely it is but maybe he knows your mom?”

“Possibly…what’s the name?” Reiner thinks for a moment, seemingly having forgotten the name already. Bertholdt thinks it’s weird and takes note of it but he doesn’t pay too much attention to it at the moment.

“Jäger, I think. Dr. Jäger.” Bert's stomach drops as the name leaves his boyfriend's lips. There are only two people that come to mind when he hears it and he isn’t sure if he likes either of his options. He sucks a shaky breath between his teeth but tries to pass it off as a sigh.

“Yeah…I think she might know him.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner's not so pleasant day

Reiner pulls into the parking lot of the health clinic with a heavy sigh. He really doesn’t want to be here but Bertholdt had managed to convince him after he'd had another bad migraine a few nights before. He’s lucky the doctor had an opening at such short notice considering he's probably busy with the influx of patients due to cold and flu season.  The blonde locks his truck and heads inside, the chill of the air causing a shiver to run along his spine.

Reiner smiles politely as the nurse checks him in. He really hopes his mother hasn’t taken him off of her insurance yet. He refrains from sighing in relief when it goes through and instead smiles wider at the nurse when she hands him the pre-appointment paperwork and directs him to sit and wait to be called on. Reiner looks over the paper before scribbling “headaches” into the “Reason for appointment” box. He sets the clipboard down in his lap and waits patiently for a nurse to call him back.

There’s some cheesy infomercial for skin cream playing on the television and it’s the last thing Reiner is interested in but he uses it as a distraction in the absence of a phone. He really wishes he had been a little less dramatic when he had left home because then he would still at least have something to distract himself or contact other people freely with. The blonde twiddles his thumbs as he waits, zoning out only to snap back when he hears a nurse call his name loudly.

Reiner smiles at him and answers the usual banter of “how was your day, anything new going on, what are we here for today” as the nurse leads him back to an examination room. For a moment, the blonde thinks he recognizes him and dread starts to bubble up from the pit of his stomach. It’s been a while since he’s worried about anyone from the club scene recognizing him. He calms himself before answering the nurse’s questions about whether he’s taking any new medications, if he’s developed any new allergies, and if there are any new problems he's been having. Reiner sits through the usual routine of having his blood pressure and temperature checked and shifts uncomfortably in his seat after the nurse has finished entering his information into the computer.

He turns to Reiner and pauses for a moment. “I’m sorry if this seems kind of unprofessional but…have we meet before?” That almost proves that Reiner had taken this guy home some night two summers ago. He tries to calm his nerves but it just isn’t working. Reiner musters up the most polite smile possible.

“No, I don’t believe we have.” The nurse nods in response and apologizes for asking before taking his leave. Reiner lets out a sigh of relief after he leaves, suddenly glad for using a fake name back then. He waits impatiently for the doctor to show up. The guy may be a bit eccentric but at least Reiner knows he hasn’t slept with him. Reiner gets stuck in his own thoughts again but a quick rap on the door startles him out of them.

“Hey, sorry for the wait. I’m sure you know how it can be around this time of year.” Reiner chuckles softly with a nod.

“Yeah, I’ve had my fair share of winter illnesses to get an idea.” Dr. Jäger crosses the room as he looks over the clipboard. He hums softly as he sits down before logging into the computer.

“So, your migraines are still persistent?”

“Yeah, I get them every now and then but it's only a little more often than before.” The doctor nods and pushes his glasses up his nose before leaning closer to the monitor to read the blonde's information.

“And last time you were here, we determined it isn’t hereditary, correct?”

“Right. Well, at least not on mom’s side. I don’t really know my father so its hard to know whether it comes from him or not.” Dr. Jäger hums again before turning to face Reiner.

“What about stress? Have you worked on lowering your stress levels to see if that helps?” Reiner chuckles softly in response.

“Tried and failed. I'm probably way more stressed now than I was during my last appointment…some stuff happened at home and I’ve noticed that my headaches have been more frequent since then.”

“Ahh, I see.” The doctor retrieves his prescription pad from a pocket on his lab coat before digging around for a pen. “So stress seems to be a major factor.”

“Seems like that’s the case, yeah.” Dr. Jäger finally finds his pen and starts writing out a prescription.

“What have you been doing to manage your stress? I know it can be kind of hard to do when it’s caused by unchangeable circumstances but I’d like to get an idea of what you’ve already tried so I can help you to the best of my abilities.” Reiner chuckles somewhat nervously.

“Well, Doctor I uhh-“

“Please, call me Zeke.” Reiner nods slowly. He’s not sure what he’s done to warrant being on a first name basis but he'll roll with it.

“I don’t think I’ve really done anything, in all honesty. When I’m at school, classes stress me out and when I’m home, my family stresses me out. I tried to get back into working out to see if that would help but while I was at the gym, all I could think about were the things I still had left to do for class. I’d start to feel guilty so I just stopped going out.” Zeke nods slowly as he writes a few notes on a separate notepad.

“Maybe your goals are a little out of reach…what are your goals, Reiner? What's your _mission_?”

 _Running, always running, screaming never stops, killing never ceases. Gotta get home. No matter what, need to get home._ Reiner furrows his brow in slight confusion, frowning as a migraine begins to form behind his eyes. He isn’t sure when he had spaced out but he knows he had neglected to answer due to the light tap of Zeke's foot to his own that brought him back. “I’m sorry, umm…goals? I just…I just want to finish school and make my mom proud.” Zeke smiles with a nod.

“Alright, that’s a pretty good long-term goal. What about short term?” Reiner shrugs casually.

“Umm…finishing my homework, I guess.” The doctor hums softly before scribbling a few more notes down.

“I think that’s more of a task than a goal, really…try thinking less of things on a to-do list and try thinking of something that would be the reason for a to-do list.” Reiner drops his hands into his lap. He’s getting a bit agitated and he isn’t quite sure what Zeke wants him to say.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” Zeke nods slowly before leaning back in his chair.

“I’m going to refer you to a therapist...whether you go or not is entirely up to you but I think it would be beneficial in the long run.” Reiner nods slowly in response.

“What for? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I can tell that your anxiety is running pretty high. You’ve been kind of fidgety and spacey since we've been talking so I can tell that you're nervous. I’m also referring you for umm…suspected depression.”

“I’m not depressed.” Zeke hums softly before crossing a leg over his thigh.

“I understand that. But you said that you were having problems at home and that’s a situation that typically causes depression to manifest. Like I said, you don’t have to see the therapist if you don’t want to or you can go and talk about what _you_ want to talk about. I’m just letting you know what I’ve discovered while observing you today.” Reiner nods slowly.

“And you think if I go then the migraines should resolve themselves?”

“It’s highly likely, yes. Until then, I’ve written you a prescription for a higher dosage of acetaminophen. Take one every six hours as symptoms persist.” Zeke sends the prescription to Reiner's preferred pharmacy before ripping the top sheet off of his prescription pad and handing the blonde the copy.

“Alright, thanks.” Reiner moves to stand after Zeke hands him a card for the therapist.

“One more thing…are you doing alright? Migraines aside, I mean. Your problems at home aren’t too serious, are they?” Reiner shrugs before leaning against the wall. He thought he was ready to leave but he can’t really blame Zeke for caring about his patient's well-being.

“I’m not really living at home now due to some changes in recent circumstances but my boyfriend's letting me stay with him so I’m doing okay.”

“Ahh, I see. Everything is going well, I assume.”

“Yeah…he takes care of me. I think I’d probably be a lot more stressed out without him around.” Reiner smiles faintly and Zeke smiles back.

“It’s good to have someone that can keep you grounded…I’m glad that you’ve got someone that makes sure you’re doing alright. Support can make a huge difference in the healing process whether the ailment is physical or mental.” Reiner nods in agreement before turning to leave. He has his hand on the doorknob when he decides to ask one last question.

“Also umm…sorry if this is a weird question or anything but I’ve only met one other person with the same last name and I was wondering if maybe you had a son around my age?” Reiner stutters before quickly changing his choice of words. “Or really I meant if you’re related in any way…” He chuckles nervously when Zeke smiles at him. Zeke brings a hand up to rub against his beard before scratching behind one of his ears.

“A _son_? Man, am I really starting to look that old?” The doctor laughs softly before thinking for a moment. “If he's your age then you’re probably thinking of my half-brother, Eren. We don’t talk much.” Reiner nods slowly and turns the knob to leave. Zeke stands to follow him out and help his next patient.

“Thanks, doc…umm sorry,  _Zeke_.”

“Hey, don’t thank me. It’s my job. I'd like you to schedule a follow-up appointment in about two months or so. Think you can do that?”

“Yeah, sure thing. See you then.” Reiner smiles and waves before parting ways and heading to the checkout desk. The receptionist schedules his next appointment before he finally heads back out. A familiar face catches his eye as he passes through the waiting room. Pieck and Porco, or Galliard as he'd rather be called, are sitting side by side at the far end of the room. Reiner smiles at them politely but it begins to fall when neither of them smile back. He had expected as much from Galliard but he hadn’t expected Pieck to look so unpleasantly surprised to see him. She only smiles when he starts to approach them. “Hey, guys! What’re you doing here?” Pieck hums softly before glancing at the man sitting beside her.

“My back has been bothering me and he brought me here. What about you?” Reiner shrugs before looking down at the papers in his hand. He has a vague feeling that he’s unwanted here.

“Just getting my head checked again…trying to get rid of these damn migraines.” Pieck nods in response and it’s awkwardly silent for a moment before Reiner decides he needs to get out of there. “Ahh, anyway umm…Bertl’s probably waiting for me to get home so I’ll see you guys later, yeah?” Pieck hums softly with a nod.

“See you later.” Reiner quickly heads out to the truck, slightly confused and not exactly sure what he’d done wrong. He tries to clear his mind as he leaves the clinic parking lot. He manages to make it to the pharmacy and fill his prescription without trouble but he loses track of his speed on the way home and the next thing Reiner knows is that he’s being pulled over.

He sighs heavily and curses under his breath as he pulls off to the side of the road. He's already running late and would hate to make Bertholdt worry. Reiner smiles politely as the officer approaches him but it quickly falls when he notices which officer it just so happens to be. It's the same one that had shown up to scold them after Thanksgiving dinner. Of course it is, because that’s just the kind of day that Reiner is having. Reiner doesn’t smile back when the officer arrives at his window but he keeps his polite demeanor.

Erwin grins wide as he recognizes the blonde in the truck. “Good evening…do you have any idea why I stopped you?” Reiner finally looks up to meet the officer's gaze but when he does, he doesn’t see the officer’s uniform that he’s expecting to. The uniform that flashes behind his eyelids is one he recognizes but he can’t quite pinpoint where he knows it from. Reiner blinks a few times before pressing the heel of his hand to one of his temples as his migraine intensifies.

“Umm yeah, sorry. I’ve kind of got an idea.” Erwin furrows his brow at Reiner's reaction.

“Hey, are you alright…?”

“Yes sir, sorry sir. I’ve just got a headache right now. I’m aware that I was speeding.” Erwin nods slowly before shrugging.

“Well, ten over isn’t really _that_ bad I suppose. Just don’t do it again and try to get home safe, okay?” Reiner looks genuinely surprised when Erwin gives him the go-ahead to leave but he isn’t going to question it.

“Thank you, I will.” He smiles at Erwin as he leaves before pulling back onto the highway. On the way home, Reiner stops at the gas station for a pack of cigarettes and ends up smoking half before he even reaches the driveway. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him but he sure as hell doesn't like it.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this how you're supposed to fix things?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems that I'm late and I've ruined my perfect update record :(
> 
> But also! I felt obligated to take a little extra time to finish this chapter because wowie look it ended up being the last one!

The medication that Zeke had prescribed had worked wonders for Reiner's migraines and the therapy, although difficult at first, had helped improve his mental health tremendously. Bert has noticed that he goes out with friends more often and seems to be in a better mood at most times, always coming home to lift the taller man off of his feet in a warm embrace after he’s spent a long day out with friends or trying to rekindle his relationship with his mother. Reiner seems to be making good progress with Karina, despite his initial reluctance to give her a chance.

He had admitted to Bertholdt that it had hurt to contact her in the beginning but things had gotten better as time passed. He stays and talks with her and only leaves when she starts to make him feel uncomfortable. Bert knows that Karina is still learning and they’ll work something out someday but until then, Reiner will just have to make do with the brief moments that he can get through to her.

Winter break had allowed the two to spend more time together without the stress of school and classwork weighing both of them down but with only a few days left, Bertholdt dreads having to go back. He knows Reiner does too but the blonde doesn’t voice his opinion too often. He's gotten better at sharing his feelings with Bertholdt but he still holds back on some days. After a long day of cleaning and teaching Reiner new recipes, Bertholdt decides to call it a night and falls asleep in his boyfriend’s loving embrace.

He wakes up later that night with a mouth dryer than the Sahara desert. Bertholdt sleepily smacks his hand around on his nightstand in search of a bottle of water he knows should be there but ends up accidentally knocking it onto the floor. When he sits up to retrieve it, he opens his eyes a little wider and nearly jumps out of his own skin when his eyes finally make out Reiner's form sitting at the end of the bed. “Oh, shit!” The brunet rests a hand over his own heart and tries to calm his breathing before chuckling softly. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were awake.”

Bertholdt begins to lean closer but hesitates when he sees the muscles of Reiner's back stiffen. “Hey…are you alright?” Reiner is silent and Bertholdt thinks that maybe he had sat up earlier in the night and had just fallen back asleep in that position. “Reiner…?”

“Bertholdt…” Bert takes in a shaky breath at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. His tone sounds rawer and more tired than usual and he used his full name which means there’s no way that this can be good. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  Bertholdt feels his heart drop when he completely realizes what Reiner's talking about. He doesn’t know what to say and he really doesn’t have an excuse. “How long have you known?” He pauses for a moment before finally whispering an answer.

“A while…everyone else does too. I think you were the last to come around.”

“How long is ‘a while?’” Bert doesn’t know what kind of state Reiner is in right now but it really doesn’t sound good.

“Do you remember that night I got really sick and then went to Annie's for a few days?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“And you still wanted to be with me after remembering everything?” Reiner's tone is one of sheer disbelief. Bertholdt pushes his bottom lip out into a pout before finally sitting up and scooting closer.

“Of course I did…even more than before I knew.” He raises a slightly shaky hand and hesitates for a moment before allowing it to rest lightly on Reiner's back. The blonde's muscles tense under his touch and Bert holds his hand there until he relaxes again.

“You wanted to be with me even before you knew...?” Reiner still sounds slightly shaken yet surprised. Bert crawls to the end of the bed to sit beside his boyfriend with a soft sigh.

“Yeah, for a while actually…funny how that works, huh?” He starts to chuckle softly but stops when he gets a good look at Reiner's face. He looks tired. Really tired. His eyes look kind of sunken in and Bertholdt wonders how long he's been awake. The brunet's heart breaks when Reiner turns to give him the saddest look he's ever seen.

“I’m so…so sorry.” Tears begin to well up in his eyes and Bertholdt lunges forward to take the obviously broken man into his arms. He sees Reiner cry – _really_ cry – for the first time in ages. Bertholdt wants to console him but he knows it’s going to be almost impossible with the state that the blonde is currently in. Bert pulls back in an attempt to dry Reiner's tears but he's still got a strong grip on the taller man's shirt as he blubbers apologies through heavy sobs. Bertholdt tries to pat his back soothingly instead.

“Shhhh shh…hey, it’s alright…” Reiner shakes his head as he pulls away to rub his wet eyes with the backs of his hands.

“It isn’t. I fucked up so bad, Bertl.” Bertholdt raises his hands to wipe his thumbs across Reiner’s cheeks, collecting the tears that are still flowing down his cheeks.

“If you hadn’t then I probably would have. Trust me, it’s alright.” The blonde shakes his head again as his lip begins to quiver.

“No, I don’t think you would have. Don’t try to make me feel better by lying…please. You’re so much stronger…always have been. Hell, I wasn’t even supposed to be there. You know that. And I know that….and it was only a matter of time before I ruined everything.” Bertholdt frowns before brushing Reiner's bangs back with the side of his hand.

“I’m not lying…I’m really not as strong as you think I am. At least not when we were in that situation. None of us should’ve been there; fighting someone else's war. We were only _children_ , Reiner, and I don’t blame you for what happened to us.” The brunet pauses for a moment in an attempt to calm himself down. “It's different now. We don’t have to worry about any of that anymore and we can live how we want to now…isn’t that what we wanted from the beginning?” Reiner's lip wobbles again as he nods and Bertholdt holds him closer, trying to keep him from starting up again.

“God, you’re amazing.” Reiner sniffles before wiping his face with the inside of his shirt. It’s quiet for a few moments and it seems like Reiner has finally calmed down so Bertholdt decides to take a risk and approach a topic that he knows is probably pretty touchy right now.

“Do you want to talk about…umm…what happened to you?”

“No. Never.” Bertholdt nods slowly. _Oh…that bad, huh?_  “I just…I just want to forget all of it.” Bertholdt slides closer and smiles when Reiner doesn’t shift away from him.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” Reiner leans his head on his boyfriend's shoulder with a heavy sigh.

“I’m kind of…” He pauses, not wanting this to sound as bad as he knows it will. “I’m kind of glad that you didn’t get the chance to come home. It wouldn’t have been worth it.” Bertholdt frowns slightly and pats the blonde's knee before sliding back to his side of the bed to lean against the headboard. He hopes Reiner follows.

“I wish I would’ve…because then maybe you might not have had to deal with whatever nightmare you had to face alone.” Reiner crawls back towards the headboard and settles in before sniffling and using a tissue to wipe his runny nose.

“Let’s not talk about 'what ifs'…I’ve missed you.” Bertholdt smiles sadly when Reiner cups one of his cheeks with a calloused hand. He's been trying hard to stave off his own tears because he wants to be strong for the man beside him but his strength seems to be waning.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” Reiner smiles back with a nod before whispering.

“You have.” Tears begin to well up in the brunet's eyes when he thinks about just how lucky they are to have been given a second chance to be with their friends, their families, and each other; no, or very few, complications included. Reiner slides a thumb across Bert's wet cheek when the tears finally drop. The taller man smiles at the gesture before noticing just how shaky Reiner's hand is. He figures the blond must be nervous since it probably feels like he hasn't been able to touch him for ages despite their rather frequent contact these days. Bert politely knocks Reiner's hand out of the way to wipe his own tears away before calming himself.

“Are you alright?” Reiner nods slowly before hesitantly dropping his hand.

“I’ll be okay..” He sighs softly before nervously averting his gaze. “Bertl…?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” Bertholdt smiles before lacing his fingers with Reiner's and leaning close.

“You don’t have to ask…” He leans closer until their lips are just barely touching, close enough for him to feel his boyfriend's breath catch in anticipation. Reiner somehow finds the courage to close the distance between them and can’t help the way his heart pounds in his chest when their lips finally touch. The blonde pulls away after only a few seconds.

“I didn’t think I’d ever get to do that again…” Bertholdt sinks down to lay against the mattress before snaking an arm around the back of Reiner's neck with a smile.

“Wanna do it again?” The blonde grins wide and nods as he follows Bert's movements when the man pulls him down to his level. It doesn’t take long for them to get lost in each other. It had never been too hard for them to get carried away but the old emotions flooding Reiner's mind are making it all too easy.

The blonde stiffens up when he feels a hand slide beneath his t-shirt and up his stomach to rest on his chest. He has a feeling he knows what direction this situation is going in and although he wouldn't mind a good comfort fuck, he knows the rules. Reiner takes a shaky breath before pulling away slowly. “What about your parents?” Bert slides his hand around to press it flat against his boyfriend's back and pull him closer.

“Don’t care. Need you.” Reiner’s heart begins to pound a little faster when Bertholdt insistently tugs at his shirt with his free hand. He's nervous but he doesn’t protest when the taller man rolls on top of him before pulling the imposing layer of fabric over his head. Bert presses a hand to his boyfriend’s chest to feel his heart hammering away. “You alright?” Reiner nods in response before brushing a lock of the brunet's hair out of his face.

“Yeah, just a little nervous…” Bertholdt chuckles softly before leaning down to ghost his lips over the column of Reiner's neck.

“We just did this two days ago…”

“I know, I know. It sounds silly but…it’s different now.” Bert smiles sweetly before sitting upright to slide his own shirt off and toss it to the floor.

“Alright, I suppose it is.” The brunet drops back down to pepper kisses along his boyfriend's collar bones. “Are you sure you want to keep going?”

“More than ever.” Bertholdt nods and hums softly before sucking a spot just above one of Reiner's collar bones. The blonde gasps softly and arches into the mouth working at him as well as the feather-light touches that have been trailing down his abdomen. Bert slides down further to press soft kisses down Reiner's chest before slipping his tongue out to slide it between his abs. He takes his time tracing the outline of each one, smiling at each puff of breath and roll of muscle the motion draws from the man beneath him.

Reiner looks down and slides his hand through the mop of dark hair that seems to be moving ever closer to his waistband. “Bertl?”

“Yeah?” The taller man's deep voice rumbles against Reiner's stomach and he takes a deep breath in an attempt to collect himself.

“Do you want the lube?” Bert raises his head to give Reiner an excited smile.

“You want to bottom tonight?” Reiner nods as he reaches a hand over to grab the bottle from atop the nightstand.

“I’d like to make it a more common occurrence than it is at the moment.” He tosses the bottle to the man waiting at his waistband and Bert catches it with a level of skill that Reiner feels like he hasn’t seen in a long time. Bertholdt sets the bottle aside before leaning back down to slowly kiss along each of his boyfriend's hips in an attempt to get him as worked up as possible. Reiner drops his head back down with a soft groan as he focuses on the sensations flowing through his nerve endings. Bertholdt slowly peels back the waistband of his boyfriend's tight boxer briefs until the head of his cock is peeking out. He presses a soft kiss to the flushed appendage before pulling the garment down the blonde's legs and dropping it to the floor.

Bertholdt looks at Reiner with a raised eyebrow when he turns to find his cock bobbing against his stomach in anticipation. “That horny, huh?” The blonde nods quickly, unashamed as a faint smile starts to pull at his lips. Bert wastes no time when he leans down to press his tongue flat against the base, making sure to hold Reiner's hips down when the other man digs his heels into the mattress. He slides the tip of his tongue up the length of his shaft in light teasing strokes, weaving in between each of the piercings that he’s learned to use as markers. Reiner groans when Bertholdt starts to suckle at the tip of his cock and jumps slightly when two well-lubed fingers are suddenly feeling up his ass.

The brunet looks up at him and smiles around the dick in his mouth before sinking lower. He slides his fingers against his boyfriend's entrance in a mesmerizing motion and Reiner is almost begging him to do something, _anything_. Reiner groans and grips Bertholdt's hair tightly when he feels the very tip of a slender finger sink in. He tries to bear down on it but the brunet has a pretty strong hold on his hip with his free hand. That still doesn’t stop the blonde from wiggling. “Bertl, I swear to God if you don’t finger me right now, I’m going to go insane.” Bertholdt smiles again and stills his finger before taking more cock into his mouth. He doesn’t listen to Reiner's request and the blond huffs in frustration. “Baby, come on.” Reiner's pout is interrupted by a soft moan when he feels the brunet sink lower until the head of his cock is pressed against the silky heat of his throat. “Oh god, _please_.”

Reiner raises his hips with a yelp when that long finger finally presses deep. Bertholdt makes a soft choked sound before a bit of saliva and precum leaks out from around the corners of his mouth. Reiner pants softly before cupping his boyfriend's cheek with a soft-spoken apology for choking him. The brunet pulls back to pay more attention to the head as he works the man beneath him open. He doesn’t ask before using a second finger and Reiner jumps again. Bertholdt glares up at him from the spot between his boyfriend’s legs.

“ _Fuck_ , s-sorry. M'really not meaning to.” Bert pulls off completely and wraps his free hand around the shaft as he speeds the movements of his fingers. Reiner's panting heavily now and Bertholdt knows he’s got him almost where he wants him. “Shit, Bertl. _Please_ just fuck me already…” _Perfect_. The brunet smiles devilishly after getting what he had been waiting for.

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” The taller man sits back on his heels and removes his fingers at an agonizingly slow pace. “Toss me a condom?” Reiner shakes his head as he sits up to tug at his boyfriend's currently ill-fitting underwear. The taller man leans closer until Reiner has a chance to catch his lips in a firm kiss.

“Just want you…if you’re comfortable with that.” Bert nods quickly as he tries to get his tongue in his boyfriend's mouth between every word he speaks.

“I feel honored that you’re gracing me with the opportunity to cum in your ass.” Reiner grins wide before allowing the elastic of the taller man's underwear to snap back against his skin. He loves it when his boyfriend finds the courage to be bold. Bertholdt wastes no time in getting rid of his underwear and gets a bit carried away as he lubes himself up. He's really just been touching himself for so long to show off over anything else.

“Damn…you even going to make it into me?”

“Oh yeah, there’s no doubt about that…just thought I’d show you what you do to me before we really get into it.” Reiner gasps when he feels the blunt end of a cock against his entrance and grips the sheets tightly when it slips in much easier than he thought it would.

“ _Fuck.”_ He already sounds a bit winded by the sudden intrusion and Bert smirks slightly as he slides in further.

“You tapping out already?”

“Hell no, I’ve taken way more of your dick than this before. I’m just really worked up is all.” Bertholdt shrugs before sliding his hands up to grip his boyfriend’s hips tightly and sink in further. The glide is much smoother than it would’ve been with a condom and Bert has to hold himself back from pushing into the delicious heat of his boyfriend's ass any quicker than he already is. Bertholdt draws back slowly and gives shallow thrusts with only the length that the blond has grown accustomed to, adding about half an inch every few thrusts until he’s fully seated.

Reiner starts whimpering and shifting his hips beneath him and he pauses for a moment. “You aren’t hurt, are you?”

“No, but you will be if you don’t hurry up and fuck me already.” Bertholdt chuckles softly and Reiner swears he can feel every rumble exit the taller man's body and enter his.

“So impatient that we're threatening me now, are we? I thought you would’ve learned by now that that technique will get you nowhere.” Reiner roughly hooks his legs around his boyfriend’s waist, somehow managing to push him deeper in the process, before grabbing the back of Bert's neck with a strong grip.

“Shut up and fuck me.” Reiner crushes their lips together and Bertholdt groans. He doesn’t need to be asked (demanded) twice. Bert draws out almost completely before sinking home, beginning to pant softly as he creates a smooth rhythm. He braces an arm on the pillow beside Reiner's head before speeding up, attempting to speak through his fractured breathing.

“Is this what you wanted?” Reiner digs his nails into the flesh of his boyfriend's shoulder blades as his back arches off of the mattress.

“Fuck, _yes_.” He whines when Bertholdt just barely misses his prostate and angles his hips in a way that will hopefully help him out. Reiner moans roughly and throws an arm over his eyes after Bert hits it spot on. _This man is good at everything,_ he thinks, _and it isn’t fair in the slightest bit_. He sighs shakily before sliding his fingertips across Bert's already sweaty skin. “Th-that’s it…faster.” Bertholdt nods before picking up the pace and leaning down to silence his boyfriend’s cries with his own mouth.

When he pulls away, he realizes that Reiner has been crying and Bertholdt instantly comes to a full stop. “H-hey, you're sure you aren’t hurt, right?”  He pants softly as he tries to collect himself and figure out what’s wrong with his boyfriend at the same time. Reiner smiles before wiping his eyes until they’re dry.

“Don’t worry…just feels really good and I love you too much to not be this happy about it.” Bert returns the smile and nods slowly. After completely determining that Reiner really isn’t crying because he’s hurt, he starts again slowly until finally working up to the pace he had set before. The blond is moaning pretty loudly and Bert knows he should find a way to silence him to keep from waking his parents but he just can’t bring himself to interrupt the sweet sounds Reiner is making for him. If they end up hearing anything, Bert will just have to suffer in awkward silence until his mother decides to bring it up.

Reiner’s begging again and Bertholdt pulls himself from his anxious thoughts to listen to his boyfriend's pleas. “T-touch me _please_ …feel so close.” Bert grips one of the blonde's sharp hips tightly before driving into his prostate harder, milking silent screams from the man below him with every thrust. He knows Reiner's on the edge and part of him wants to keep him there. After a few more hard thrusts, he decides to be generous and takes his boyfriend's cock in a firm grip before stroking in time with his thrusts.

Reiner raises his hips up off of the bed and Bertholdt swears he can see the blonde's eyes roll into the back of his head when he cums after a particularly hard hit to his prostate. His body convulses and he pants heavily as he holds onto his boyfriend for dear life. Bert winces when Reiner squeezes around him like a vise and tries and fails to pump his hips into the inviting heat. He waits out his boyfriend’s orgasm before continuing to gently rock his hips forward, pulling soft whimpers from the blonde's throat with each motion.

“Reiner, baby…I-I…I still have a bit to go but if I go fast, it won’t take long.” Reiner nods slowly, almost as if he can’t process what Bert had said completely clearly. “I know you’re sensitive but I’m going to need you to be a little quieter…alright?” Reiner nods again before turning his head to the side and biting into the pillow that his head isn’t resting on. Bertholdt makes sure to shift away from his boyfriend's prostate before working up to the pace that he had set before. It doesn’t take him as long as he thought it would and soon he’s slipping in and out erratically. Reiner's been doing a fantastic job of muffling his moans but Bertholdt decides to pull his face away from the pillow to kiss him roughly as he falls over the edge.

The brunet's hips stutter a few times as he pumps his boyfriend full and Reiner sighs as the new mixture of cum and lube soothe his insides. He winces when Bert slides out but huddles close when the taller man flops down beside him. Reiner waits for Bertholdt to cool down and catch his breath before pulling him into an embrace. Bertholdt smiles sleepily before pressing back against the blonde's sticky body. “How was it?”

“Everything I had ever wished for and more.”

“Don’t worry about cleaning up…I’ll change the sheets and we can take a nice soothing bath in the morning, agreed?” Bert feels the faint motion of Reiner nodding.

“Agreed.” It’s silent for a moment and Bertholdt is almost asleep when Reiner speaks again.

“Bertl..?”

“Yeah?”

“How do you think we managed to get lucky enough to get a second chance?”

“Not sure…maybe some divine force makes up for all of the bad luck in your past life.” Reiner chuckles softly.

“Alright, yeah _sure_.” Bertholdt sighs softly before nervously playing with Reiner's thumb.

“Are you going to be okay after all of this?”

“It…it might be rough at first, I won’t lie…but I think I’ll be alright.” He presses a soft kiss between Bertholdt’s shoulder blades before burying his face there with a small smile.  “As long as I get to stay by your side, I’ll be alright.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really wasn't intending for this to be the last chapter but as I continued to write, it continued to feel more like the right direction to go.
> 
> Welcome to the end of my very first multichapter fic! I'm sorry if the ending is disappointing. :(  
> But, hey! I've kind of been working on a few companion pieces to this (as well as a new fic with a cool and hopefully not overdone plot that I think you guys might really enjoy) lately so don't worry, I'll still be putting out new content pretty regularly! ^.^
> 
> You can look out for any updates at shingeki-no-killme.tumblr.com
> 
> Until next time!


End file.
